raising kids seems to be a trial and error type of things. Some of the cruelest people came from good loving homes, some of the best citizens came from most abusive homes. Seems like in the end it all comes down to who that individual wants to be. Most of the angry adult stories seem to be those humiliating moments like having received a smacking in public or being smacked in the head, face, torso usually resulting in somekind of bruise or injury. I don't recall too many angry adult stories about getting their legs stung at 4 or even 10. I do have issues with spanking babies, non-walking, non-talking, that shocked the hell out of me when I saw someone do that. And I figure if your teenager doesn't know who you are and where the limits are by a certain age spanking them is kinda pointless, its just fighting then.

Timmy84 said:

I always get concerned with how I would take care of my own child if I decide to have one. Because sometimes I think children definitely are either born good or bad so it depends. I've known of bad kids. Glad I didn't become one.

I think we get a lot of, if not most of, who we are from our parents and grandparents when it comes to our personalities. Its important for people to reflect on how they were as children when deciding whether to have kids of their own. I have friends who have kids and complain about them and its funny to me because I remember them being the same way when we were kids. Its like "fool, your kid took after you!" One of my friends has a 4 year old daughter who is an outright brat and prone to tantrums but...her mom is the same way. Ah but its okay cuz she's grown or whatever.

But at the end of the day, if you like kids and you are a patient person but not one to be played for a fool...you would probably do fine as a parent. We have to bear in mind that people have been raising kids for a long ass time so as a species we must be doing something right.

HotGritz said:

Timmy84 said:

I always get concerned with how I would take care of my own child if I decide to have one. Because sometimes I think children definitely are either born good or bad so it depends. I've known of bad kids. Glad I didn't become one.

I think we get a lot of, if not most of, who we are from our parents and grandparents when it comes to our personalities. Its important for people to reflect on how they were as children when deciding whether to have kids of their own. I have friends who have kids and complain about them and its funny to me because I remember them being the same way when we were kids. Its like "fool, your kid took after you!" One of my friends has a 4 year old daughter who is an outright brat and prone to tantrums but...her mom is the same way. Ah but its okay cuz she's grown or whatever.

But at the end of the day, if you like kids and you are a patient person but not one to be played for a fool...you would probably do fine as a parent. We have to bear in mind that people have been raising kids for a long ass time so as a species we must be doing something right.

Humans basically

-Eat/Breath

-Work

-Breed/Raise kids

lol

Tremolina said:

Whenever there is an adult person irritating you, annoying you bla bla, do you "discipline" them to with a spanking?

Do you beat them up?

Is that legal?

'Nuff said.

Spanking (IMO) hinges on what the child did. Hurt someone else for no reason? Yup, spanking-worthy.

Simply being annoying? No.

JoeTyler said:

HotGritz said:

I think we get a lot of, if not most of, who we are from our parents and grandparents when it comes to our personalities. Its important for people to reflect on how they were as children when deciding whether to have kids of their own. I have friends who have kids and complain about them and its funny to me because I remember them being the same way when we were kids. Its like "fool, your kid took after you!" One of my friends has a 4 year old daughter who is an outright brat and prone to tantrums but...her mom is the same way. Ah but its okay cuz she's grown or whatever.

But at the end of the day, if you like kids and you are a patient person but not one to be played for a fool...you would probably do fine as a parent. We have to bear in mind that people have been raising kids for a long ass time so as a species we must be doing something right.

Humans basically

-Eat/Breath

-Work

-Breed/Raise kids

lol

we piss and shit too.

i have one brother who was just born evil.....there were 9 of us by then, and he was just evil as hell......needed his ass whooped on a daily basis.......and he ALWAYS did dangerous shit....he was the real life version of "The Good Son" with a little bit of "Omen" mixed in

Timmy84 said:

I always get concerned with how I would take care of my own child if I decide to have one. Because sometimes I think children definitely are either born good or bad so it depends. I've known of bad kids. Glad I didn't become one.

That's not the case.

Children haven't changed these so called adults have, Timmy. You use to able to say without doubt momma isn't anyone's fool, that's no longer the case. Men aren't excuse from this equation but as we know they can and do walk away from families everyday; women do and have raised children not stuck on stupid in spite of their absence. Contray the the bullshit being pushed and repeated now, "I tramatized because I didn't know my daddy." Give me a fucking break. .

My mother / parents ran a tight ship, you knew what their rules where, and the consequence for violating those rules. Spanking was the last resort and my mother used various methods of punishment. She had about six rules if broken automatically got you swats. Period. At that, my older brother and I can count on one hand (minus the thumb) the times we got a spanked, my middle brother was another story. Neither one of use recieved spanking after the age of 12. The 4 most important thing she did for use was.....

She never view her children through rose color glasses.

She didn't think we couldn't do no wrong.

She made it very clear she would always stand on the side of right if we did wrong. No excuses.

All males had to leave home at 18 whether they were prepared to leave or not.

We raised our daughter the same way... no issues.

TD3 said:

Timmy84 said:

I always get concerned with how I would take care of my own child if I decide to have one. Because sometimes I think children definitely are either born good or bad so it depends. I've known of bad kids. Glad I didn't become one.

That's not the case.

Children haven't changed these so called adults have, Timmy. You use to able to say without doubt momma isn't anyone's fool, that's no longer the case. Men aren't excuse from this equation but as we know they can and do walk away from families everyday; women do and have raised children not stuck on stupid in spite of their absence. Contray the the bullshit being pushed and repeated now, "I tramatized because I didn't know my daddy." Give me a fucking break. .

My mother / parents ran a tight ship, you knew what their rules where, and the consequence for violating those rules. Spanking was the last resort and my mother used various methods of punishment. She had about six rules if broken automatically got you swats. Period. At that, my older brother and I can count on one hand (minus the thumb) the times we got a spanked, my middle brother was another story. Neither one of use recieved spanking after the age of 12. The 4 most important thing she did for use was.....

She never view her children through rose color glasses.

She didn't think we couldn't do no wrong.

She made it very clear she would always stand on the side of right if we did wrong. No excuses.

All males had to leave home at 18 whether they were prepared to leave or not.

We raised our daughter the same way... no issues.

Not that I'm disagreeing because I used to think the same way and my mom raised no fools either but not everybody is gonna come out the same way.

StillGotIt said:

i have one brother who was just born evil.....there were 9 of us by then, and he was just evil as hell......needed his ass whooped on a daily basis.......and he ALWAYS did dangerous shit....he was the real life version of "The Good Son" with a little bit of "Omen" mixed in

lololol

that's what I was talkin'bout

is he still evil?

Timmy84 said:

I always get concerned with how I would take care of my own child if I decide to have one. Because sometimes I think children definitely are either born good or bad so it depends. I've known of bad kids. Glad I didn't become one.

There is no such thing as a bad kid in my book... the parenting plays a major role.

My grand niece was a bad assed kid... until she would be with me. She would straighten up. So did my sisters kids.... around me.

Now my grand neice has not seen me in a long time, due to her momma's rudeness. So that child is having a hard time in school again. Baby girl likes to fight. Why? Because her momma likes to fight too.

So, do not worry... its more about consistency and letting your no mean no. Children like structure and feel safer when a parent is consistent and predictable. When a child is used to hearing "no" they learn to be flexible and compromise.

Kids need balance, and any well adjusted adult can provide that balance of being told yes and no... all done in a loving and nurturing way.

Not all children do well with all forms or punishment... some things may work, others may not.

So it depends... each child is special and unique that way. They learn you and you learn them.

You teach them and they teach you... to be a better person. That is when you know you are doing it right.

I don't think kids are born good and bad, though I used to think like that. Everyone is wired a certain way and life experience may or may not trigger them.

My kids have gotten spanked.

Not beaten. Spanked.

They are older now, ages 9, 11 and 13, and there's no need for it any longer.

They are old enough to be able to be reasoned with (for the most part...the threat is always there).

I'm sorry but at the age of 3, the human mind cannot process a lengthy discussion about why trying to poke your finger in the electric socket or trying to run ahead of you crossing the street is bad.

My oldest got lectures about playing with matches, for example, all of the time. My ex likes candles. It was a constant discussion with a then-6 y.o.

One day he was caught lighting paper cups on fire in the bathroom.

He got spanked.

End of the pyro trend.

If you're grown enough to talk back, you're grown enough to get fucked up. Bernie Mac

[Edited 11/5/11 8:13am]

PurpleJedi said:

My kids have gotten spanked.

Not beaten. Spanked.

They are older now, ages 9, 11 and 13, and there's no need for it any longer.

They are old enough to be able to be reasoned with (for the most part...the threat is always there).

I'm sorry but at the age of 3, the human mind cannot process a lengthy discussion about why trying to poke your finger in the electric socket or trying to run ahead of you crossing the street is bad.

My oldest got lectures about playing with matches, for example, all of the time. My ex likes candles. It was a constant discussion with a then-6 y.o.

One day he was caught lighting paper cups on fire in the bathroom.

He got spanked.

End of the pyro trend.

We share the same views on parenting.

paintedlady said:

PurpleJedi said:

My kids have gotten spanked.

Not beaten. Spanked.

They are older now, ages 9, 11 and 13, and there's no need for it any longer.

They are old enough to be able to be reasoned with (for the most part...the threat is always there).

I'm sorry but at the age of 3, the human mind cannot process a lengthy discussion about why trying to poke your finger in the electric socket or trying to run ahead of you crossing the street is bad.

My oldest got lectures about playing with matches, for example, all of the time. My ex likes candles. It was a constant discussion with a then-6 y.o.

One day he was caught lighting paper cups on fire in the bathroom.

He got spanked.

End of the pyro trend.

We share the same views on parenting.

JoeTyler said:

StillGotIt said:

i have one brother who was just born evil.....there were 9 of us by then, and he was just evil as hell......needed his ass whooped on a daily basis.......and he ALWAYS did dangerous shit....he was the real life version of "The Good Son" with a little bit of "Omen" mixed in

lololol

that's what I was talkin'bout

is he still evil?

He's my brother but I will NEVER invite him over to my home or my spouse may end up whooping his ass. It would be my spouse because I'm just not strong enough to do it myself......

Genesia said:

If you're grown enough to talk back, you're old enough to get fucked up. Bernie Mac

[Edited 11/5/11 8:08am]

paintedlady said:

PurpleJedi said:

My kids have gotten spanked.

Not beaten. Spanked.

They are older now, ages 9, 11 and 13, and there's no need for it any longer.

They are old enough to be able to be reasoned with (for the most part...the threat is always there).

I'm sorry but at the age of 3, the human mind cannot process a lengthy discussion about why trying to poke your finger in the electric socket or trying to run ahead of you crossing the street is bad.

My oldest got lectures about playing with matches, for example, all of the time. My ex likes candles. It was a constant discussion with a then-6 y.o.

One day he was caught lighting paper cups on fire in the bathroom.

He got spanked.

End of the pyro trend.

We share the same views on parenting.

BklynBabe said:

Some (hell, many) adults could use a good ass-whooping with a belt! However, if your adult ass still has no ackrite, there is jail....

That sounds like a mineral deficiency.

Genesia said:

Genesia said:

Tremolina said:

What that judge did is worse than "beating up".

So you would be okay if I gave you a smack whenever your behaviour irritates the fuck out of me (which is often)?

What are you defending child abuse for exactly?

Because make no mistake: that's what it is.

[Flame snip - luv4u]

[Edited 11/4/11 10:26am]

[Snip - luv4u]

Timmy84 said:

Just hearing of what was going on the tape where a Texas judge beat his daughter in a tape about seven years ago when she was 16 had me thinking of what to do and what not to do when disciplining a child.

To some, if the kid becomes so annoying and ignorant that they can't even respect your rules, some swear at their children and spank their kids so hard that their butts had welts (I know, I had welts but my mom stopped when she saw them and decided not to spank me anymore around 5, 6, it was around 7 when she put me in time out - or in other words, get in your room and close your door and don't come out until I tell you too! - that I started to behave).

For others, when that don't work, parents (of all colors) use the method of spare the rod, don't spoil the child and in some of our neighborhoods, the saying, "beat them off to the white meat" (or something like that, correct me if that saying is wrong). But when you air it out on video like that, when does it become okay to do that?

Do all parents need to use FORCIBLE discipline on their children or what? I don't wanna act like I know what goes on in family households where the child becomes such a brat that the parents feel they can't do nothing but use attack methods but I don't know if all children need to be exposed to that.

I just wonder, you know, how far will YOU go as far as discipline your child?

No, parents do not need to use forcible discipline on their kids. They do it because they want to. No level of anger should rise in person that it makes them want to strike a child.

Now, let me preface what I am about to say with "I am not about to tell anyone what to do with their own kids" before I say this:

I received spankings, ass whoopings, beatings, whatever folks want to call them and it made me resent my mother. I have permanent scars, physically and mentally. I never have and never will spank my kids. I never wanted to do to them what someone did to me. I'm 42 and still think what my mother did to us was fucked up. I was a great kid that did 99% of what my mother told me to do because she was my mother and I respected that. But I hated her for what she did to us.

I've watched my sister spank her kids and it made them no better: it made my niece worse. My own daughter can be a total trainwreck but until she got to 12, I never ever had an issue with her. Should I have given her some spankings just because? Would she not be a brat now if I whooped her ass then? Should I have "whooped" her at 12? Now at 16?

"We survived it" makes no damn sense to me. If we watched a stranger strike a child, we would call the police. Striking another grown up is a crime but striking a child? Oh, I guess it's different because it's our own kid.

And it's obvious to me that the kid is not learning a lesson if the adult has to keep hitting them.

Vendetta1 said:

If we watched a stranger strike a child, we would call the police. Striking another grown up is a crime but striking a child? Oh, I guess it's different because it's our own kid.

Exactly. That I see as the biggest crime of parents who do this.

uPtoWnNY said:

Timmy84 said:

Just hearing of what was going on the tape where a Texas judge beat his daughter in a tape about seven years ago when she was 16 had me thinking of what to do and what not to do when disciplining a child.

To some, if the kid becomes so annoying and ignorant that they can't even respect your rules, some swear at their children and spank their kids so hard that their butts had welts (I know, I had welts but my mom stopped when she saw them and decided not to spank me anymore around 5, 6, it was around 7 when she put me in time out - or in other words, get in your room and close your door and don't come out until I tell you too! - that I started to behave).

For others, when that don't work, parents (of all colors) use the method of spare the rod, don't spoil the child and in some of our neighborhoods, the saying, "beat them off to the white meat" (or something like that, correct me if that saying is wrong). But when you air it out on video like that, when does it become okay to do that?

Do all parents need to use FORCIBLE discipline on their children or what? I don't wanna act like I know what goes on in family households where the child becomes such a brat that the parents feel they can't do nothing but use attack methods but I don't know if all children need to be exposed to that.

I just wonder, you know, how far will YOU go as far as discipline your child?

I'm a believer in old school discipline - 'spare the rod and spoil the child'. It's how I was raised and I'm a better man for it. Looking back, I'm glad I had a tough(but loving) father to keep me and my brother on the right path. You need that growing up in a tough neighborhood like the South Bronx.

Sounds like my father. We grew up in the heart of Newark, NJ (3 boys and 4 girls). Two of my brothers had friends that left a lot to be desired. So my father became the "Dad in the slippers, jeans and nightshirt pulling the teen outta the party because he told him to be home at midnight and now here it is 12:01". My brother Maurice said once they were outside the party a few punches to the rib cage were in order. Our father did what he thought necessary to keep my brothers on the straight and narrow. Unfortunately that meant jackin' them up and/or embarrassing them. sometimes.

That sounds harsh and our Dad actually says he has some regrets. However, my brother Barry said as recently as earlier this year that had our father not been the man he was he's not sure his life would have turned out as well as it has. Go figure.

-

Shaolin325 said:

uPtoWnNY said:

I'm a believer in old school discipline - 'spare the rod and spoil the child'. It's how I was raised and I'm a better man for it. Looking back, I'm glad I had a tough(but loving) father to keep me and my brother on the right path. You need that growing up in a tough neighborhood like the South Bronx.

Sounds like my father. We grew up in the heart of Newark, NJ (3 boys and 4 girls). Two of my brothers had friends that left a lot to be desired. So my father became the "Dad in the slippers, jeans and nightshirt pulling the teen outta the party because he told him to be home at midnight and now here it is 12:01". My brother Maurice said once they were outside the party a few punches to the rib cage were in order. Our father did what he thought necessary to keep my brothers on the straight and narrow. Unfortunately that meant jackin' them up and/or embarrassing them. sometimes.

That sounds harsh and our Dad actually says he has some regrets. However, my brother Barry said as recently as earlier this year that had our father not been the man he was he's not sure his life would have turned out as well as it has. Go figure.

-

Your last name isnt Gibbs is it?

Vendetta1 said:

Timmy84 said:

Just hearing of what was going on the tape where a Texas judge beat his daughter in a tape about seven years ago when she was 16 had me thinking of what to do and what not to do when disciplining a child.

To some, if the kid becomes so annoying and ignorant that they can't even respect your rules, some swear at their children and spank their kids so hard that their butts had welts (I know, I had welts but my mom stopped when she saw them and decided not to spank me anymore around 5, 6, it was around 7 when she put me in time out - or in other words, get in your room and close your door and don't come out until I tell you too! - that I started to behave).

For others, when that don't work, parents (of all colors) use the method of spare the rod, don't spoil the child and in some of our neighborhoods, the saying, "beat them off to the white meat" (or something like that, correct me if that saying is wrong). But when you air it out on video like that, when does it become okay to do that?

Do all parents need to use FORCIBLE discipline on their children or what? I don't wanna act like I know what goes on in family households where the child becomes such a brat that the parents feel they can't do nothing but use attack methods but I don't know if all children need to be exposed to that.

I just wonder, you know, how far will YOU go as far as discipline your child?

No, parents do not need to use forcible discipline on their kids. They do it because they want to. No level of anger should rise in person that it makes them want to strike a child.

Now, let me preface what I am about to say with "I am not about to tell anyone what to do with their own kids" before I say this:

I received spankings, ass whoopings, beatings, whatever folks want to call them and it made me resent my mother. I have permanent scars, physically and mentally. I never have and never will spank my kids. I never wanted to do to them what someone did to me. I'm 42 and still think what my mother did to us was fucked up. I was a great kid that did 99% of what my mother told me to do because she was my mother and I respected that. But I hated her for what she did to us.

I've watched my sister spank her kids and it made them no better: it made my niece worse. My own daughter can be a total trainwreck but until she got to 12, I never ever had an issue with her. Should I have given her some spankings just because? Would she not be a brat now if I whooped her ass then? Should I have "whooped" her at 12? Now at 16?

"We survived it" makes no damn sense to me. If we watched a stranger strike a child, we would call the police. Striking another grown up is a crime but striking a child? Oh, I guess it's different because it's our own kid.

And it's obvious to me that the kid is not learning a lesson if the adult has to keep hitting them.

You NEED to go have a talk with our fellow orger Dewere who claims that spanking is a "black people thang" .

Now you shouldn't have scars from any "spanking" and no... your daughter should not have been spanked.

Like I said before... if she had no ackright as a teen, she will come around and remember that you are a loving and giving mother.

I did spank my kids on a few occasions... but never in anger and never to hurt them.

Now what hurts me just as much as spankings is verbal abuse... and I HATE it when parents call their children names.

Its just never good to deal with children in any manner when you are angry.

Timmy84 said:

TD3 said:

That's not the case.

Children haven't changed these so called adults have, Timmy. You use to able to say without doubt momma isn't anyone's fool, that's no longer the case. Men aren't excuse from this equation but as we know they can and do walk away from families everyday; women do and have raised children not stuck on stupid in spite of their absence. Contray the the bullshit being pushed and repeated now, "I tramatized because I didn't know my daddy." Give me a fucking break. .

My mother / parents ran a tight ship, you knew what their rules where, and the consequence for violating those rules. Spanking was the last resort and my mother used various methods of punishment. She had about six rules if broken automatically got you swats. Period. At that, my older brother and I can count on one hand (minus the thumb) the times we got a spanked, my middle brother was another story. Neither one of use recieved spanking after the age of 12. The 4 most important thing she did for use was.....

She never view her children through rose color glasses.

She didn't think we couldn't do no wrong.

She made it very clear she would always stand on the side of right if we did wrong. No excuses.

All males had to leave home at 18 whether they were prepared to leave or not.

We raised our daughter the same way... no issues.

Not that I'm disagreeing because I used to think the same way and my mom raised no fools either but not everybody is gonna come out the same way.

No people are not going to come out the same way. It seems to me you maybe thinking interms fo nature vs nurture. Believe me in most instances , the problems in our country our community is an issue of nurture. As I've said, the children aren't the problem, the clueless adults are.

tinaz said:

Shaolin325 said:

Sounds like my father. We grew up in the heart of Newark, NJ (3 boys and 4 girls). Two of my brothers had friends that left a lot to be desired. So my father became the "Dad in the slippers, jeans and nightshirt pulling the teen outta the party because he told him to be home at midnight and now here it is 12:01". My brother Maurice said once they were outside the party a few punches to the rib cage were in order. Our father did what he thought necessary to keep my brothers on the straight and narrow. Unfortunately that meant jackin' them up and/or embarrassing them. sometimes.

That sounds harsh and our Dad actually says he has some regrets. However, my brother Barry said as recently as earlier this year that had our father not been the man he was he's not sure his life would have turned out as well as it has. Go figure.

-

Your last name isnt Gibbs is it?

IT IS...................not

-

Genesia said:

If you're grown enough to talk back, you're grown enough to get fucked up. Bernie Mac

[Edited 11/5/11 8:13am]

Ahaha

My mom: "If you bad enough to talk shit, you bad enough to get fucked up."