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I'm pretty sure this has been discussed once before but.... Have any of you here on the org just picked up and moved??
I've been in such a RUT for the past year.. it's terrible. I dropped out of college (biggest mistake of my life), got a terrible low paying factory job and I'm absolutely miserable. I really want to go back to school eventually, but with my debt from student loans it seems almost impossible at the moment.
I NEED to get my shit together, independently. I really feel that my staying here, in my home town is holding me back. I want to get out of here and start over completely.
I've heard several success stories of people just turning their backs on everything and making it out in the "real world" on their own but I've racked my brain and can't seem to figure it out...
Anyone have any input? It's MUCH appreciated. | |
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It's not an uncommon desire.
But it's much less common that doing so actually solves all the problems, fills the holes or just magically flips the happiness switch.
I know people who have done it (the getting up and leaving everything behind), because they lived with me in the process. That's really the only advice I can offer; if you know someone you're close to who lives someplace you'd like to try "starting over", ask them if you can invade for a few months until you get your feet back under you.
Whether or not doing so would actually help you is an unanswerable question, imo. You've just got to get out and there and live it to find out. | |
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i did it 9 years ago, best thing i ever did. but it's not for everyone, and it's not easy. but i was very happy. | |
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Yes.
I don't regret it.
Chris and I were discussing our friends' dramas with exes a couple of days ago. I suddenly realized that I have NO exes, no unpleasantness from my past at all, in my daily life. It was a very happy realization.
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How did you do this? I mean obviously there is some no brainers but as far as a job? How did you go about this aspect if the move? | |
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evry ten years or so I'M OUT!!! however, at this time in life (56 y/o) i think i have lost the 'hit it' spark i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT... STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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I searched online, emailed resumes and scheduled interviews during a week when I was visiting the area I was moving to. I was hired and had a job to go to as soon as I moved. | |
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My sister does it at least once every year she can't escape the REAL reason for her unhappiness which is herself. a whore in sheep's clothing | |
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I did! About 5 years ago. My parents were getting on my nerves...I didn't have any obligations, so without telling them, I packed my shit and hauled ass 3000 miles away to Los Angeles and haven't looked back since I live in West Hollywood and I absolutely love it!! | |
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Sara...this post made me very sad. I am sorry you are going through so much. Concerning school...you mentioned your school debt, is there no way you can get past it and enroll? Like Pell grants etc... more so if your income is low.
I wish I had some advice that could help, I saw some of the things others have said, and Erin's advice was smart. Decide where you want to live, and find some jobs online etc...
I truly hope you can get this all worked out, it really hurts me to see you dealing with so much. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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i did that a lot when i was younger and i'm really glad because i traveled quite a bit. interestingly, no matter how far away i moved i've always come back to minneapolis and at this point i think i'll stay here for a while, but who knows? imo it's not a bad idea to stay open to change and fresh starts. you are never too old to try something new. good luck | |
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I think you should go for it.
You don't want to sit there and always wonder 'what if'? Try it.
My hubby and I have been discussing the same thing as of late. I can't stand the winters here, and I'm like well WHY are we here then? It's not like we have these fabulous careers keeping us here.
Only thing is really holding us back is I'd have to take my ex to court first. But if we get serious enough about it, thats what I'll have to do. I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies Whats it all worth only the heart can measure It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside | |
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It's true that up and leaving probably won't fix everything in your life, but I suppose its better to try for a short stint, succeeding or eventually returning home when you realizing things aren't working out than never to try, later regretting what possibly could have been.
Logistically...
Living arrangements: It probably is best to crash someone's place for a short while, as Cerebus suggested. Identify a friend or family member in a place you'd like to try, ask them to put you up for a short time, offer something realistic for their consideration (a small bit of money toward rent, utilities, groceries, etc.), and make yourself as minimal a headache to them as possible. Be sure to honor your end of the deal here: This sort of imposition and not fulfilling your promises in return is the easiest way to screw up a relationship. I've seen this repeatedly.
Alternately, you may have to bite the bullet and take an affordable rental space with a roommate or two. Particularly because you're a single female, though, I'd say research the area in which you want to live thoroughly. Consider safety, local cost of living, community-building opportunities, transportation needs, etc. And be SUPER careful fielding possible roomies.
Job: Start job hunting in the desired area now. Send out some updated resumés, start calling around, and be willing to take a job (or perhaps 2) "below" you for the immediate time. Once you've arrived in your new town, you could continue to look for a better fit. And by no means underestimate the networking and reputation-building power of volunteer work in your free time! A-list jobs are tough to come by right now, even for those with greater professional/academic experience than yourself, so if you can get your foot in the door of a desired employer and prove yourself for free, you greatly bolster your marketability to them when/if a paid position for which you're qualified opens up. Worked for me! You might also consider brushing up on your babysitting and first aid skills now toward promoting yourself as a nanny wherever you're wanting to move. Nannies can make big money, and I know several recent transplants to my city who've taken up this kind of work while they're in school -- some even have managed arrangements with families who provide them with paid living space.
School: If you're serious about wanting to return to school, unless you're in a position to pay out of pocket or secure grants and scholarships, loans simply are a fact of life. Sure, they suck, you have to pay them back and there's no guarantee they'll pay off with a better professional life, but.... It's a liability you'll have to assess for yourself. In the meantime, don't let the fact you have existing loan debt frighten you. The bigger concern is whether that debt has defaulted. Are you current on your student loan payments? If not, you may have an awful time trying to secure new lenders. If you have defaulted, you might want to consider consolidating those loans under a single, new lender. This could bring your existing loans current and decrease your monthly payment. Once your loans are current, you're in a MUCH better position to secure new loans to return to school. Be smart here, though: If you take on new loans, work hard to be in and out of school as efficiently as possible. I know folk who act like their student loan lenders are sugar daddies or something, slowly progressing through school, buying all sorts of fancy crap they don't need, and they end up with MASSIVE loan debt and may or may not even ever graduate. But you can make this work for you with a bit of focus. [Edited 1/6/12 6:35am] Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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