Actual Lawsuits


A Canadian man is suing a New York coffee shop after suffering what he
calls damage to his manhood. His penis was pinched between the toilet
seat and bowl when he reached forward for toilet paper. He is asking
for $1 million to compensate for his "dire and permanent" injuries. His
wife is also suing for $500,000, claiming her husband cannot perform his
marital duties.



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Dorothy Johnson sued Kenmore Inc. for the death of her dog. After
washing the poodle, she placed it in her Kenmore microwave, "just a few
minutes, on low," to dry it off. The case was dismissed.



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A 10-year-old boy, Philip Garner, sued his landlord for $1 million.
Young Garner claimed he suffered great distress after the toilet in his
Bronx apartment exploded.



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A convict in Colorado sued for early release because, he said, "Everyone
knows a con only serves about 3 years of a 10-year sentence."



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An Indiana inmate sued because he was not given Rogaine to treat his
baldness.



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Two surfers went to court after one allegedly stole the other surfer's
wave. The case was dismissed after court officials found it impossible
to put a monetary value on the wave.



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Ed O'Rourke of Florida filed a suit against several bars, asserting that
they should not have served him alcohol. He is asking for compensation
for injuries he suffered when he climbed an electrical transformer in
his drunken state and received a 13,000-volt shock.



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A phone-sex operator in Florida won a settlement after she filed for
worker's compensation, saying she had suffered repetitive-motion
injuries in both hands. The repetitive motion was the result of using
her hands to give herself as many as seven orgasms a day while talking
to clients.



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A Pennsylvania woman is suing a pharmacy because she bought a
contraceptive jelly from them and got pregnant anyway. She failed to
read the directions and ate the jelly on toast.



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A lawsuit was settled out of court between a teen and a company that
sold the nets used for basketball hoops. The boy lost two teeth when
they got caught in the net while he was attempting to slam-dunk a ball.
The settlement was for $50,000.



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Chris Morris brought a suit against the state of Michigan for $1
million. Morris claims he caught a cold in the rotunda (a large, round
room) of the state capitol building. He was there to observe an art
exhibition.



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NBC's "Tonight Show" was sued by a Cincinnati, Ohio man for injuries he
sustained during the pre-show. He was injured when a free T-shirt, shot
into the crowd with an air gun, struck him in the eye.



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Six nurses who worked at a facility for the disabled were fired after
refusing to comply with new countywide rules that required them to give
patients sexual assistance, such as helping them with masturbation or
putting on a condom. The nurses have filed a lawsuit.



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A New York prison inmate is filing a suit for $8 million against the
state after he accidentally shot himself with a gun he illegally
smuggled into the penitentiary. The inmate says that better security
would have prevented him from getting the weapon inside.



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A restaurant in Philadelphia was sued after Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, slipped and broke her coccyx on a beverage that had been
spilled on the floor. She was awarded $113,500. Not bad, considering she
had thrown the drink at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an
argument.



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An Arizona woman, Michele Nations, was walking through a park when she
stumbled on a gopher hole, tripped, and sprained her ankle. She sued the
city for failing to post a warning that such hazards might exist in the
park. She won $450,000.



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A West Virginia woman won more than $2 million after she hurt her back
opening a pickle jar while at work.



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Bernie Carson is suing PT's Show Club (a strip club) for $200,000.
Carson claims that one of the strippers caused him "emotional distress,
mental anguish, and indignity" when she bashed her breasts against his
head. Carson also claimed to have been "bruised, confused, lacerated and
made sore." The stripper's breasts are rumored to weigh up to 40 pounds
each.



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Carl Truman, 19, won $74,000 and medical expenses after he sued the
neighbor who ran over his hand. His neighbor claimed that he did not
realize Truman was stealing his hubcaps at the time.



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A woman is suing a guide-dog school for $150,000 after a blind man
allegedly stepped on her foot. A dog trained at the school was leading
the man at the time.



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A man who had purchased a BMW and found that some of the car had been
repainted to cover acid-rain damage sued and won $3 million in damages.
The garage where the car was purchased appealed the ruling, and the
damage award was cut in half, to $1.5 million.



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Kara Walton sued a nightclub after she fell out of a bathroom window and
had her two front teeth knocked out. She won $12,000 plus dental
expenses. She fell from the window, which she was using to sneak into
the club to avoid the $3.50 cover charge.

Note: Trial lawyers are in bed with the Democratic party.

alas. those cases are out there. like, one where the guy used his toe to clear away a clump of grass which had accumulated in the housing of the blades of the mower - but he didn't turn the lawnmower OFF first. cut half his foot off and he sued the lawnmower manufacturer. we represented the insurance company and it was cheaper to pay a settlement sum than to litigate so we basically bought him off.

or how about the one where a woman used her husband's boat winch for the first time, without reading the user manual or knowing how it worked, and after her husband and son had removed the protective metal safety cover from the gears of the winch. naturally, her hand got caught and kinda mangled in the gears. again, it was cheaper to settle the case than to defend it in court so the insurance company paid up.

i really think the courts should require mandatory arbitration before a case can be filed in district court. that would eliminate a LOT of stupid lawsuits.

IceNine said:

This one seems fair, surely?

Greed. Everybody is following the people on top. Get it anyway you can, and if you are sucessful your past will be forgotten(or not held against you).





Standing at the top edit
[This message was edited Tue Feb 25 16:03:58 PST 2003 by SuperC]

mcmeekle said:

I agree... that one is fair in my estimation.

IceNine said:

You don't have the address of the facility do you? You know, just for future reference.

At least three of these lawsuits appear to be made-up. See:

http://www.snopes.com/leg...wsuits.asp

BTW, it's important to keep in mind that any idiot can file a lawsuit claiming anything. The Clerk's office doesn't look at the merits of the case--all they care about is whether you've got all the necessary paperwork and the filing fee.

However, filing a frivilous lawsuit can result in sanctions being imposed against the plaintiff and/or the attorney. For example, I've read cases where people have been fined for frivolous lawsuits making previously-rejected legal arguments that there is no need to pay federal income tax.

[Matt's standard disclaimer: While I am licensed to practice law in Indiana, this post is for discussion purposes only, is not legal advice, and creates no attorney-client relationship.]