XxAxX said:

PurpleJedi said:

I don't know of anyone who does.

You had a bad experience approaching someone with a similar concern - so did that turn you "off" from doing so in the future with anyone else? (Just asking, not baiting, I swear!)

If Painted posted regular threads about "interventions" for obese/anorexic/alcoholic/lazy/whathaveyous then I could see what you're saying above.

If you had to do it over again...approach someone with a condition that concerned you...would you change your approach based on the negative response that you received before?

no, that was not where i was going. my past experience has nothing to do with my comment.

what i am saying is that, if person who chooses to confront the thin person is, themselves, let's just say not physically fit (okay, obese), they should likely not say word one about the other person's health issue. just a remark about how turn about is fair play.

Is it possible that people (wrongly, perhaps) more readily associate a health crisis with extreme weight loss? I think your line of thinking about morbid obesity might be comparable, if the friend in this case began to experience limited mobility and an increasing loss of function, which seems to be what painted is seeing here.

XxAxX said:

^ right. i get that. but who among us feels compelled to 'help' every single morbidly obese person they know?

I am obese... and I get told AAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the fucking time about my weight.

This very friend felt compelled to tell me that she thought I was still pretty despite my weight. I never mentioned hers. I get told about my weight and I am always given unsolicited diet advice all the time.

So by your standard I am cool with telling her to eat a sandwich and grow an ass to sit on.

I may be a fat bitch, but I can still get around run and I can fuck my man properly without farting uncontrolably or turning blue from being bent in half by my lover.

This women has not shown up to pick up her children a forth day now... and this chick isn't answering her phone. Her husband told me she's been in bed "sick".

[Edited 2/9/12 14:10pm]

HotGritz said:

paintedlady said:

You thought they were lying about being anorexic by saying they had cancer?

I have a friend, became friends recently. She is a lovely person, always supportive.

But she is maybe 90lbs (41 kilograms) or less and is 5' 2" tall.

She is hairy... lots of facial hair and a THICK head of hair... she says she is in remission but is always taking tons of pills and seems dizzy or drunk when I see her.

She had cervical cancer.... twice.

She is overly concerned about her daughter getting fat.

She is always focus on her looks and attire (though she looks cute as can be)

So I am beginning to suspect that its not cancer... but I am concerned about her lack of weight.

She is emaciated. She tells me she hates to eat.

What would you do? Should I just keep my big mouth shut?

Maybe she is a drug addict? I've known meth addicts who keep their hair. In fact, their hair seems to grow fuller as their body weight diminishes. Meth kills the appetite.

I'd hate to think someone would like about cancer. Damn.

If her daughter is old enough, maybe get her to open up more about her mother's habits and whether she eats, whether she weighs herself constantly and if she has body image issues. If the child can't speak on such things then maybe consult other mutual friends or a family member. Somebody know sumthin'!

She has lots of kids... all of them are kept very well. Her husband is a police officer.

She is not on meth, she seems to wear nice clothes and doesn't have that "crackhead" smell.

She also doesn't smoke at all.

She just seems weak and I think she drinks 1/2 a can of diet soda a day for her meals. She doesn't cook, she hates the smell of food cooking.

She is on all types of pills and has opened up to me about not being strong enough to handle sex with her husband.

I am hurt by her condition because I think she is getting worse and I want to help her get better.

When she gets "sick" she vomits and sleeps all day.

She is in "remission" and has been for about 5 years now. So why is she skinny like that?

She is UNDER 90 pounds. No breasts, no butt, you can see her bones through her jeans. She wears children's clothing and I am worried.

Dammit... I can't get in touch with her and I am worried now... really worried. I don't want her to land in the hospital again.

Pomade said:

XxAxX said:

no, that was not where i was going. my past experience has nothing to do with my comment.

what i am saying is that, if person who chooses to confront the thin person is, themselves, let's just say not physically fit (okay, obese), they should likely not say word one about the other person's health issue. just a remark about how turn about is fair play.

Is it possible that people (wrongly, perhaps) more readily associate a health crisis with extreme weight loss? I think your line of thinking about morbid obesity might be comparable, if the friend in this case began to experience limited mobility and an increasing loss of function, which seems to be what painted is seeing here.

Exactly... being naturally skinny is fine. BUT, she is weak and can't smell food and I NEVER see her eat. She is always shaking and slurring and those are on days when she can get outside.

Demi Moore looks fat in comparison. My friend had NO muscle and you can see her pelvis shape in her jeans.. she is under a girl's size 10.

^ oh wow. Ok not that sounds like cancer.

She needs to be hospitalized. All those pills and no food? No wonder she is frail.

Yeah something is definitely off but if it were an eating disorder she would totatly deny it. Perhaps she is bullimic?

HotGritz said:

^ oh wow. Ok not that sounds like cancer.

She needs to be hospitalized. All those pills and no food? No wonder she is frail.

Yeah something is definitely off but if it were an eating disorder she would totatly deny it. Perhaps she is bullimic?

Binge and purge?

Naw, my sister does that... my sister gobbles food down and disappears in a bathroom for like 20 minutes all the time, especially in restaurants. Then she re-imerges by going "I don't feel so gross anymore" and other stuff in reference to "feeling gross". I stopped worrying about her because she started running and is now looking fit and healthy.

No, I think my friend is just disgusted by food or eating. I think it may be her meds... but I do not know if she is addicted to pain killers, or still fighting cancer, or battling an eating disorder,

all I know is that she looks horrible and (she dresses nice and she looks pretty) but she is so gaunt.

paintedlady said:

XxAxX said:

^ right. i get that. but who among us feels compelled to 'help' every single morbidly obese person they know?

I am obese... and I get told AAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the fucking time about my weight.

This very friend felt compelled to tell me that she thought I was still pretty despite my weight. I never mentioned hers. I get told about my weight and I am always given unsolicited diet advice all the time.

So by your standard I am cool with telling her to eat a sandwich and grow an ass to sit on.

I may be a fat bitch, but I can still get around run and I can fuck my man properly without farting uncontrolably or turning blue from being bent in half by my lover.

This women has not shown up to pick up her children a forth day now... and this chick isn't answering her phone. Her husband told me she's been in bed "sick".

[Edited 2/9/12 14:10pm]

i did not mean an insult to you and i apologize for not being clearer

only meant to say: it would be easy for the person being so addressed to turn the tables, exact revenge by playing the same card.

paintedlady said:

XxAxX said:

^ right. i get that. but who among us feels compelled to 'help' every single morbidly obese person they know?

I am obese... and I get told AAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the fucking time about my weight.

This very friend felt compelled to tell me that she thought I was still pretty despite my weight. I never mentioned hers. I get told about my weight and I am always given unsolicited diet advice all the time.

So by your standard I am cool with telling her to eat a sandwich and grow an ass to sit on.

I may be a fat bitch, but I can still get around run and I can fuck my man properly without farting uncontrolably or turning blue from being bent in half by my lover.

This women has not shown up to pick up her children a forth day now... and this chick isn't answering her phone. Her husband told me she's been in bed "sick".

[Edited 2/9/12 14:10pm]

ps:

paintedlady said:

HotGritz said:

^ oh wow. Ok not that sounds like cancer.

She needs to be hospitalized. All those pills and no food? No wonder she is frail.

Yeah something is definitely off but if it were an eating disorder she would totatly deny it. Perhaps she is bullimic?

Binge and purge?

Naw, my sister does that... my sister gobbles food down and disappears in a bathroom for like 20 minutes all the time, especially in restaurants. Then she re-imerges by going "I don't feel so gross anymore" and other stuff in reference to "feeling gross". I stopped worrying about her because she started running and is now looking fit and healthy.

No, I think my friend is just disgusted by food or eating. I think it may be her meds... but I do not know if she is addicted to pain killers, or still fighting cancer, or battling an eating disorder,

all I know is that she looks horrible and (she dresses nice and she looks pretty) but she is so gaunt.

I hope you can help her or convince her to seek help. Damn, I hope she is not at a point of needing to be force fed. Seriously, how are her organs functioning if she doesn't eat.

One thing to keep in mind is that she is 5 foot 2. At that height its not unusual to be 90 lbs. Petite women can lose even a little weight and it becomes very noticeable. I get though, she looks sunken in and emaciated which is not good at all and not normal.

Yeah she needs to get to a doctor. Perhaps you can convince her to drink meal replacement shakes since she has this aversion to food now.

XxAxX said:

paintedlady said:

I am obese... and I get told AAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the fucking time about my weight.

This very friend felt compelled to tell me that she thought I was still pretty despite my weight. I never mentioned hers. I get told about my weight and I am always given unsolicited diet advice all the time.

So by your standard I am cool with telling her to eat a sandwich and grow an ass to sit on.

I may be a fat bitch, but I can still get around run and I can fuck my man properly without farting uncontrolably or turning blue from being bent in half by my lover.

This women has not shown up to pick up her children a forth day now... and this chick isn't answering her phone. Her husband told me she's been in bed "sick".

[Edited 2/9/12 14:10pm]

i did not mean an insult to you and i apologize for not being clearer

only meant to say: it would be easy for the person being so addressed to turn the tables, exact revenge by playing the same card.

Oh I know... I am just frustrated. She looks sickly.

Skinny is one thing, sickly is an entirely different matter. If she was even energetic I wouldn't worry but she's not even performing her regular rituals and she usually is an involved stay at home mom.