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Thread started 01/22/12 8:57am

Beautifulstarr
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Should You Be Able To Sue Your Spouse's Lover?

You're married and you discover that your spouse is unfaithful. You're devastated and consider getting a divorce. But, divorce doesn't seem to be enough -- shouldn't someone pay for the anguish and shame the affair has caused you?

Yes, according to Louisiana State University law professor and tort expert William R. Corbett, whose 2001 paper, "A Somewhat Modest Proposa...New Career," has been cited by dozens of researchers, most recently Shauna M. Deans in her 2010 paper "The Forgotten Side of the...Affections."

Although rare, some spouses have been able to cash in on the so-called heart balm torts, which are still legal in seven states. They are among the 23 states where adultery is illegal. In 2010, two spurned North Carolina wives sued their husbands' mistresses -- Cynthia Shackelford won $9 million and Dr. Lynn Arcara won $5.8 million. Before she passed away, Elizabeth Edwards was sup...ction tort to sue former aide Andrew Young for allegedly contributing to the demise of her marriage to John Edwards, who had a child with Rielle Hunter.

And that may be appropriate, Corbett says. If we believe that marriage is important, shouldn't we be able to punish those who try to destroy it?

Deans doesn't think it should stop at married couples, however. She wants the torts to cover cohabiting couples and other "quasi-marriages," since more people are seeking alternative committed relationships.

It seemed like a good time to talk to Corbett, who says he's been happily married for 26 years.

Q: What prompted you to write, "A Somewhat Modest Proposal to Prevent Adultery and Save Families"?

A: I realized not many people had written about criminal conversation and alienation of affection. Everybody likes to write about sex. In terms of societal values and tort law, it's interesting that states had abolished those torts while most people in society still claim that marriage and family is important and should be protected. I don't really argue that the torts would save many marriages ... but at the same time, we have many different purposes in tort law -- compensation, probably revenge -- and so it would not be completely inconsistent with what we do in tort law if we recognize a new version of those torts.

Q: Do you believe facing the possibility of a lawsuit will really stop someone from cheating?

A: That's one of about seven reasons courts would always tick off, "We're abolishing one or both of these torts because ..." It does not achieve deterrence because of the nature of the activity. What I always respond is, how do you know that? I think the answer is we don't know. That may be one's intuition ... but my guess is it's just as likely that the reverse is true. We recognize battery as a tort, and yet people get hit every day. That doesn't completely eliminate the conduct, but we have other reasons we recognize the tort anyway.

Q: Shauna M. Deans argues that your proposal didn't go far enough, and that the laws need to cover "quasi-marriages" such as cohabitation. Is your proposal indeed too modest?

A: One of the things that most troubled me about my own proposal ... and troubles me even more with her extension is that I propose that one would have to know about the marriage they were interfering with. That was not true with the old tort of criminal conversation. If you extend it beyond a marriage to other intimate relationships, I wouldn't know where to draw the line. If you have a boyfriend and girlfriend who claim to be committed and monogamous, does it cover that? It bothers me 1) on the knowledge component, which I would require, and 2) what would you have to know? If it's a marriage, you know that person's married or you don't. With other types of relationships, what are you going to have to find out?

Q: Most relationship experts say infidelity is just a symptom of other problems in the relationship. It would seem that those problems would be the real "interference," not the lover, and you can't sue over marital issues. Wouldn't that create problems for your proposal?

A: Like everything else in tort law, we allocate fault among the parties involved. It's my intuition, and the research backs it up, that when infidelity occurs, it's not just the fault of the other person, the outsider, but I'm not so sure that's an insurmountable problem in tort law.

Q: Why should the lover be penalized? Isn't that getting the spouse off the hook for his or her own sexual misconduct?

A: I don't know if it gets the spouse off of the hook because the spouse may very well get divorced, and whatever property arrangements come out of the divorce proceedings. They're likely to suffer some for the infidelity in jurisdictions that take that into account when determining alimony. The rationale would be that the third party ... interfered in an important relationship. It's not far-fetched to hold a party responsible where you say, well it's not all their fault. Sure they did something wrong, they did something that we would condemn, but they're not the only one responsible. ... I agree with that. But in tort terms, that doesn't bother me. It's not unlike a lot of other torts we recognize.

Q: In comparing marriage interference to business interference, you bring up an intriguing idea -- that if a spouse is able to "sample the sexual relations market" for better offers, he or she may reject them and thus save the marriage. Is that something society should seriously consider?

A: A number of people are doing just that. You may not like that in market exchange terms, because it sounds icily economic, but I'm not sure the analogy is very far off. I'm basically trying to compare a business tort that has to do with a relationship to the heart balm tort because I do see the torts as similar. They're both about relationships. A business can argue, "It's not my fault; I got this other customer from that business and I know it hurt him but it's OK, I'm just trying to compete and trying to make money." Well, there's a similar argument in relationships. I put them side-by-side and examined the rationales of why we still have a business interference tort but we don't have a marriage or family interference tort. Everybody says marriages and families are the most important things, but we're not protecting them by tort law like we do in business.

http://www.huffingtonpost...08081.html

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Reply #1 posted 01/22/12 9:17am

Revolution

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No, this opens the door for too much shadiness to happen....what if the couple are setting up the person for financial gain? What if the couple reconsile?

If you're not happy in your marriage, pay the money and get out.

Thanks for the laughs, arguments and overall enjoyment for the last umpteen years. It's time for me to retire from Prince.org and engage in the real world...lol. Above all, I appreciated the talent Prince. You were one of a kind.
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Reply #2 posted 01/22/12 9:40am

OnlyNDaUsa

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no. interesting though. it might prevent some people from being the other man/woman. but in the end... it is the souse that has the obligation to not cheat.

"Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!"
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Reply #3 posted 01/22/12 8:33pm

luv4u

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The problem is in the marriage between the two people.

If the other spouse has affairs then you divorce their ass. Plain and simple.

One of the grounds for divorce is adultry.....

So divorce their ass and move on with your life.

canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #4 posted 01/22/12 8:41pm

angel345

Ask Fantasia lol

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Reply #5 posted 01/22/12 9:10pm

vainandy

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Hell no.

Andy is a four letter word.
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Reply #6 posted 01/22/12 9:15pm

CrabalockerFis
hwife

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I agree with Revolution, luv & Andy.

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Reply #7 posted 01/23/12 7:53am

kitbradley

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Hell no! Your spouse made a committment to you, not the person they are cheating with. That person didn't exchange wedding vows with you. It's the cheating spouse who bears 100% of the blame.

"It's not nice to fuck with K.B.! All you haters will see!" - Kitbradley
"The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing." - Socrates
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Reply #8 posted 01/23/12 8:28am

missfee

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Umm no. If this was the case, then shucks, I would love to sue some ex-boyfriends of mine for wasting my time and money on them, but I can't. It doesn't make sense logically and neither does this situation in the article.

[Edited 1/23/12 8:29am]

I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince.
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Reply #9 posted 01/23/12 8:40am

Serious

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kitbradley said:

Hell no! Your spouse made a committment to you, not the person they are cheating with. That person didn't exchange wedding vows with you. It's the cheating spouse who bears 100% of the blame.

nod

With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A....
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Reply #10 posted 01/23/12 8:42am

PurpleJedi

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Uhm...I would like to go against the grain here and cast a vote for YES.

If you're not happy in a relationship, then GET THE FUCK OUT. I agree.

Why go behind his/her back and carry on with the marriage, receiving the financial and legal benefits of something that you have taken a shit on?

Then you can (if you're a woman) go on with your life and collect child support and even damned ALIMONY because the law wants to "protect" your cheating ass simply because you were married for XX years?

Compensation my ass. If marriage is such an important institution, then breaking it should be penalized. Otherwise just be done with it and both parties walk away. Clean break. Move on with your lives.

This country is ruled by lawyers and we can fucking sue for getting a papercut nowadays. I don't have a problem with this.

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #11 posted 01/23/12 8:43am

PurpleJedi

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kitbradley said:

Hell no! Your spouse made a committment to you, not the person they are cheating with. That person didn't exchange wedding vows with you. It's the cheating spouse who bears 100% of the blame.

The driver in a getaway car to a homicide is guilty by association.

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #12 posted 01/23/12 8:52am

Terrib3Towel

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What the fuck? Hell no. Damn why does the government want to control such personal issues. If anything divorce should be easier and simpler.
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Reply #13 posted 01/23/12 9:01am

Graycap23

Complete and utter nonsense.

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Reply #14 posted 01/23/12 9:59am

RodeoSchro

Maybe, but only after you punch his lights out.

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Reply #15 posted 01/23/12 11:18am

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

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No. You always start at the source, the cheating spouse. There could be no lover without the consent of the husband or wife.

2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #16 posted 01/24/12 1:33pm

angel345

A lover shouldn't be held fully accountable for a busted marriage. However, with the way these types of laws are being enforced, nowadays, and expanding from state to state, a man or woman should be careful with getting involved with married people. On a side note, I believe if a man wants to be a polygamist, move to the Middle East.

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Reply #17 posted 01/24/12 1:46pm

RodeoSchro

Something needs to be said here. I am speaking as a man.

No man cheats with a married woman. No kind of man at all.

Sure, the woman is at fault, too. I know it takes two to tango.

But no real man would ever boink a married woman.

Any man that nails a married woman should get his ass beat, and beat hard.

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Reply #18 posted 01/24/12 4:54pm

XxAxX

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i think there really is a tort like this. it's tortious interference with a marriage, or something like that.

i dunno about applicability, in this day and age but i suppose you could sue the person who broke up your marriage. legally it's possible. you could maybe recover money

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Reply #19 posted 01/24/12 5:17pm

angel345

RodeoSchro said:

Something needs to be said here. I am speaking as a man.

No man cheats with a married woman. No kind of man at all.

Sure, the woman is at fault, too. I know it takes two to tango.

But no real man would ever boink a married woman.

Any man that nails a married woman should get his ass beat, and beat hard.

Even gangsters know that rule lol!

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Reply #20 posted 01/24/12 6:49pm

luv4u

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kitbradley said:

Hell no! Your spouse made a committment to you, not the person they are cheating with. That person didn't exchange wedding vows with you. It's the cheating spouse who bears 100% of the blame.

So the husband and wife are not both to blame for problems within their marriage?? It takes 2 to tango.

canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #21 posted 01/24/12 8:32pm

SUPRMAN

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PurpleJedi said:

kitbradley said:

Hell no! Your spouse made a committment to you, not the person they are cheating with. That person didn't exchange wedding vows with you. It's the cheating spouse who bears 100% of the blame.

The driver in a getaway car to a homicide is guilty by association.

No they're not.

They are guilty because they are engaged in a criminal conspiracy and criminal enterprise. By engaging in either you accept the risk that something goes wrong. The driver's involvement assisted in the chain of events leading to a death, therefore the driver is also culpable for any death or injury committed by any member of the conspiracy and/or enterprise.

Guilty by association would be one of the robbers is your roommate who borrowed your car and police insist you had to know.

[Edited 1/24/12 20:58pm]

I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think.
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Reply #22 posted 01/24/12 8:49pm

angel345

SUPRMAN said:

PurpleJedi said:

The driver in a getaway car to a homicide is guilty by association.

No they're not.

They are guilty because they are engaged in a criminal conspiracy and criminal enterprise. By engaging in either you accept the risk that something goes wrong. The driver's involvement assisted in the chain of events leading to a death, therefore the driver is also cupable for any death or injury committed by any member of the conspiracy and/or enterprise.

Guilty by association would be one of the robbers is your roommate who borrowed your car and police insist you had to know.

Well in that case, you were on borrowed time, and you knew he/she was married lol

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Reply #23 posted 01/24/12 9:01pm

TD3

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luv4u said:

The problem is in the marriage between the two people.

If the other spouse has affairs then you divorce their ass. Plain and simple.

One of the grounds for divorce is adultry.....

So divorce their ass and move on with your life.

yeahthat

The passing of unilateral "no-fault" divorce laws were a big mistake. (imho)

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Reply #24 posted 01/24/12 9:09pm

robertlove

RodeoSchro said:

Something needs to be said here. I am speaking as a man.

No man cheats with a married woman. No kind of man at all.

Sure, the woman is at fault, too. I know it takes two to tango.

But no real man would ever boink a married woman.

Any man that nails a married woman should get his ass beat, and beat hard.

Where is the cheating married woman in this story?

Don't get me wrong, I think cheating is one the worst things you can do, but it's the one that's married who cheats.

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Reply #25 posted 01/24/12 9:28pm

lust

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No way but nothing would surprise me. The game was lost when companies started needing to put "caution, contents may be hot" on take coffee cups or when fatties get to sue mcdonalds for their condition.

Common sense. all bets are off.
If the milk turns out to be sour, I aint the kinda pussy to drink it!
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