Dren5 said:

HotGritz said:

Doesn't self-worth have to be taught tho? Do you think people are born knowing their value? I don't believe we are. I think some of us are darn lucky to have that taught to us at an age where we can understand and beleive it but most don't have that advantage.

I think some are, yeah.

I've definitely always had a strong sense of my personal importance and value that pretty much no one can take away from me. But at the same time I realize I'm very fortunate in that respect and that it's really not a common phenomenon. But it does happen.

My youngest came out of the womb thinking he was hot shit. He has a very healthy sense of self-worth. To the point of conceit. It was a natural thing for him.

My oldest struggles with believing in himself, (too much like his dad ), and all we can do is shower him with positive reinforcement and accolades to HOPE that he outgrows it or something. He's the type of person that advice goes in thru one ear and out the other.

PurpleJedi said:

Dren5 said:

I think some are, yeah.

I've definitely always had a strong sense of my personal importance and value that pretty much no one can take away from me. But at the same time I realize I'm very fortunate in that respect and that it's really not a common phenomenon. But it does happen.

My youngest came out of the womb thinking he was hot shit. He has a very healthy sense of self-worth. To the point of conceit. It was a natural thing for him.

My oldest struggles with believing in himself, (too much like his dad ), and all we can do is shower him with positive reinforcement and accolades to HOPE that he outgrows it or something. He's the type of person that advice goes in thru one ear and out the other.

'xactly...

self worth is 'SELF WORTH'

no matter whut you tell (even a child)

someone how they should value themselves

they still have the final say on whut they

feel their worth is.

we (people who do this) strive to teach

self esteem, which is found in doin for others.

it's a spiritual concept, and self worth

i believe, is a spiritual matter as well

ie. poor selfworth, poor spirit

you ever notice that withdrawn kids

find their worth in protectin others???

qwestioningedit

[Edited 1/19/12 9:00am]

KingBAD said:

PurpleJedi said:

My youngest came out of the womb thinking he was hot shit. He has a very healthy sense of self-worth. To the point of conceit. It was a natural thing for him.

My oldest struggles with believing in himself, (too much like his dad ), and all we can do is shower him with positive reinforcement and accolades to HOPE that he outgrows it or something. He's the type of person that advice goes in thru one ear and out the other.

'xactly...

self worth is 'SELF WORTH'

no matter whut you tell (even a child)

someone how they should value themselves

they still have the final say on whut they

feel their worth is.

we (people who do this) strive to teach

self esteem, which is found in doin for others.

it's a spiritual concept, and self worth

i believe, is a spiritual matter as well

ie. poor selfworth, poor spirit

you ever notice that withdrawn kids

find their worth in protectin others???

Give us an example of exactly what u mean...

PurpleJedi said:

KingBAD said:

'xactly...

self worth is 'SELF WORTH'

no matter whut you tell (even a child)

someone how they should value themselves

they still have the final say on whut they

feel their worth is.

we (people who do this) strive to teach

self esteem, which is found in doin for others.

it's a spiritual concept, and self worth

i believe, is a spiritual matter as well

ie. poor selfworth, poor spirit

you ever notice that withdrawn kids

find their worth in protectin others???

Give us an example of exactly what u mean...

a kid can be shy and withdrawn

and seemingly not care much about

the things that happen to them

(kinda like they think they have it commin)

so they take bullyin from others as if

it's expected.

but let the bullyin happen to

someone who is really weak, or weak of mind

and the protector in the subject kid

comes out as a natural atrabute.

and in hindsight they don't even see that

as a sign of personal worth, just the worth

of the person they protected...

KingBAD said:

PurpleJedi said:

Give us an example of exactly what u mean...

a kid can be shy and withdrawn

and seemingly not care much about

the things that happen to them

(kinda like they think they have it commin)

so they take bullyin from others as if

it's expected.

but let the bullyin happen to

someone who is really weak, or weak of mind

and the protector in the subject kid

comes out as a natural atrabute.

and in hindsight they don't even see that

as a sign of personal worth, just the worth

of the person they protected...

I've never, ever encountered such a person.

Very interesting...I assume that you know someone like this?

I mean, if you think about it, self-preservation is a natural instinct. People who have the "hero" gene (folks that run into burning buildings to save a baby & such) cast that aside for the pursuit of doing good...but I would be willing to bet that most firefighters, police, soldiers, etc. with this "hero" mindset aren't the shy/withdrawn type who'd let themselves get bullied.

I think though I started letting material things and accomplishments define who I was, and if I wasn't getting them, I would turn into a control freak or feel inadequate about myself. I didn't realize I was doing this until a few losses in my life that made me realize I was blind to it.

I think some people just automatically have it.

For those who don't and spend part of thier life living with/putting up with less than they deserve, there has to come a time of great hardship or struggle.

Like, you need to start taking care of yourself above all else (and children if you have them ofcourse)...but even with children, if you are not taking care of yourself you're not really taking care of them either.

You need to get rid of all the trash in your life and rely SOLELY on YOURSELF. No one else. Don't ask anyone for ANYTHING, and don't expect anything from anyone. Take care of you FOR you and not for anyone ELSE. Eventually you will gain confidence and learn to love yourself, and once that happens, you will never again settle for less than you deserve!

alphastreet said:

I think though I started letting material things and accomplishments define who I was, and if I wasn't getting them, I would turn into a control freak or feel inadequate about myself. I didn't realize I was doing this until a few losses in my life that made me realize I was blind to it.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

I think some people just automatically have it.

For those who don't and spend part of thier life living with/putting up with less than they deserve, there has to come a time of great hardship or struggle.

Like, you need to start taking care of yourself above all else (and children if you have them ofcourse)...but even with children, if you are not taking care of yourself you're not really taking care of them either.

You need to get rid of all the trash in your life and rely SOLELY on YOURSELF. No one else. Don't ask anyone for ANYTHING, and don't expect anything from anyone. Take care of you FOR you and not for anyone ELSE. Eventually you will gain confidence and learn to love yourself, and once that happens, you will never again settle for less than you deserve!

TotalANXiousNESS said:

I think some people just automatically have it.

For those who don't and spend part of thier life living with/putting up with less than they deserve, there has to come a time of great hardship or struggle.

Like, you need to start taking care of yourself above all else (and children if you have them ofcourse)...but even with children, if you are not taking care of yourself you're not really taking care of them either.

You need to get rid of all the trash in your life and rely SOLELY on YOURSELF. No one else. Don't ask anyone for ANYTHING, and don't expect anything from anyone. Take care of you FOR you and not for anyone ELSE. Eventually you will gain confidence and learn to love yourself, and once that happens, you will never again settle for less than you deserve!

I agree with Jedi

...

[Edited 1/28/12 18:14pm]