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I'm learning about anger at the moment... I've carried an angry bundle for years and I still don't really understand what it is all about, although I do have some ideas of where it comes from and I notice it in my behaviour.
I have had therapy for years and the point where I am at now, is kind of like an exorcism of my own demons. At times, I feel violent, aggressive, murderous, viscious, vile, angry, rageful etc. I subsequently feel ashamed, guilty, sad... I had a therapy session this afternoon. This was the first time that I have shared my feelings and thoughts around this subject. I felt like I had more space inside afterwards and lighter, somehow. I also got in touch with my hope = that is, that I understand where all this anger is rooted (childhood, parents) and that I will be able to pluck the root out and equip myself with information and knowledge of how to deal with my feelings. One of the ways that was only mentioned, which I have yet to learn about, is about listening to what the anger is saying and finding out about my angers 'needs'. My therapist thinks that there is a lot of hidden power in my anger. Before expressing myself in the session, I would have interpreted that in a destructive way. However, I am now seeing that statement differently. I suspect that my power as an individual has been suppressed in the past and that I have continued to suppress myself well into my adult life. Amongst many revelations... I'm sharing this as I just want to perhaps offer some hope to those in despair with their own anger. I have experienced very dark times recently, my hope has been crushed out of sight. I'm interested to hear your experiences of anger, too. Fucking angry that I spelt suppress, supress...  edit...[This message was edited Wed Feb 26 13:59:20 PST 2003 by Therapy] | |
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Are you sure its not just PMT?  Some people are like Slinkies...
They're good for nothing but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. | |
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 awesome to hear about these improvements!
Since you're in therapy you probably already know this, but I'll share with those that don't know. It's known that anger is the only emotion that is a mask for another emotion. No one is ever really angry, it's just an expression of guilt, sadness, pain, or any other negative emotion that can be felt. So once this is realized, one can really dig deep to find out where the anguish is coming from, and why they're angry about it. Sometimes you have to go back years and years. Therapy, if you ever need anyone to vent to, I am here for you! Although we don't exactly know each other too well, I understand and am here for ya. 
Oh shit, my hat done fell off | |
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Self discovery and self improvement are a wonderful thing to undertake, when it's as sincere as yours seems to be... 
Therapy | |
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wellbeyond said: Self discovery and self improvement are a wonderful thing to undertake, when it's as sincere as yours seems to be...
Therapy  (on the cheek) | |
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It kind of frustrates me that someone who I see as a friend (though have never met) has felt this bad.
If you were in my social circle of friends, we'd stay up all night talking about whatever you wanted to talk about and I'd do my utmost to improve your life as best as I could. As it stands, I can only send you my best wishes, so here they are; I wish you all the love in the World | |
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Haystack said: It kind of frustrates me that someone who I see as a friend (though have never met) has felt this bad.
If you were in my social circle of friends, we'd stay up all night talking about whatever you wanted to talk about and I'd do my utmost to improve your life as best as I could. As it stands, I can only send you my best wishes, so here they are; I wish you all the love in the World Haystack. I appreciate your giving intentions. I don't feel bad for feeling what I feel, the way I feel is me.
Sometimes, I really want to speak with my friends about what troubles me. Recently, I've decided that I've needed to sort out such things alone. Believe, I'd feel enriched just by playing Dutch Ovens with you. Just miss out the rimming part though, ok?! I wish you all the love in the world, too!! | |
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Anger is an interesting thing. I've done some work in that area too Therapy. Just addressing that you have an issue with it is a milestone huh? Being honest with ourselves can be so hard because you can disappoint yourself sometimes. I hate admitting that I have a hard time keeping my expressions of anger within healthy bounds. But who wants to add denial on top of it? :LOL: | |
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Therapy   , I believe I know what you feel. I believe you are well on your way, truly I do... for it begins first with wanting to "change", then acknowledging all moments of the past and wanting to face what it is that has weighed you down (with anger) for so long. It also may mean one must remove themselves from a negative environment and surround themselves fully with a positive one, even if it means shutting certain people out. Influences of others do have a powerful way of influencing our decisions and hopes in finding a better way. Reasons why I feel, is because our inner-soul has not quite healed, "we" must allow "time" to heal our past, one must. Removing our physical self grants us the "time" to not be influence directly by the hurts and wounds created by others. Do we forget..., no... usually never and in reality it is a good thing.
Nonetheless, a healing heart can learn to forgive if... that is what we choose and so desperately desire. The desire to want to be free, free of anger and gain self-love is a place many can only dream of being, although many do not know how to take the steps necessary or perhaps may not have the positive support system one may need to get to that point. To love others effortlessly comes only after one love's the self and it may take some time... although when that time comes... nothing can be as beautiful as living a life free of anger/regret. All happens for reasons (all moments no matter how grim), but within it all there are valuable lessons to take along our life's path and help prepare us for the challenges that lay ahead with a more positive and beautiful outlook, by then... nothing can get in our way.
I thought I should orgnote you... then I said, no... not this time.
Good Luck Colette! | |
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I respect the therapeutic process...
Bottom line: Anger, to be removed, but first be experienced for what it is... Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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Freespirit said: [color=magenta:5ccb9f3000:850d5ff84f]Therapy
, I believe I know what you feel. I believe you are well on your way, truly I do... for it begins first with wanting to "change", then acknowledging all moments of the past and wanting to face what it is that has weighed you down (with anger) for so long. It also may mean one must remove themselves from a negative environment and surround themselves fully with a positive one, even if it means shutting certain people out. Influences of others do have a powerful way of influencing our decisions and hopes in finding a better way. Reasons why I feel, is because our inner-soul has not quite healed, "we" must allow "time" to heal our past, one must. Removing our physical self grants us the "time" to not be influence directly by the hurts and wounds created by others. Do we forget..., no... usually never and in reality it is a good thing.
Nonetheless, a healing heart can learn to forgive if... that is what we choose and so desperately desire. The desire to want to be free, free of anger and gain self-love is a place many can only dream of being, although many do not know how to take the steps necessary or perhaps may not have the positive support system one may need to get to that point. To love others effortlessly comes only after one love's the self and it may take some time... although when that time comes... nothing can be as beautiful as living a life free of anger/regret. All happens for reasons (all moments no matter how grim), but within it all there are valuable lessons to take along our life's path and help prepare us for the challenges that lay ahead with a more positive and beautiful outlook, by then... nothing can get in our way.
I thought I should orgnote you... then I said, no... not this time.
Good Luck Colette! Beautiful as always, thank you Freespirit. It gives me a great deal of hope to read your post. Many points you make solidify my own questions and thoughts, that were floating as clouds at the middle/back of my mind. They are now solid and I am digesting. Especially contact with other people, limiting it in order to heal. Thank you | |
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teller said: I respect the therapeutic process...
Bottom line: Anger, to be removed, but first be experienced for what it is... So true Teller. Unless I experience my anger for exactly what it is, it will stay. Just giving something attention sometimes is all it takes for a shift. | |
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Berry said: Anger is an interesting thing. I've done some work in that area too Therapy. Just addressing that you have an issue with it is a milestone huh? Being honest with ourselves can be so hard because you can disappoint yourself sometimes. I hate admitting that I have a hard time keeping my expressions of anger within healthy bounds. But who wants to add denial on top of it? :LOL:
My problems with anger are about knowing what to do with it once I am experiencing it, or, how to safely express it without acting it out. Oh absolutely, denial on top is the cork in the bottle. Yet, even if this is done Berry, it is done for a good reason I believe. Serves to temporarily protect you? Thanx. | |
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Therapy said: My problems with anger are about knowing what to do with it once I am experiencing it, or, how to safely express it without acting it out.
Oh absolutely, denial on top is the cork in the bottle. Yet, even if this is done Berry, it is done for a good reason I believe. Serves to temporarily protect you? Thanx. Just getting to the point of release, where it can be experienced, unlocks the reasons you are angry. Those reasons are blocked from your consciousness so long as the emotions that go with them are kept under lock and key. Once exposed, you can frame your thoughts in your present grown-up context, acknowledge the reasons for being angry, and it will dissipate. Feel deeply to think clearly. Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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I can relate to what you say because I get this way also, and it scares me. I don't understand why I am like this, but it's not 24/7 or anything. I just have so much negativity about things in the world and people. But I catch myself when my thoughts start to get out of hand and give myself a mental slap in the face. I really do. It seems to help, but at least you are in therapy. I've never been. My biggest obstacle has alway been fear though. More so than anger. I went to the doctor once for anxiety and panic attacks that I have (years ago) and he just prescribed Zoloft (anti-depressant) and Valium and left it at that. Not even a mention of therapy from him, although all my friends were telling me I should go.
I feel like I can talk about it to people now though, and my husband has been there, and pretty much saved me. If we never met, I probably wouldn't even be here today, for various reasons. He puts up with even my most psychotic episodes brilliantly, and for that I am forever grateful. "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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Therapy said: Berry said: Anger is an interesting thing. I've done some work in that area too Therapy. Just addressing that you have an issue with it is a milestone huh? Being honest with ourselves can be so hard because you can disappoint yourself sometimes. I hate admitting that I have a hard time keeping my expressions of anger within healthy bounds. But who wants to add denial on top of it? :LOL:
My problems with anger are about knowing what to do with it once I am experiencing it, or, how to safely express it without acting it out. Oh absolutely, denial on top is the cork in the bottle. Yet, even if this is done Berry, it is done for a good reason I believe. Serves to temporarily protect you? Thanx. My therapist was telling me that some people actually start to see the world in red, literally. I can feel it in my body. When that happens I know I am beyond communicating at that point and have to do "something" to "come back"... That's the hard part. I am not even really sure what I do now that I think about it? I think I've come to feel when I am going there and have stopped fueling it... I guess I basically call a time-out on myself  Have to think more about this...
Great topic Therapy! [This message was edited Thu Feb 27 10:01:16 PST 2003 by Berry] | |
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Freespirit said: [color=magenta:5ccb9f3000:8b79f2818e]Therapy
, I believe I know what you feel. I believe you are well on your way, truly I do... for it begins first with wanting to "change", then acknowledging all moments of the past and wanting to face what it is that has weighed you down (with anger) for so long. It also may mean one must remove themselves from a negative environment and surround themselves fully with a positive one, even if it means shutting certain people out. Influences of others do have a powerful way of influencing our decisions and hopes in finding a better way. Reasons why I feel, is because our inner-soul has not quite healed, "we" must allow "time" to heal our past, one must. Removing our physical self grants us the "time" to not be influence directly by the hurts and wounds created by others. Do we forget..., no... usually never and in reality it is a good thing.
Nonetheless, a healing heart can learn to forgive if... that is what we choose and so desperately desire. The desire to want to be free, free of anger and gain self-love is a place many can only dream of being, although many do not know how to take the steps necessary or perhaps may not have the positive support system one may need to get to that point. To love others effortlessly comes only after one love's the self and it may take some time... although when that time comes... nothing can be as beautiful as living a life free of anger/regret. All happens for reasons (all moments no matter how grim), but within it all there are valuable lessons to take along our life's path and help prepare us for the challenges that lay ahead with a more positive and beautiful outlook, by then... nothing can get in our way.
I thought I should orgnote you... then I said, no... not this time.
Good Luck Colette! Really nice Freespirit | |
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 Therapy!
Thank you for sharing. Releasing anger is one of the most exhilarting feelings in the world... Just remember that for every obstacle you encounter in life, there in lies an opportunity for growth. As you grow you will attract like minded people to your life... Yipppiiieee! ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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sag10 said: Therapy!
Thank you for sharing. Releasing anger is one of the most exhilarting feelings in the world... Just remember that for every obstacle you encounter in life, there in lies an opportunity for growth. As you grow you will attract like minded people to your life... Yipppiiieee! You are going to release something alright... 
| |
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Lleena said: sag10 said: Therapy!
Thank you for sharing. Releasing anger is one of the most exhilarting feelings in the world... Just remember that for every obstacle you encounter in life, there in lies an opportunity for growth. As you grow you will attract like minded people to your life... Yipppiiieee! You are going to release something alright...
You just quit jacking her thread! Sorry, Therapy.^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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