An article I found very interesting...

Want a man to propose? Be a bitch

In Why Men Marry Bitches, Sherry Argov says women shouldn’t be so nice

Have you ever wondered what makes a man want to marry a particular woman? Is it about timing? Sex? Money? In her new book, “Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart,” Sherry Argov shows women how to transform a casual relationship into a committed one. She explains that being nice to your man won’t make him more devoted. In her interviews with men, Argov found that men want to commit to women who exude confidence and are in control of their lives. She was invited on “Today” to discuss her book. Read an excerpt:

Chapter One
Throwing Out the Rulebook. Why a Strong Woman Wins His Heart

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby

Society's Guidelines for Good Girls
Imagine a world in which roles were reversed and men cooked for women, picked up socks, and couldn't wait to get married. Pretend you had a boyfriend who owned a hope chest with six lavender bow ties inside that he wanted his groomsmen to wear at the wedding. Picture him getting choked up every time you strolled past a Baby Gap. And that he greeted you at the door wearing silk boxers and cowboy boots, so he could do a pole dance for you. Then add a few ultimatums:

“Where's my ring?”
“Why won't you marry me?”

Video: Why men marry strong women Chances are, you would assume the guy wasn't firing on all cylinders. And then you’d start planning your escape. “It's not you, it's me. [Translation: It's definitely you.] I'm too busy with work. I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Then you'd blow out the door ... like TNT.

As scary as it sounds, this is precisely the approach women are taught on how to catch a husband. It’s the plight of every "nice girl" who puts everyone else first, puts her own needs last, and doesn't think she is worthy of touching the hemline of her man’s pants.

Read more here: http://today.msnbc.msn.co...v6JjUqf39N

Hmm, so that's what a bitch is?

Want me to show you the door and change the locks? Be a bitch.

whats the bitch bonus if u dont want marriage????

Cerebus said:

Want me to show you the door and change the locks? Be a bitch.

Amen. But, I have notice decent guys who date and marry selfish demanding women. And then bitch about it. If you don't want a bitch don't marry one.

That shit don't work. I'm a bitch on wheels and I ain't STILL ain't got re-married. And I was sweet as honey 2 my first husband and he was an asshole. Go figure.

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

Billmenever said:

Hmm, so that's what a bitch is?

I think the word bitch is being defined in very different ways. Some flattering and some not.

What she is saying is being sappy-nice comes across as straight-up needy and passive aggressive.

No one wants that in a relationship.

So there needs to be a checklist for good bitch vs bad bitch.

I have a different book titled "Whip Your Life into Shape" subtitled "take charge, free your spirit, and become the mistress of your life with the Dominatrix Principles". Interesting I thought.

It has comments posted in 2 columns;

What is it about? (column I)

example: It is about managing those people who waste your time. Maintaining your boundaries so that you keep time for yourself.

What's it not about? (column II) same line.

example: It is not about bullying or demeaning people you meet, nor being cold and distant, just in case they make demands on you.

The truth is there is a way to go about being a confident woman who is in the drivers seat of her life and their is a way not to. All adult female bullys are called "bitches" but also sometimes women who care more about being respected then being liked are also called bitches. Sappy-nice women can not stand to not be liked so they compromise their standards and move their bondaries too easily. A good bitch is not that easily manipulated by guilt trippers and whiners.

BklynBabe said:

I guess I'm not bitch enough to force a man to marry me.

My friend's wife is A FIRST-CLASS, GRADE-A, GOV'T APPROVED BITCH!

She told me "I wasn't doing it right" because that's how she got him... and I refused to use those tactics.

I still look at him sometimes like ...

But they've been married for 18 years.

When the right person comes along, I'll be too old to appreciate him, but at least I'll know I didn't force myself on him.

Cerebus said:

Want me to show you the door and change the locks? Be a bitch.

If I were a dude, I'd feel the same way

I've had all sorts of ball busting habits in my past, and frankly I'm ashamed of the type of woman I used to be in my younger years. When you turn the mirror around on yourself and think about what kind of person you would like to be with, and would you even put up with yourself...yeah that sh** was a total eye opener for me and I realized I needed a major attitude adjustment. All that power/ego struggle BS is toxic, and nowhere near life affirming

chocolate1 said:

BklynBabe said:

I guess I'm not bitch enough to force a man to marry me.

My friend's wife is A FIRST-CLASS, GRADE-A, GOV'T APPROVED BITCH!

She told me "I wasn't doing it right" because that's how she got him... and I refused to use those tactics.

I still look at him sometimes like ...

But they've been married for 18 years.

When the right person comes along, I'll be too old to appreciate him, but at least I'll know I didn't force myself on him.

..and there you have it! Who the hell wants to use "tactics" to "catch" a husband??? Whatever happened to being yourself, being a mature adult, and hell, just clicking with somebody because you have the same interests, values, and life aspirations? I want a life mate that I can enjoy my sunset years with, not a sparring partner. Life is complicated enough without having to spend your life dragging people by the ears to do your bidding.

It's always a trip to see articles that claim to have solutions for the sexes but that then rely upon gender stereotypes to make their point ("it's the women who cook..."). How about people treat each other respectfully and honestly, and commit to the work of a relationship?

And any man fool enough to heed his woman's "demands" about when and how to marry her deserves what he has coming down the road... IMHO

Cerebus said:

Want me to show you the door and change the locks? Be a bitch.

Pomade said:

It's always a trip to see articles that claim to have solutions for the sexes but that then rely upon gender stereotypes to make their point ("it's the women who cook..."). How about people treat each other respectfully and honestly, and commit to the work of a relationship?

And any man fool enough to heed his woman's "demands" about when and how to marry her deserves what he has coming down the road... IMHO

Well, hello there, smart person.

Deadcake said:

I don't like for anyone to be pushing/coercing/forcing anyone to do anything!! Why would you want to be with someone who only is because you forced them to be?

I don't understand how anyone can "force" someone to marry them, though. Unless it's through fear and intimidation, like threat of violence or something.

If a guy feels "pressured" into getting married, he can always walk away.

There's a problem when women who simply aren't doormats are considered "bitches".

It seems the advice is saying be who you are, be yourself, don't cater to a man's every whim. Why would we then call that a durogatory term?

Ridiculous.

CarrieMpls said:

There's a problem when women who simply aren't doormats are considered "bitches".

It seems the advice is saying be who you are, be yourself, don't cater to a man's every whim. Why would we then call that a durogatory term?

Ridiculous.

It gets attention.

In other words...

PunkMistress said:

CarrieMpls said:

There's a problem when women who simply aren't doormats are considered "bitches".

It seems the advice is saying be who you are, be yourself, don't cater to a man's every whim. Why would we then call that a durogatory term?

Ridiculous.

It gets attention.

In other words...

Yeah, that's true.

But it still make me mad.

When I referred to my friend's wife as a bitch, I didn't mean that she was "assertive" or "not a doormat".

Her whole demeanor is passive-aggressive. She's a conniving, condescending person who smiles while she's insulting you- her voice is sweet while she's cutting to ribbons with her words.

Ottensen said:

chocolate1 said:

My friend's wife is A FIRST-CLASS, GRADE-A, GOV'T APPROVED BITCH!

She told me "I wasn't doing it right" because that's how she got him... and I refused to use those tactics.

I still look at him sometimes like ...

But they've been married for 18 years.

When the right person comes along, I'll be too old to appreciate him, but at least I'll know I didn't force myself on him.

..and there you have it! Who the hell wants to use "tactics" to "catch" a husband??? Whatever happened to being yourself, being a mature adult, and hell, just clicking with somebody because you have the same interests, values, and life aspirations? I want a life mate that I can enjoy my sunset years with, not a sparring partner. Life is complicated enough without having to spend your life dragging people by the ears to do your bidding.

Ottie: !

This part of the article bothered me:

Imagine a world in which roles were reversed and men cooked for women, picked up socks, and couldn't wait to get married. Pretend you had a boyfriend who owned a hope chest with six lavender bow ties inside that he wanted his groomsmen to wear at the wedding. Picture him getting choked up every time you strolled past a Baby Gap. And that he greeted you at the door wearing silk boxers and cowboy boots, so he could do a pole dance for you. Then add a few ultimatums:

“Where's my ring?”
“Why won't you marry me?”

Chances are, you would assume the guy wasn't firing on all cylinders. And then you’d start planning your escape.

Really?

Can any of the women on this thread relate to that caricature? Do women of our generation really have hope chests full of wedding crap from the time we're children? Do we really cry at the sight of baby booties? And then say things like "where's my ring?" If that's the author's idea of current gender roles...I'm glad I don't live where they live.

[Edited 12/31/11 7:05am]

chocolate1 said:

When I referred to my friend's wife as a bitch, I didn't mean that she was "assertive" or "not a doormat".

Her whole demeanor is passive-aggressive. She's a conniving, condescending person who smiles while she's insulting you- her voice is sweet while she's cutting to ribbons with her words.

oh! I wasn't referring to you at all. I meant the article.

I have no doubt you understand the definition of the word.

CarrieMpls said:

chocolate1 said:

When I referred to my friend's wife as a bitch, I didn't mean that she was "assertive" or "not a doormat".

Her whole demeanor is passive-aggressive. She's a conniving, condescending person who smiles while she's insulting you- her voice is sweet while she's cutting to ribbons with her words.

oh! I wasn't referring to you at all. I meant the article.

I have no doubt you understand the definition of the word.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure when you said she's a bitch, we all knew that you meant an actual bitch.

CarrieMpls said:

There's a problem when women who simply aren't doormats are considered "bitches".

It seems the advice is saying be who you are, be yourself, don't cater to a man's every whim. Why would we then call that a durogatory term?

Ridiculous.

I see it differently. It moves on from a very general, positive statement to being ridiculous.

Argov found that men want to commit to women who exude confidence and are in control of their lives.

Nothing wrong with that.

Chapter One
Throwing Out the Rulebook. Why a Strong Woman Wins His Heart

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.Bill Cosby

That's from a comedy routine. The goal being to make people laugh.

Society's Guidelines for Good Girls
Imagine a world in which roles were reversed and men cooked for women, picked up socks, and couldn't wait to get married.

Awfully stereotypical there. Women are both the dutiful and emotionally invested ones. All that's left for men is to TRY to behave correectly.

PunkMistress said:

Ottensen said:

..and there you have it! Who the hell wants to use "tactics" to "catch" a husband??? Whatever happened to being yourself, being a mature adult, and hell, just clicking with somebody because you have the same interests, values, and life aspirations? I want a life mate that I can enjoy my sunset years with, not a sparring partner. Life is complicated enough without having to spend your life dragging people by the ears to do your bidding.

Ottie: !

This part of the article bothered me:

Imagine a world in which roles were reversed and men cooked for women, picked up socks, and couldn't wait to get married. Pretend you had a boyfriend who owned a hope chest with six lavender bow ties inside that he wanted his groomsmen to wear at the wedding. Picture him getting choked up every time you strolled past a Baby Gap. And that he greeted you at the door wearing silk boxers and cowboy boots, so he could do a pole dance for you. Then add a few ultimatums:

“Where's my ring?”
“Why won't you marry me?”

Chances are, you would assume the guy wasn't firing on all cylinders. And then you’d start planning your escape.

Really?

Can any of the women on this thread relate to that caricature? Do women of our generation really have hope chests full of wedding crap from the time we're children? Do we really cry at the sight of baby booties? And then say things like "where's my ring?" If that's the author's idea of current gender roles...I'm glad I don't live where they live.

[Edited 12/31/11 7:05am]

Why, hello there, smart person.

CarrieMpls said:

chocolate1 said:

When I referred to my friend's wife as a bitch, I didn't mean that she was "assertive" or "not a doormat".

Her whole demeanor is passive-aggressive. She's a conniving, condescending person who smiles while she's insulting you- her voice is sweet while she's cutting to ribbons with her words.

oh! I wasn't referring to you at all. I meant the article.

I have no doubt you understand the definition of the word.

No, I know...

I'm sorry... your post just made me want to clarify my point about her.

I have been amazed for years by how she operates...

BUT she's gotten "the lifestyle she knew she wanted" (which is what she told me is why she wanted to marry my friend ).

I found myself wondering where I'd be if I had taken her "tips" back in the day...

Who am I fooling? That's not me. I could never have pulled it off.

Yeah, any husband needs a blowjob, but, does that turn the wife into a biatch??

JoeTyler said:

Yeah, any husband needs a blowjob, but, does that turn the wife into a biatch??

Not if they were smart enough to make sure their views on blowjobs were compatible before they got married.

PunkMistress said:

JoeTyler said:

Yeah, any husband needs a blowjob, but, does that turn the wife into a biatch??

Not if they were smart enough to make sure their views on blowjobs were compatible before they got married.

ahh, gotta love the courtship years

[Edited 12/31/11 7:20am]