Shorty said:

SUPRMAN said:

How do you repeatedly end up alone with someone who rapes you?

aw man! cause they were little boys....victims. how could you even say that?

A kid who couldn't tell a parent or other adult what was going on?

A kid who couldn't say, I don't want to be around that person?

I don't understand, which is how I can say something like that.

RodeoSchro said:

SUPRMAN said:

How do you repeatedly end up alone with someone who rapes you?

There's a whole bunch of the world that you haven't seen, isn't there?

That's always going to be the case.

SUPRMAN said:

Shorty said:

aw man! cause they were little boys....victims. how could you even say that?

A kid who couldn't tell a parent or other adult what was going on?

A kid who couldn't say, I don't want to be around that person?

I don't understand, which is how I can say something like that.

I suggest doing some studying on the psychology of sex abuse victims. Especially children. It's quite enlightening.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

SUPRMAN said:

A kid who couldn't tell a parent or other adult what was going on?

A kid who couldn't say, I don't want to be around that person?

I don't understand, which is how I can say something like that.

I suggest doing some studying on the psychology of sex abuse victims. Especially children. It's quite enlightening.

There's also my own experience which gave me a premature education.

SUPRMAN said:

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

I suggest doing some studying on the psychology of sex abuse victims. Especially children. It's quite enlightening.

There's also my own experience which gave me a premature education.

Shorty said:

SUPRMAN said:

There's also my own experience which gave me a premature education.

not all people are the same. it's very sad you can't understand that.

I do understand that all people are not the same.

I'm sorry if I'm not open to accepting being raped by the same individual 16 times should be accepted as something that just happens.

Would you allow someone to rape you 16 times and never say a word or try to stop it?!!

I don't know why a child would allow abuse they didn't want to repeatedly occur to occur, but I knew at five, how to keep someone I saw as a threat, away from me and my siblings.

SUPRMAN said:

Shorty said:

not all people are the same. it's very sad you can't understand that.

I do understand that all people are not the same.

I'm sorry if I'm not open to accepting being raped by the same individual 16 times should be accepted as something that just happens.

Would you allow someone to rape you 16 times and never say a word or try to stop it?!!

I don't know why a child would allow abuse they didn't want to repeatedly occur to occur, but I knew at five, how to keep someone I saw as a threat, away from me and my siblings.

Too bad you don't pay attention to your own signature line. What you are saying here is ignorant as fuck.

Vendetta1 said:

SUPRMAN said:

I do understand that all people are not the same.

I'm sorry if I'm not open to accepting being raped by the same individual 16 times should be accepted as something that just happens.

Would you allow someone to rape you 16 times and never say a word or try to stop it?!!

I don't know why a child would allow abuse they didn't want to repeatedly occur to occur, but I knew at five, how to keep someone I saw as a threat, away from me and my siblings.

Too bad you don't pay attention to your own signature line. What you are saying here is ignorant as fuck.

Then enlighten me, don't just leave me ignorant.

Vendetta1 said:

SUPRMAN said:

I do understand that all people are not the same.

I'm sorry if I'm not open to accepting being raped by the same individual 16 times should be accepted as something that just happens.

Would you allow someone to rape you 16 times and never say a word or try to stop it?!!

I don't know why a child would allow abuse they didn't want to repeatedly occur to occur, but I knew at five, how to keep someone I saw as a threat, away from me and my siblings.

Too bad you don't pay attention to your own signature line. What you are saying here is ignorant as fuck.

Are you suggesting that an adult would stop the rapes but not a child?

Children feel pain too.

I'm suggesting that a child would also stop unwanted assaults or try to.

I don't believe a child is that powerless unless imprisoned, otherwise restrained or isolated.

I hope you aren't implying that molesters should know children are too helpless to fend for themselves.

HotGritz said:

NDRU said:

he looks creepy, but then a lot of coaches seem weird to me

cuz their closet booty bandits that's why! your instincts are just kicking in.

i think in order to be a coach, you should have your own kids. that way we have some minimal assurance you're not tryna snatch up some kid flesh.

Most (sexually) abused children are actually (sexually) abused by their own parents or other sibblings.

SUPRMAN said:

Vendetta1 said:

Too bad you don't pay attention to your own signature line. What you are saying here is ignorant as fuck.

Are you suggesting that an adult would stop the rapes but not a child?

Children feel pain too.

I'm suggesting that a child would also stop unwanted assaults or try to.

I don't believe a child is that powerless unless imprisoned, otherwise restrained or isolated.

I hope you aren't implying that molesters should know children are too helpless to fend for themselves.

I think your confusing rape with violent abuse. If a child says no, it's rape. The kid didn't necessarily get physically assaulted each time.

And my understanding is a lot of these kids he would allegedly "mentor" were economically challenged. Here's a big successful man offering children an opportunity for a better life for themselves and their family manipulating children's fragile minds. It's disgusting.

SUPRMAN said:

Shorty said:

not all people are the same. it's very sad you can't understand that.

I do understand that all people are not the same.

I'm sorry if I'm not open to accepting being raped by the same individual 16 times should be accepted as something that just happens.

Would you allow someone to rape you 16 times and never say a word or try to stop it?!!

I don't know why a child would allow abuse they didn't want to repeatedly occur to occur, but I knew at five, how to keep someone I saw as a threat, away from me and my siblings.

as a 9 year old...maybe I would because I was scared or unsure of the consequences of speaking out? maybe I'd feel no one would believe me? maybe I wouldn't have anyone I'd feel close enough to, to say it to? Maybe I DID say a word (you're assuming they said nothing) Maybe I did try to stop it the best I could.

Are you suggesting that if they let it happen 16 times they must have wanted it?!?!?

wow! good for you. I'm glad you were able to keep someone away from you and your siblings at 5 years old....but not all kids can and it sure the fuck ain't because they "want" it.

Tremolina said:

HotGritz said:

cuz their closet booty bandits that's why! your instincts are just kicking in.

i think in order to be a coach, you should have your own kids. that way we have some minimal assurance you're not tryna snatch up some kid flesh.

Most (sexually) abused children are actually (sexually) abused by their own parents or other sibblings.

Well that leaves everybody else's kids less at risk doesn't it? Truthfully, its a lose-lose situation. So what do we do? Not allow men to be coaches at all? Its harsh, unrealistic and even unreasonable but I'm fine with it if even one kid is protected.

SUPRMAN said:

Shorty said:

not all people are the same. it's very sad you can't understand that.

I do understand that all people are not the same.

I'm sorry if I'm not open to accepting being raped by the same individual 16 times should be accepted as something that just happens.

Would you allow someone to rape you 16 times and never say a word or try to stop it?!!

I don't know why a child would allow abuse they didn't want to repeatedly occur to occur, but I knew at five, how to keep someone I saw as a threat, away from me and my siblings.

I have a problem with you stating the child "allowed" the abuse to occur. It suggests that no one, least of all a child, could ever be a victim because you are somehow expected to fight off your attacker and run and tell the world what has happened. Most kids live in a state of fear and trauma following sexual assault which could often render them not only silent but feeling guilty and even unclean or worthless.

Imagine Sandusky telling a child that no one would believe them or telling them that it was their fault or even worse threatening their family. Maya Angelo was repeatedly raped as a child and she told no one, in fact, she stopped speaking altogether. Why? As I recall from her writings, her abuser threatened to kill her brother.

My own grandmother didn't tell anyone of her child sexual abuse until she was 50 years old. Actor Roger Moore, my 2nd fav james bond, did not share his child sexual abuse until he was in his 60s. This of course has nothing to do with the era in which they grew up but speaks to the level of control (physical and mental) abusers have over their victims. If child abusers were sloppy in their crimes they would all be locked up. Sadly, they are very cunning, crafty and skillfull manipulators and we as a society are losing the war againts them because we ourselves don't know how to deal with sex as a form of abuse. Too many people think the way you do. They think 1) either the kid is lying or 2) the kid wanted it to happen. Maybe that's not the message you are trying to convey but it is certainly how you come across in your post.

HotGritz said:

Tremolina said:

Most (sexually) abused children are actually (sexually) abused by their own parents or other sibblings.

Well that leaves everybody else's kids less at risk doesn't it? Truthfully, its a lose-lose situation. So what do we do? Not allow men to be coaches at all? Its harsh, unrealistic and even unreasonable but I'm fine with it if even one kid is protected.

To make it even worse, while men may generally be more prone to commit abuse, women do it too and much more than you would think. And most people who know or suspect don't tell or do anything about it. If the latter doesn't change, the first won't either, I am afraid.

Tremolina said:

HotGritz said:

Well that leaves everybody else's kids less at risk doesn't it? Truthfully, its a lose-lose situation. So what do we do? Not allow men to be coaches at all? Its harsh, unrealistic and even unreasonable but I'm fine with it if even one kid is protected.

To make it even worse, while men may generally be more prone to commit abuse, women do it too and much more than you would think. And most people who know or suspect don't tell or do anything about it. If the latter doesn't change, the first won't either, I am afraid.

That's why I say kill the mutherfuckers! Nothing to worry about if their all dead. Im not talking the decades long wait on death row; i'm talking kill their asses the moment they are found guilty by a jury of their peers. Fuck all that crying shit and talking about you weren't in your right state of mind blah blah blah....just fry their asses like chicken!

HotGritz said:

Tremolina said:

To make it even worse, while men may generally be more prone to commit abuse, women do it too and much more than you would think. And most people who know or suspect don't tell or do anything about it. If the latter doesn't change, the first won't either, I am afraid.

That's why I say kill the mutherfuckers! Nothing to worry about if their all dead. Im not talking the decades long wait on death row; i'm talking kill their asses the moment they are found guilty by a jury of their peers. Fuck all that crying shit and talking about you weren't in your right state of mind blah blah blah....just fry their asses like chicken!

2 questions:

Are you for frying all those parents and other sibblings who (sexually) abuse children too?

How are people going to be found guilty when nobody who knows does or say anything?

Tremolina said:

HotGritz said:

That's why I say kill the mutherfuckers! Nothing to worry about if their all dead. Im not talking the decades long wait on death row; i'm talking kill their asses the moment they are found guilty by a jury of their peers. Fuck all that crying shit and talking about you weren't in your right state of mind blah blah blah....just fry their asses like chicken!

GOOD QUESTIONS!

2 questions:

Are you for frying all those parents and other sibblings who (sexually) abuse children too?

I AM NOT FOR FRYING THEM. I AM FOR DUMPING THEM IN A VAT OF ACID WITHOUT A TRIAL. THEY ARE THE WORST OFFENDERS IMHO.

How are people going to be found guilty when nobody who knows does or say anything?

WE MUST EMPOWER CHILDREN TO SPEAK UP FOR THEMSELVES AND WE CAN DO THIS IN CHURCHES, SCHOOLS, THROUGH AD CAMPAIGNS AND VIA SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES. JUST AS PERVS LURK EVERYWHERE SO MUST THOSE OF US WHO WANT TO DEFEND AND PROTECT KIDS. WE CANNOT SIMPLY LOOK THE OTHER WAY OR SIT IDLEY BY AND FEEL BAD WHILE KIDS GET ABUSED IN THE MOST VILE DISGUSTING WAYS.

We also need to teach kids how to fight. I'm not opposed to kids carrying mace and pepper spray either when they leave your care.

Another thing. If you have a history of abusing kids/registered sex offender and your crime is sexual battery then I say you should be nuetered to keep from breeding your future victims.

There are estimates that up to 4 out of 10 girls have been sexually abused in some way or form in their childhood. Boys about 2 out of 10.

That's only based on research where people were willing to tell. And that's not including physical abuse like beatings nor psychological abuse.

Most of the child abuse in this world is done by sibblings, largely parents.

HotGritz said:

WE MUST EMPOWER CHILDREN TO SPEAK UP FOR THEMSELVES AND WE CAN DO THIS IN CHURCHES, SCHOOLS, THROUGH AD CAMPAIGNS AND VIA SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES. JUST AS PERVS LURK EVERYWHERE SO MUST THOSE OF US WHO WANT TO DEFEND AND PROTECT KIDS. WE CANNOT SIMPLY LOOK THE OTHER WAY OR SIT IDLEY BY AND FEEL BAD WHILE KIDS GET ABUSED IN THE MOST VILE DISGUSTING WAYS.

I've worked for a couple of years as a child advocate. On all kinds of legal matters, but also these issues. One thing became clear to me then. Usually nothing happens because usually nobody is wiling to tell. When you add the pressure on a child to even come forward, more than 99% of all cases are never handled.

People do look the other way. Mothers and fathers do, brothers and sisters do, teachers do, doctors do, child care, the police etc.

All the damn time.

[Edited 12/13/11 17:56pm]

Tremolina said:

There are estimates that up to 4 out of 10 girls have been sexually abused in some way or form in their childhood. Boys about 2 out of 10.

That's only based on research where people were willing to tell. And that's not including physical abuse like beatings nor psychological abuse.

Most of the child abuse in this world is done by sibblings, largely parents.

That's just so sickening and sad ...

Tremolina said:

HotGritz said:

I've worked for a couple of years as a child advocate. On all kinds of legal matters, but also these issues. One thing became clear to me then. Usually nothing happens because usually nobody is wiling to tell. The pressure on a child to even come forward is huge that 99% of all cases are never handled.

People do look the other way. Mothers do, brothers and sisters do, teachers do, doctors do etc.

All the damn time.

i agree. my own mother and grandmother looked the other way while my uncle sexually abused at least seven of his own family members.

Machaela said:

Tremolina said:

There are estimates that up to 4 out of 10 girls have been sexually abused in some way or form in their childhood. Boys about 2 out of 10.

That's only based on research where people were willing to tell. And that's not including physical abuse like beatings nor psychological abuse.

Most of the child abuse in this world is done by sibblings, largely parents.

That's just so sickening and sad ...

It is.

And it's probably just the tip of the iceberg while this has been going on since the dawn of men. In all cultures, by all sorts of people.

Vendetta1 said:

Tremolina said:

I've worked for a couple of years as a child advocate. On all kinds of legal matters, but also these issues. One thing became clear to me then. Usually nothing happens because usually nobody is wiling to tell. The pressure on a child to even come forward is huge that 99% of all cases are never handled.

People do look the other way. Mothers do, brothers and sisters do, teachers do, doctors do etc.

All the damn time.

i agree. my own mother and grandmother looked the other way while my uncle sexually abused at least seven of his own family members.

Very common unfortunately. Most people are afraid of the consequences or simply don't want to know and/or take responbility to take action.

Shorty said:

SUPRMAN said:

I do understand that all people are not the same.

I'm sorry if I'm not open to accepting being raped by the same individual 16 times should be accepted as something that just happens.

Would you allow someone to rape you 16 times and never say a word or try to stop it?!!

I don't know why a child would allow abuse they didn't want to repeatedly occur to occur, but I knew at five, how to keep someone I saw as a threat, away from me and my siblings.

as a 9 year old...maybe I would because I was scared or unsure of the consequences of speaking out? maybe I'd feel no one would believe me? maybe I wouldn't have anyone I'd feel close enough to, to say it to? Maybe I DID say a word (you're assuming they said nothing) Maybe I did try to stop it the best I could.

Are you suggesting that if they let it happen 16 times they must have wanted it?!?!?

wow! good for you. I'm glad you were able to keep someone away from you and your siblings at 5 years old....but not all kids can and it sure the fuck ain't because they "want" it.

I am not suggesting such. That came from your mind.

My comment also weren't directed at abuse children across the board. I was speaking of one specific reported incident, not commenting on child sexual abuse in general.

But even generally, there isn't an 'average' experience. They're all bad.

HotGritz said:

SUPRMAN said:

I do understand that all people are not the same.

I'm sorry if I'm not open to accepting being raped by the same individual 16 times should be accepted as something that just happens.

Would you allow someone to rape you 16 times and never say a word or try to stop it?!!

I don't know why a child would allow abuse they didn't want to repeatedly occur to occur, but I knew at five, how to keep someone I saw as a threat, away from me and my siblings.

I have a problem with you stating the child "allowed" the abuse to occur. It suggests that no one, least of all a child, could ever be a victim because you are somehow expected to fight off your attacker and run and tell the world what has happened. Most kids live in a state of fear and trauma following sexual assault which could often render them not only silent but feeling guilty and even unclean or worthless.

Imagine Sandusky telling a child that no one would believe them or telling them that it was their fault or even worse threatening their family. Maya Angelo was repeatedly raped as a child and she told no one, in fact, she stopped speaking altogether. Why? As I recall from her writings, her abuser threatened to kill her brother.

My own grandmother didn't tell anyone of her child sexual abuse until she was 50 years old. Actor Roger Moore, my 2nd fav james bond, did not share his child sexual abuse until he was in his 60s. This of course has nothing to do with the era in which they grew up but speaks to the level of control (physical and mental) abusers have over their victims. If child abusers were sloppy in their crimes they would all be locked up. Sadly, they are very cunning, crafty and skillfull manipulators and we as a society are losing the war againts them because we ourselves don't know how to deal with sex as a form of abuse. Too many people think the way you do. They think 1) either the kid is lying or 2) the kid wanted it to happen. Maybe that's not the message you are trying to convey but it is certainly how you come across in your post.

I guess a better way of expressing it would have been to ask what else was going on where it could continue.

It didn't cross my mind to imply he 'wanted' it. My apologies to all.

SUPRMAN said:My apologies to all.

As a survivor, those four words mean a lot. Thanks!!!

[Edited 12/14/11 8:39am]

Tremolina said:

HotGritz said:

I've worked for a couple of years as a child advocate. On all kinds of legal matters, but also these issues. One thing became clear to me then. Usually nothing happens because usually nobody is wiling to tell. When you add the pressure on a child to even come forward, more than 99% of all cases are never handled.

People do look the other way. Mothers and fathers do, brothers and sisters do, teachers do, doctors do, child care, the police etc.

All the damn time.

[Edited 12/13/11 17:56pm]

You know what I suspect? I suspect those family members that look the other way may have been abused themselves or maybe they feel ashamed and value public opinion over the safety and well being of their own child. I don't know what else could possibly make a parent sit by and allow their child to be sexually violated. I mean damn....its like watching a murder and just walking away. Its a good thing I don't run this world because I would lock up the people who knew about the abuse right along side the abusers. The prisons would be far more overcrowded than they already are. Fuck child molesters and the people who roll with them!

HotGritz said:

Tremolina said:

I've worked for a couple of years as a child advocate. On all kinds of legal matters, but also these issues. One thing became clear to me then. Usually nothing happens because usually nobody is wiling to tell. When you add the pressure on a child to even come forward, more than 99% of all cases are never handled.

People do look the other way. Mothers and fathers do, brothers and sisters do, teachers do, doctors do, child care, the police etc.

All the damn time.

[Edited 12/13/11 17:56pm]

You know what I suspect? I suspect those family members that look the other way may have been abused themselves or maybe they feel ashamed and value public opinion over the safety and well being of their own child. I don't know what else could possibly make a parent sit by and allow their child to be sexually violated. I mean damn....its like watching a murder and just walking away. Its a good thing I don't run this world because I would lock up the people who knew about the abuse right along side the abusers. The prisons would be far more overcrowded than they already are. Fuck child molesters and the people who roll with them!

That's what I mean. Prisons and frying pans filled with acid would be crowded with people you probably know and would have never thought.

I have heard several stories from abused women who did come forward. For example they told their grandmother, because they thought grannie would listen and they didn't want to hurt mommie. But grannie then tells the girl that nothing happened and she's just imagining it...

Denial, shame, fear, guilt, conflicts of interest and a lack of love and care for the child are usually reason why nothing happens, to begin with...

[Edited 12/14/11 9:15am]