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21 Things You Wish You Could Say At Work 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care. 3. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word. 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. Ahh, I see the screw up fairy has visited again. 6. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 7. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth. 8. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 9. Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. 10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 11. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 12. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 13. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 14. What am I? Flypaper for geeks? 15. I'm not being rude. You're just insignifigant. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. It's a thankless job, but I've got Karma to burn off. 18. No, my powers can be used only for good. 19. I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me. 20. Who me? I just wander from room to room. 21. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Moderator moderator |
22. (To the boss) Your daughter is such a good fuck, did you know she swallows? |
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shit I gotta print this for about 10 people I work with cause we would all like to tell this to the ass we all call our top boss | |
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23. hello? it's the clue phone..it's for you "don'tcha wanna see my 'Tootsie Roll?' Baby I'm sho' you would!" | |
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24. And thìs is why you woke me up?!?!?! --------------------------------------------------
Her face was my favourite magazine Her body was my favourite book to read -------------------------------------------------- | |
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Jasper said: 24. And thìs is why you woke me up?!?!?!
I say this all the time. Variation on the same theme: "Hey! I'm on the org, don't you dare bother me with work bla-die-bla!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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are you that stupid or just plain ignorant?
and a real old one is: I'm not deaf, I'm just ignoring you Erik | |
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26: "Is it in your job description to constantly bother me?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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27. "Have a nice weekend!" On monday morning ten o´clock and then actually leave... --------------------------------------------------
Her face was my favourite magazine Her body was my favourite book to read -------------------------------------------------- | |
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Jasper said: 27. "Have a nice weekend!" On monday morning ten o´clock and then actually leave...
Euh, you weren't working, were you? Since you were not around on the org, I kinda got worried. Everything OK? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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ChocolateInvasion said: Jasper said: 27. "Have a nice weekend!" On monday morning ten o´clock and then actually leave...
Euh, you weren't working, were you? Since you were not around on the org, I kinda got worried. Everything OK? Hey don´t worry...I´m still a phantom jobber to the bone. I was on some other sites and reading some magazines. Still have to kill ten minutes till lunch. --------------------------------------------------
Her face was my favourite magazine Her body was my favourite book to read -------------------------------------------------- | |
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Jasper said: ChocolateInvasion said: Jasper said: 27. "Have a nice weekend!" On monday morning ten o´clock and then actually leave...
Euh, you weren't working, were you? Since you were not around on the org, I kinda got worried. Everything OK? Hey don´t worry...I´m still a phantom jobber to the bone. I was on some other sites and reading some magazines. Still have to kill ten minutes till lunch. A real phantom jobber goes to lunch twice. Once when the restaurant opens (11.30 in my case) and once when it almost closes (14.00), both times with different co-workers from different floors. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Jasper said: 27. "Have a nice weekend!" On monday morning ten o´clock and then actually leave...
I often say that when I leve, except on fridays. Then I'll say see you . | |
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28. Taking the afternoon off? (addressed to someone who leaves around 4) [This message was edited Wed Feb 19 5:34:38 PST 2003 by JeePee] | |
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JeePee said: 28. Taking the afternoon off? (addressed to someone who leaves around 4)
[This message was edited Wed Feb 19 5:34:38 PST 2003 by JeePee] I always leave around 16.00 29. Saying;"have a nice life" when leaving ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: 28. Taking the afternoon off? (addressed to someone who leaves around 4)
[This message was edited Wed Feb 19 5:34:38 PST 2003 by JeePee] I always leave around 16.00 ATV? | |
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JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: 28. Taking the afternoon off? (addressed to someone who leaves around 4)
[This message was edited Wed Feb 19 5:34:38 PST 2003 by JeePee] I always leave around 16.00 ATV? Just to frikkin' early at work, because then I only have 12 kilometres of traffic jam between Utrecht and Den Haag. Those 12 kilometres tend to go to 20 during the morning. I used to start at 07.00 so I could leave at 16.00 Now I start at 09.00 and leave 17.30. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: 28. Taking the afternoon off? (addressed to someone who leaves around 4)
[This message was edited Wed Feb 19 5:34:38 PST 2003 by JeePee] I always leave around 16.00 ATV? Just to frikkin' early at work, because then I only have 12 kilometres of traffic jam between Utrecht and Den Haag. Those 12 kilometres tend to go to 20 during the morning. I used to start at 07.00 so I could leave at 16.00 Now I start at 09.00 and leave 17.30. That's not the best part of the country to be travelling in, in the morning. Glad I live close to work. | |
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JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: 28. Taking the afternoon off? (addressed to someone who leaves around 4)
[This message was edited Wed Feb 19 5:34:38 PST 2003 by JeePee] I always leave around 16.00 ATV? Just to frikkin' early at work, because then I only have 12 kilometres of traffic jam between Utrecht and Den Haag. Those 12 kilometres tend to go to 20 during the morning. I used to start at 07.00 so I could leave at 16.00 Now I start at 09.00 and leave 17.30. That's not the best part of the country to be travelling in, in the morning. Glad I live close to work. and you live in? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: 28. Taking the afternoon off? (addressed to someone who leaves around 4)
[This message was edited Wed Feb 19 5:34:38 PST 2003 by JeePee] I always leave around 16.00 ATV? Just to frikkin' early at work, because then I only have 12 kilometres of traffic jam between Utrecht and Den Haag. Those 12 kilometres tend to go to 20 during the morning. I used to start at 07.00 so I could leave at 16.00 Now I start at 09.00 and leave 17.30. That's not the best part of the country to be travelling in, in the morning. Glad I live close to work. and you live in? Hoofddorp Always funky, always a party... NOT!!! | |
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JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: 28. Taking the afternoon off? (addressed to someone who leaves around 4)
[This message was edited Wed Feb 19 5:34:38 PST 2003 by JeePee] I always leave around 16.00 ATV? Just to frikkin' early at work, because then I only have 12 kilometres of traffic jam between Utrecht and Den Haag. Those 12 kilometres tend to go to 20 during the morning. I used to start at 07.00 so I could leave at 16.00 Now I start at 09.00 and leave 17.30. That's not the best part of the country to be travelling in, in the morning. Glad I live close to work. and you live in? Hoofddorp Always funky, always a party... NOT!!! Sorry I brought it up... Btw, you know you have picked the wrong nickname, don't you? Gotta get confused with another JP in the dutch Prince scene? And that's not a good thing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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ChocolateInvasion said: Sorry I brought it up...
Btw, you know you have picked the wrong nickname, don't you? Gotta get confused with another JP in the dutch Prince scene? And that's not a good thing. Tell me about it. Since the ONA tour I've been asked many times "hey are you.." after that I always stop them saying, nope not me, uh uh. But I been using this since '88 or so. So I try to live with it | |
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JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: Sorry I brought it up...
Btw, you know you have picked the wrong nickname, don't you? Gotta get confused with another JP in the dutch Prince scene? And that's not a good thing. Tell me about it. Since the ONA tour I've been asked many times "hey are you.." after that I always stop them saying, nope not me, uh uh. But I been using this since '88 or so. So I try to live with it I have had my share of troubles with this guy... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: Sorry I brought it up...
Btw, you know you have picked the wrong nickname, don't you? Gotta get confused with another JP in the dutch Prince scene? And that's not a good thing. Tell me about it. Since the ONA tour I've been asked many times "hey are you.." after that I always stop them saying, nope not me, uh uh. But I been using this since '88 or so. So I try to live with it I have had my share of troubles with this guy... But if you ever need to organise a queue, he's your guy | |
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JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: JeePee said: ChocolateInvasion said: Sorry I brought it up...
Btw, you know you have picked the wrong nickname, don't you? Gotta get confused with another JP in the dutch Prince scene? And that's not a good thing. Tell me about it. Since the ONA tour I've been asked many times "hey are you.." after that I always stop them saying, nope not me, uh uh. But I been using this since '88 or so. So I try to live with it I have had my share of troubles with this guy... But if you ever need to organise a queue, he's your guy I've organised the queue in Rotterdam. It worked fine until' he offered to 'help'. Result: He showed up at 15.00 and was first in line. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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"No, I won't help you, but how about I be all sing-songy and condescending?" | |
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You forgot;
Cecile, could you please take care of your personal hygiene YOU STINK! | |
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How about a good old "Fuck off! i'm leaving!" | |
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gooeythehamster said: You forgot;
Cecile, could you please take care of your personal hygiene YOU STINK! in my case the stinky one is called geoff and i wouldn't be so nice gave the brother a bar of soap once and he still didn't get it sheeeshh | |
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stepinrazor said: gooeythehamster said: You forgot;
Cecile, could you please take care of your personal hygiene YOU STINK! in my case the stinky one is called geoff and i wouldn't be so nice gave the brother a bar of soap once and he still didn't get it sheeeshh d-d-d-dayum... as 4 me, i'm like the youngest person in my office. i totally cannot relate with no-frickin-body whenever they try 2 make small talk with me...here's a typical thought which runs through my head (wish i could say it loud!): "awright woman, i don't give two shits and a quarter of a phuc what they got at the lancome counter at dayton's, u and that other heffa can get the phuc away from my desk and shut the hell up! i can't hear my phuckin music..." anti-dayton's at lunch edit. [This message was edited Wed Feb 19 9:38:26 PST 2003 by Handclapsfingasnapz] | |
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