kimrachell said:

PurpleJedi said:

My philosphy on the matter.

Yeah, I could've taken her toothbrush and scrubbed my butthole with it, and I had a strong urge to pour bleach all over her lover's clothes that I recently found neatly folded in my old drawer...

...but ultimately what does it gain me?

I rather just go on with my life and try to avoid her as much as humanly possible (have to see her at least twice a week, sometimes four, depending on what my schedule with the kids is).

She can and will be replaced. My dignity however...not so easy to replace.

that would be very difficult to deal with.

Meh.

Yeah it hit me hard, cried a bit, got angry a bit, then got over it. It's a natural progression of things after all. I'm over it.

I think. (Clorox on sale at Target this week....)

Genesia said:

My philosophy (learned from my mother):

Never argue with an idiot. He'll just drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I don't do revenge. Nobody's worth becoming an asshole over.

Schadenfreude is another matter entirely.

This is actually a pretty good piece of advice! Shame I didn't hear that one before...

Remembering it might also save a lot of org-time spent arguing with fools...

Thanks for sharing!

Dave1992 said:

Genesia said:

My philosophy (learned from my mother):

Never argue with an idiot. He'll just drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I don't do revenge. Nobody's worth becoming an asshole over.

Schadenfreude is another matter entirely.

This is actually a pretty good piece of advice! Shame I didn't hear that one before...

Remembering it might also save a lot of org-time spent arguing with fools...

Thanks for sharing!

You reeeeeeeally like to push those buttons, don't you Dave?

PurpleJedi said:

uPtoWnNY said:

Cut mfers out of my life completely - they become 'dead' to me - I don't acknowledge their existence.

That goes without saying for certain members of my ex's family who thought they'd benefit (personally and financially) from my divorce and who helped stir shit up on both sides to expedite the process.

Not only did I fuck up their plans, but the only communication they get from me is via unnecessarily-detailed (as in "long-ass") letters to their lawyer, which they get billed for to sit and read.

If I never speak to them for the rest of my natural life, I will be JUST FINE.

Tittypants said:

Nothing. I'd just go on with my life & avoid talking to/coming in contact with that person. I'm not into revenge like that. Two wrongs don't make a right......

[Edited 2/2/12 2:33am]

That's quite cool too.

I find that this is probably one of the few things I find enough self-discipline for to endure; and I don't even find it hard. I change my mind week in, week out, change my ways more than once a year and even change my wardrobe every couple of months, but if someone really pisses me off, to the point where I am deeply disappointed in that person and they continued behaving badly even though I warned them, I will back off for ever. Without regrets. And, voilá, it works.

PurpleJedi said:

Dave1992 said:

This is actually a pretty good piece of advice! Shame I didn't hear that one before...

Remembering it might also save a lot of org-time spent arguing with fools...

Thanks for sharing!

You reeeeeeeally like to push those buttons, don't you Dave?

Right!!! Cuz which one would be considered the idiot? Just sayin... And this doesnt just apply to Dave... Heck, could apply to myself even...

.

[Edited 2/2/12 13:09pm]

tinaz said:

PurpleJedi said:

You reeeeeeeally like to push those buttons, don't you Dave?

Right!!! Cuz which one would be considered the idiot? Just sayin...

Who said I was talking about any of you two? Do you have some kind of complex?

Even though we tend to have completely different world-views, I found your way of defending yours and discussing it with me respectful and intelligent most of the time.

And the question about who being the idiot it a good one, too, of course. If your posing the question was meant to be serious (and not just pushing those buttons), I will share my opinion:

It depends on what you define as "truth". In our world, mostly (and thankfully), the majority decides about truth. One person could be right all the time, logically and mathematically correct, use carefully selected words to express their points etc. 20 other people not agreeing (for whatever reason) will make this person look and feel as if they were the idiot. It's sad, but you need an army behind your back to make a proper point. I know that there are times when I cross lines, I know that I will change my oh-so-immature world-views when I find the time is fit and I have never been reluctant to acknowledge that. But I also know that there have been a couple of times when people were so keen to prove I am wrong and didn't want to believe that a young, flashy individualist like me could, possibly, maybe, under some circumstances be right, or at least have a proper, well-rounded opinion, that it made them look completely ridiculous.

The sad thing is, many of you (and unfortunately probably you two also) will of course start typing whenever they see something bold or daring under my username, to put me into the right place and what not. But when you see other people acting like complete idiots, you wouldn't even bother thinking I might be mistreated, let alone start typing like you usually would (gratification? I don't know...).

To sum up my point, we're all idiots.

Dave1992 said:

tinaz said:

Right!!! Cuz which one would be considered the idiot? Just sayin...

Who said I was talking about any of you two? Do you have some kind of complex?

Even though we tend to have completely different world-views, I found your way of defending yours and discussing it with me respectful and intelligent most of the time.

And the question about who being the idiot it a good one, too, of course. If your posing the question was meant to be serious (and not just pushing those buttons), I will share my opinion:

It depends on what you define as "truth". In our world, mostly (and thankfully), the majority decides about truth. One person could be right all the time, logically and mathematically correct, use carefully selected words to express their points etc. 20 other people not agreeing (for whatever reason) will make this person look and feel as if they were the idiot. It's sad, but you need an army behind your back to make a proper point. I know that there are times when I cross lines, I know that I will change my oh-so-immature world-views when I find the time is fit and I have never been reluctant to acknowledge that. But I also know that there have been a couple of times when people were so keen to prove I am wrong and didn't want to believe that a young, flashy individualist like me could, possibly, maybe, under some circumstances be right, or at least have a proper, well-rounded opinion, that it made them look completely ridiculous.

The sad thing is, many of you (and unfortunately probably you two also) will of course start typing whenever they see something bold or daring under my username, to put me into the right place and what not. But when you see other people acting like complete idiots, you wouldn't even bother thinking I might be mistreated, let alone start typing like you usually would (gratification? I don't know...).

To sum up my point, we're all idiots.

Ummmmm you replied before I edited it.. I didnt want it to seem to be aimed at just you!

let it go

And I really was asking the question Dave... I mean if someone is just baiting, yes, they are the idiot... But if people are just disagreeing and trying to make their point, just because they dont agree with each other, it doesnt make them idiots... Not saying thats what you do... I just found that quote funny... because in my eyes, it doesnt make a point, which is why I said... "who is the idiot"....

PurpleJedi said:

kimrachell said:

that would be very difficult to deal with.

Meh.

Yeah it hit me hard, cried a bit, got angry a bit, then got over it. It's a natural progression of things after all. I'm over it.

I think. (Clorox on sale at Target this week....)

you seem to be dealing with it well, which is good for your kids.

tinaz said:

And I really was asking the question Dave... I mean if someone is just baiting, yes, they are the idiot... But if people are just disagreeing and trying to make their point, just because they dont agree with each other, it doesnt make them idiots... Not saying thats what you do... I just found that quote funny... because in my eyes, it doesnt make a point, which is why I said... "who is the idiot"....

You're right. I guess the important thing is to simply back off and let the other one talk when you have the feeling this won't go anywhere; who is "right" or "wrong" actually is not so important, I think...

Dave1992 said:

tinaz said:

And I really was asking the question Dave... I mean if someone is just baiting, yes, they are the idiot... But if people are just disagreeing and trying to make their point, just because they dont agree with each other, it doesnt make them idiots... Not saying thats what you do... I just found that quote funny... because in my eyes, it doesnt make a point, which is why I said... "who is the idiot"....

You're right. I guess the important thing is to simply back off and let the other one talk when you have the feeling this won't go anywhere; who is "right" or "wrong" actually is not so important, I think...

Its true, but I know how hard it is to back off when trying to make your point!

Nothing.

I already would feel bad enough for allowing myself to be in something that just ended up hurting me so badly and spending time on "getting them back" would just make me as pathetic as they were.

I do think it though, especially when it's new and hurts the most....oh, how I think about all the terrible things I could do to hurt them...I just never actually do anything.

I did one spiteful thing against my ex--wrote about him on this site called womansavers. Years later this phantom user (who wrote JUST LIKE he would, but he claims up and down that it wasn't him...despite having admitted he read it.) goes in on me like he/she knew the whole story, calling me a cheater and a liar and it was just really ugly mess. I wrote a response back telling them they sounded foolish screaming at me with half the story, blah blah....left it at that after they responded. I called myself getting that revenge after he dumped me so thoughtlessly (aka not telling me and letting me figure it out for myself, acting like everything was okay the week prior....) but it backfired a bit.

I dunno if it was really him, his mother, sister, other fam or even an obsessed gf or somebody else. I let it go and decided it was somebody from "Team Darren" sticking up for him despite his claims that he didn't get along 100% with his fam. It was strange, really. I really didn't get that revenge like I planned. I mean, it's still there and I obviously don't feel any better for it. I think the satisfaction was temporary until somebody actually replied.

I really got my feelings out in blogs at the time anyway. Blogigng, music, etc. I was just really hurt and felt like warning other women would be the best thing in the world. It wasn't worth it.

Best thing to do....work out the frustration. Don't make blogs online, videos, etc. Stay off the damn internet, phones all of that. Go punch a Wii person in a boxing match, furiously knit, go for a jog. Spite really isn't worth it...sometimes.

Dave1992 said:

The sad thing is, many of you (and unfortunately probably you two also) will of course start typing whenever they see something bold or daring under my username, to put me into the right place and what not. But when you see other people acting like complete idiots, you wouldn't even bother thinking I might be mistreated, let alone start typing like you usually would (gratification? I don't know...).

Dave now...you had a good thing going...why'd you need to fuck it up with ^^^^the persecution complex?

I can't speak for anyone else, but I can assure you that I am not stalking you nor trying to "put you in your place" or anything.

The org is a melting pot of different peoples with different ideals and different backgrounds. I enjoy reading other peoples opinions and comments. When something strikes me as worthy of a reply, I do so. ESPECIALLY when it's an idiotic post. Doesn't matter who posts it.

I promise you that - other than the thing with the boots at the mall - you are NOT on my mind in any way, shape or form.

Dave1992 said:

I've hit people out of spite; including friends.

Then I learned to first control my anger, and then to find ways not to become angry as easily. Now I don't act out of spite or anger.

I have done the same thing! but i learned to stop that. When i was in football, diuring my high school years. That was what we did, someone talked smack you just give them a punch and it's done. But that really not to sound cliche solves nothing... it just make's them pissed, and they will hate u & u hate them more not fun

PurpleJedi said:

Dave1992 said:

The sad thing is, many of you (and unfortunately probably you two also) will of course start typing whenever they see something bold or daring under my username, to put me into the right place and what not. But when you see other people acting like complete idiots, you wouldn't even bother thinking I might be mistreated, let alone start typing like you usually would (gratification? I don't know...).

Dave now...you had a good thing going...why'd you need to fuck it up with ^^^^the persecution complex?

I can't speak for anyone else, but I can assure you that I am not stalking you nor trying to "put you in your place" or anything.

The org is a melting pot of different peoples with different ideals and different backgrounds. I enjoy reading other peoples opinions and comments. When something strikes me as worthy of a reply, I do so. ESPECIALLY when it's an idiotic post. Doesn't matter who posts it.

I promise you that - other than the thing with the boots at the mall - you are NOT on my mind in any way, shape or form.

Where did I say I thought I was on your mind constantly? I think my posts are usually quite clear...

All I was saying is that I get the impression that some people rather tend to pay attention to and comment the negative stuff (or react to what they think is negative).

The worst I've ever done is call names and talk shit, and that's about as bad as I get.

Honestly people who do really extreme shit I kind of keep at arm's length because to me it says something about you on a very fundamental level if you have that little control over your emotions and actions that you'll do something really fucked up, just because you're pissed at someone or don't like them.

And over the years I've heard some really scary shit. People putting marijuana plants on people's parked cars outside of their workplace; people calling their exes bosses and telling them they're a sex-offender...

I've been on the receiving end of some stuff too - had an issue with a mentally unstable (schizophrenic) woman stalking me for years and digging up personal info on my family and then posting it on a public site, as well as going on some kind of weird campaign lying and manipulating people to turn them against me, some kind of weird 'revenge game' on her part, all kinds of shit. She used happily state that I wouldn't make it to 2012 because she'd see to it that I'd kill myself before then. This past New Year's Eve I imagined her flying into some kind of red-faced rage because I'm not dead.

I'm pretty sure some exes of mine have done a bit of lying too about what did or didn't happen between us, out of revenge - ie telling people we slept together when we didn't, that kind of thing.

uPtoWnNY said:

ThisOne said:

so anyway tell me what the nastiest thing is that u have u done out of spite????

Cut mfers out of my life completely - they become 'dead' to me - I don't acknowledge their existence.

That's the same for me. I've never tried to screw people over or ruin them. If they hurt me or whatever, I cut contact with them. I've done that with family

Just remembered somebody who specifically did something to me when i was a child. If I had the opportunity and wouldn't get arrested, i would beat her up--or at least smack her until she saw stars.

kimrachell said:

well, the boyfriend i had dated 2 years before i met my husband was very abusive, and he cheated on me with many women. when i found out, we broke up, and i sent him a gift in the mail, it was wrapped to look like a box of beautiful chocolates, but inside of it was dog crap. it just made me feel so much better to send that to him. it's the only time i ever did anything out of revenge to someone who hurt me. i honestly don't regret it either. God forgive me.

[Edited 2/2/12 12:27pm]

omg

its always the nice ones!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dave1992 said:

Tittypants said:

Nothing. I'd just go on with my life & avoid talking to/coming in contact with that person. I'm not into revenge like that. Two wrongs don't make a right......

[Edited 2/2/12 2:33am]

That's quite cool too.

I find that this is probably one of the few things I find enough self-discipline for to endure; and I don't even find it hard. I change my mind week in, week out, change my ways more than once a year and even change my wardrobe every couple of months, but if someone really pisses me off, to the point where I am deeply disappointed in that person and they continued behaving badly even though I warned them, I will back off for ever. Without regrets. And, voilá, it works.

For me, I just feel that time can heal things. I'll let it go & try not think about it as much, then as time goes on, just forget about it. If I happen to run into that person again later after enough time has gone by, maybe we can discuss things in a more calmly matter than it would've been off of initial reactions...I can't say ten years ago I would have given the same response, but me today....totally different person.

ThisOne said:

i was talking 2 my neighbour this afternoon and he confessed 2 me how he urinated on his ex wife's car just out of spite

i dont get why he would do this, he seems like an ok person

or maybe its just that i dont know 2 many ppl.....

so anyway tell me what the nastiest thing is that u have u done out of spite????

and.... do u think it helps get over the hurt????

my x left some thing behind that he treasures

walk away. deprive that person of my company that'll teach 'em.

I dont think pissing on a car constitutes awful.

I did once do a bad thing (just the one )

I was "seeing" a girl who was in a long term relationship with another guy. I had met him a few times.

I started to really fall for this girl, then she started dating another guy (a real dick IMO) behind my back (and her boyfriends).

I found out and I sent a text to her boyfriend to tell him his girlfriend was having an affair behind his back with this other guy.

Everyone lost, it was the nastiest thing I have ever done.

ThisOne said:

kimrachell said:

well, the boyfriend i had dated 2 years before i met my husband was very abusive, and he cheated on me with many women. when i found out, we broke up, and i sent him a gift in the mail, it was wrapped to look like a box of beautiful chocolates, but inside of it was dog crap. it just made me feel so much better to send that to him. it's the only time i ever did anything out of revenge to someone who hurt me. i honestly don't regret it either. God forgive me.

[Edited 2/2/12 12:27pm]

omg

its always the nice ones!!!!!!!!!!!!

and he's still an orger on this site.

kimrachell said:

ThisOne said:

omg

its always the nice ones!!!!!!!!!!!!

and he's still an orger on this site.

My hero!

paintedlady said:

kimrachell said:

and he's still an orger on this site.

My hero!

PurpleJedi said:

Tittypants said:

Nothing. I'd just go on with my life & avoid talking to/coming in contact with that person. I'm not into revenge like that. Two wrongs don't make a right......

My philosphy on the matter.

Yeah, I could've taken her toothbrush and scrubbed my butthole with it, and I had a strong urge to pour bleach all over her lover's clothes that I recently found neatly folded in my old drawer...

...but ultimately what does it gain me?

I rather just go on with my life and try to avoid her as much as humanly possible (have to see her at least twice a week, sometimes four, depending on what my schedule with the kids is).

She can and will be replaced. My dignity however...not so easy to replace.

Oh PJ...I'm so sorry to hear that...

Glad to hear you're better though.