excited said:

we've been married a looong time, he's submissive, we rarely argue, he will go to the ends of the earth, he always lets me get the last word, he never sulks & lets me think i'm in charge. very occasionally i am wrong get put in my place, when it matters he is totally dominent. he's so perfect, these men do exist.

Thank God Almighty that you and Lady Casanova arrived

I was getting scared in here!

There is an article on the net titled something like "8 things Submissive men want in a relationship" and mutual respect is one of them.

It is one thing to piss on a man because he likes it, quite another to be pissy all the time and think that that is O.K. They don't want to be a 24 hour doormat.

In many ways they are VERY masculine and loyal.

LadyCasanova said:

Deadflow3r said:

I just love a man who likes to have their face ridden until I have had enough.

A man willing to put my needs before his own.

I man who LOVES it when I take control and tell him exactly what I want.

Deadflow3r said:

First let me say it takes a lot of courage for a submissive man to admit he is such.

Most of the time he is bigger and stronger than the woman he submits to so he is doing it willingly vs being forced to "serve".

I am not putting down dominate men or submissive women.

That is sooooo NOT what this thread is about.

I just love a man who likes to have their face ridden until I have had enough.

A man willing to put my needs before his own.

I man who LOVES it when I take control and tell him exactly what I want.

Christianity and other religions make it seem as if ALL MEN are meant to be dominant and all women are meant to be submissive.

I have always attracted submissive men and they have urged me to unleash my more dominant self and assured me that they loved it. It took me a while to get it; but I am happy that I finally did!

That sounds pretty damn great to me.

Why is everyone talking as if a man has to be submissive in everything else in life if he's submissive in bed? That is not the case.

Plus, what is all this life talk anyway...I though this thread was about submssive men in bed, not in life?!

KidaDynamite said:

Deadflow3r said:

First let me say it takes a lot of courage for a submissive man to admit he is such.

Most of the time he is bigger and stronger than the woman he submits to so he is doing it willingly vs being forced to "serve".

I am not putting down dominate men or submissive women.

That is sooooo NOT what this thread is about.

I just love a man who likes to have their face ridden until I have had enough.

A man willing to put my needs before his own.

I man who LOVES it when I take control and tell him exactly what I want.

Christianity and other religions make it seem as if ALL MEN are meant to be dominant and all women are meant to be submissive.

I have always attracted submissive men and they have urged me to unleash my more dominant self and assured me that they loved it. It took me a while to get it; but I am happy that I finally did!

That sounds pretty damn great to me.

Why is everyone talking as if a man has to be submissive in everything else in life if he's submissive in bed? That is not the case.

Plus, what is all this life talk anyway...I though this thread was about submssive men in bed, not in life?!

I think many people think submissive in bed = 24 hour doormat.

JustErin admits that she is a sub in bed but she certainly does not strike me as a 24 hour doormat!

Deadflow3r said:

KidaDynamite said:

That sounds pretty damn great to me.

Why is everyone talking as if a man has to be submissive in everything else in life if he's submissive in bed? That is not the case.

Plus, what is all this life talk anyway...I though this thread was about submssive men in bed, not in life?!

I think many people think submissive in bed = 24 hour doormat.

JustErin admits that she is a sub in bed but she certainly does not strike me as a 24 hour doormat!

^^ Exactly!

I like a man that's willing to be both a Sub and Dom. A man that's going to take control somehow. Whether it's him being agressive; throwing me up against walls, have me hanging off of the side of the bed drooling or him being gentle; slow grinding, sensual breathing, run your fingers through my hair type of stuff but when it's time for him to lay back and let me take over, I want to do just that with him being happy to let me do just that.

KidaDynamite said:

Deadflow3r said:

I think many people think submissive in bed = 24 hour doormat.

JustErin admits that she is a sub in bed but she certainly does not strike me as a 24 hour doormat!

^^ Exactly!

I like a man that's willing to be both a Sub and Dom. A man that's going to take control somehow. Whether it's him being agressive; throwing me up against walls, have me hanging off of the side of the bed drooling or him being gentle; slow grinding, sensual breathing, run your fingers through my hair type of stuff but when it's time for him to lay back and let me take over, I want to do just that with him being happy to let me do just that.

This man I know has made it clear that he likes it when I demand that he

grind me hard

face fuck me

etc.

lololol

So he is moer than happy to rough things up, as long as it Pleases me, lol

We have yet to meet but have had hours of steamy conversation on the internet

Deadflow3r said:

KidaDynamite said:

^^ Exactly!

I like a man that's willing to be both a Sub and Dom. A man that's going to take control somehow. Whether it's him being agressive; throwing me up against walls, have me hanging off of the side of the bed drooling or him being gentle; slow grinding, sensual breathing, run your fingers through my hair type of stuff but when it's time for him to lay back and let me take over, I want to do just that with him being happy to let me do just that.

This man I know has made it clear that he likes it when I demand that he

grind me hard

face fuck me

etc.

lololol

So he is moer than happy to rough things up, as long as it Pleases me, lol

We have yet to meet but have had hours of steamy conversation on the internet

And there is nothing at all wrong with that.

Any man who allows a woman to walk all over him is a spineless coward.

Pr1nceQuik said:

That goes the other way around too IMO. There has to be some kind of balance in a relationship born of mutual respect.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure the OP means in the bedroom.

LadyCasanova said:

I’m kinda extreme. I either want a totally dom man who I have to be submissive

for, or a submissive man who knows I run shit and wouldn’t have it any other way. Generally,

I only tend to be in LTR’s with submissive men, as I am naturally dominant and can only play

the submissive game for a while, and generally only in the sack.

I think people get “submissive” confused with “weak.” I’ve dated plenty of submissive men who

are dominant in other spheres (their family, work, athletics etc). Just because he’s on his hands

and knees in my bedroom after hours, doesn’t mean he won’t rip your throat out if you break into our house.

But I like a man who is submissive in our relationship in general. You can be the boss

everywhere else, and we can even pretend in public if that’s what you need to protect

your masculinity, but we both know who the King is. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about

your needs or your desires, on the contrary, my ass will take out anyone who gets in my mans

way. The bills are paid baby, don’t sweat it. I already had the oil changed, dinner reservations

have been made, and your hair appointment is at 3pm, come sit on my lap and tell me how good

of a boy you’ve been.

I’ll do all that and spank you and cum in your mouth and be up and in my suit ready for work

in the morning. I don’t want a slave, but if you want to be my house bitch you don’t even have to work.

I am flexible but I love it when a man realizes how powerful I am and his eyes get big, his

mouth waters, and his dick starts to get hard.

[Edited 2/18/12 12:07pm]

Sounds interesting.

And I imagine that you might be quite dangerous to someone who might really love you and open their heart for you. As dangerous and self-destructive as all this might be, I like it and find it tempting, somehow.

As long as I don't have to play the submissive part or as long as you don't act in a certain way for the sake of being dominant (because I hate play-acting and drama and [pseudo-emotional] shit like that), I might come over some day and stay at yours for a while and be your "house-bitch".

Still, I'm sure we'd probably fight all the time if we were to spend a longer period of time together, because we're both good at thinking, putting our thoughts into words and convincing people. In fact, I once said, the woman that makes me change my mind or convinces me of her opinion is the woman I will for ever look up to. As long as it's all based on reason and good intentions. But if you're trying to change my mind just to be the "dominant one" and expecting me to accept and agree just so that I am the "submissive one", I will simply come all over your face once more, laugh at you, pick up my stuff and leave.

Okay?

Dave1992 said:

LadyCasanova said:

I’m kinda extreme. I either want a totally dom man who I have to be submissive

for, or a submissive man who knows I run shit and wouldn’t have it any other way. Generally,

I only tend to be in LTR’s with submissive men, as I am naturally dominant and can only play

the submissive game for a while, and generally only in the sack.

I think people get “submissive” confused with “weak.” I’ve dated plenty of submissive men who

are dominant in other spheres (their family, work, athletics etc). Just because he’s on his hands

and knees in my bedroom after hours, doesn’t mean he won’t rip your throat out if you break into our house.

But I like a man who is submissive in our relationship in general. You can be the boss

everywhere else, and we can even pretend in public if that’s what you need to protect

your masculinity, but we both know who the King is. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about

your needs or your desires, on the contrary, my ass will take out anyone who gets in my mans

way. The bills are paid baby, don’t sweat it. I already had the oil changed, dinner reservations

have been made, and your hair appointment is at 3pm, come sit on my lap and tell me how good

of a boy you’ve been.

I’ll do all that and spank you and cum in your mouth and be up and in my suit ready for work

in the morning. I don’t want a slave, but if you want to be my house bitch you don’t even have to work.

I am flexible but I love it when a man realizes how powerful I am and his eyes get big, his

mouth waters, and his dick starts to get hard.

Sounds interesting.

And I imagine that you might be quite dangerous to someone who might really love you and open their heart for you. As dangerous and self-destructive as all this might be, I like it and find it tempting, somehow.

As long as I don't have to play the submissive part or as long as you don't act in a certain way for the sake of being dominant (because I hate play-acting and drama and [pseudo-emotional] shit like that), I might come over some day and stay at yours for a while and be your "house-bitch".

Still, I'm sure we'd probably fight all the time if we were to spend a longer period of time together, because we're both good at thinking, putting our thoughts into words and convincing people. In fact, I once said, the woman that makes me change my mind or convinces me of her opinion is the woman I will for ever look up to. As long as it's all based on reason and good intentions. But if you're trying to change my mind just to be the "dominant one" and expecting me to accept and agree just so that I am the "submissive one", I will simply come all over your face once more, laugh at you, pick up my stuff and leave.

Okay?

Dude...she would tear you apart and leave you crying on the floor in the fetal position.

PurpleJedi said:

Dave1992 said:

Sounds interesting.

And I imagine that you might be quite dangerous to someone who might really love you and open their heart for you. As dangerous and self-destructive as all this might be, I like it and find it tempting, somehow.

As long as I don't have to play the submissive part or as long as you don't act in a certain way for the sake of being dominant (because I hate play-acting and drama and [pseudo-emotional] shit like that), I might come over some day and stay at yours for a while and be your "house-bitch".

Still, I'm sure we'd probably fight all the time if we were to spend a longer period of time together, because we're both good at thinking, putting our thoughts into words and convincing people. In fact, I once said, the woman that makes me change my mind or convinces me of her opinion is the woman I will for ever look up to. As long as it's all based on reason and good intentions. But if you're trying to change my mind just to be the "dominant one" and expecting me to accept and agree just so that I am the "submissive one", I will simply come all over your face once more, laugh at you, pick up my stuff and leave.

Okay?

Dude...she would tear you apart and leave you crying on the floor in the fetal position.

I'd love to see her try!

Dave1992 said:

Sounds interesting.

And I imagine that you might be quite dangerous to someone who might really love you and open their heart for you. As dangerous and self-destructive as all this might be, I like it and find it tempting, somehow.

As long as I don't have to play the submissive part or as long as you don't act in a certain way for the sake of being dominant (because I hate play-acting and drama and [pseudo-emotional] shit like that), I might come over some day and stay at yours for a while and be your "house-bitch".

Still, I'm sure we'd probably fight all the time if we were to spend a longer period of time together, because we're both good at thinking, putting our thoughts into words and convincing people. In fact, I once said, the woman that makes me change my mind or convinces me of her opinion is the woman I will for ever look up to. As long as it's all based on reason and good intentions. But if you're trying to change my mind just to be the "dominant one" and expecting me to accept and agree just so that I am the "submissive one", I will simply come all over your face once more, laugh at you, pick up my stuff and leave.

Okay?

Am I dangerous? Yes, but that is a part of the thrill for some people.

To be honest, I’m never looking to destroy my sub. I’m not heartless, I just know what I

want and I’m not afraid to demand the best, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t, or am not

willing, to love you. If you open your heart to me and then lie and cheat and double cross

me, than yes, I will rip your heart from your chest cavity, grind it under my spiked heel, and

have your replacement scrubbing it off the tile before your friends can shed a tear over

your departure. I don’t waste time hating people, but I don’t mind scheduling some torture

for someone who did me wrong.

I’ll know if you’re just playing a game, because if it doesn’t come natural, or you don’t like it, it will

come through. I don’t just take any lover, I have to feel connected to you somehow, and because I am

so dom, I am really in tune with my partners emotions/energy/body movements etc because at the end

of the day I want you to be as happy as I am, and I work hard at keeping communication open to make sure

that both of our needs are being met. I don’t pretend, I keep the games for the bedroom, and I don’t

fake it…if you don’t like what I have to offer you are always free to go, I won’t take it personally.

Fighting is what happens when 2 individuals can’t handle a proper discussion. I refuse to “fight” with anyone

I love or respect. Might we have some seriously heated discussions? Sure, and guess what? That can be

extremely arousing and sexy; I wouldn’t have it any other way. But I will not allow it to get to the name calling,

fit throwing, yelling level; I absolutely refuse. You will finish your fight with yourself because I will have

excused myself and gone to another part of the house to do something productive.

Bottom doesn’t mean you’re not an equal in the conversation; I honor intelligence and am always willing to

hear what my partner has to say. I won’t spend time trying to “change your mind.” Your mind is your own,

how it grows and develops is up to you. However, I will feel free to share my thoughts and ideas regardless

of if you like them, agree with them etc.

It really comes down to care at the end of it all. If we care for each other and respect each other the partnership

can last for a very long time.

Disrespect me, lie to me, use me…your gone. I will not shed a tear over you and my forgiveness level

on those things are pretty low because I am such a flexible person that you can usually get what you

want/desire by just discussing the details with me, keeping me informed.

Dave1992 said:

PurpleJedi said:

Dude...she would tear you apart and leave you crying on the floor in the fetal position.

I'd love to see her try!

: Why do you say that?

Dave: I wouldn't try, because I'm not about that.

I was in a relationship for about a month with someone that was a dominatrix. I don't know if she met her "slaves" during the time when we were seeing each other. I let her push me around, pull my hair, twist my nipples, scratch my back and that sort of stuff. It was just okay for a while, but got a bit too uncomfortable as a form of prolonged foreplay. I have to admit that I had trouble staying turned on until it would be time to actually have sex with her (I had trouble having an orgasm with her). I suppose it could have been just a natural defense reaction after being subjected to physical pain.

I liked her a lot as a person and we had a lot of fun together, but I was better off just walking out from it. I got the impression that her biggest turn on was duct-taping guys, but I never wanted to get into that.

novabrkr said:

I was in a relationship for about a month with someone that was a dominatrix. I don't know if she met her "slaves" during the time when we were seeing each other. I let her push me around, pull my hair, twist my nipples, scratch my back and that sort of stuff. It was just okay for a while, but got a bit too uncomfortable as a form of prolonged foreplay. I have to admit that I had trouble staying turned on until it would be time to actually have sex with her (I had trouble having an orgasm with her). I suppose it could have been just a natural defense reaction after being subjected to physical pain.

I liked her a lot as a person and we had a lot of fun together, but I was better off just walking out from it. I got the impression that her biggest turn on was duct-taping guys, but I never wanted to get into that.

I don't know why but I actually laughed while reading this.

LadyCasanova said:

: Why do you say that?

Because...if I know you at least a little...he's not gonna cum all over your face and walk away laughing.

PurpleJedi said:

LadyCasanova said:

: Why do you say that?

Because...if I know you at least a little...he's not gonna cum all over your face and walk away laughing.

Yea, that line was a little too much .

Anyhow, I missed you...happy to see you on this thread

LadyCasanova said:

PurpleJedi said:

Because...if I know you at least a little...he's not gonna cum all over your face and walk away laughing.

Yea, that line was a little too much .

Anyhow, I missed you...happy to see you on this thread

That sounds ominous...

KidaDynamite said:

Deadflow3r said:

I think many people think submissive in bed = 24 hour doormat.

JustErin admits that she is a sub in bed but she certainly does not strike me as a 24 hour doormat!

^^ Exactly!

I like a man that's willing to be both a Sub and Dom. A man that's going to take control somehow. Whether it's him being agressive; throwing me up against walls, have me hanging off of the side of the bed drooling or him being gentle; slow grinding, sensual breathing, run your fingers through my hair type of stuff but when it's time for him to lay back and let me take over, I want to do just that with him being happy to let me do just that.

PurpleJedi said:

LadyCasanova said:

Yea, that line was a little too much .

Anyhow, I missed you...happy to see you on this thread

That sounds ominous...

Whatever gets you off...

LadyCasanova said:

PurpleJedi said:

That sounds ominous...

Whatever gets you off...

kewlschool said:

KidaDynamite said:

^^ Exactly!

I like a man that's willing to be both a Sub and Dom. A man that's going to take control somehow. Whether it's him being agressive; throwing me up against walls, have me hanging off of the side of the bed drooling or him being gentle; slow grinding, sensual breathing, run your fingers through my hair type of stuff but when it's time for him to lay back and let me take over, I want to do just that with him being happy to let me do just that.

Adisa said:

novabrkr said:

I was in a relationship for about a month with someone that was a dominatrix. I don't know if she met her "slaves" during the time when we were seeing each other. I let her push me around, pull my hair, twist my nipples, scratch my back and that sort of stuff. It was just okay for a while, but got a bit too uncomfortable as a form of prolonged foreplay. I have to admit that I had trouble staying turned on until it would be time to actually have sex with her (I had trouble having an orgasm with her). I suppose it could have been just a natural defense reaction after being subjected to physical pain.

I liked her a lot as a person and we had a lot of fun together, but I was better off just walking out from it. I got the impression that her biggest turn on was duct-taping guys, but I never wanted to get into that.

I don't know why but I actually laughed while reading this.

That's okay. I joke about it to people all the time. It's like a from a comedy film: you ask someone you think is hot on a date and she turns out to be into S&M.

LadyCasanova said:

PurpleJedi said:

Because...if I know you at least a little...he's not gonna cum all over your face and walk away laughing.

Yea, that line was a little too much .

Anyhow, I missed you...happy to see you on this thread

I was using a tangible image to represent an emotion, quality and idea, a metaphor.

But that still doesn't mean I wouldn't come all over your face, honey.

LadyCasanova said:

Dave1992 said:

Sounds interesting.

And I imagine that you might be quite dangerous to someone who might really love you and open their heart for you. As dangerous and self-destructive as all this might be, I like it and find it tempting, somehow.

As long as I don't have to play the submissive part or as long as you don't act in a certain way for the sake of being dominant (because I hate play-acting and drama and [pseudo-emotional] shit like that), I might come over some day and stay at yours for a while and be your "house-bitch".

Still, I'm sure we'd probably fight all the time if we were to spend a longer period of time together, because we're both good at thinking, putting our thoughts into words and convincing people. In fact, I once said, the woman that makes me change my mind or convinces me of her opinion is the woman I will for ever look up to. As long as it's all based on reason and good intentions. But if you're trying to change my mind just to be the "dominant one" and expecting me to accept and agree just so that I am the "submissive one", I will simply come all over your face once more, laugh at you, pick up my stuff and leave.

Okay?

Am I dangerous? Yes, but that is a part of the thrill for some people.

To be honest, I’m never looking to destroy my sub. I’m not heartless, I just know what I

want and I’m not afraid to demand the best, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t, or am not

willing, to love you. If you open your heart to me and then lie and cheat and double cross

me, than yes, I will rip your heart from your chest cavity, grind it under my spiked heel, and

have your replacement scrubbing it off the tile before your friends can shed a tear over

your departure. I don’t waste time hating people, but I don’t mind scheduling some torture

for someone who did me wrong.

I’ll know if you’re just playing a game, because if it doesn’t come natural, or you don’t like it, it will

come through. I don’t just take any lover, I have to feel connected to you somehow, and because I am

so dom, I am really in tune with my partners emotions/energy/body movements etc because at the end

of the day I want you to be as happy as I am, and I work hard at keeping communication open to make sure

that both of our needs are being met. I don’t pretend, I keep the games for the bedroom, and I don’t

fake it…if you don’t like what I have to offer you are always free to go, I won’t take it personally.

Fighting is what happens when 2 individuals can’t handle a proper discussion. I refuse to “fight” with anyone

I love or respect. Might we have some seriously heated discussions? Sure, and guess what? That can be

extremely arousing and sexy; I wouldn’t have it any other way. But I will not allow it to get to the name calling,

fit throwing, yelling level; I absolutely refuse. You will finish your fight with yourself because I will have

excused myself and gone to another part of the house to do something productive.

Bottom doesn’t mean you’re not an equal in the conversation; I honor intelligence and am always willing to

hear what my partner has to say. I won’t spend time trying to “change your mind.” Your mind is your own,

how it grows and develops is up to you. However, I will feel free to share my thoughts and ideas regardless

of if you like them, agree with them etc.

It really comes down to care at the end of it all. If we care for each other and respect each other the partnership

can last for a very long time.

Disrespect me, lie to me, use me…your gone. I will not shed a tear over you and my forgiveness level

on those things are pretty low because I am such a flexible person that you can usually get what you

want/desire by just discussing the details with me, keeping me informed.

.

Adisa said:

novabrkr said:

I was in a relationship for about a month with someone that was a dominatrix. I don't know if she met her "slaves" during the time when we were seeing each other. I let her push me around, pull my hair, twist my nipples, scratch my back and that sort of stuff. It was just okay for a while, but got a bit too uncomfortable as a form of prolonged foreplay. I have to admit that I had trouble staying turned on until it would be time to actually have sex with her (I had trouble having an orgasm with her). I suppose it could have been just a natural defense reaction after being subjected to physical pain.

I liked her a lot as a person and we had a lot of fun together, but I was better off just walking out from it. I got the impression that her biggest turn on was duct-taping guys, but I never wanted to get into that.

I don't know why but I actually laughed while reading this.

The weird thing about humanity is its endless differences. Not alll dominants are into the same things. It might have been better if she found out what u were into before she subjected u to what she was into;-)

Most dominants, especially professionals, ask what YOU are looking for. What works for YOU . What turns YOU on and turns YOU off.

It may seem like it is all about the top but it isn't going to work if the desires and needs of the bottom are not given equal importance.

[Edited 2/23/12 8:20am]