I realize that getting married at 18 is acceptable in some religions/cultures. But to me, 18 is too young to even be thinking about marriage. Thinking back to when I was 18, getting married was the LAST thing on my mind. I was more interested in going out with my friends, bar hopping, drinking, dancing and just having fun. Also, if I had told my parents that I was in love with a guy and wanted to get married at the age of 18, my parents would have a lot to say about it. They would tell me to wait a couple of years, and then if I still was in love and wanted to marry the guy, then they would be okay with it.

I used to be friends with a girl who fell in love in with a guy while she was still in high school. She was pregnant by the age of 17, and married by the time she turned 18. As far as I know, they are still together. The child that she had at 18 years of age just celebrated his 30th birthday back in June. Hard to believe that he's already that age. Shoot, the girl that I used to know is probably a grandmother by now.

There was another girl that I used to know from high school who fell in love with this guy at the young age of 16, and she and her boyfriend were already talking about marriage. I remember her mom being very upset about the whole thing, and telling her daughter that she was too young to get married, etc. I certainly can understand that girl's family being concerned about it. Last I heard, they got married back in the early 80's, and as far as I know, they are also still together.

Some 18 year olds are still somewhat immature, and might not be emotionally mature enough to handle a serious commitment such as marriage. Of course, the level of maturity depends on the people involved. There are some 18 year olds who are pretty mature for their age, and others who just want to go out and have fun, and enjoy being young. I realize that not all 18 year olds are party animals who just want to have fun.

I'm curious as to what your opinions on this topic will be.

What prompted me to start this thread was my sister-in-law's 18 year old niece, who just got married a few weeks ago.

definitely too young for me to break $20 on their wedding gift

NDRU said:

definitely too young for me to break $20 on their wedding gift

A lot of my students are 18. I cannot see most of them being responsible enough to be married.

My grandparents got married at 18 and were married until my grandfather died after 54 years, but times were different then.

I know I wasn't ready to get married at 18... Sometimes I wonder if I could do it now.

My mother was 19 years old, and my father was 21 when they married. I would say she was a child bride.

My mom was 18, they would have been married 45 years this year if my dad hadnt passed away...

I was married at 19, still going strong 24 years later... I did live on my own for almost 2 years b4 we married

I guess it depends on the person...

chocolate1 said:

A lot of my students are 18. I cannot see most of them being responsible enough to be married.

My grandparents got married at 18 and were married until my grandfather died after 54 years, but times were different then.

I know I wasn't ready to get married at 18... Sometimes I wonder if I could do it now.

Times most definitely were different then. When people got married, they married for life, and the divorce rate was much lower than what it is now.

angel345 said:

My mother was 19 years old, and my father was 21 when they married. I would say she was a child bride.

19 is young. A good friend of my mom's was married at 19. She and her husband were married for a little over 50 years, until he passed away about two years ago.

tinaz said:

My mom was 18, they would have been married 45 years this year if my dad hadnt passed away...

I was married at 19, still going strong 24 years later... I did live on my own for almost 2 years b4 we married

I guess it depends on the person...

You and your mom were a child brides too. It most definitely depends on the person.

psychodelicide said:

chocolate1 said:

A lot of my students are 18. I cannot see most of them being responsible enough to be married.

My grandparents got married at 18 and were married until my grandfather died after 54 years, but times were different then.

I know I wasn't ready to get married at 18... Sometimes I wonder if I could do it now.

Times most definitely were different then. When people got married, they married for life, and the divorce rate was much lower than what it is now.

I agree. If you truly marry for life, then maybe 18 is not too young. You go on a journey together and there are bound to be some ups & downs. I even believe arranged marriage can work if you're committed.

But in this society, with divorce practically expected from people nowadays, I certainly wouldn't be giving my blessing to two 18 year old kids.

They can date, they can shack up, but don't get married and don't have kids!

psychodelicide said:

angel345 said:

My mother was 19 years old, and my father was 21 when they married. I would say she was a child bride.

19 is young. A good friend of my mom's was married at 19. She and her husband were married for a little over 50 years, until he passed away about two years ago.

Unfortunately, they've separated after 25 years of marriage, but he loved my mom, till his death.

my husband was 19 when he married me, we've been married almost 9 years. my mom married my dad when she was 18, and they've been married 34 years. so i think it depends on the person. some 18 year olds are not ready. but some people are much more mature than others.

I have friends who were married young.

She was 19 and he was 20 when they married 31 years ago. She was ready to marry and dedicate her life to him. He has been cheating on her as of recent.

In trying to console her about her situation, I told her that he just has feelings of missing out on something and this may have been the underlying reason to his cheating. Sometimes people (if they marry so young AND are insecure) may have feelings of inadequacy or feel like they are missing out on something if they marry so young and watch their friends dating/relationships through rose colored glasses. This happens especially when "friends" sugar coat, exaggerrate and are boastful of how exciting their sexual experiences are.

I strongly believe if young people get married and they keep single friends who date and chase and tell tales of all these "adventures" then a person may feel like their life is dull and begin desiring the same lifestyle in order to feel like they "still got it going on", so to speak.

Any marriage can work if the people in the marriage are strong enough to remain happy and satisfied in their situation. Old people can cheat too if they have a wandering heart. Age is not a factor, but more a sense of dissatisfaction. It all depends on the person/couple and who they choose to keep company with IMHO.

I think it depends on the person. I mean...previous generations might've been able to do it, but with the maturity level of my generation and those of the new, they're not even ready to start true RELATIONSHIPS, let alone think about tying the knot.

In the farming community I lived in prior to moving, girls got married there at 17. I always thought that was too young. There were actually girls in my grad class back in high school who's goal in life was to "marry rich".

They had no ambition. No dreams of college or personal independence. Just that.

In all honesty, it kinda scared me.

imo it's too young

NDRU said:

psychodelicide said:

Times most definitely were different then. When people got married, they married for life, and the divorce rate was much lower than what it is now.

I agree. If you truly marry for life, then maybe 18 is not too young. You go on a journey together and there are bound to be some ups & downs. I even believe arranged marriage can work if you're committed.

But in this society, with divorce practically expected from people nowadays, I certainly wouldn't be giving my blessing to two 18 year old kids.

They can date, they can shack up, but don't get married and don't have kids!

My thoughts exactly.

angel345 said:

psychodelicide said:

19 is young. A good friend of my mom's was married at 19. She and her husband were married for a little over 50 years, until he passed away about two years ago.

Unfortunately, they've separated after 25 years of marriage, but he loved my mom, till his death.

That's sad that they separated, after that many years together.

kimrachell said:

my husband was 19 when he married me, we've been married almost 9 years. my mom married my dad when she was 18, and they've been married 34 years. so i think it depends on the person. some 18 year olds are not ready. but some people are much more mature than others.

Definitely.

paintedlady said:

I have friends who were married young.

She was 19 and he was 20 when they married 31 years ago. She was ready to marry and dedicate her life to him. He has been cheating on her as of recent.

In trying to console her about her situation, I told her that he just has feelings of missing out on something and this may have been the underlying reason to his cheating. Sometimes people (if they marry so young AND are insecure) may have feelings of inadequacy or feel like they are missing out on something if they marry so young and watch their friends dating/relationships through rose colored glasses. This happens especially when "friends" sugar coat, exaggerrate and are boastful of how exciting their sexual experiences are.

I strongly believe if young people get married and they keep single friends who date and chase and tell tales of all these "adventures" then a person may feel like their life is dull and begin desiring the same lifestyle in order to feel like they "still got it going on", so to speak.

Any marriage can work if the people in the marriage are strong enough to remain happy and satisfied in their situation. Old people can cheat too if they have a wandering heart. Age is not a factor, but more a sense of dissatisfaction. It all depends on the person/couple and who they choose to keep company with IMHO.

That's a shame that your friend is dealing with a cheating spouse. I agree that the husband feels like he's missing out, because they married so young. And you're right, old people can cheat too. It doesn't matter what a person's age is. If they're not happy, then they're going to start looking for happiness with another person.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

I think it depends on the person. I mean...previous generations might've been able to do it, but with the maturity level of my generation and those of the new, they're not even ready to start true RELATIONSHIPS, let alone think about tying the knot.

In the farming community I lived in prior to moving, girls got married there at 17. I always thought that was too young. There were actually girls in my grad class back in high school who's goal in life was to "marry rich".

They had no ambition. No dreams of college or personal independence. Just that.

In all honesty, it kinda scared me.

That scares me too. Not every guy that a girl meets is going to be rich. A girl that young should definitely have more ambition than that.

XxAxX said:

imo it's too young

When you're 18, you have your whole life ahead of you to get married. What's the rush?

18 is damn near 2 young 2 do anything.

It really depends on the couple. I have a friend who was 14 when she got married and her then bf was 17(yes she was a teen Mom like myself) and she is still married!! My daughter has a friend who met her husband now when she was in middle school. They were bf/gf up until her senior year and two weeks after they graduated they got married. They now have 5 kids, a beautiful home, and are very happy together.

I see where you are coming from, there are so many 18 yr old kids out there, who are just that KIDS!

While there are plenty of success stories there are far more failures. The younger you are when you get married the more likely you are to divorce.

Can a single teenage woman be a good mother? Absolutely! And plenty have made the best of that situation, but no one would say it’s their first choice for a teenager and most would say it’s not the best way to plan your future.

Getting married at such a young age is similar. Sure it might work out, but there are better ways to guarantee a long and happy life and waiting is much more likely to guarantee a solid and happy marriage.

The smart choice is to wait.

Graycap23 said:

18 is damn near 2 young 2 do anything.

I agree Gray. I wouldn't want anyone to marry at 18 these days. My parents were 16 and 18 and were married for 60 years. That was a different time though. I think people should wait until they are in thier mid-20's before marrying or having children.

The 18 year old me would have been too young. I know how much I've changed since then.

Obviously people are going to change as they are becoming an adult. The trick is for both people to change together instead of growing apart. I think the young marriages (or any marriage really) that were successful was because the two grew in the same direction.

way too young!!!

psychodelicide said:

XxAxX said:

imo it's too young

When you're 18, you have your whole life ahead of you to get married. What's the rush?

when you're 18, you don't even know what you don't know, and have no way of suspecting what's out there for you to learn. when i look back on college, it's really not all that different from jr high school. you have to live a while before you can know yourself, and imo self-knowledge is the key to functioning well in a good relationship.