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Thread started 02/23/03 5:41pm

2the9s

Do the Write Thing: Metaphors From Student Essays

A friend sent me this. (Okay it was Lleena heh heh)

Metaphors from Student Essays

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.

3. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

4. McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.

5. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

6. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre

7. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

8. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

9. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

10. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

11. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

13. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

14. The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

15. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

16. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

17. The plan was simple, like my mate Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

18. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for while.

19. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.

20. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

21. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

22. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

24. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

25. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

26. It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.

27. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.

28. She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.

29. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.

30. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

31. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

32. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.


Let the hilarity begin! biggrin




edit like a rose in bloom
[This message was edited Sun Feb 23 21:24:40 PST 2003 by 2the9s]
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Reply #1 posted 02/23/03 5:42pm

MrBliss

your legs are like sticks...only more meaty and they bend in the middle
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Reply #2 posted 02/23/03 5:42pm

Lleena

I think they're funny! lol Thanks for posting it!
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Reply #3 posted 02/23/03 5:43pm

2the9s

MrBliss said:

your legs are like sticks...only more meaty and they bend in the middle


I remember that one! lol
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Reply #4 posted 02/23/03 5:48pm

2the9s

2the9s said:

16. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.



LMAO! lol

C'mon people! Funny metaphors!
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Reply #5 posted 02/23/03 5:48pm

Moonbeam

These are pricelss! 12,20 and 30 are my favorites, and number 29 is my description of the song "Mellow." nana CalhounSq.
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Reply #6 posted 02/23/03 5:53pm

Lleena

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.

lol
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Reply #7 posted 02/23/03 5:55pm

MrBliss

physically this person is the spitting image of Ali...apart from the fact that they're a 3 ft tall white woman
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Reply #8 posted 02/23/03 5:58pm

SexLovely

avatar

Chris ordered the Super Chocolate Ice-Cream Dollop Surprise that was bigger than King Kong's first dump of the day...but without the smell or the mysterious peanut lookin lumps in it.
"...because no-one gets there alone." - "...I like the floor. It's the only thing that seems real."
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Reply #9 posted 02/23/03 5:59pm

INSATIABLE

avatar

3. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
WTF?! lol

headbang

.
Oh shit, my hat done fell off
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Reply #10 posted 02/23/03 6:00pm

Lleena

I think we should come up with some of our own!

MrBliss woot!
Sexlovely woot!
[This message was edited Sun Feb 23 18:01:11 PST 2003 by Lleena]
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Reply #11 posted 02/23/03 6:02pm

2the9s

Lleena said:

I think we should come up with some of our own!


That idea is as good as a thread created my MrBliss after he has watched Duck Tales. biggrin
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Reply #12 posted 02/23/03 6:09pm

2the9s

Lleena is as cool as a dress made out of dead wildlife such as swans and then draped over the shoulders of a quirky Icelandic pop singer. smile
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Reply #13 posted 02/23/03 6:10pm

MrBliss

innocent
[This message was edited Sun Feb 23 18:11:33 PST 2003 by MrBliss]
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Reply #14 posted 02/23/03 6:12pm

bkw

avatar

2the9s said:

13. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.


Fucking hilarious! lol

Actually, they are all great. biggrin
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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Reply #15 posted 02/23/03 6:13pm

Lleena

The thread kept rising to the top like 2the9s burping after he had drank a gallon of pepsi.
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Reply #16 posted 02/23/03 6:14pm

bkw

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And then sinking to the bottom of the toilet like a turd tied to a brick. biggrin
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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Reply #17 posted 02/23/03 6:19pm

2the9s

bkw works hard, like a horse who sits on his ass all day in front of the computer screen. biggrin
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Reply #18 posted 02/23/03 6:19pm

MrBliss

as she walked, her bottom wiggled in much the same way as a similarly shaped woman's bottom would wiggle if she was walking in the same fashion
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Reply #19 posted 02/23/03 6:20pm

bkw

avatar

MrBliss said:

as she walked, her bottom wiggled in much the same way as a similarly shaped woman's bottom would wiggle if she was walking in the same fashion

LMFAO!! lol
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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Reply #20 posted 02/23/03 6:21pm

mcmeekle

She crossed the room as graceful as a swan, apart from the swimming bit.
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Reply #21 posted 02/23/03 6:24pm

bkw

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He fell to the ground like a one legged man at an arse kicking party.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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Reply #22 posted 02/23/03 6:24pm

Moonbeam

2the9s is evil, like a Satanist who converted to Christianity and then back to Satanism again. evil

(They're supposed to be bad, right?)
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Reply #23 posted 02/23/03 6:26pm

bkw

avatar

Moonbeam said:

2the9s is evil, like a Satanist who converted to Christianity and then back to Satanism again. evil

(They're supposed to be bad, right?)

lol

I like it!
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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Reply #24 posted 02/23/03 6:28pm

2the9s

Moonbeam's metaphors are as bad as a haiku by an Australian woman! lol
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Reply #25 posted 02/23/03 6:30pm

Lleena

He swam across like a fish with arms.
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Reply #26 posted 02/23/03 6:32pm

Moonbeam

2the9s is so fat that when he wears red, little kids run up to him yelling "Kool Aid!"
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Reply #27 posted 02/23/03 6:36pm

althom

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2the9s said:


17. The plan was simple, like my mate Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

I like Phil lol
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Reply #28 posted 02/23/03 6:40pm

MrBliss

she wandered aimlessly like a soul without direction..the only thing that stopped her from getting lost was the fact that she knew exactly where she was going
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Reply #29 posted 02/23/03 7:01pm

SexLovely

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As the pub goers became more aggressive and the insults, punches and tables were flying faster than a suicide bomber's head after detonating 10lbs of C4, Chris decided it was time 2 leave briskly and discreetly...much in the same way as U would if U had two firmly toned pair of legs and were being chased by a pack of horny male Great Danes in heat and after using your pants as a temporary latrine...
"...because no-one gets there alone." - "...I like the floor. It's the only thing that seems real."
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