by Scott Alden on September 08, 2011

AskMen recently published an analysis of what a man’s preferred sex position says about the man who prefers them. It’s a little bleak.

For example, your predilection toward doggy style indicates that you “have a real disdain toward women, and you try and degrade them any chance you get” — an assessment that is really kind of degrading to both men and women in and of itself.

Sure, it’s a joke. But it’s a joke that supports the very worst, most harmful assumptions about men’s sexuality. I could go on and on about the ways in which such a joke shames both men and women for having the kind of sex they want to have, not to mention the fact that some of the most loving, connected sex I’ve had in my life has been in the canine position — but I would l probably only be written off as a wet blanket by the ranks of bro-dom.

So, rather, I’d like to provide an alternative. Here’s the breakdown of what I think your favorite way to do it really says about who you are.

Doggy Style: You’re not afraid of your wilder nature.

Cowgirl: On top — You’re comfortable with yourself.

On the bottom — You like to see everything for yourself.

Reverse Cowgirl: On the top — You’re free-spirited.

On the bottom — You’re a dude.

Spooning: You flourish when you feel secure.

Seated: On top — Just because you’re open emotionally doesn’t mean you’re needy.

On the bottom — Just because you think you deserve to be treated like a goddamn king doesn’t mean you can’t be vulnerable.

Standing in the Shower: Just because you’re efficient doesn’t mean you’re boring.

“The Piledriver”: You. Get. Sh*t. Done.

Receiving Oral: You have no problem being taken care of.

Giving Oral: You’re a hero.

Anal: If you’re the giver — You think you deserve all of the the best that life has to offer.
If you’re the receiver — you’re kind of intense.

Double Penetration: You don’t really tend to do anything half-assed, do you?

69: You have a strong sense of justice.

Standing: You’re willing to work hard to get what you want.

Up Against The Wall: You’re into instant gratification.

Missionary: You’re a serial monogamist.

HuMpThAnG said:

69: You have a strong sense of justice.

I have a very strong sense of justice and I am no big fan of 69 , what does that say about me ?

http://www.sexinfo101.com...ions.shtml

Cowgirl:

On the bottom — You like to see everything for yourself.

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, to be truthful I'M JUST LAZY!!!

Reverse Cowgirl:

On the bottom — You’re a dude.

69: You have a strong sense of justice.

KingBAD said:

Cowgirl:

On the bottom — You like to see everything for yourself.

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, to be truthful I'M JUST LAZY!!!

!!!!

Receiving Oral: You have no problem being taken care of.

Giving Oral: You’re a hero.

69: You have a strong sense of justice.

So I'm a hero with a strong sense of justice that has no problem being taken care of. Sounds about right.

Giving Oral: You’re a hero.

Anal: If you’re the giver — You think you deserve all of the the best that life has to offer.
If you’re the receiver — you’re kind of intense.

HuMpThAnG said:

Cowgirl: On top — On the bottom — You like to see everything for yourself.

Spooning: You flourish when you feel secure.

What does it say about me when my wife begs for anal and I dont want to, but I do it anyway?

Doggy Style: You don't want the woman to see your manboobs and the double chin while having sex.

Cowgirl: Congrats. You're not dating an overweight chick.

Spooning: Both of you have a hangover and neither of you can be arsed to get up.

Giving Oral: You listened to too much Prince in the 1990s.

Anal: You know it should feel the same with a woman as it does with a man? Just sayin'.

Double Penetration: You've watched too much porn.

69: Just give up. It doesn't work as well as you'd like to think it does.

Missionary: You’re boring.

Serious said:

HuMpThAnG said:

69: You have a strong sense of justice.

I have a very strong sense of justice and I am no big fan of 69 , what does that say about me ?

I think 69 is something that works best if the man is quite a bit taller

Deadcake said:

Serious said:

I have a very strong sense of justice and I am no big fan of 69 , what does that say about me ?

I think 69 is something that works best if the man is quite a bit taller

As I am hardly ever attracted to tall men that won't work for me because I don't want him to be a lot taller .

But in my case I don't think it has anything to do with that anyway. It's just that giving and receiving both is so totally intense that both at the same time is a bit too much. I enjoy both of it seperately so that I can completely focus on how it feels for me and for him. But if I am the giver and after a while he insists on giving too I am not turning him down .

StonedImmaculate said:

What does it say about me when my wife begs for anal and I dont want to, but I do it anyway?

You're getting raped

robertlove said:

StonedImmaculate said:

What does it say about me when my wife begs for anal and I dont want to, but I do it anyway?

You're getting raped

!!!

novabrkr said:

Doggy Style: You don't want the woman to see your manboobs and the double chin while having sex.

Cowgirl: Congrats. You're not dating an overweight chick.

Spooning: Both of you have a hangover and neither of you can be arsed to get up.

Giving Oral: You listened to too much Prince in the 1990s.

Anal: You know it should feel the same with a woman as it does with a man? Just sayin'.

Double Penetration: You've watched too much porn.

69: Just give up. It doesn't work as well as you'd like to think it does.

Missionary: You’re boring.

^^ the pessismist's view... but quite accurate actually.

novabrkr said:

Doggy Style: You don't want the woman to see your manboobs and the double chin while having sex.

Cowgirl: Congrats. You're not dating an overweight chick.

Spooning: Both of you have a hangover and neither of you can be arsed to get up.

Giving Oral: You listened to too much Prince in the 1990s.

Anal: You know it should feel the same with a woman as it does with a man? Just sayin'.

Double Penetration: You've watched too much porn.

69: Just give up. It doesn't work as well as you'd like to think it does.

Missionary: You’re boring.

brilliant!

robertlove said:

StonedImmaculate said:

What does it say about me when my wife begs for anal and I dont want to, but I do it anyway?

You're getting raped

Why have I never thought of it like that?!?!

Next time, Im screaming RAPE!

StonedImmaculate said:

robertlove said:

You're getting raped

Why have I never thought of it like that?!?!

Next time, Im screaming RAPE!

Because we think you mean your wife is pitching and you are catching. That's very progressive of you.

^^^

Stop the fucking press!!

I'm always pitching, never receiving.

Guess that's why I never thought of it as rape.