Thanks guys. Mostly I just don't want us to be at odds with each other. If we don't talk at all that's fine as long as it's something that's happened placidly and not out of anger I guess.

If I ignore her birthday, it seems like I'm angry at her. Which I guess I am. But I don't want her to think that. LOL. I'm so confused!

nd33 said:

I'm not one to hold grudges.

I'd send a one liner email. She's been a significant part of your life so far. No harm whatsoever.

Just don't expect a reply. If you feel like doing it, do it with complete selflessness.

The benefit for you, is it'll take 2 seconds and then you can stop thinking about it.

I understand everybody's point. However, I agree with this one mostly.

Just send her a short; happy birthday, hope you have a nice day, enjoy! e-mail.

Then it's off your chest and you don't need to get in contact with her on the phone. So you can stay out of the emotional drama that's unnecessarry and not doing any good for either of you.

dJJ said:

nd33 said:

I'm not one to hold grudges.

I'd send a one liner email. She's been a significant part of your life so far. No harm whatsoever.

Just don't expect a reply. If you feel like doing it, do it with complete selflessness.

The benefit for you, is it'll take 2 seconds and then you can stop thinking about it.

I understand everybody's point. However, I agree with this one mostly.

Just send her a short; happy birthday, hope you have a nice day, enjoy! e-mail.

Then it's off your chest and you don't need to get in contact with her on the phone. So you can stay out of the emotional drama that's unnecessarry and not doing any good for either of you.

Thanks. I think I'll do that.

dJJ said:

nd33 said:

I'm not one to hold grudges.

I'd send a one liner email. She's been a significant part of your life so far. No harm whatsoever.

Just don't expect a reply. If you feel like doing it, do it with complete selflessness.

The benefit for you, is it'll take 2 seconds and then you can stop thinking about it.

I understand everybody's point. However, I agree with this one mostly.

Just send her a short; happy birthday, hope you have a nice day, enjoy! e-mail.

Then it's off your chest and you don't need to get in contact with her on the phone. So you can stay out of the emotional drama that's unnecessarry and not doing any good for either of you.

Yeah , that's better . Be the bigger person .

if you left me dog shyt at the door....you wouldnt worry about haveing to see me again..ev.er.

Eye havnt spoken 2 my x wife in 12 years and will keep that up 4 another 30........So what am eye saying......O yeh........Fuck her....Talking 2u like that......Dont b soft Militant she will pick up on ur weakness....Just look after urself and Fuck her off........................................If u can??......Id make a good relate counseller.....

[Edited 10/5/11 14:08pm]

run away! fast! good luck!

Militant said:

So it's my ex-wife's birthday tomorrow. The thing is, we haven't spoken in nearly 3 weeks. We had tried to be friends and I'd even calmed her down on the phone a few times after the divorce when she felt really depressed etc. But 3 weeks ago, she blew up at me over the most ridiculous stupid minor thing, and unlike when we were married, I wasn't going to apologise just to try and calm the situation down even though I hadn't done anything wrong.

That conversation ended with her saying "fuck you" and "so much for being friends, wait what did i expect, you were an even worse husband". after all the times I tried to help and be there for her, that's what I get.

So anyway we haven't spoken since then but now I'm aware that it's her birthday tomorrow. What to do? Write a message on her facebook (lol, really impersonal). Ignore her completely? Send her a private happy birthday message/text/email?

I feel like it would be really petty to ignore her but at the same time.... I dunno, like why should I be the one to have to re-open a line of communication just because of circumstance? Our last conversation and the silence since seems like a pretty big statement on her end of just not giving a fuck at all.

I need org advice!

get on with your life!! why say happy anything to your ex-spouse

imago said:

I honestly think there's no point in keeping ties or prettending to get along.

What you may be feeling is lingering emtional attatchments.

hes right

myfavorite said:

if you left me dog shyt at the door....you wouldnt worry about haveing to see me again..ev.er.

That's the POINT.

not that u are like my X... but

because it would b coming from him

and

because i just want nothing to do with him

and

because he wants a 'second' chance

i would not accept his gift or anything 'nice' he thinks he can say to win be back

as i only c it as an attept to get back together when there is nothing left

so ignore her birthday so she knows u understand that the marriage is well and truely over

it will b a big message to her and it will also help you

2011 Divorce Org Club Members R awesome!!!!

FuzzyWitch said:

not that u are like my X... but

because it would b coming from him

and

because i just want nothing to do with him

and

because he wants a 'second' chance

i would not accept his gift or anything 'nice' he thinks he can say to win be back

as i only c it as an attept to get back together when there is nothing left

so ignore her birthday so she knows u understand that the marriage is well and truely over

it will b a big message to her and it will also help you

2011 Divorce Org Club Members R awesome!!!!

Is membership free?....Im in

davetherave6767 said:

FuzzyWitch said:

not that u are like my X... but

because it would b coming from him

and

because i just want nothing to do with him

and

because he wants a 'second' chance

i would not accept his gift or anything 'nice' he thinks he can say to win be back

as i only c it as an attept to get back together when there is nothing left

so ignore her birthday so she knows u understand that the marriage is well and truely over

it will b a big message to her and it will also help you

2011 Divorce Org Club Members R awesome!!!!

Is membership free?....Im in

u need 2 be getting divorced in 2011 not 1970

so far its Militant, Jedi, djj and me

a divorceee orgy

FuzzyWitch said:

2011 Divorce Org Club Members R awesome!!!!

Yes we ARE!!!

Can we have our own secret handshake or something?

FuzzyWitch said:

davetherave6767 said:

Is membership free?....Im in

u need 2 be getting divorced in 2011 not 1970

so far its Militant, Jedi, djj and me

a divorceee orgy

Eye dont wanna b a member anyway......u will all b like those people in the film Eyes wide shut...All wearing masks and humming some crazy shit.....Eye can see jedi now....dressed as Obi 1....

davetherave6767 said:

FuzzyWitch said:

u need 2 be getting divorced in 2011 not 1970

so far its Militant, Jedi, djj and me

a divorceee orgy

Eye dont wanna b a member anyway......u will all b like those people in the film Eyes wide shut...All wearing masks and humming some crazy shit.....Eye can see jedi now....dressed as Obi 1....

No one care 'bout the robes Dave...it's the lightsaber that counts.

Militant said:

So it's my ex-wife's birthday tomorrow. The thing is, we haven't spoken in nearly 3 weeks. We had tried to be friends and I'd even calmed her down on the phone a few times after the divorce when she felt really depressed etc. But 3 weeks ago, she blew up at me over the most ridiculous stupid minor thing, and unlike when we were married, I wasn't going to apologise just to try and calm the situation down even though I hadn't done anything wrong.

That conversation ended with her saying "fuck you" and "so much for being friends, wait what did i expect, you were an even worse husband". after all the times I tried to help and be there for her, that's what I get.

So anyway we haven't spoken since then but now I'm aware that it's her birthday tomorrow. What to do?

Fuck her.

No seriously fuck her and THEN ignore her. She deserves it for treating you like that.

dJJ said:

Just send her a short; happy birthday, hope you have a nice day, enjoy! e-mail.

This is of course what you should really do.

Tremolina said:

Militant said:

So it's my ex-wife's birthday tomorrow. The thing is, we haven't spoken in nearly 3 weeks. We had tried to be friends and I'd even calmed her down on the phone a few times after the divorce when she felt really depressed etc. But 3 weeks ago, she blew up at me over the most ridiculous stupid minor thing, and unlike when we were married, I wasn't going to apologise just to try and calm the situation down even though I hadn't done anything wrong.

That conversation ended with her saying "fuck you" and "so much for being friends, wait what did i expect, you were an even worse husband". after all the times I tried to help and be there for her, that's what I get.

So anyway we haven't spoken since then but now I'm aware that it's her birthday tomorrow. What to do?

Fuck her.

No seriously fuck her and THEN ignore her. She deserves it for treating you like that.

FuzzyWitch said:

davetherave6767 said:

Is membership free?....Im in

u need 2 be getting divorced in 2011 not 1970

so far its Militant, Jedi, djj and me

a divorceee orgy

Actually, my ex went fo an appeal. The last they he could do that.

So, I'm still married. Have to go through another court hearing and a lot of b**sh**. I sure hope I can get divorced in 2011. However, it might be 2012 for me.

I'm still just an applicant for the divorceee orgeee.

Militant said:

Thanks guys. Mostly I just don't want us to be at odds with each other. If we don't talk at all that's fine as long as it's something that's happened placidly and not out of anger I guess.

If I ignore her birthday, it seems like I'm angry at her. Which I guess I am. But I don't want her to think that. LOL. I'm so confused!

I believe to be the bigger person out of the situation, a simply "happy birthday" should be it and serve its purpose. But after that, I'd leave it alone...even if she does say thank you. I wouldn't reply back. Her behavior is unacceptable and no one deserves to be talked to or treated in that manner. I completely understand the position you are in though, its like you want to give her back what she's dishing out to you...a big ole by ignoring her ass, but yet you still care despite her rude behavior at the same time, with no desire to want to be with her again. It's okay. I get you. A simple email should do the trick.

dJJ said:

FuzzyWitch said:

u need 2 be getting divorced in 2011 not 1970

so far its Militant, Jedi, djj and me

a divorceee orgy

Actually, my ex went fo an appeal. The last they he could do that.

So, I'm still married. Have to go through another court hearing and a lot of b**sh**. I sure hope I can get divorced in 2011. However, it might be 2012 for me.

I'm still just an applicant for the divorceee orgeee.

You're in the club regardless.

Emotionally this is our year of Divorce.

I have no papers filed, so God knows when mine will be legal. But my ass is out of the house and there's no looking back. It's a divorce. Fuck it.

I'd ignore the birthday if she was like that. If she was being civil in your previous talks, then sure, send her a card, text, whatever.

And next time you guys talk and she blows up and says "Fuck you" just reply "Fuck your birthday." Then hang up. That way you have addressed and covered it for that year and don't have to worry about this again.

Put you big draws on, hon! Ignore the heifer! She told you to fuck off and that you were a terrible husband, so why even give a shit about her birthday?

PunkMistress said:

PurpleJedi said:

Are you kidding me?

Ignore it.

If memory serves me right...SHE left YOU, right?

Then she throws a titty-fit when you're trying to console her (which mad props to you for even being able to try to do the 'friend' thing)...and cusses you out?

Unless you're trying to leave the door open for future reconciliation, don't even post on FB.

In fact, if you decide that you really want to move on, de-friend and block her on FB.

But if you want to leave that door open, then send a card. Not love-y/dove-y or anything, just warm.

Least that's what I'd do (and I can't be impartial lol).

Every word of this.

Nothing good will come of you trying to be friends with her.

And FUCK her damn birthday. She's not five years old for Christ's sweet sake.

Yup. All of that.

Militant said:

Thanks guys. Mostly I just don't want us to be at odds with each other. If we don't talk at all that's fine as long as it's something that's happened placidly and not out of anger I guess.

If I ignore her birthday, it seems like I'm angry at her. Which I guess I am. But I don't want her to think that. LOL. I'm so confused!

At this point, what she may or may not think you feel towards her is not your problem. Let the chips fall where they may, move on, and focus on you. You are not responsible for her or her feelings anymore. I understand the idea of wanting to maintain a healthy post-break-up...but sometimes in order for the situation to be healthy it means that you need to cut contact, period and be healthy from afar.

I sent her a one line email. No reply. Wasn't expecting one, so... I think this was the best thing.

Militant said:

I sent her a one line email. No reply. Wasn't expecting one, so... I think this was the best thing.

Militant said:

I sent her a one line email. No reply. Wasn't expecting one, so... I think this was the best thing.

Well then thats it and you can move on.