...what can I do to finish off the trilogy?

Oh, the agony of editing...
[This message was edited Tue Feb 18 5:53:24 PST 2003 by IceNine]

Trim your moustache?

Dude, you haven't posted for shit lately! I'm really worried about you...

listen 2 Ps Alphabet st. or my name is Prince...

2 cool off and finish the shit u're about 2 do...

i'm the one who's siucidal here... but not right now1

my sugestion,
hop in the camaro, tool down to the mall in a pair of acid washed jeans. buy a copy of the latest cd of mariah carey or celine dion (either will do), pop it the cd player blast it at 10, stop at mcdonalds order anything, but make sure it's super sized. woof it down. go home and start watching springer, montel, jenny jones, any of them will do. that should tip you over the scale.

IceNine said:

Welcome back...be good now...
As far as finishing off the trilogy, I say back up...back up again...now you should be back where you were before you were bored and horribly depressed.

medoc2003 said:

Hey...hahahaha...that springer/montel/jennyjones thing would do it!
But we don't really want to put him over the edge do we?
McDonald's?
Mariah?
acid washed jeans?

celine dion? watch it, now

Well, masturbating with a cheese-grater will alleviate some of the boredom, though it might make you even more depressed.

Go get some ass.

You might find this amazing, but I have no sense of humor... I feel much like a brick of shit floating toward some kind of shit crushing device that was created by a demented fecophiliac.

IceNine said:

Go look for God.

Cloudbuster said:

Oh, great... a snipe hunt.

Pamper yourself! Go get your fur brushed and styled, your nails trimmed and clipped. Do cute little human things with your hands, like getting some clams and oysters and bash them open on rocks with your cute little paws/hands.

Don't be depressed! You have no idea how cute and adorable you really are! I just want to squeeze you 'til you stay!

try sliding down a few hills and landing !splooosh! in a lake. you otter types tend like that stuff a lot.

I have lost sight of all things that give me pleasure, barring my son... otherwise, I am out of ideas.

EDIT: I am so fucking depressed that I keep fucking up everything that I post... this is sad.
[This message was edited Tue Feb 18 7:10:16 PST 2003 by IceNine]

IceNine said:

Dammit IceNine! Stop it!

Ah, depression isn't something you can just miraculously cure. It's a case of living with it and surviving it.

That said, watching some old Monty Python vids usually gets me laughing pretty quickly And having a good old blast on my games consoles soon distracts me from how shit everything is around me

Did you know that in Ratchet & Clank on the PS2, you can disguise yourself as a big stupid b-movie robot, and when you wave hello at other security robots they wave back at you? Now that I know this, I can't stop running around waving at robots and laughing when they wave back.

Maybe I'm easily pleased.

ian said:

The only problem is that I have given games and things a shot... they are just not working for me. I have about as much interest in games and movies right now as in watching wood petrify.

POOK said:

I don't even have a bloodlust right now. I would just as soon sleep as murder someone.

LaVisHh said:

I am trying... it is not working.

Where the fuck is Big Ed MacMahon when you need his geriatric ass and his fucking oversized check?

I just asked my new manager to lay me off... he said "no."
I asked him to fire me so that I could get unemployment... he said "no." Furthermore, he said that you don't get unemployment if you are fired. I asked him not to fire me.
I cannot get unemployment if I quit either...

IceNine said:

OK THEN

TAKE NAP

THEN WHEN RESTED COME BACK AND WE ATTACK!

POOK HAVE ALL DAY

PLUS

REAL WORD FOR LOVING POO IS CORPOPHILIAC

TRUST POOK ON THESE THINGS

POOK said:

I know about coprophilia... I was going for the South Park reference. When Kyle first brought out Mr. Hankey...

My depression stunts the effectiveness of my South Park references.

EDIT: Here is the South Park reference in question:

Counselor: Now, uh, Kyle, as your school counselor, uh I want to try and help you confront your problems, 'kay?
Kyle: I don't have a problem.
Counselor: Well it-it's my undertanding that you umhm, yu-you have an acute case of fecophilia.
Kyle: What's that?
Counselor: Well-uh, a fecophiliac is somebody who's obsessed with mookie-stinks, Kyle.
Kyle: Mookie-stinks?
Counselor: Now I also understand that you're Jewish-Is that right, Kyle?
Kyle: Wull, not on purpose.
Counselor: So this must be a pretty hard time of year for you, being Christmas and all. Do the other kids make fun of ya?
Kyle: Well, sometimes�
Counselor: And that must make you mad.
Kyle: Well sure.
Counselor: Mad enough to kill, Kyle??? [looks at him up close]
Kyle: No, dude!
Counselor: Oh that's good. You see, Kyle, sometimes we feel like an outsider, we-we create friends, Okay-in our minds, Okay?
Kyle: But Mr. Hankey seemed so real�
Counselor: Well of course he does; in your screwed-up little head he's the only friend you have. [sips from his coffee cup]
Mr. Hankey: [now bathing in the cup] Kyle! [Kyle lowers his head] Howdy-ho. [Kyle is shocked]
Counselor: Right now you're nuttier than Chinese chicken salad, mkay-I mean, you're one screwed-up little kid do you understand?
[Kyle looks back up in horror at the counselor, who takes another sip of coffee. Kyle closes his eyes in dread anticipation]
Mr. Hankey: [still bathing in the counselor's coffee]
Santa's loaded up his sleigh
flying around his merry way�
Counselor: To try and stay positive stay away from drug and alcohol, and in the meantime I'm gonna put you on a heavy regimen of Prozac [notices his cup and gasps. A piece of poo is floating around in it] Uuuuuugghh-oh my God, you sick little monkey! [Kyle's mouth is twisted with chagrin]

...
[This message was edited Tue Feb 18 7:22:44 PST 2003 by IceNine]

If you're too bored/depressed to wank it, something's definitely wrong...

IceNine said:

Well then how in fuck does one go about getting unemployment?

CalhounSq said:

Getting a hard-on right now is about as likely as seeing an authentic picture of John Wayne's droopy nuts dangling in a Fry Daddy brand deep fryer.

teller said:

Tha only way I know of is to get laid off.

teller said:

From what I gather, you must get laid off...

I asked if they would lay me off and they said "no" and that I should gently fuck myself with a dildo strapped to a jackhammer. Who says that these people don't care?

teller said:

I think he "the manager" might be lying. I was fired once & I could swear I got unemployment... BUT it was a temporary position, not sure if that had anything to do w/ it. You should check out the guidelines...