JustErin said:

Tittypants said:

I've always wondered this too. This has never made sense to me....

I don't want to date a dude with kids because a) I don't want to deal with the kid's mother - which most times than not is full of drama and b) I've never wanted to care for more than one child.

And it really doesn't bother me if men don't want to date a woman with a kid/kids. If I was a single man, I would feel the same way.

This answers a couple of things about you for me. I just picked up on it.....

The truth of the matter is... many people do not want to help raise children they feel no connection to.

You need to meet a like minded individual who shares the same rules on parenting if your are going to either raise their children or have that person step in an raise your own.

So, many people do not date people with kids because they think the kids will give them too much grief/work.

I now understand that and respect that.. but that is an assumption on a person's part that they will be invited to be a part of the family/marriage if they date a person with chidlren.

Some people only want to date to feel like a woman again and are not looking for stepdads for their kids.

The same with single fathers.... some parents just don't want marriage or to move someone in.

I've dated a few women who had children. I dunno. If you've been on your own for years, making the leap from single man to significant other/husband/father all at once can be a daunting concept, especially if the child misses their (absentee) father.

To Luv4u's point that it says a lot about a single man who loses interest when he learns of a woman's kids, sometimes his decision to stop pursuing is about concern for the children and where they are emotionally, not just a matter of "convenience."

No. Period.

Graycap23 said:

No. Period.

No Period, huh?

You only date menopausal women?

PANDURITO said:

Graycap23 said:

No. Period.

No Period, huh?

You only date menopausal women?

me me me me me me ........

paintedlady said:

Tittypants said:

I've always wondered this too. This has never made sense to me....

Depends...I speculate that..

Its a control issue.

A woman with kids may not date a guy with kids because the children will not want a man in the household and become territorial with their mom. Espscially if the woman thinks men will not grow to love her children as their own.

I'm missing something here. What does this have to do with whether or not the man has children?

[Edited 10/20/11 9:33am]

Of course

If you truly love someone and they happen to have children , so be it

I will love them , because i love her

sextonseven said:

paintedlady said:

Depends...I speculate that..

Its a control issue.

A woman with kids may not date a guy with kids because the children will not want a man in the household and become territorial with their mom. Espscially if the woman thinks men will not grow to love her children as their own.

I'm missing something here. What does this have to do with whether or not the man has children?

[Edited 10/20/11 9:33am]

yeah... I need to proof read... I went on a tangent...

A single mother would not date a man with kids because the kids from both sides may not get along... and parenting styles might not be the same.

edit.

[Edited 10/20/11 17:50pm]

Dewrede said:

Of course

If you truly love someone and they happen to have children , so be it

I will love them , because i love her

All that and then some.

I don't prefer to date men with children but if I had to, then one would be the limit.

paintedlady said:

sextonseven said:

I'm missing something here. What does this have to do with whether or not the man has children?

[Edited 10/20/11 9:33am]

yeah... I need to proof read... I went on a tangent...

A single mother would not date a man with kids because the kids from both sides may not get along... and parenting styles are (may not be) not the same.

edit.

[Edited 10/20/11 9:51am]

I see. Thanks.

the kid will hate you and if you have one word of criticism for the child, the mother will tell you to fuck off.

avoid.

whistle said:

the kid will hate you and if you have one word of criticism for the child, the mother will tell you to fuck off.

This is really not true.

[EDIT: I mean, maybe sometimes, but not in every case]

[Edited 10/20/11 13:44pm]

It's fine, but probably a good idea to not get involved with the kids right away until you know whether the relationship is going to last or not.

Don't want to manipulate their feelings unnecessarily.

Tittypants said:

JustErin said:

I don't want to date a dude with kids because a) I don't want to deal with the kid's mother - which most times than not is full of drama and b) I've never wanted to care for more than one child.

And it really doesn't bother me if men don't want to date a woman with a kid/kids. If I was a single man, I would feel the same way.

This answers a couple of things about you for me. I just picked up on it.....

I am not sure what to think of this comment.

Done this many times over the years....Eye love kids...Ive had some happy times dating women and getting 2 no there kids....but when u build up that bond with the children and the relationship doesnt work out and u no longer see those kids it can b painful....

In 1986 i was seeing this woman with a daughter of 3.....Eye got so close 2 this girl....fed her/got her outfits 2 wear even slept with her and and her mum it was lovely.

Then we fell out...didnt see them again 4 many years...Last year on a hot sunny day walking thru a park eye noticed this hot sexy thing...looked like mel B...As eye looked her up and down....2 my horror eye recognized her mother...It was her!!!!!!And the hot thing eye was eyeing up was the 3 year old that had grown up ..........grown up alot.....Eye swear if eye hadnt of seen her mother eye would have hit that....There is nothing wrong with dating women with kids.....Just a warning....U get attached 2 them and if ur relationship ends u will miss them and it will b painful....And theres always the chance that 20 years down the line the girl whos nappy u once changed...who is now in her 20s and grown and u no longer recognize u could meet and have the hots 4...... ......Funny world;-)

NDRU said:

It's fine, but probably a good idea to not get involved with the kids right away until you know whether the relationship is going to last or not.

Don't want to manipulate their feelings unnecessarily.

This is what I find hard. I have worked with children for years and love them alot, in fact, I end

up loving the kids more then the man himself.

I'm also aware of how hard it is for a child when they start to love you, and then you aren't there

anymore...especially if that is the relationship they have with their other birth parent.

I dated a guy with a 2 year old boy (his mom up and split) and I am still in contact with them

because of the son. Now, I won't meet your children until we have been seeing one another

for a little while. I won't sleep at your place, have my clothes there etc until we've had time to

talk to the child(ren).

davetherave6767 said:

Done this many times over the years....Eye love kids...Ive had some happy times dating women and getting 2 no there kids....but when u build up that bond with the children and the relationship doesnt work out and u no longer see those kids it can b painful....

In 1986 i was seeing this woman with a daughter of 3.....Eye got so close 2 this girl....fed her/got her outfits 2 wear even slept with her and and her mum it was lovely.

Then we fell out...didnt see them again 4 many years...Last year on a hot sunny day walking thru a park eye noticed this hot sexy thing...looked like mel B...As eye looked her up and down....2 my horror eye recognized her mother...It was her!!!!!!And the hot thing eye was eyeing up was the 3 year old that had grown up ..........grown up alot.....Eye swear if eye hadnt of seen her mother eye would have hit that....There is nothing wrong with dating women with kids.....Just a warning....U get attached 2 them and if ur relationship ends u will miss them and it will b painful....And theres always the chance that 20 years down the line the girl whos nappy u once changed...who is now in her 20s and grown and u no longer recognize u could meet and have the hots 4...... ......Funny world;-)

that's actually sad Dave, that u treated her like your own and lost her like that

do you think that she recognised you??? do you think her mum recognised you??? do you think she remembers all the wonderful things you did for her???? i hope she remembers you and i hope her thoughts and memories about you are special!!!!

FuzzyWitch said:

davetherave6767 said:

Done this many times over the years....Eye love kids...Ive had some happy times dating women and getting 2 no there kids....but when u build up that bond with the children and the relationship doesnt work out and u no longer see those kids it can b painful....

In 1986 i was seeing this woman with a daughter of 3.....Eye got so close 2 this girl....fed her/got her outfits 2 wear even slept with her and and her mum it was lovely.

Then we fell out...didnt see them again 4 many years...Last year on a hot sunny day walking thru a park eye noticed this hot sexy thing...looked like mel B...As eye looked her up and down....2 my horror eye recognized her mother...It was her!!!!!!And the hot thing eye was eyeing up was the 3 year old that had grown up ..........grown up alot.....Eye swear if eye hadnt of seen her mother eye would have hit that....There is nothing wrong with dating women with kids.....Just a warning....U get attached 2 them and if ur relationship ends u will miss them and it will b painful....And theres always the chance that 20 years down the line the girl whos nappy u once changed...who is now in her 20s and grown and u no longer recognize u could meet and have the hots 4...... ......Funny world;-)

that's actually sad Dave, that u treated her like your own and lost her like that

do you think that she recognised you??? do you think her mum recognised you??? do you think she remembers all the wonderful things you did for her???? i hope she remembers you and i hope her thoughts and memories about you are special!!!!

Ive done this many times fuzzywitch....get so close 2 these kids and them 2 me....then something goes wrong and im gone....People dating women with kids must think long and hard b4 they get in 2 deep....The mother said hello but had 2 joke about how Dave uesd 2 look after u when u were a toddler....It was hard 2 believe that was the girl eye used 2 bounce on my knee and feed and put in the bath...

davetherave6767 said:

FuzzyWitch said:

that's actually sad Dave, that u treated her like your own and lost her like that

do you think that she recognised you??? do you think her mum recognised you??? do you think she remembers all the wonderful things you did for her???? i hope she remembers you and i hope her thoughts and memories about you are special!!!!

Ive done this many times fuzzywitch....get so close 2 these kids and them 2 me....then something goes wrong and im gone....People dating women with kids must think long and hard b4 they get in 2 deep....The mother said hello but had 2 joke about how Dave uesd 2 look after u when u were a toddler....It was hard 2 believe that was the girl eye used 2 bounce on my knee and feed and put in the bath...

That's why I don't believe it is a good idea for single parents to introduce anyone they're dating, unless it's very serious, like putting a ring on it for an example.

angel345 said:

davetherave6767 said:

Ive done this many times fuzzywitch....get so close 2 these kids and them 2 me....then something goes wrong and im gone....People dating women with kids must think long and hard b4 they get in 2 deep....The mother said hello but had 2 joke about how Dave uesd 2 look after u when u were a toddler....It was hard 2 believe that was the girl eye used 2 bounce on my knee and feed and put in the bath...

That's why I don't believe it is a good idea for single parents to introduce anyone they're dating, unless it's very serious, like putting a ring on it for an example.

A what now....................did u say ring???

JustErin said:

Tittypants said:

This answers a couple of things about you for me. I just picked up on it.....

I am not sure what to think of this comment.

good.

davetherave6767 said:

angel345 said:

That's why I don't believe it is a good idea for single parents to introduce anyone they're dating, unless it's very serious, like putting a ring on it for an example.

A what now....................did u say ring???

At least you will see the kids often. Your option

I would be open to it. I would not rule anything like that out at the starting gate.

angel345 said:

davetherave6767 said:

A what now....................did u say ring???

At least you will see the kids often. Your option

Been there done that ........Even with a ring it failed...lifes a bitch..but u move on ...

Deadflow3r said:

I would be open to it. I would not rule anything like that out at the starting gate.

I was considering stability for the kids, instead of seeing their parents with men/women in and out of their lives.

davetherave6767 said:

angel345 said:

At least you will see the kids often. Your option

Been there done that ........Even with a ring it failed...lifes a bitch..but u move on ...

Sorry about that

angel345 said:

Deadflow3r said:

I would be open to it. I would not rule anything like that out at the starting gate.

I was considering stability for the kids, instead of seeing their parents with men/women in and out of their lives.

As a single mom of a daughter (that currently lives with my sister) I have read articles and even books on the subject since her birth. ( I left her father when she was one month old).

Mosting dating parents choose not to involve their children in the dating process at all. They don't want their children to get attached to adults that may no longer be in their lives in a year.

I hope to begin dating soon. As I said my daughter does not stay with me right now so I am not afraid of dating. My daughter is very physically beautiful in many peoples opinion. I have had men compliment her beauty one too many times for my liking. I am frightened of her having a man in her life that formed an unhealthy bond with her.

I also do not want to hang out with the children of men early on. There is no need to find out if I like your children if we are not sure about each other.