I'm stuck in bed with the flu. Is there anybody in Europe not having a cold or the flu?

I went to London for a blind date of 5 days. And that worked out very well. The Englisman is great and I love him dearly. We spend gazing in eachothers' eyes and after a few days in eachothers' bodies.

He makes me laugh, he's funny, little bit dorky, knows his music, works in music industry so has no money, took me to art exhibitions, and is as lunatic as I am. Together that seems to work out pretty good.

Because I don't have a career at the moment, for me it's easyer to move to London. My cat will not like his appartment, because he won't be able to go outside. That's about the only downside of moving there.

So, I'm considering moving to London for a 6 months trial period. Most of my friends know my impulsive character, and this time they actually don't hold me back. They seem to think I should give it a try, I can allways come back to Amsterdam when I want to.

Any tips about moving to London/ other country?

London's a great city. I'm also hoping to move out there once I get settled in a new job. You've got amazing arts and culture on your doorstep - free museums, lots of music venues, great shopping, theatre scene, etc. Despite all the flak it gets it's an extremely cosmopolitan city with a great general buzz. Coming from Amsterdam I think you'd settle in well there. Tips are - be warned it is expensive, especially within central London and as with many places currently competition for jobs is fierce. The trial period is probably wise. Good luck if you go for it!

You're moving in with some guy you've known for 5 days?

JustErin said:

You're moving in with some guy you've known for 5 days?

A big part of me wants to tell you to reconsider, being as how a 5-day relationship is hardly the basis for such a life-changing decision.

However, as a fellow member of the O.D.C., I can't really be a naysayer because I've come dangerously close to packing my bags and heading West at various times over the past few months. In fact, if it weren't for the 3 little ones, I might have been typing this reply from San Diego or some other spot as far from NY as possible.

So DJJ, if you go through with this, do it for yourself first & foremost, and make sure that you can stand on your own no matter how it goes with the BF.

You should probably ask shanti (Val).

spontaneity is good. and so is caution. good luck!

You are "considering". Did he ask you? Why doesn't he come over to Amsterdam? What are you going to do with your house. Your cat is gonna hate you lockig him up. If he is not making any money, and you neither, how you two gonna meet ends? London is twice is expensive as Amsterdam.

i should tell you not to do it, because it sounds dangerous to leave everything you know and move in with someone in another country you've only spent 5 days with. however, i went to brazil from the usa on a 10 day mission trip, met a man at the church i was working with, fell in-love during the 10 days. and ended up living with a house full of strangers for 7 months while i got to know him better. then we married. so i am the wrong person to give advice.

Tremolina said:

You are "considering". Did he ask you? Why doesn't he come over to Amsterdam? What are you going to do with your house. Your cat is gonna hate you lockig him up. If he is not making any money, and you neither, how you two gonna meet ends? London is twice is expensive as Amsterdam.

Yeah, that.

Do what feels right to you, but be prepared if it doesn't turn out the way you've imagined it.

If I were you, I'd go on a (cheap, if resources are limited) holiday for a week or two first, see how that turns out.

If you two really hit it off, you can always decide on moving in together. And please do realise that life in London is more expensive than it is in Amsterdam.

Wish you all the best!

dJJ said:

I'm stuck in bed with the flu. Is there anybody in Europe not having a cold or the flu?

I went to London for a blind date of 5 days. And that worked out very well. The Englisman is great and I love him dearly. We spend gazing in eachothers' eyes and after a few days in eachothers' bodies.

He makes me laugh, he's funny, little bit dorky, knows his music, works in music industry so has no money, took me to art exhibitions, and is as lunatic as I am. Together that seems to work out pretty good.

Because I don't have a career at the moment, for me it's easyer to move to London. My cat will not like his appartment, because he won't be able to go outside. That's about the only downside of moving there.

So, I'm considering moving to London for a 6 months trial period. Most of my friends know my impulsive character, and this time they actually don't hold me back. They seem to think I should give it a try, I can allways come back to Amsterdam when I want to.

Any tips about moving to London/ other country?

I am all for taking chances. (Being bipolar I live for it).

However what MacDaddy and Tremolina said is very true. I have up and moved more than once and lost a lot of money because I had to replace belongings. If you put your stuff in storage that still is $$ spent and you have implied you don't have a lot of cash.

Get him to come to Amsterdam for 5 days at least. He needs to come out of his safety zone and take a few chances. I am not saying this relationship lacks hope; just PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

If I was you I'd do it . I did something similar myself whcih probably was more of a risk. As you say that you can always return to Amsterdam I don't see it as such a huge decision. Be careful, but if you feel it's the right thing to do then go for it! I wish you all the best!

Well, Tremolina did point out an important issue. I love my cat. And my cat is very claustrophobic.

He has a nice appartment in London centre, however, not as big as mine and no garden/outside area where my cat can have his adventereous private cat life.

On the other hand, my cat might be able to adjust. Or I can train him to go and have a daily walk in the park with me. (Don't laugh, I can train him to do that!)

And I know London is expensive. However, they do have a lidl overthere too. So, I'm good for the coffee, cheese, diary and vegetables.

And it won't be forever. It's because I don't have a career that keeps me in Amsterdam, while he does have one in London. He doesn't earn enough for me to be a kept woman, however, I'm used to not having a lot money overhere. So, I can get a job overthere, with our combined income we'll be okay.

I'm more worried about leaving my neighbours and friends. It's not that I see them that often, it's just the idea that I can get on my bike and see them.

That's another issue. I don't like the tube. I want my bike. I think I will need to get my bike overthere, because I hate the walking long distances and then having to go trough the whole tube system. I'd rather hop on my bike and just go.

And maybe in a year or so, we'll move to Amsterdam. It's not that when I go there now, it will be forever.

Maybe it doesn't work out at all. Then I'll be back in no time. Or it does work out between us, however, I don't handle London. Then we'll have to go to Amsterdam together.

And yes, he's coming over to Amsterdam for a weekend. However, I don't think I want to do this long distance thing for more than 6 months. I'm too inpatient for that.

Genesia said:

JustErin said:

You're moving in with some guy you've known for 5 days?

Yes, you two are right.

I never claimed sanity, now did I?

In my defense, he does have a sound reference though. We were coupled by two mutual friends, two sisters. I'm very close to one sister (who lives in Amsterdam) and he's one of the best friends of the other sister (living in London) whom I also know. I know that both sisters are scrupulous when it comes to friends. They don't deal with anybody who is fake, dishonest, poser, tea party voter, or in any other way would not be wortwhile to spend time with.

The sisters' coupling intervention worked out very well for this English Gentleman and me.

dJJ said:

Genesia said:

Yes, you two are right.

I never claimed sanity, now did I?

In my defense, he does have a sound reference though. We were coupled by two mutual friends, two sisters. I'm very close to one sister (who lives in Amsterdam) and he's one of the best friends of the other sister (living in London) whom I also know. I know that both sisters are scrupulous when it comes to friends. They don't deal with anybody who is fake, dishonest, poser, tea party voter, or in any other way would not be wortwhile to spend time with.

The sisters' coupling intervention worked out very well for this English Gentleman and me.

life is short. follow your heart and have an exit plan just in case wish you the best!

dJJ said:

Well, Tremolina did point out an important issue. I love my cat. And my cat is very claustrophobic.

He has a nice appartment in London centre, however, not as big as mine and no garden/outside area where my cat can have his adventereous private cat life.

But what about your own appartment in Amsterdam? Did you also consider already what living together abroad with him would mean for your maintenance allowance you fought so hard for?

Maybe you could start off by spending a couple of months there and he here in Amsterdam, see how that works out first, before you make any (hasty) decisions you (or your cat) may later regret?

But most of all: did he ask you to come and live with him?

Tremolina said:

dJJ said:

Well, Tremolina did point out an important issue. I love my cat. And my cat is very claustrophobic.

He has a nice appartment in London centre, however, not as big as mine and no garden/outside area where my cat can have his adventereous private cat life.

But what about your own appartment in Amsterdam? Did you also consider already what living together abroad with him would mean for your maintenance allowance you fought so hard for?

Maybe you could start off by spending a couple of months there and he here in Amsterdam, see how that works out first, before you make any (hasty) decisions you (or your cat) may later regret?

But most of all: did he ask you to come and live with him?

He has a nice job that is pretty rare. It's sort of a boys dreamjob, and he's open to giving that up for moving to Amsterdam. However, I think that doesn't make sense, because I don't have a dream job at the moment. Well, I do have a great job. However, it pays nothing and I can easily do it in London.

And yes, he has asked to live with him, he's as smitten as I am.

I'm not saying that I will move forever, just a trial period for 6 months. I can rent out my A'dam apartment for that period and experience London.

If I don't try, we will just be having dates every 3 or 4 weeks, with a lot of e-mailing in between. I'm way to inpatient for that. And it takes too long to see if we are just ecstatic in love, however, not a match for a serious relationship. Or that we actually can manage a relationship and be together. I think it's worth finding out.

The most negative thing is that my cat doesn't have an outside in London and knowing him, he will not cope with that very well. However, the cat also doesn't cope with being separated from me (and vice versa) so I will bring him along.

And no worries. I'm horrible at planning and getting things done. So, in my life there's a significant time lapse between idea and actualing achieving the goal.

dJJ said:

Tremolina said:

But what about your own appartment in Amsterdam? Did you also consider already what living together abroad with him would mean for your maintenance allowance you fought so hard for?

Maybe you could start off by spending a couple of months there and he here in Amsterdam, see how that works out first, before you make any (hasty) decisions you (or your cat) may later regret?

But most of all: did he ask you to come and live with him?

He has a nice job that is pretty rare. It's sort of a boys dreamjob, and he's open to giving that up for moving to Amsterdam. However, I think that doesn't make sense, because I don't have a dream job at the moment. Well, I do have a great job. However, it pays nothing and I can easily do it in London.

And yes, he has asked to live with him, he's as smitten as I am.

I'm not saying that I will move forever, just a trial period for 6 months. I can rent out my A'dam apartment for that period and experience London.

If I don't try, we will just be having dates every 3 or 4 weeks, with a lot of e-mailing in between. I'm way to inpatient for that. And it takes too long to see if we are just ecstatic in love, however, not a match for a serious relationship. Or that we actually can manage a relationship and be together. I think it's worth finding out.

The most negative thing is that my cat doesn't have an outside in London and knowing him, he will not cope with that very well. However, the cat also doesn't cope with being separated from me (and vice versa) so I will bring him along.

And no worries. I'm horrible at planning and getting things done. So, in my life there's a significant time lapse between idea and actualing achieving the goal.

Good. Then you don't have to think for him either what makes sense and what his "dreamjob" is. That's up to him.

If I were you, I would get him to come to Amsterdam first for a month or so. If that works out, do your 6 month thing in London.

Tremolina said:

Good. Then you don't have to think for him either what makes sense and what his "dreamjob" is. That's up to him.

If I were you, I would get him to come to Amsterdam first for a month or so. If that works out, do your 6 month thing in London.

True. Thanks for pointing that out for me.

PurpleJedi said:

A big part of me wants to tell you to reconsider, being as how a 5-day relationship is hardly the basis for such a life-changing decision.

However, as a fellow member of the O.D.C., I can't really be a naysayer because I've come dangerously close to packing my bags and heading West at various times over the past few months. In fact, if it weren't for the 3 little ones, I might have been typing this reply from San Diego or some other spot as far from NY as possible.

So DJJ, if you go through with this, do it for yourself first & foremost, and make sure that you can stand on your own no matter how it goes with the BF.

There are a lot of AMAZING things in Cali and the Bay is a wonderful place to live and grow

LadyCasanova said:

PurpleJedi said:

A big part of me wants to tell you to reconsider, being as how a 5-day relationship is hardly the basis for such a life-changing decision.

However, as a fellow member of the O.D.C., I can't really be a naysayer because I've come dangerously close to packing my bags and heading West at various times over the past few months. In fact, if it weren't for the 3 little ones, I might have been typing this reply from San Diego or some other spot as far from NY as possible.

So DJJ, if you go through with this, do it for yourself first & foremost, and make sure that you can stand on your own no matter how it goes with the BF.

There are a lot of AMAZING things in Cali and the Bay is a wonderful place to live and grow

Yeah, I know there's this one particular thing that I want to experience out there...