Why is it okay for a straight woman to have as many lesbian friends as she wants and her sexuality never comes into question, but if a straight man has just one purely platonic gay male friend, people question or comment on his sexuality? I've noticed this a lot over the years and am curious as to why there is such a double standard where having gay friends is concerned.

I don't get that, myself. Friends are friends. How old are these guys?

Thee are tons of double standards where men are concerned.

This makes no sense to me either.

Does it matter?

People talk a lot, but so what? In the end, it subsides after a while, and it makes me respect my straight friends that much more because they didn't give a shit about that stuff.

I have lots of straight friend's and just cause they hang with me no one ever asked

But some people are nosy little critters so...

Just ignore it

[Edited 12/4/11 20:42pm]

Because 90% of people are stupid-fuck asswipes.

johnart said:

Because 90% of people are stupid-fuck asswipes.

You're being too generous.

Good point...in terms of men, straight men tend not to have or feel comfortable around gay male friends.....

[Edited 12/5/11 9:48am]

TheFreakerFantastic said:

Good point...in terms of men, straight men tend not to have or feel comfortable around gay male friends.....

[Edited 12/5/11 9:48am]

Most of my male friends are straight and feel completely comfortable being around me or other gay guys.

Are they straight though? ^

TheFreakerFantastic said:

Are they straight though? ^

This is why the aforementioned double standard will never go away.

sextonseven said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

Are they straight though? ^

This is why the aforementioned double standard will never go away.

It's pretty sad that these double standards still exist. I have lesbian friends and no one ever thought I was lesbian in my life ever.

kitbradley said:

Why is it okay for a straight woman to have as many lesbian friends as she wants and her sexuality never comes into question, but if a straight man has just one purely platonic gay male friend, people question or comment on his sexuality? I've noticed this a lot over the years and am curious as to why there is such a double standard where having gay friends is concerned.

Not always the case. I had one lesbian friend for a couple years (met at the gym) and got my sexuality questioned. Funny thing is that she didn't even look butch, just a girly girl but whatever people felt some kind of way and we're not friends anymore. I think it bothered her more because she often got asked if she was "sure" she was gay.

As for the guys, I don't know any gay guys who have straight guy friends. Maybe that is their choice or the choice of the straight guy. Perhaps its questioned because we wonder what they would have in common. If you're talking a fem acting gay guy then I don't imagine he would have many straight male friends. As for a masculine gay guy then I would think he would have both gay and straight male friends and no one would question it.

Yep, i think if the friendship involves a fem acting gay guy then the str8 guy is about to get the side eye....as he well should! Men are hos, hadn't you heard?

TheFreakerFantastic said:

Are they straight though? ^

Didn't I just say 'my straight friends'?

MacDaddy said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

Are they straight though? ^

Didn't I just say 'my straight friends'?

I meant are they straight or 'straight'?

TheFreakerFantastic said:

MacDaddy said:

Didn't I just say 'my straight friends'?

I meant are they straight or 'straight'?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Efan said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

I meant are they straight or 'straight'?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Right?

TheFreakerFantastic said:

MacDaddy said:

Didn't I just say 'my straight friends'?

I meant are they straight or 'straight'?

Oh yeah, sorry I forgot. You think everyone is gay

Serious said:

sextonseven said:

This is why the aforementioned double standard will never go away.

It's pretty sad that these double standards still exist. I have lesbian friends and no one ever thought I was lesbian in my life ever.

You'd think orgers would be more enlightened being fans of Prince after all, but posts on this very thread continue to reinforce ignorant beliefs.

sextonseven said:

Serious said:

It's pretty sad that these double standards still exist. I have lesbian friends and no one ever thought I was lesbian in my life ever.

You'd think orgers would be more enlightened being fans of Prince after all, but posts on this very thread continue to reinforce ignorant beliefs.

Yeah some fans of Prince seem to be as close-minded as he himself seems to be these days .

johnart said:

Because 90% of people are stupid-fuck asswipes.

kitbradley said:

Why is it okay for a straight woman to have as many lesbian friends as she wants and her sexuality never comes into question, but if a straight man has just one purely platonic gay male friend, people question or comment on his sexuality? I've noticed this a lot over the years and am curious as to why there is such a double standard where having gay friends is concerned.

I know your question is for straight people but I'll give it a go. Most of my males friends are straight. They come in all shapes and sizes. Artsy types, musicians, jocks, I even have a great friend back in Texas who is the equivalent of macho: cowboy, hunts, etc. I think this mostly came about because I was in the closet for so long and cultivated a series of solid friendships that when the pressure valve finally burst and I came out of the closet these dudes were supportive in so many ways. Some said, "You're gay? Shocker! No shit. We were just waiting for you to find out." Others were shocked but eventually came around. My dear friend in Texas said: "And what do you want? A medal?"

I do see your point as I've seen it across the gay world. My partner has zero straight male friends and feels uncomfortable around them. While I, on the other hand, feel nervous around a bunch of gays. I fear the cunty queens.

Humans are a complex lot.

PunkMistress said:

johnart said:

Because 90% of people are stupid-fuck asswipes.

Indeed

TheFreakerFantastic said:

Good point...in terms of men, straight men tend not to have or feel comfortable around gay male friends.....

[Edited 12/5/11 9:48am]

All of my male friends are straight. But, one thing I've noticed over the years, they feel comfortable when we are just one-on-one but if someone else comes around that they know, especially if it's a female, some of them appear to get a little nervous.

BklynBabe said:

why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? because they want to shit on you....

Why do birds sing so gay

Oh okay i'll leave that to Frankie Lymon.

MacDaddy said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

Good point...in terms of men, straight men tend not to have or feel comfortable around gay male friends.....

[Edited 12/5/11 9:48am]

Most of my male friends are straight and feel completely comfortable being around me or other gay guys.

Yeah.

HotGritz said:

kitbradley said:

Why is it okay for a straight woman to have as many lesbian friends as she wants and her sexuality never comes into question, but if a straight man has just one purely platonic gay male friend, people question or comment on his sexuality? I've noticed this a lot over the years and am curious as to why there is such a double standard where having gay friends is concerned.

Not always the case. I had one lesbian friend for a couple years (met at the gym) and got my sexuality questioned. Funny thing is that she didn't even look butch, just a girly girl but whatever people felt some kind of way and we're not friends anymore. I think it bothered her more because she often got asked if she was "sure" she was gay.

As for the guys, I don't know any gay guys who have straight guy friends. Maybe that is their choice or the choice of the straight guy. Perhaps its questioned because we wonder what they would have in common. If you're talking a fem acting gay guy then I don't imagine he would have many straight male friends. As for a masculine gay guy then I would think he would have both gay and straight male friends and no one would question it.

Yep, i think if the friendship involves a fem acting gay guy then the str8 guy is about to get the side eye....as he well should! Men are hos, hadn't you heard?

Why?

Men may be ho's but some men are all hetero.

Why worry about what they may have in common?

If you really need to know, guess you better ask one of them.