I thought I was friends with guys more than girls for much of my early 20's and then learned later on that some of them liked me and didn't ask me out. I think I did suspect it too but was in denial, plus they weren't my type. I prefer hanging with my gay guy friends

I can be "just" friends with a man as long as two or more of the following apply:

You're married

You're ugly

You're gay

You like video games

You're not a loud mouth

You're smart (but don't act like ur smarter than me cuz i will slay yo ass)

You live far far away so we only talk on the phone

I know you through the internet

You're friends with my brothers, cousins or parents

You're my homegirl's man

You're not trying to fuck me

You like Prince, Rick James, Paramount Funkadelic, Kings of Leon, Kanye, Disco, Rap

I cannot be "just friends with a man if ANY of the following apply:

You fine as hell

You got a big dick

You got a nice body and a pretty face

You got money or at least what you got you spend it on me

You fine as hell

NDRU said:

JustErin said:

I just don't think that most men really enjoy hanging out with chicks.

Of course there are exceptions, but really I think men put up with a lot in the hopes of getting some.

I would probably only hang out with women if it did not look weird

I don't have any straight male friends that aren't related to me. All my close non-relative friends are women (and one gay man). I used to have some straight guy friends, but I found hanging out with them to be incredibly boring.

If I ever were to get married and didn't have a brother, there would be no best man at my wedding.

I tried to be honest friends with men... but every time they always end up telling me they wanted sex sooner or later. I think it would be different if I had a husband.

Are my male "friends" nice to me? Of course they are, but are they hoping I stuff their d*ck in my holes? YUP!

So are they "real" friends? NO, they are acquaintances.

Well, I have female friends that have me in their lives because I fill a need for them. Not sexual, but a specific need is filled so, I see that as no different than when a guy befriends me in hopes of getting sexed up.

I am learning that many people just develop friendships with other people for their own benefit.

As a grown woman, I had to learn how to have the discernment to see if someone only befriended me to get something out of me, or if they just wanted to be friends just because.

I have only met a handful of folks who choose to be REAL friends. Sad. Users are everywhere.

paintedlady said:

I tried to be honest friends with men... but every time they always end up telling me they wanted sex sooner or later. I think it would be different if I had a husband.

Are my male "friends" nice to me? Of course they are, but are they hoping I stuff their d*ck in my holes? YUP!

that's what you get for being HOT! sexy little minx. even if you had a husband, they would still try and smash. ive seen that mess with thine own eyes. muthafuccas runnin' up on married women like aint no other pussy in the world. just trifling.

JustErin said:

I just don't think that most men really enjoy hanging out with chicks.

Of course there are exceptions, but really I think men put up with a lot in the hopes of getting some.

It seems that there are a lot of "exceptions" on this thread...

I'm one of them since I honestly don't enjoy hanging out with guys, at least for the most part. They're always butting heads with you in some misguided attempt to prove their masculinity, the banter is really lame, they're often incapable of talking about the important things in life, etc etc.

There's one big disadvantage to having mostly female friends though, and that is that they disappear more easily. Not because they're less loyal or anything - they're not - but because things get complicated when they suddenly get a jealous boyfriend, when feelings develop on one side or both, if sexual tension is acted upon etc etc.

Still, I generally get along much better with women so I guess my life will stay complicated.

sextonseven said:

NDRU said:

I would probably only hang out with women if it did not look weird

I don't have any straight male friends that aren't related to me. All my close non-relative friends are women (and one gay man). I used to have some straight guy friends, but I found hanging out with them to be incredibly boring.

If I ever were to get married and didn't have a brother, there would be no best man at my wedding.

that is probably not good!

I work almost entirely with women too, so even there I am not really interacting with men much. But I know it's probably healthy to have male friends, so I do have a couple, plus my band is all guys.

Dave1992 said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

Yes they can, especially if they are different ages.

It's all about chemistry and sometimes you just get on as friends, nothing more.

Why should age difference change the feelings you have for a person?

I completely disagree. If you get along, you'll be friends; if you find each other attractive, you'll have some kind of physical desire for each other; it's all natural and does not automatically exclude or harm the friendship.

Because usually if you are with someone of a significantly different age, such as being friends with a 60 yr old woman, then you focus on the friendship, it's unlikely there is a sexual / attraction aspect.

Even if you are similar ages though, it's still possible just to be friends, its all to do with chemistry and some people just have friendship chemistry not attraction.

[Edited 12/9/11 12:37pm]

NDRU said:

sextonseven said:

I don't have any straight male friends that aren't related to me. All my close non-relative friends are women (and one gay man). I used to have some straight guy friends, but I found hanging out with them to be incredibly boring.

If I ever were to get married and didn't have a brother, there would be no best man at my wedding.

that is probably not good!

I work almost entirely with women too, so even there I am not really interacting with men much. But I know it's probably healthy to have male friends, so I do have a couple, plus my band is all guys.

If I didn't like baseball, I wouldn't know what to talk about with other dudes.

Dave1992 said:

I don't really get the definition of "friendship" in this context, as it seems to automatically exclude finding someone attractive, wanting to "go out" with them and probably sex too. Why?

Of course men and women can be friends.

Of course there will be sexual fantasies or the urge for physical closeness involved at some point, but it's natural and shouldn't harm real friendship.

Of course you can have sex with a person and remain "friends".

I love all of my true friends. I have (or had, at some point) sex with many of my female friends and we're all still friends.

No....not if you are platonic friends, which is what the OP means. Otherwise you are implying this rule would also apply to friendships in general, inc male friendships (although i guess in your case it probably does!!! ).

You're getting 'friends' confused with 'fuck buddies'.

[Edited 12/9/11 12:53pm]

TheFreakerFantastic said:

Dave1992 said:

I don't really get the definition of "friendship" in this context, as it seems to automatically exclude finding someone attractive, wanting to "go out" with them and probably sex too. Why?

Of course men and women can be friends.

Of course there will be sexual fantasies or the urge for physical closeness involved at some point, but it's natural and shouldn't harm real friendship.

Of course you can have sex with a person and remain "friends".

I love all of my true friends. I have (or had, at some point) sex with many of my female friends and we're all still friends.

No....not if you are platonic friends, which is what the OP means. Otherwise you are implying this rule would also apply to friendships in general, inc male friendships (although i guess in your case it probably does!!! ).

You're getting 'friends' confused with 'fuck buddies'.

[Edited 12/9/11 12:53pm]

I disagree. I remember discussing this on another forum a while ago and I've come to believe that sexual or romantic thoughts don't automatically negate the platonic nature of a friendship. It's all about intentions and actions. If a person fully intends to act on their sexual/romantic thoughts then the friendship is not as real as once thought.

chocolate1 said:

I do believe man & women can be just friends...

Most of my [straight] guy friends are married, yet we hang out and I socialize with their wives as well. There is only one wife who doesn't dig me (even after 18 years), but it's not because she sees me as a threat to her marriage. We are just different kinds of people, and our attempt at bonding for his sake didn't work.

I think that the video's conclusion was flawed. Just because one party may have feelings toward the other does not mean that they can't have a friendship. I have a friend that I am very close to, who I also have very strong feelings for. I'll still be his friend and be there for him even if I can't be with him romantically...

A male friend once told me that the only reason a guy would be "buddies" with a girl, is if he is trying to "F" her. If that is the case, then they weren't really friends in the first place.

I have a sour taste about the subject only because the situation where the dude and chick started out as friends and married for seven years is how i lost my husband of 22 years, they were co-workers.....

As I saw the video, I noticed all of the men agreed that being friends with a woman is not possible, whereas all of the women said that friendship is possible.

I have a sour taste about the subject only because the situation where the dude and chick started out as friends and married for seven years is how i lost my husband of 22 years, they were co-workers, and everyone was so enthralled about their relaltionship, never took one look at me.....

Not only that, they wanted me to hook up with some raunchy dude, who still to this day claims me as his own, i actually had to go to court to file papers so he couldnt use my name anymore......just....ugh!

angel345 said:

As I saw the video, I noticed all of the men agreed that being friends with a woman is not possible, whereas all of the women said that friendship is possible.

I think to a certain extent, it's true. It's funny that the Women don't seem to feel that way, but the Men do....

Tittypants said:

angel345 said:

As I saw the video, I noticed all of the men agreed that being friends with a woman is not possible, whereas all of the women said that friendship is possible.

I think to a certain extent, it's true. It's funny that the Women don't seem to feel that way, but the Men do....

It goes to show that men and women are extreme opposites

HotGritz said:

I can be "just" friends with a man as long as two or more of the following apply:

You're married

You're ugly

You're gay

You like video games

You're not a loud mouth

You're smart (but don't act like ur smarter than me cuz i will slay yo ass)

You live far far away so we only talk on the phone

I know you through the internet

You're friends with my brothers, cousins or parents

You're my homegirl's man

You're not trying to fuck me

You like Prince, Rick James, Paramount Funkadelic, Kings of Leon, Kanye, Disco, Rap

I cannot be "just friends with a man if ANY of the following apply:

You fine as hell

You got a big dick

You got a nice body and a pretty face

You got money or at least what you got you spend it on me

You fine as hell

LOVE it!!!

angel345 said:

Tittypants said:

I think to a certain extent, it's true. It's funny that the Women don't seem to feel that way, but the Men do....

It goes to show that men and women are extreme opposites

I'm not so sure I believe that.

JustErin said:

I just don't think that most men really enjoy hanging out with chicks.

Of course there are exceptions, but really I think men put up with a lot in the hopes of getting some.

I think that is often true. Most of the close male friends I had in my life were attracted to me while I was not attracted to them at all.

Tittypants said:

angel345 said:

It goes to show that men and women are extreme opposites

I'm not so sure I believe that.

Not an easy topic to discuss, but I have found for some reason that the best of relationships started out as frieinds. So I guess it's not that extreme at all. It depends on the individuals involved.

angel345 said:

Tittypants said:

I'm not so sure I believe that.

Not an easy topic to discuss, but I have found for some reason that the best of relationships started out as frieinds. So I guess it's not that extreme at all. It depends on the individuals involved.

I totally agree.

JustErin said:

I just don't think that most men really enjoy hanging out with chicks.

Of course there are exceptions, but really I think men put up with a lot in the hopes of getting some.

I disagree.

I guess it depends on what the activities are.

I'ma baseball fan, so I can go to a game with my friend Marc. It's not a date; we both enjoy the sport.

I'm a concert-goer. If a male friend is into the same band I'm going to see, I'll ask if he wants to go. We go, we rock, we go our separate ways at the end of the night.

I guess I'm one of those exceptions.

chocolate1 said:

JustErin said:

I just don't think that most men really enjoy hanging out with chicks.

Of course there are exceptions, but really I think men put up with a lot in the hopes of getting some.

I disagree.

I guess it depends on what the activities are.

I'ma baseball fan, so I can go to a game with my friend Marc. It's not a date; we both enjoy the sport.

I'm a concert-goer. If a male friend is into the same band I'm going to see, I'll ask if he wants to go. We go, we rock, we go our separate ways at the end of the night.

I guess I'm one of those exceptions.

Chocolate1, if your male friends are straight, I guarantee you that there's @ least a chance that if you came onto them, they would be putty in your hands. Didn't you say you have a "badonkadonk"? I'm rarely friends with a woman that I wouldn't sleep with if I have the chance....[I'm just being honest & speaking for myself]. They would "probably" never tell you that, but I gaurantee that there's a chance....

[Edited 12/9/11 17:07pm]

Tittypants said:

chocolate1 said:

I disagree.

I guess it depends on what the activities are.

I'ma baseball fan, so I can go to a game with my friend Marc. It's not a date; we both enjoy the sport.

I'm a concert-goer. If a male friend is into the same band I'm going to see, I'll ask if he wants to go. We go, we rock, we go our separate ways at the end of the night.

I guess I'm one of those exceptions.

Chocolate1, if your male friends are straight, I guarantee you that there's @ least a chance that if you came onto them, they would be putty in your hands. Didn't you say you have a "badonkadonk"? I'm rarely friends with a woman that I wouldn't sleep with if I have the chance....[I'm just being honest & speaking for myself]. They would "probably" never tell you that, but I gaurantee that there's a chance....

[Edited 12/9/11 17:07pm]

It's pretty sad to me to think that the only reason they'd be my friend is that one day they'd get a chance to sleep with me, as if that's all I'm worth...

And pathetic, since I've been friends with them since grade school, high school, or over 10 years.

AND if they only hang around me to sleep with me, then why did they marry others?

I'm sorry... but it just seems immature that friendship isn't valued- only the prospect of sex.

chocolate1 said:

Tittypants said:

Chocolate1, if your male friends are straight, I guarantee you that there's @ least a chance that if you came onto them, they would be putty in your hands. Didn't you say you have a "badonkadonk"? I'm rarely friends with a woman that I wouldn't sleep with if I have the chance....[I'm just being honest & speaking for myself]. They would "probably" never tell you that, but I gaurantee that there's a chance....

[Edited 12/9/11 17:07pm]

It's pretty sad to me to think that the only reason they'd be my friend is that one day they'd get a chance to sleep with me, as if that's all I'm worth...

And pathetic, since I've been friends with them since grade school, high school, or over 10 years.

AND if they only hang around me to sleep with me, then why did they marry others?

I'm sorry... but it just seems immature that friendship isn't valued- only the prospect of sex.

I promise you, that's not my point & that does not mean there is no friendship or respect whatsoever. I'm just saying, if they were given the chance to, you be surprised. That's the only point I'm trying to make...

Yes i think so, it would be insane if a guy wanted to sleep with EVERY female friend he knew. Like Dave1992 said the ones that are emotionally & physically attractive to them yes.

This is the same thing i get when people are shocked to find out 2 gay people can be friend's without having sex... my room mate is gay and people always ASK if we are sleeping together. NO

So yes i think they can be friend's no doubt

Gunsnhalen said:

Yes i think so, it would be insane if a guy wanted to sleep with EVERY female friend he knew. Like Dave1992 said the ones that are emotionally & physically attractive to them yes.

This is the same thing i get when people are shocked to find out 2 gay people can be friend's without having sex... my room mate is gay and people always ASK if we are sleeping together. NO

So yes i think they can be friend's no doubt

I know a bunch of women too, but I only consider a few real friends..... Some of the women I "know" would let me have sex with them without much thought.....it works both ways.....

....& I gaurantee that Dave1992 would have no problem boning most [if not all] of his female friends if he wanted too

JustErin said:

I just don't think that most men really enjoy hanging out with chicks.

Of course there are exceptions, but really I think men put up with a lot in the hopes of getting some.

My oldest & dearest friend is my daughter's godmother. I've known her since the 8th grade.

I am not attracted to her.

Right now I would say that I have three female friends and six guy friends. Not acquaintances, but actual friends.

Two of my female friends (my comadre included) I am not attracted to. The other I would get with in a HEARTBEAT should the situation ever present itself. But I'm still her friend, and I lend an ear when she's got troubles and wants to vent. She sees me as a friend.

I'm very "safe" you see.

GUYS TAKE NOTE: A group of us hung out and went to a bar, there was lots of alcohol involved (LOTS), she had a fight with her boyfriend (happens to be my friend as well) and to get "back" at him she flashed her puppies and put my face in 'em.

Sometimes there are definite benefits to being a "safe" friend.