I know self-love and self-respect is more important before attracting someone and I tell people that too and from experience of letting myself be mishandled emotionally and mentally. Or I fall for those I can never have, and realize it's subconsciously cause of feeling undeserving of someone more on my level....but I trust no one, I've been hurt, and I feel relieved I don't have to deal with any drama from anyone right now though I have a habit of creating personal drama in my head, sometime inserting myself into others' if I think it's going to help them, and dealing with inner demons

I just mostly feel empty like if I don't have love, though I don't mean the same kind as for family or god, I still have myself but don't feel motivated and hungry, and I came to this realization.

Love stinks.

Being in love is so much fun.

But, I think being hurt is part of the process. You shouldn't let it discourage you from searching. Just make sure who hate the shit out of the person who hurt you. That helps.

Lawd, being in love sucks though if you've got a busy schedule.

*sings like Adam Sandler* LOVE STINKS!!!

imago: there was someone I wasn't in love with, but I hate them anyway.....and there's someone I could never have, and the feeling I got is closest to love, probably cause I let myself feel abandoned and victimized instead of taking chances , and I don't hate them, though I feel like I do cause it's easier to blame them than admit my mistakes. I could never have them and wasn't going to anyways

its not cause u r not good enough .... thats just how they make u feel when they reject u!!!

the reality is they r not interested and its a big gulp in the throat and it totally bangs up your ego, and that is why it hurts so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

understanding and realising the difference is very important, u can always stay friends with them as it really isnt their fault, they cant help it if they dont have that same feeling that u have......

u r a nice person and u have a good heart, one day it will happen 4 u!!!!

u will meet someone who likes u just as much as u like them

Yeah, love is the cesspool of human emotions.

We'd be better off as un-evolved creatures who reproduce out of chemical & DNA signals.

Love, like everything is a double edge sword.

I meet the most wonderful man in 2010 and we fell in love.

Last week he died on a business trip. This Tuesday I flew to St. Paul to his funeral.

There isn't a moment with him I would give up to avoid the sadness I feel now.

R.I.P Brown Sugar

http://www.legacy.com/obi...=157311674

littlemissG said:

Love, like everything is a double edge sword.

I meet the most wonderful man in 2010 and we fell in love.

Last week he died on a business trip. This Tuesday I flew to St. Paul to his funeral.

There isn't a moment with him I would give up to avoid the sadness I feel now.

R.I.P Brown Sugar

http://www.legacy.com/obi...=157311674

thats just so very sad!!!!!

i am sorry 4 your loss!!!!

But love is the only thing that can change the world.....

Me, I believe in love, and I give love (brotherly love, that is) to everyone I meet. And I respect myself. But I know how you're feeling alpha. Romantic love is a touchy issue, and we all have our demons and our issues.

I too have problems trusting people because I've been hurt before. But we don't build walls around us to keep everyone out. They're there so those that love us enough will be strong enough to climb over them. But once they do, don't tell them you won't give them a chance. At least try to...there's always an adventure and a lesson waiting to be learned. Being hurt sucks, but come on, it taught you to be stronger and make better decisions.

Yeah sure there's a lot of crap out there. A lot of men who play with your emotions and give you the words you want to hear. But that doesn't mean that one of them can't make you happy someday and for the rest of your life. Just gotta be mindful, ok?

littlemissG said:

Love, like everything is a double edge sword.

I meet the most wonderful man in 2010 and we fell in love.

Last week he died on a business trip. This Tuesday I flew to St. Paul to his funeral.

There isn't a moment with him I would give up to avoid the sadness I feel now.

R.I.P Brown Sugar

http://www.legacy.com/obi...=157311674

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My condolences.

[Edited 5/6/12 6:41am]

Love is the most complex and dangerous emotion we have. You take a chance every time you say those words or display the actions. Most of the time the love is reciprocated, but every now and then it is not and we get our hearts broken. It happened to me too. I can say that my self esteem is good, but my walls being put up are from experiencing trauma (which I won't go into) but that experience made it difficult for me to allow anyone into my life. The love I have for my son is different. It is unconditional-no matter what I love him and he loves me. He's 18 and we had a big parent to son fight last year and he told me I was all he had I feel the same towards him Now romantic love is something I have stirred away from-my heart and my mind gave up on it years ago. I have been through to many bad things in life to continue to deal with the drama from men I've borrowed some advice from Chris Brown "Fuck love I'm tired of trying." My best friend just started dating women I ain't going that route, but I'm at a point where I just want to focus on me and improve my life and well being. Life is short. We need to appreciate it and the loved one's we have while we can. I wish you the best Alpha and stop being so hard on yourself. We enjoy you on the Org and I know from talking to you that your heart is in the right place

littlemissG said:

Love, like everything is a double edge sword.

I meet the most wonderful man in 2010 and we fell in love.

Last week he died on a business trip. This Tuesday I flew to St. Paul to his funeral.

There isn't a moment with him I would give up to avoid the sadness I feel now.

R.I.P Brown Sugar

http://www.legacy.com/obi...=157311674

Sorry for your loss what a beautiful man

alphastreet said:

I know self-love and self-respect is more important before attracting someone and I tell people that too and from experience of letting myself be mishandled emotionally and mentally. Or I fall for those I can never have, and realize it's subconsciously cause of feeling undeserving of someone more on my level....but I trust no one, I've been hurt, and I feel relieved I don't have to deal with any drama from anyone right now though I have a habit of creating personal drama in my head, sometime inserting myself into others' if I think it's going to help them, and dealing with inner demons

I just mostly feel empty like if I don't have love, though I don't mean the same kind as for family or god, I still have myself but don't feel motivated and hungry, and I came to this realization.

At least you know where the root of the problem rises, so you can fix it.

alphastreet said:

I'm so sorry for your loss I know it sounds selfish, but do you feel abandoned by it though he couldn't have prevented it, and get thoughts to distract from the pain?

The thought that gets me thru is that I am so much better for knowing him. I regret what will never be. The memories alternate from making me smile to making me cry. I am not in some fanasty that makes me think he or we were perfect, but for two flawed people it was crazy good.

Alphastreet its good you don't feel motivated or hungry. Love isn't an achievement or a hunger, I don't know what it is exactly, but you will know when it happens. Your thread title suggests you think you have some control over falling in love- hahahaha! No You Don't.

You say this like it's a bad thing.

Ace said:

You say this like it's a bad thing.

No it's a good thing, some things should be mysterious.

and you're not missing anything I prefer friendships with some sex involved...

the older I get, the less I care about love, sex, other people's opinions about me, crushes, etc.

Yeah....
fuck love.

Visionnaire said:

Yeah....
fuck love.

angel345 said:

alphastreet said:

I know self-love and self-respect is more important before attracting someone and I tell people that too and from experience of letting myself be mishandled emotionally and mentally. Or I fall for those I can never have, and realize it's subconsciously cause of feeling undeserving of someone more on my level....but I trust no one, I've been hurt, and I feel relieved I don't have to deal with any drama from anyone right now though I have a habit of creating personal drama in my head, sometime inserting myself into others' if I think it's going to help them, and dealing with inner demons

I just mostly feel empty like if I don't have love, though I don't mean the same kind as for family or god, I still have myself but don't feel motivated and hungry, and I came to this realization.

At least you know where the root of the problem rises, so you can fix it.

I can't handle it mentally or emotionally, plus I'm too paranoid about getting hurt so it's better to just focus on myself and independence. But there is someone I loved that I can't have and though I still do, the attitude towards it has changed and changed me a great deal and I shouldn't blame my lack of motivation on it since I have to remind myself I'm capable on my own too, but the passion and spark of doing what I enjoy feels like it's gone though I don't know whether to tell myself it was an illusion or something that I will come to understand better with time.

littlemissG said:

alphastreet said:

I'm so sorry for your loss I know it sounds selfish, but do you feel abandoned by it though he couldn't have prevented it, and get thoughts to distract from the pain?

The thought that gets me thru is that I am so much better for knowing him. I regret what will never be. The memories alternate from making me smile to making me cry. I am not in some fanasty that makes me think he or we were perfect, but for two flawed people it was crazy good.

Alphastreet its good you don't feel motivated or hungry. Love isn't an achievement or a hunger, I don't know what it is exactly, but you will know when it happens. Your thread title suggests you think you have some control over falling in love- hahahaha! No You Don't.

I went to your link, he was very young That's always hard. And I hear you on the alternating emotions, and in one case on my end with this jerk I didn't even love cause he was disgusting and took advantage of everything, anger and feeling manic alternating, that put me in a dark place cause though I knew it was not a cure for how awful I felt, but I shouldn't have been seeing anyone at that time, and I'm sure he knew that and lied about a lot of things to get my attention that kept me from telling him off like I have with other creeps in the past.

But it sad when you loved someone (someone else, not this guy) so much that all the good and bad emotions inspire your creative spirit and you feel like you can do anything in the world....and you feel it fading away with age or from being depressed, even if you are capable. I actually do not believe in love at first sight, with me, it grows overtime and I believe in potential when meeting someone, and if it sticks, I still tell myself I'm my own person but get soooo caught up too. Even if I still love today, I can't feel it like before, it doesn't make me want to jump up and down and take on the world at all, though being so afraid of it too.

[Edited 5/6/12 22:48pm]

JoeTyler said:

and you're not missing anything I prefer friendships with some sex involved...

the older I get, the less I care about love, sex, other people's opinions about me, crushes, etc.

I kept saying I don't care about those things though I had a life, but I went a little crazy once the second half of my 20's began, as though I was regressing or having a crisis.

JoeTyler said:

and you're not missing anything I prefer friendships with some sex involved...

the older I get, the less I care about love, sex, other people's opinions about me, crushes, etc.

Do you liver near the Washington, DC area?

See, this man knows what he's talking about, you all!

littlemissG said:

Love, like everything is a double edge sword.

I meet the most wonderful man in 2010 and we fell in love.

Last week he died on a business trip. This Tuesday I flew to St. Paul to his funeral.

There isn't a moment with him I would give up to avoid the sadness I feel now.

R.I.P Brown Sugar

http://www.legacy.com/obi...=157311674

fuck

My thoughts are with you, love

littlemissG said:

Love, like everything is a double edge sword.

I meet the most wonderful man in 2010 and we fell in love.

Last week he died on a business trip. This Tuesday I flew to St. Paul to his funeral.

There isn't a moment with him I would give up to avoid the sadness I feel now.

R.I.P Brown Sugar

http://www.legacy.com/obi...=157311674

Oh, this must be very hard for you. I do hope you find peace and joy in remembering his time with you.

I graduated from HU, too. I even work at my alma mater. This may sound trite, but it will get better as time goes by. You will never forget him, but the hurt will ease eventually.

littlemissG said:

Love, like everything is a double edge sword.

I meet the most wonderful man in 2010 and we fell in love.

Last week he died on a business trip. This Tuesday I flew to St. Paul to his funeral.

There isn't a moment with him I would give up to avoid the sadness I feel now.

R.I.P Brown Sugar

http://www.legacy.com/obi...=157311674

This was painful to read; my thoughts are with you.

Maybe love is like money. They say that those who make a million once, if they loose it can do it again because they know how, Hopefully it is the same with falling in love with someone for all the right reasons Hopefully your good experience with him will help you know what to look for the next time, Sorry that u are grieving,

I agree with what everyone is saying littlemissG, very encouraging and powerful words in this thread

Ace said:

You say this like it's a bad thing.