I keep having this problem and I don't know what to do......

I went to a New Years party with my girlfriend at a mutual friends house. Their house is very big and very nice, so there were a lot of people there. They have a really big backyard too.

I was having fun with my girlfriend until I forgot I ate chili earlier that day....a lot of chili. It gave me explosive diarrhea and I really had to go, but I was so afraid of what others would think (and there was quite a line for all 3 of their bathrooms) that I took a bunch of napkins out of their kitchen while no body noticed and I ran out into their backyard (where no one else was because it was cold outside).

I walked as fast as I could to the very end of it (there's some woods at the end of their backyard) and I just dropped my pants and let it all out. I then wiped myself with the napkins and went back into the house like nothing happened. I forgot to wash my hands and I am for certain I shook hands after that and I remember their dog licking my fingers.

I went back over to their house a few days later and found out they knew somebody took a shit in their backyard and their dog was eating it and got sick (their dog is okay by the way).

I guess I just have a problem making a bowel movement around people. Does anyone else have this problem? I'm scared it is really affecting me....

Sorry

Are you Adam Sandler?

If what you said is actually true, it's halarious. Even if it's an untruth, it's still funny. Ok, back to your problem.

Don't worry about it. The dog didn't get sick and there seems no way anyone knows who took the squat. Besides most would think it was a guy and not a female.

On the flip side, you could have stood in line and crapped your pants or vomited all over the talk about embarrassement.

You're ok and obviously have a conscience. It's still funny.

You say you keep having this problem?...are you an habitual backyard shitter.

Get a grip fella we can all get caught short, but your obvious aversion to cleanliness is shocking..[img:$uid]http://i1210.photobucket.com/albums/cc404/funkmunki/fa034d55.gif[/img:$uid]

PANDURITO said:

Sorry

You did what you could only do at that time. Never eat chili prior to going out to friends again!

wow that is my worst fear i think ...

i have been at parties where I had to pee ... and i held it ... just cus there was lines for the bathroom etc ... i hate that ...

i would have just walked out like you and peed in the backyard but . wow . shit in the backyard ! that is classic .

my eyes feel like i was cryin ... with laughter . that is a classic !

from now on just respect your bowels more ! or pick your line (for the bathroom) early !

Actually you do not have a problem.
You had a problem. But now, it's their problem.
Maybe it's not all that fair, but y'know...

Shit happens.
Literally.


If you feel like there's still some moral baggage that you're carrying around b'cuz of this,
go vote for RodeoScro's daughter in that one Rockstar thread.
That should be enough to cancel out any negative karma.

Move on, d00d.
Life's too short.

MacDaddy said:

Are you Adam Sandler?

If he is not Adam Sandler, then I agree with the thread title wholeheartedly.

It's only awkward when the place is quiet and there are people around to hear you. But if it's at a loud party then no..

Yes you do ...

my goodness

Billmenever said:

If what you said is actually true, it's halarious. Even if it's an untruth, it's still funny. Ok, back to your problem.

Don't worry about it. The dog didn't get sick and there seems no way anyone knows who took the squat. Besides most would think it was a guy and not a female.

On the flip side, you could have stood in line and crapped your pants or vomited all over the talk about embarrassement.

You're ok and obviously have a conscience. It's still funny.

I am a male. The dog did get sick, but she's okay.

so your lady friend is still with you even though you boo-bood on yourself outside her door in october! you really HAVE to stop eating that chilli off the street

my dog ate a fresh cat turd and was perfectly fine, they have stomachs of steel unless your diarrhea was mostly made of chocolate which can make a dog REALLY sick.

Here's what I think: shitting in public excites you, as does sharing your shitty stories with the general public. You know there are special forums where your stories (and possibly pictures ) would be welcome and you would probably be able to meet a like minded girl willing to wipe your shitty ass in public FOR you

Good luck!!

Please we've been shitting outside longer than we have in. N dogs will eat anything.

why did i click on this thread.

LMAO!!!! Poor dog though.

#DEADDDDDD

gunner82 said:

I went back over to their house a few days later and found out they knew somebody took a shit in their backyard and their dog was eating it and got sick (their dog is okay by the way).

Yet another reason why dogs licking people on their lips totally grosses me out

And some people think dogs are smarter than cats!

Pokeno4Money said:

gunner82 said:

I went back over to their house a few days later and found out they knew somebody took a shit in their backyard and their dog was eating it and got sick (their dog is okay by the way).

Yet another reason why dogs licking people on their lips totally grosses me out

gunner82 said:

Billmenever said:

If what you said is actually true, it's halarious. Even if it's an untruth, it's still funny. Ok, back to your problem.

Don't worry about it. The dog didn't get sick and there seems no way anyone knows who took the squat. Besides most would think it was a guy and not a female.

On the flip side, you could have stood in line and crapped your pants or vomited all over the talk about embarrassement.

You're ok and obviously have a conscience. It's still funny.

I am a male. The dog did get sick, but she's okay.

I failed to gather you're a male and the dog female due to lauging out loud. It's still funny when I think of how low did you go to keep the crap from splatting on you and your man pants with mud and leaves on your shoes. If someone would have jumped out of the bushes I bet there really would have been a bigger mess. This still cracks me up.

Make sure you watch what you put in your mouth b4 going to another party and for petes sake, carry some sanitary hand wipes to wash your grimy poopy ridden hands.

Carry on.

Thread of the year!

Answer to your problem is

1. Take it easy on the chilli... very easy

2. Get yout mutual friend to put a toilet in at the bottom of their backyard

3. If the same happens again make sure there are no animals around... especially dogs

Steadwood said:

Thread of the year!

Answer to your problem is

1. Take it easy on the chilli... very easy

2. Get yout mutual friend to put a toilet in at the bottom of their backyard

3. If the same happens again make sure there are no animals around... especially dogs

^ imo thread of the years goes to the one entitled "i hurt my penis"

XxAxX said:

Steadwood said:

Thread of the year!

Answer to your problem is

1. Take it easy on the chilli... very easy

2. Get yout mutual friend to put a toilet in at the bottom of their backyard

3. If the same happens again make sure there are no animals around... especially dogs

^ imo thread of the years goes to the one entitled "i hurt my penis"

I ain't seen that one yet

6 there. should be able to see it on the first page. i requested an update, make sure dude's willy ain't silly no more.

XxAxX said:

6 there. should be able to see it on the first page. i requested an update, make sure dude's willy ain't silly no more.

Yep... It's a close call

Steadwood said:

XxAxX said:

6 there. should be able to see it on the first page. i requested an update, make sure dude's willy ain't silly no more.

Yep... It's a close call

if i had a penis, and i hurt it, there is nowhere else i would turn to for advice except here, from my fellow ORGers.