http://entertainment.msnb...-by-choice

Her statement hasn't gone over well with gay activists. Writing in AMERICAblog Gay, John Aravosis says that Nixon, who had a long relationship with a man that produced two children before coming out as gay in 2004, is actually bisexual. "She needs to learn how to choose her words better, because she just fell into a right-wing trap, willingly," he writes, "When the religious right says it's a choice, they mean you quite literally choose your sexual orientation, you can change it at will, and that's bull."

He went on to say, "Every religious right hatemonger is now going to quote this woman every single time they want to deny us our civil rights."

Unfortunate. For the precise reason stated above.

I get people's problem with what she says, but maybe she is just being honest about her feelings, and maybe that should be embraced too.

it is just as bigoted to attack her for her choice as it is to attack someone who says they were born that way.

it shows that there are underlying agendas among some in the community.

on the other hand: if one is born gay then there may be a gene for it, if there is a gene then use of say stem cells may allow it to be reversed or turned off. or maybe tested for and used as a rason to have an abortion.

NDRU said:

I get people's problem with what she says, but maybe she is just being honest about her feelings, and maybe that should be embraced too.

I don't really doubt that she's being honest, even if I don't understand it. I just know how it'll be used.

Good for her. Some people do choose to be gay. I don't get the controversy.

And hello violator.

People really need to stop caring so much bout what a celebrity says.

Vendetta1 said:

Good for her. Some people do choose to be gay. I don't get the controversy.

And hello violator.

lazycrockett said:

People really need to stop caring so much bout what a celebrity says.

^ I agree.

As for the comment itself, I think actions are choices, but I don't think feelings of love and/or attraction are. I don't think you can choose to be attracted to or in love with someone. You can, however choose whether or not to have gay sex, date the same sex, etc.. I also don't think you can choose things like religious beliefs.. you either believe it or you don't.

It would also be ridiculous for anti-gay people to use one person's statement as an argument against all homosexuals.

P.S. I also don't think it matters where you're gay by choice or not; and I am not offended by Cynthia Nixon's statement.

[Edited 1/24/12 20:39pm]

NDRU said:

I get people's problem with what she says, but maybe she is just being honest about her feelings, and maybe that should be embraced too.

I agree.

I know that I was born gay.

Never (and I tried) was the choice to be heterosexual one that felt right or natural, quite the opposite.

I am just me, I can't dictate or even begin to think that I know, how someone else's identity works.

Fuck the religious right and the holy boat it sailed in on. It shouldn't fucking matter either way.

[Edited 1/24/12 19:56pm]

Vendetta1 said:

Good for her. Some people do choose to be gay. I don't get the controversy.

And hello violator.

And this is why the ORG loves you.

Ms. Nixon has a right to express how she she feels about her sexuality. Some people are all to ready to bully and push people to express, feel, and see things as the collective group does. Who gives a flyin' fuck what the "relgious right" thinks, you don't try to change their narrow ass minds; you do however demand and insist on equal rights and protection under the law.

===============one of these days i'm gonna learn how to type.

[Edited 1/24/12 20:17pm]

Vendetta1 said:

Good for her. Some people do choose to be gay. I don't get the controversy.

And hello violator.

kewlschool said:

Vendetta1 said:

Good for her. Some people do choose to be gay. I don't get the controversy.

And hello violator.

And this is why the ORG loves you.

This is only the first part. In the second she has issues with the term bisexual because, paraphrasing, "People don't like bisexuals."

NDRU said:

I get people's problem with what she says, but maybe she is just being honest about her feelings, and maybe that should be embraced too.

I get that, and I partly agree but I agree more with the comments in the OP because it's the truth; now every single homophobic jackass out there is going to take her one comment about personally being 'gay by choice' and apply it to everyone that's homosexual and bisexual and insist it's just a lifestyle choice even though for the majority, it's clearly not.

Dren5 said:

NDRU said:

I get people's problem with what she says, but maybe she is just being honest about her feelings, and maybe that should be embraced too.

I get that, and I partly agree but I agree more with the comments in the OP because it's the truth; now every single homophobic jackass out there is going to take her one comment about personally being 'gay by choice' and apply it to everyone that's homosexual and bisexual and insist it's just a lifestyle choice even though for the majority, it's clearly not.

Absolutely correct.

She isn't gay by choice, she's bisexual and now she chooses the be with a woman instead of a man. That what a bisexual person can do.

Gay people can't. So she is with a woman by choice, she's not gay by choice.

Stupid woman.

TD3 said:

Ms. Nixon has a right to express how she she feels about her sexuality. Some people are all to ready to bully and push people to express, feel, and see things as the collective group does. Who gives a flyin' fuck what the "relgious right" thinks, you don't try to change their narrow ass minds; you do however demand and insist on equal rights and protection under the law.

===============one of these days i'm gonna learn how to type.

[Edited 1/24/12 20:17pm]

Except that, in this case, it isn't the "religious right" that is bullying Ms. Nixon. It is "one of her own" - who is giving her a hard time for not expressing herself in politically correct, group-approved terms. In other words, "I will defend your right to free speech as long as I agree with it."

That, my friends, is fascism.

A big part of her point and it's something I've long said, is who cares if it's a choice or not? Why should that matter? As long as all are consenting adults it's no one else's business who's committing their life to whom.

That said, I also believe she was born naturally bi, as in attracted to both sexes, and chooses to be with women. That is different than choosing to be gay. But I don’t begrudge her explaining her experience however she chooses.

NDRU said:

I get people's problem with what she says, but maybe she is just being honest about her feelings, and maybe that should be embraced too.

feelings don't rule facts

I personally don't believe a person can choose, no more than I chose being heterosexual.

I think the problem is, like in this society its either / or. Black or White Gay or Straight

But there are Bisexual people, who are to various degrees attracted to both sexes.

If she is saying she is gay in the sense of 'culturally' identifying with the gay population then yeah that is a choice. Homosexual/Bisexual doesn't = Gay. A homosexual man in the closet married to a woman living a 'straight' life, is not "gay"

CarrieMpls said:

A big part of her point and it's something I've long said, is who cares if it's a choice or not? Why should that matter? As long as all are consenting adults it's no one else's business who's committing their life to whom.

That said, I also believe she was born naturally bi, as in attracted to both sexes, and chooses to be with women. That is different than choosing to be gay. But I don’t begrudge her explaining her experience however she chooses.

It shouldn't matter, you're right. But she said it was a choice, that way she makes that it matters.

If it's nobody else's business she shouldn't have talked about it.

So she shouldn't be allowed to express her own understanding of her own sexuality because she's a celebrity and/or because it's not politically expedient in some people's minds? What about this blogger? He's expressed a seeming weakness in the gay-rights argument ("Everyone just stick to the talking points! Even if you have to lie!"). Or is that okay because he's never been on a TV show?

My sexuality has never felt like a choice to me, but I have neither the expertise nor intense understanding of human sexuality to be able to declare, without hesitation, that she is wrong or stupid about her own. I question the motives of those who do.

Personally, I feel the gay community makes too much of this "It's not a choice!" argument. It's just a small step away from victimhood ("Sob! Who would choose this lifestyle?").

What is the REAL issue here? She stated her truth.

Graycap23 said:

What is the REAL issue here? She stated her truth.

What's the real issue? I will tell you what the REAL issue is:

The REAL issue is, "Who is Cynthia Nixon?"

I have no idea who this person is. Should I?

BTW, I guess you can choose to have sex with someone of your own gender, but I don't think you can choose your sexuality.

I've never known a gay person who's ever said anything but, "This is the way I was created".

I like what she says here a lot.

“I totally reject that,” she said heatedly. “I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.” Her face was red and her arms were waving. “As you can tell,” she said, “I am very annoyed about this issue. Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.”

OldFriends4Sale said:

NDRU said:

I get people's problem with what she says, but maybe she is just being honest about her feelings, and maybe that should be embraced too.

feelings don't rule facts

I personally don't believe a person can choose, no more than I chose being heterosexual.

I think the problem is, like in this society its either / or. Black or White Gay or Straight

But there are Bisexual people, who are to various degrees attracted to both sexes.

If she is saying she is gay in the sense of 'culturally' identifying with the gay population then yeah that is a choice. Homosexual/Bisexual doesn't = Gay. A homosexual man in the closet married to a woman living a 'straight' life, is not "gay"

of course she's only talking about her actions, not who she's attracted to.

Based on what she said, it's clear she's attracted to both sexes and that she chose to be with the sex that makes her "gay"