JustErin said:

paintedlady said:

My guy has been separated with his wife for over 9 years now... been humping me for 3. He lives alone.

He TREATS me as is if he is actively cheating on his wife since he isn't ready to introduce me to his adult children who love their mom. I am OK with this... I am in no rush to settle down with him but yeah, separated is the same as married.

Only divorced equals single. Because technically, and legally she has claim to him and rights I do not have... next of kin and all that jazz.

Oh, I know only divorced means single. I meant do people really think that sleeping with someone that is separated is just as bad as sleeping with someone that is married but not separated?

Oh YES! Chile, my church buddies would see me as a adulteress and a whore. Just like Jezebel... and we all know Jezebel's fate.

In most circles its not cool but single women everywhere hump who they can, in the church especially.

paintedlady said:

JustErin said:

Oh, I know only divorced means single. I meant do people really think that sleeping with someone that is separated is just as bad as sleeping with someone that is married but not separated?

Oh YES! Chile, my church buddies would see me as a adulteress and a whore. Just like Jezebel... and we all know Jezebel's fate.

In most circles its not cool but single women everywhere hump who they can, in the church especially.

Oh my.

So it's those that are religious that take issue with it. I can live with that.

JustErin said:

paintedlady said:

My guy has been separated with his wife for over 9 years now... been humping me for 3. He lives alone.

He TREATS me as is if he is actively cheating on his wife since he isn't ready to introduce me to his adult children who love their mom. I am OK with this... I am in no rush to settle down with him but yeah, separated is the same as married.

Only divorced equals single. Because technically, and legally she has claim to him and rights I do not have... next of kin and all that jazz.

Oh, I know only divorced means single. I meant do people really think that sleeping with someone that is separated is just as bad as sleeping with someone that is married but not separated?

idk i guess it boils down 2 one's own morals

L4OATheOriginal said:

JustErin said:

Oh, I know only divorced means single. I meant do people really think that sleeping with someone that is separated is just as bad as sleeping with someone that is married but not separated?

idk i guess it boils down 2 one's own morals

Morals??

JustErin said:

paintedlady said:

Oh YES! Chile, my church buddies would see me as a adulteress and a whore. Just like Jezebel... and we all know Jezebel's fate.

In most circles its not cool but single women everywhere hump who they can, in the church especially.

Oh my.

So it's those that are religious that take issue with it. I can live with that.

Boston is extremely Puritanical. Catholic veins run deep in Kennedy country here, so yeah... your town cheats while my town passes judgement.

JustErin said:

L4OATheOriginal said:

idk i guess it boils down 2 one's own morals

Morals??

hush u hhehee

paintedlady said:

JustErin said:

Oh, I know only divorced means single. I meant do people really think that sleeping with someone that is separated is just as bad as sleeping with someone that is married but not separated?

Oh YES! Chile, my church buddies would see me as a adulteress and a whore. Just like Jezebel... and we all know Jezebel's fate.

In most circles its not cool but single women everywhere hump who they can, in the church especially.

I didn't know that.

I assume that "separated" means just THAT...each is off doing their own thing.

How can someone expect "fidelity" when they've either left or been left by their spouse???

JustErin said:

paintedlady said:

I do NOT agree with the people on this thread that say a person who sleeps with a married person is a "cheater".

A cheater is a person who is in a relationship and steps OUTSIDE that relationship by sleeping with someone else.

The person they cheat with is simply a homewrecker (male or female).

A homewrecker to me is usually seen as some deperate person who can't get their own man or woman and has to leach on someone else's lovelife.

Now... this is funny to me because of my current situation. I am seeing a "separated" man.

By my own standard I guess I can label myself that same shade of "desperate".

Do people really think that being involved with someone that is separated is the same as being with a married person?

The only two guys that I slept with that were in a marriage were separated - one eventually got divorced and the other was on a "break" when his wife took off with another guy and they eventually worked it out and are back together. I knew both of these dudes very well (one was my bf for 10 years) but I didn't want to be in a relationship with them. It was just sex.

Separated and living apart with no strings attached and intention to divorce: no.

Separated but still living together or even lving apart with an active emotional, physical, and financial relationship: stay faaaar faaar away.

JustErin said:

paintedlady said:

Oh YES! Chile, my church buddies would see me as a adulteress and a whore. Just like Jezebel... and we all know Jezebel's fate.

In most circles its not cool but single women everywhere hump who they can, in the church especially.

Oh my.

So it's those that are religious that take issue with it. I can live with that.

Some people in religious circles might take issue with it, but certainly not all. It's best not to generalize.

JustErin said:

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

The notion is implied by this entire thread.

And your flip-flopping just serves to make this thread a tad humourous. But hey...it's your party...

Bullshit, I've not flip flopped nor implied anything. If I have an opinion I straight up say it.

Perhaps your insecurity leads you to make ridiculous assumptions about others and that's actually more than a tad humorous...but hey, it's your life.

Well dang, you don't have to attack the lady personally, Erin . I too took your post as kind of an insult (#50) because of the adjectives you used:

"People need to remember that monogamy is nothing more than a choice and like many choices we make in our lives we sometimes falter, it doesn't make someone automatically a bad person and those that think it does can just live in their delusional, I make no mistakes, holier than thou bubbles.

People "cheat" and falter in so many other ways on a daily basis...but make one slip when it comes to monogamy and sex and for many all hell breaks loose, you're simply a horrible person.

In my opinion many people have an unhealthy, unrealistic view on sex."

JustErin said:

And where's the joke in what I posted?

Ottensen said:

BobGeorge909 said:

Ottensen said:

And where's the joke in what I posted?

I see it as... not being a joke, IS the joke

I can wait for Erin to speak for herself.

Ottensen said:

I laughed because I find the whole thing funny.

The claim that I was being insulting in my post and implying this and that yet Ottensen's posts including Don't hate just because I don't open my legs to married men or see myself and my Hello Kitty as too special to sleep with any Tom, Dick, or Harry to come along. is totally acceptable, not implying anything or insulting at all.

Sure, it's insulting and can totally appear to be in direct response to me (since it was quoted off quotes that were connected to my response), implying that this is what *I* do....but maybe it wasn't and that's why I stick to posting about what I actually see written in here instead of what I think is being implied because that only ends up saying more about me than it does the other person.

But so what? Even if that is her opinion of me, she can keep it because *I* (and those that really know me on here) know it's totally inaccurate and that's all that really matters.

I really don't care if someone's opinion is different than mine, nor am I interested in trying to change anyone's opinion...I'm simply stating mine, not freaking out on the opinion of others.

I just find it funny when people wag fingers at others when they themselves are doing what they accuse others of doing.

Ottensen, I can understand if you personally were insulted by the adjectives I used and will even apologize if you felt that I was speaking directly to you, but really, making a post to point out that what I said it just simply how *I* feel about it? Well, yes...obviously it's how I feel, that's why I said it. It's my opinion, just as yours is yours. I never said your opinion is wrong yet you told me that mine is.

JustErin said:

I laughed because I find the whole thing funny.

The claim that I was being insulting in my post and implying this and that yet Ottensen's posts including Don't hate just because I don't open my legs to married men or see myself and my Hello Kitty as too special to sleep with any Tom, Dick, or Harry to come along. is totally acceptable, not implying anything or insulting at all.

Sure, it's insulting and can totally appear to be in direct response to me (since it was quoted off quotes that were connected to my response), implying that this is what *I* do....but maybe it wasn't and that's why I stick to posting about what I actually see written in here instead of what I think is being implied because that only ends up saying more about me than it does the other person.

But so what? Even if that is her opinion of me, she can keep it because *I* (and those that really know me on here) know it's totally inaccurate and that's all that really matters.

I really don't care if someone's opinion is different than mine, nor am I interested in trying to change anyone's opinion...I'm simply stating mine, not freaking out on the opinion of others.

I just find it funny when people wag fingers at others when they themselves are doing what they accuse others of doing.

Ottensen, I can understand if you personally were insulted by the adjectives I used and will even apologize if you felt that I was speaking directly to you, but really, making a post to point out that what I said it just simply how *I* feel about it? Well, yes...obviously it's how I feel, that's why I said it. It's my opinion, just as yours is yours. I never said your opinion is wrong yet you told me that mine is.

Maybe it's time to think about changing your sig to "Whatever I typed above is my opinion, in case ya didn't realise" ?

JustErin said:

I laughed because I find the whole thing funny.

The claim that I was being insulting in my post and implying this and that yet Ottensen's posts including Don't hate just because I don't open my legs to married men or see myself and my Hello Kitty as too special to sleep with any Tom, Dick, or Harry to come along. is totally acceptable, not implying anything or insulting at all.

Sure, it's insulting and can totally appear to be in direct response to me (since it was quoted off quotes that were connected to my response), implying that this is what *I* do....but maybe it wasn't and that's why I stick to posting about what I actually see written in here instead of what I think is being implied because that only ends up saying more about me than it does the other person.

But so what? Even if that is her opinion of me, she can keep it because *I* (and those that really know me on here) know it's totally inaccurate and that's all that really matters.

I really don't care if someone's opinion is different than mine, nor am I interested in trying to change anyone's opinion...I'm simply stating mine, not freaking out on the opinion of others.

I just find it funny when people wag fingers at others when they themselves are doing what they accuse others of doing.

Ottensen, I can understand if you personally were insulted by the adjectives I used and will even apologize if you felt that I was speaking directly to you, but really, making a post to point out that what I said it just simply how *I* feel about it? Well, yes...obviously it's how I feel, that's why I said it. It's my opinion, just as yours is yours. I never said your opinion is wrong yet you told me that mine is.

I'm just here chilling out and happily carrying the pro-monogamy banner and I felt that your (and a couple of other) comments were saying that I (or others like me) was wrong for thinking the way that I do.

When you said that you didn't infer that, I simply used your post as a reference to show why I felt that way. As for my Hello Kitty comment, that really is my stance on casual sex, regardless of what other people choose to do, whether it's you or the whole board. It wasn't meant to single you out in particular rather than reinforce that I'm not going to be ashamed, or allow myself to be told I'm delusional or fighting against something inside myself for not embracing casual sex, extra-marital sex/affairs, etc. And I even tried to differentiate where I draw the line with a person being married (eg. separated), and so on to show that yes, I believe that there can be exceptions to how people can come together in the boudoir.

Actually you don't have to apologize, because your response above was fair enough . I just pushed for a reply because you know how things get here when people start interjecting, then the discussion gets off course, the threads get heated, we lose total sight of the topic then the next thing you know we're all going down in flames and so on, and so on, and so on. We will occasionally be on complete opposite sides of the fence on certain issues, and that's okay. But yes, I can be prickly about certain language because I'm wary about generalizing or labeling any singular group of people; I think there will always be degrees or variances to any person's situation that got them to where they are in their set of principles and beliefs, and that in this case, the group not embracing cheating/affairs wasn't getting a fair shake. Does that make sense ? I may be a Church Bunny...okay, albeit a cursing, drinking Church Bunny, but I'm not entirely unreasonable

...since we're on the subject...anyone checked this site out?

CHEATERVILLE.COM

Any cheaters out there that you'd like to expose???

there was a time in the '80s

when i knew at least a hunit women

AND THEY ALL CHEATED

then came the big scare and i

chose to drop 'em all

i've been cheated on, but i've never cheated. don't think i would, since, if i were really with someone i'm guessing i wouldn't want anyone else. usually not into casual flings