Genesia said:

The first time I had an HIV test (I've had two), was about 20 years ago. It was when I met Sweetie. I wanted to make sure everything was okey-dokey, because I had a sense that this might be something that would last awhile.

I was nervous as hell because I found out that someone I dated (and slept with) in college came out a couple years later (after college) - and that he'd died of AIDS. (It was in the very early days of epidemic. By all accounts, he went quickly.)

I figured he wasn't infected when we were together (as I say, it was early days - and I had never shown any signs of illness). But still, waiting for the results was awful.

The second time, I went to the doctor because I had a cyst. She started palpating the thing without goggles, and the thing opened up and shot gunk into her eye. They asked me to take an HIV test as a precaution. I could hardly refuse.

And what was the result?

Genesia said:

The first time I had an HIV test (I've had two), was about 20 years ago. It was when I met Sweetie. I wanted to make sure everything was okey-dokey, because I had a sense that this might be something that would last awhile.

I was nervous as hell because I found out that someone I dated (and slept with) in college came out a couple years later (after college) - and that he'd died of AIDS. (It was in the very early days of epidemic. By all accounts, he went quickly.)

I figured he wasn't infected when we were together (as I say, it was early days - and I had never shown any signs of illness). But still, waiting for the results was awful.

The second time, I went to the doctor because I had a cyst. She started palpating the thing without goggles, and the thing opened up and shot gunk into her eye. They asked me to take an HIV test as a precaution. I could hardly refuse.

Wow. That sounds frightening.

MacDaddy said:

ScarletScandal said:

JohnArt, and MacBabyDaddy, I appreciate you 2 being honest on here

I have a serious question...

I always get guys who want to hook up with me telling me that they're poz, but "undetectable". What exactly does that mean? Does that mean they still have it, and are the chances of me being infected still the same? I am so clueless about this lol

I started with my HIV treatment shortly after I was diagnosed.

Having an undetectable viral load, means that the virus isn't showing up on tests, it's a sign that the anti-HIV medications are working. An undetectable viral load doesn't mean the HIV virus has been eradicated from your body. Even though the virus is undetectable in the blood, it is still hidden in other parts of your body, such as the brain, reproductive organs, and lymph nodes. If you stop treatment, the virus will start reproducing again and your viral load will increase, putting your health at risk.

[Edited 12/8/11 10:25am]

OOOH okay! Thanks love! I don't know why this isn't explained thouroughly like this to the public. Guys on hook up sites say they're "undetectable" as if they don't have it at all, and there's no risk of infection if you get with them.

alphastreet said:

Genesia said:

The first time I had an HIV test (I've had two), was about 20 years ago. It was when I met Sweetie. I wanted to make sure everything was okey-dokey, because I had a sense that this might be something that would last awhile.

I was nervous as hell because I found out that someone I dated (and slept with) in college came out a couple years later (after college) - and that he'd died of AIDS. (It was in the very early days of epidemic. By all accounts, he went quickly.)

I figured he wasn't infected when we were together (as I say, it was early days - and I had never shown any signs of illness). But still, waiting for the results was awful.

The second time, I went to the doctor because I had a cyst. She started palpating the thing without goggles, and the thing opened up and shot gunk into her eye. They asked me to take an HIV test as a precaution. I could hardly refuse.

And what was the result?

I'm here, ain't I?

ScarletScandal said:

JohnArt, and MacBabyDaddy, I appreciate you 2 being honest on here

I have a serious question...

I always get guys who want to hook up with me telling me that they're poz, but "undetectable". What exactly does that mean? Does that mean they still have it, and are the chances of me being infected still the same? I am so clueless about this lol

Exactly. I've had friends that had AIDS or were HIV positive and they never told me. Some of them even died without telling me. I knew they had it though I had been told by other people that they had it. I don't know why they felt they couldn't tell me though. It's still something that's kept a secret by a lot of people, even in the gay community.

Genesia said:

alphastreet said:

And what was the result?

I'm here, ain't I?

glad you are

alphastreet said:

Genesia said:

I'm here, ain't I?

glad you are

Thanks. Me, too.

ScarletScandal said:

MacDaddy said:

I started with my HIV treatment shortly after I was diagnosed.

Having an undetectable viral load, means that the virus isn't showing up on tests, it's a sign that the anti-HIV medications are working. An undetectable viral load doesn't mean the HIV virus has been eradicated from your body. Even though the virus is undetectable in the blood, it is still hidden in other parts of your body, such as the brain, reproductive organs, and lymph nodes. If you stop treatment, the virus will start reproducing again and your viral load will increase, putting your health at risk.

[Edited 12/8/11 10:25am]

OOOH okay! Thanks love! I don't know why this isn't explained thouroughly like this to the public. Guys on hook up sites say they're "undetectable" as if they don't have it at all, and there's no risk of infection if you get with them.

The risk is significantly lower, but there is still a risk. Protect yourself, always.

HotGritz said:

Genesia said:

The first time I had an HIV test (I've had two), was about 20 years ago. It was when I met Sweetie. I wanted to make sure everything was okey-dokey, because I had a sense that this might be something that would last awhile.

I was nervous as hell because I found out that someone I dated (and slept with) in college came out a couple years later (after college) - and that he'd died of AIDS. (It was in the very early days of epidemic. By all accounts, he went quickly.)

I figured he wasn't infected when we were together (as I say, it was early days - and I had never shown any signs of illness). But still, waiting for the results was awful.

The second time, I went to the doctor because I had a cyst. She started palpating the thing without goggles, and the thing opened up and shot gunk into her eye. They asked me to take an HIV test as a precaution. I could hardly refuse.

Wow. That sounds frightening.

It was.

I've had several scares, and it feels nerve wracking and almost soul destroying to me.

I intellectually KNOW that some of these once fatal deseases are no longer a death-nail, and mean that you can make healthy choices to live a 'normal' life (whatever normal means).

But I made a concious decision a while back after my last scare to stop having casual sex (at least with the frequency that I has having it). For some, sex is important as hell, and the idea of giving it up is unthinkable. For me, sex is no longer important. I'm not opposed to it, and will engage in it, but I don't go out seeking it.

I'm neither trying to prolong my life, nor trying to make myself sexually more viable to potential partners by staying STD-free. For me, it's more about freedom. It's great that folks can take drugs and maintain the health and stamina and live a normal lifespan--but I'd rather not have to do those things.

I'm optimistic that HIV will one day go the route of spyphlis, but until that time, sex is not

worth the risk if it's just going to a casual one-off thing for me. This is not me being judgemental--

I looooooooooooooooooove fucking people I don't or barely know...It's just me getting old I guess.

Macdaddy & Jaohnart

Macdaddy, thank you for sharing about the undectectable satus... so many do need to remember to protect themselves, myself included.

MacDaddy said:

ScarletScandal said:

OOOH okay! Thanks love! I don't know why this isn't explained thouroughly like this to the public. Guys on hook up sites say they're "undetectable" as if they don't have it at all, and there's no risk of infection if you get with them.

The risk is significantly lower, but there is still a risk. Protect yourself, always.

@ everything MacDaddy has said.

I'll only add, in answering Scarlet's question, that while Daddy & I are here sharing with our friends our undetectability as an indication of our being well, a lot of guys on hook up sites probably don't mean to come across as not having it at all (I'm sure some do, assholes come in every variety) so much as a way of coping with the stigma. Folk can be extremely harsh toward poz people. Some will cut off mid-convo, as if the poz person is not even worth responding to once they disclose thier status. As if they're not worth or wouldn't be able to handle someone telling them "I appreciate your honesty, but this is not a match."

On that same note, a lot of dudes delude themselves with someone just telling them they are negative. Even if you met a hook up who showed up at ur house with papers saying they were neg, they mean nothing, really. Not unless you were present with them at the time of testing and had them on surveillence from that second until they got in your bed.

So like Daddy said, protect yourself, always.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

johnart said:

It's not something I like to have huge long discussions about, because well...it's shit I have to deal with just like other folk have to deal with some other illnesses or heavy shit, but this is something that has been discussed in the past. Here and at NPGU.

Since '97, but like I said, undetectable and healthy. Knock on wood. (hehe..."wood:)

Johnart...thank you for being honest about this.

I wish more people could be more open about this. It's a serious illness that needs immediate treatment. Do you by any chance go to support groups or raise awareness for the disease?

I would say that my family/chosen family is my support group.

My mother was an educator/activist. Other than supporting charities by donating money or artwork, and having frank conversations like this one I wouldn't say I'm out there raising awareness (at least not in the same manner/level she did). It's just not a path I've chosen at this point.

paintedlady said:

Macdaddy & Jaohnart

Macdaddy, thank you for sharing about the undectectable satus... so many do need to remember to protect themselves, myself included.

Don't wear furry boots to the mall. It might stress me out and stress could raise my viral load.

johnart said:

MacDaddy said:

The risk is significantly lower, but there is still a risk. Protect yourself, always.

@ everything MacDaddy has said.

I'll only add, in answering Scarlet's question, that while Daddy & I are here sharing with our friends our undetectability as an indication of our being well, a lot of guys on hook up sites probably don't mean to come across as not having it at all (I'm sure some do, assholes come in every variety) so much as a way of coping with the stigma. Folk can be extremely harsh toward poz people. Some will cut off mid-convo, as if the poz person is not even worth responding to once they disclose thier status. As if they're not worth or wouldn't be able to handle someone telling them "I appreciate your honesty, but this is not a match."

On that same note, a lot of dudes delude themselves with someone just telling them they are negative. Even if you met a hook up who showed up at ur house with papers saying they were neg, they mean nothing, really. Not unless you were present with them at the time of testing and had them on surveillence from that second until they got in your bed.

So like Daddy said, protect yourself, always.

I value being educated about this trememdously, because all we're being told is "use a condom blah blah blah"

I wouldn't necessarily not date a positive guy, I just want to know the risks involved. I've met some poz guys who are to die for, but it's the not knowing that kills me.

johnart said:

MacDaddy said:

The risk is significantly lower, but there is still a risk. Protect yourself, always.

@ everything MacDaddy has said.

I'll only add, in answering Scarlet's question, that while Daddy & I are here sharing with our friends our undetectability as an indication of our being well, a lot of guys on hook up sites probably don't mean to come across as not having it at all (I'm sure some do, assholes come in every variety) so much as a way of coping with the stigma. Folk can be extremely harsh toward poz people. Some will cut off mid-convo, as if the poz person is not even worth responding to once they disclose thier status. As if they're not worth or wouldn't be able to handle someone telling them "I appreciate your honesty, but this is not a match."

On that same note, a lot of dudes delude themselves with someone just telling them they are negative. Even if you met a hook up who showed up at ur house with papers saying they were neg, they mean nothing, really. Not unless you were present with them at the time of testing and had them on surveillence from that second until they got in your bed.

So like Daddy said, protect yourself, always.

So basically it's different than a false negative on a first-time test?

MyNameIsPiper said:

johnart said:

@ everything MacDaddy has said.

I'll only add, in answering Scarlet's question, that while Daddy & I are here sharing with our friends our undetectability as an indication of our being well, a lot of guys on hook up sites probably don't mean to come across as not having it at all (I'm sure some do, assholes come in every variety) so much as a way of coping with the stigma. Folk can be extremely harsh toward poz people. Some will cut off mid-convo, as if the poz person is not even worth responding to once they disclose thier status. As if they're not worth or wouldn't be able to handle someone telling them "I appreciate your honesty, but this is not a match."

On that same note, a lot of dudes delude themselves with someone just telling them they are negative. Even if you met a hook up who showed up at ur house with papers saying they were neg, they mean nothing, really. Not unless you were present with them at the time of testing and had them on surveillence from that second until they got in your bed.

So like Daddy said, protect yourself, always.

So basically it's different than a false negative on a first-time test?

Yes, it can take up to 3 months before the virus shows up in your test results. Therefore if you suspect you're infected and you get yourself tested, go for a second tet 3 months later.

After you contract it though, it could take 6 to 12 months to show up in a test if not overnight shortly after, right?

[Edited 12/8/11 23:46pm]

paintedlady said:

Macdaddy & Jaohnart

Macdaddy, thank you for sharing about the undectectable satus... so many do need to remember to protect themselves, myself included.

You're very welcome!

alphastreet said:

After you contract it though, it could take 6 to 12 months to show up in a test if not overnight shortly after, right?

[Edited 12/8/11 23:46pm]

As far as I was told it can take up to 3 months but it might take longer. Therefore you should always get tested at least twice, with up to three months in-between tests. But I would suggest to get tested at least twice a year anyway.

Here we go with the bullshit...

I've been having "mutually beneficial business transactions" with this guy, and we were chatting a little earlier. I haven't seen him in a week. I was telling him when I'm sexually involved with someone, I "commit" to that person. I asked him how many other guys he's slept with since we've met. He didn't want to answer the question! He said "I don't want to say. That's too personal." COME.ON.SON.

I told him I haven't been with anybody else, and he still didn't want to tell me. I don't like that shit. Withholding information is the same as lying to me, and if he doesn't want to tell me that because it's "too personal", it makes me wonder what else he isn't telling me. I may just stop dealing with him.

UGH!!!

MacDaddy said:

alphastreet said:

After you contract it though, it could take 6 to 12 months to show up in a test if not overnight shortly after, right?

[Edited 12/8/11 23:46pm]

As far as I was told it can take up to 3 months but it might take longer. Therefore you should always get tested at least twice, with up to three months in-between tests. But I would suggest to get tested at least twice a year anyway.

In people with healthy immune systems, the virus can stay asymptomatic for 8-10 years. That's why a lot of people don't get tested until the symptoms show.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

MacDaddy said:

As far as I was told it can take up to 3 months but it might take longer. Therefore you should always get tested at least twice, with up to three months in-between tests. But I would suggest to get tested at least twice a year anyway.

In people with healthy immune systems, the virus can stay asymptomatic for 8-10 years. That's why a lot of people don't get tested until the symptoms show.

I know, I never had any symptoms either.

The reason I went for check ups was because my partner at the time was infected.

MacDaddy said:

MyNameIsPiper said:

So basically it's different than a false negative on a first-time test?

Yes, it can take up to 3 months before the virus shows up in your test results. Therefore if you suspect you're infected and you get yourself tested, go for a second tet 3 months later.

In addition to that, I'm not even talking about just false negatives.
Simply that someone will get a negative test result and wave that status around like a flag but in reality you don't know if that person hooked up and became infected on their way home from having the test. I see a lot of folk out there who are either only willing to hook up with negative folk or even "will bb if your clean" type dumbassness.

Like I said, unless you have 24 hr survaillance on the person you're hooking up with or you're clarivoyant, you SIMPLY. DON'T. KNOW.

johnart said:

MacDaddy said:

Yes, it can take up to 3 months before the virus shows up in your test results. Therefore if you suspect you're infected and you get yourself tested, go for a second tet 3 months later.

In addition to that, I'm not even talking about just false negatives.
Simply that someone will get a negative test result and wave that status around like a flag but in reality you don't know if that person hooked up and became infected on their way home from having the test. I see a lot of folk out there who are either only willing to hook up with negative folk or even "will bb if your clean" type dumbassness.

Like I said, unless you have 24 hr survaillance on the person you're hooking up with or you're clarivoyant, you SIMPLY. DON'T. KNOW.

What does that mean, bb?

tinaz said:

johnart said:

In addition to that, I'm not even talking about just false negatives.
Simply that someone will get a negative test result and wave that status around like a flag but in reality you don't know if that person hooked up and became infected on their way home from having the test. I see a lot of folk out there who are either only willing to hook up with negative folk or even "will bb if your clean" type dumbassness.

Like I said, unless you have 24 hr survaillance on the person you're hooking up with or you're clarivoyant, you SIMPLY. DON'T. KNOW.

What does that mean, bb?

bareback, no condom.

Seems like this convo is only about HIV, but do they test for everything when you do one of these tests?

Are people even concerned about other things now, or just not as concerned?

NDRU said:

Seems like this convo is only about HIV, but do they test for everything when you do one of these tests?

Are people even concerned about other things now, or just not as concerned?

When I got tested for STDs this year, I had to specifically ask for an HSV-2 test also otherwise the STD tests would not have covered that.

sextonseven said:

NDRU said:

Seems like this convo is only about HIV, but do they test for everything when you do one of these tests?

Are people even concerned about other things now, or just not as concerned?

When I got tested for STDs this year, I had to specifically ask for an HSV-2 test also otherwise the STD tests would not have covered that.

interesting.

But yes HSV-2 seems like something people don't talk too much about, and yet it is incurable (though not particularly dangerous as far as I know) and very common.