SeventeenDayze said:

Ottensen said:

Well what I meant was sticking to hobbies and certain preferences like food, music, spiritual beliefs, etc., and I also mentioned going for something new that you always wanted to try. My point was that you want to try and be as authentic as possible with the new people you meet and not try to pose as something you're not and pretend to have interests that you don't. You'd be surprised how many foolish people out there go this route in order to widen the pool and trap a mate.

The racial factor doesn't have to be an issue at all. I'm a 42 year old black woman whose loves a fine black american man, but have openly, joyously and unabashedly dated males of all races and ethnicities since my first high school formal at the age of 16. Heck, if you're Christian one is taught that the day is coming when there will be no seas (that which metaphorically divides the nations) and we will be all colors and tongues living harmoniously together in love and joy anywa so I say why not just get a head start ?

Oh don't worry, I have dated/shagged men of all nationalities, colors, etc That won't change I think I will give the other guy a chance, he's been online checking my profile and/or emailing me almost daily since we met. If he's a closet case, then time will reveal but perhaps he could be a friend for now that I really need at this point in my life. It's hard to explain but given all the crap that's gone down in my family over the past few years and the decreased desire I have for more female friends, I think something inside me is just saying, "Go about it another way now"...I have to follow that voice

Perhaps I will actually try fly fishing just for the hell of it because you mentioned it in your post

It's interesting how different hobbies attract different kinds of men and I think there is something to not only being authentic but aiming for the kind of social group you want to be a part of. I was in a bluegrass jam group and one guy invited me to join his band and was inviting me here and there, obviously interested, and I could feel other guys lurking as well. The problem is, it was a bunch of old geezers with mustaches. Not really my type or age group. While I loved playing the music, that was one of the reasons I moved on to other hobbies. The social group wasn't the right fit for me, and it was opening a can of worms.

heartbeatocean said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Oh don't worry, I have dated/shagged men of all nationalities, colors, etc That won't change I think I will give the other guy a chance, he's been online checking my profile and/or emailing me almost daily since we met. If he's a closet case, then time will reveal but perhaps he could be a friend for now that I really need at this point in my life. It's hard to explain but given all the crap that's gone down in my family over the past few years and the decreased desire I have for more female friends, I think something inside me is just saying, "Go about it another way now"...I have to follow that voice

Perhaps I will actually try fly fishing just for the hell of it because you mentioned it in your post

It's interesting how different hobbies attract different kinds of men and I think there is something to not only being authentic but aiming for the kind of social group you want to be a part of. I was in a bluegrass jam group and one guy invited me to join his band and was inviting me here and there, obviously interested, and I could feel other guys lurking as well. The problem is, it was a bunch of old geezers with mustaches. Not really my type or age group. While I loved playing the music, that was one of the reasons I moved on to other hobbies. The social group wasn't the right fit for me, and it was opening a can of worms.

I have had the same issue. I would meet older guys I didn't like in that manner through mutual friends and they were into music and wanted to jam, but I didn't want to make myself available or look desperate each time I was asked or I would be leading them on, so it would be if the person I knew was asking or if I happened to be in the area or something like that. But I also find that younger guys just have no insight even though the good thing is, they don't want to rush settling down, and I definitely don't want to either!

heartbeatocean said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Oh don't worry, I have dated/shagged men of all nationalities, colors, etc That won't change I think I will give the other guy a chance, he's been online checking my profile and/or emailing me almost daily since we met. If he's a closet case, then time will reveal but perhaps he could be a friend for now that I really need at this point in my life. It's hard to explain but given all the crap that's gone down in my family over the past few years and the decreased desire I have for more female friends, I think something inside me is just saying, "Go about it another way now"...I have to follow that voice

Perhaps I will actually try fly fishing just for the hell of it because you mentioned it in your post

It's interesting how different hobbies attract different kinds of men and I think there is something to not only being authentic but aiming for the kind of social group you want to be a part of. I was in a bluegrass jam group and one guy invited me to join his band and was inviting me here and there, obviously interested, and I could feel other guys lurking as well. The problem is, it was a bunch of old geezers with mustaches. Not really my type or age group. While I loved playing the music, that was one of the reasons I moved on to other hobbies. The social group wasn't the right fit for me, and it was opening a can of worms.

Heartbeat..your comments and alpha's comments give me hope I think I tend to have diverse interests but usually enjoy stuff related to visual arts (film), sports, etc. I think the guy who seemed too "girly" was a bit of a narcissist and emotionally unavailable so I'm going to put that on the backburner. I have a date setup for tomorrow night with another guy who is about 10 years older than me who is a lawyer.

Anyone ever dated a lawyer before? Do tell

SeventeenDayze said:

heartbeatocean said:

It's interesting how different hobbies attract different kinds of men and I think there is something to not only being authentic but aiming for the kind of social group you want to be a part of. I was in a bluegrass jam group and one guy invited me to join his band and was inviting me here and there, obviously interested, and I could feel other guys lurking as well. The problem is, it was a bunch of old geezers with mustaches. Not really my type or age group. While I loved playing the music, that was one of the reasons I moved on to other hobbies. The social group wasn't the right fit for me, and it was opening a can of worms.

Heartbeat..your comments and alpha's comments give me hope I think I tend to have diverse interests but usually enjoy stuff related to visual arts (film), sports, etc. I think the guy who seemed too "girly" was a bit of a narcissist and emotionally unavailable so I'm going to put that on the backburner. I have a date setup for tomorrow night with another guy who is about 10 years older than me who is a lawyer.

Anyone ever dated a lawyer before? Do tell

yeah I also have interests like music (not limited to today's like with most I end up with ), satire and a few other things, and some guy I was with was into everything I was, that it eventually looked fake

As for dating lawyers, never have but it wouldn't surprise me if they had a know-it-all attitude to them

alphastreet said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Heartbeat..your comments and alpha's comments give me hope I think I tend to have diverse interests but usually enjoy stuff related to visual arts (film), sports, etc. I think the guy who seemed too "girly" was a bit of a narcissist and emotionally unavailable so I'm going to put that on the backburner. I have a date setup for tomorrow night with another guy who is about 10 years older than me who is a lawyer.

Anyone ever dated a lawyer before? Do tell

yeah I also have interests like music (not limited to today's like with most I end up with ), satire and a few other things, and some guy I was with was into everything I was, that it eventually looked fake

As for dating lawyers, never have but it wouldn't surprise me if they had a know-it-all attitude to them

Yeah I hate it when guys try to act like they like everything you do, it's so transparent and lame, why do they even bother to play that game?

At one point when I was emailing this dude, he was talking about how we seemed to have "such a connection even though we haven't met" and he's like "you complete me, no kidding". When I wrote him back and was like, "huh?" He's like "just kidding"...I was like wow, is this guy really trying to use a freaking Jerry McGuire line to impress me? *eyeroll*

SeventeenDayze said:

alphastreet said:

yeah I also have interests like music (not limited to today's like with most I end up with ), satire and a few other things, and some guy I was with was into everything I was, that it eventually looked fake

As for dating lawyers, never have but it wouldn't surprise me if they had a know-it-all attitude to them

Yeah I hate it when guys try to act like they like everything you do, it's so transparent and lame, why do they even bother to play that game?

At one point when I was emailing this dude, he was talking about how we seemed to have "such a connection even though we haven't met" and he's like "you complete me, no kidding". When I wrote him back and was like, "huh?" He's like "just kidding"...I was like wow, is this guy really trying to use a freaking Jerry McGuire line to impress me? *eyeroll*

WHAT?

Squash that contact immediately and do not entertain foolishness. Sounds like he doesn't have the sense God gave a goose; there are dolphins that communicate better than that at Sea World.

NEXT.

[Edited 5/31/12 10:23am]

Hell......NAY.

Ottensen said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Yeah I hate it when guys try to act like they like everything you do, it's so transparent and lame, why do they even bother to play that game?

At one point when I was emailing this dude, he was talking about how we seemed to have "such a connection even though we haven't met" and he's like "you complete me, no kidding". When I wrote him back and was like, "huh?" He's like "just kidding"...I was like wow, is this guy really trying to use a freaking Jerry McGuire line to impress me? *eyeroll*

WHAT?

Squash that contact immediately and do not entertain foolishness. Sounds like he doesn't have the sense God gave a goose; there are dolphins that communicate better than that at Sea World.

NEXT.

[Edited 5/31/12 10:23am]

Well, maybe he ain't got game but I should meet him in person and see what's up. If he's awkward in person too yeah I'll disappear. LOL

SeventeenDayze said:

Ottensen said:

WHAT?

Squash that contact immediately and do not entertain foolishness. Sounds like he doesn't have the sense God gave a goose; there are dolphins that communicate better than that at Sea World.

NEXT.

[Edited 5/31/12 10:23am]

Well, maybe he ain't got game but I should meet him in person and see what's up. If he's awkward in person too yeah I'll disappear. LOL

So I met the guy in person. I had zero attraction but gave him a chance anyway. The guy had really no personality at all in person, seemed more "fun" online. He also didn't really know how to keep a conversation going. He had the appearance of a guy who seems a bit creepy but kinda hides it. I dunno. I think those of you who have good luck from online dating are very lucky.

The guy showed up in a t-shirt and shorts and not sure but it didnt' look like he shaved at all....so yeah the date was painful but at least the guacamole and chips were worth the 2-hour endeavor