One day, I woke up and started to feel very itchy.....

...so I went downstairs took some Benadryl and saw some Trojan condoms in my silver. Just then....

[Edited 3/13/12 17:20pm]

I looked up in the mirror and saw Jar Jar Binks, I had red spots everywhere

i decided to go back up stairs and ask the mans wife

[Edited 3/13/12 17:29pm]

for some calamine lotion, and some lotion for the man

and then it happened...

he touched me with tenderness

[Edited 3/13/12 17:33pm]

...then I turned around and saw....OMG...Eddie Murphy, wtf are you doing here? He responded...

missfee said:

...then I turned around and saw....OMG...Eddie Murphy, wtf are you doing here? He responded...

I'm here cause MY GIRL LIKES TO PARTY ALL THE TIME!

"let me see you put a microphone in yo butt"

then he all of a sudden got somber. I asked Eddie "what's wrong?"...he said he had a memory of a dear friend who was close to him. They did a video together in the early 90's. He said that he missed him a lot and that he was the one who got away. I asked "well how did that happen?" He said...

"I touched him very inappropriately until he stared at me with two huge eyse and yelled...

..are you the asshole that keeps stealing newspapers off my lawn???????????

"can you put a tiny truck in yo butt"

and then his gardner came by pulled into his driveway and said "when are you gonna pay me its been months?, i laughed quietly and looked at him and left. I jumped in my car went to the beach where all the fun is and thought im so happy im not itchy anymore maybe it was all that sex lastnight i need a shower.

jon1967 said:

and then his gardner came by pulled into his driveway and said "when are you gonna pay me its been months?, i laughed quietly and looked at him and left. I jumped in my car went to the beach where all the fun is and thought im so happy im not itchy anymore maybe it was all that sex lastnight i need a shower.

thankfully it started pouring rain outside so I just stood out there a few minutes and got soaked, problem solved. The next thing I had to do was get to the dollar store before it closed because....

the 19 day old donuts would be on sale and i couldn't miss the opportunity to...

attempt to destroy the entire human race with the help of...

aardvark15 said:

attempt to destroy the entire human race with the help of...

Robert Downey Jr who I just had wild sex with but then I heard a knock at the door and it was...

Beyonce, and then I killed myself.

smoothcriminal12 said:

Beyonce, and then I killed myself.

because I tripped over her 9 ft long extensions. Then, all of a sudden, I looked out the window and saw Papi Chulo/Nuyorican dude that I've been in a love/hate thing with and then...

He licked my face...

and then i hurled the now 20 day old donuts all over n thought of not rippin a big fart at the same time but ..

I did and ended up messing on myself. When I was cleaning up my mess, I saw Lady Gaga, butt naked with some dunkin donuts and thought to myself.

Then I found out... she slipped on that banana peel and ended up on Dick Van Dyke's dick. He told her "bitch yo' ass too damn old, get your dentures off of me" and kicked her out the house. As she walked down the side walk she heard....

so she whipped out her dollas bought one put it on and magically turned into the hottest woman on the planet but had flippers for feet so ..

she started drinking coca cola

then realized that she was about to miss the next subway so she tossed the can aside when a cop approached her to write a ticket for littering and he said....