Screw the 'Org Makeover' thread.

Why don't we focus on this here "PurpleJedi Makeover" thread instead???

Help this soon-to-be-divorced middle-aged Latin geek get ready for the dating scene.

Been getting no responses on Match.com (even after I had a 22-y.o. proofread my profile).

So what do I need to do to up my game (or actually GET a game)?

Stats:

- 40 years old (going on 75)

- 5'-7"

- 170lbs

Likes:

- spending time w/ my kids

- spending time on prince.org

- spending time between large breasts

Dislikes:

- smoking

- whoring

- being boring

Misc. facts

- no tats

- no piercings

- college degree

- decent paying job

- "artistic, nice guy" type

- kick ass on Trivia Pursuit

- fledgling gym rat

- booze & weed makes me sleepy

- Secretly want to be slapped around and choked by JustErin

OK...none of that is on Match.com, but you get the drift.

Here's a "cool" pic;

My Match.com profile pic;

So...what do you recommend?

Shave the beard?

Shave the head?

Scowl more?

Get contacts?

Get a few tattoos?

Get a prostitute and post the sex video?

Do offer me your "Makeover" advice.

...and yeah, this is a bit tongue-in-cheek so don't take it too seriously!

Check out the new frames;

[Edited 10/1/11 20:06pm]

What's there to makeover?

You're gorgeous.

Just wear slightly more form fitting shirts--not bitchass tight, but form fitting.

other than that, carry yourself with pride. You're fetching.

Look, there is nothing gay about what I just posted, ok?

I'm totally straight right now.

Please believe me.

You seem fun!! I personally LOVE the beard. Don't change yourself, be yourself and have fun . You really smoke?

Do NOT shave the head !

do not change a single thing. you are groovio just the way you are dear

XxAxX said:

do not change a single thing. you are groovio just the way you are dear

I totally agree! You look great!

And, don't get any tattoos. It's so "sheep like".

Maaan, if you shave that beard imma havta smack ya!

Hmmm, I could imagine you with longer hair...experimenting with different eyeglass frames might be fun too.

But being cute and having good hairruh, I'd say there ain't no real need change much unless it's just for fun.

Empress said:

XxAxX said:

do not change a single thing. you are groovio just the way you are dear

I totally agree! You look great!

And, don't get any tattoos. It's so "sheep like".

Yeah, everybody's doing tats...Zzzzzz.

Oh and don't shave your head , I like hair

imago said:

Look, there is nothing gay about what I just posted, ok?

I'm totally straight right now.

Please believe me.

^^^ ...we need to inspect your closet to make sure that you have properly vacated the premises.

Well, I'm working on the gut which is not-quite fitted shirt-ready. But I did leave the house in a fitted tank top (going to the beach) on Saturday, which is a big step.

"Carry myself w/ pride" - yeah I am working on that...switch my "married-with-bills shuffle" for something more appealing; I mean, there's the "cocky swagger" gait, the "look I have no neck" musclehead waddle with arms perpetually flexed, the "upturned nose" I'm too sexy for this joint slow-walk...the choices are ENDLESS!

Thanks though!

babynoz said:

Empress said:

I totally agree! You look great!

And, don't get any tattoos. It's so "sheep like".

Yeah, everybody's doing tats...Zzzzzz.

Exactly. I'm not a tattoo hater. I have one small tat and my husband also has one. We have had ours for over 30 years. I just think that it's something that almost everyone thinks they have to do to be cool these days. Most of them are god awful ugly and most people get way too many.

InternationalLover82 said:

You seem fun!! I personally LOVE the beard. Don't change yourself, be yourself and have fun . You really smoke?

I tried it (finally) when my ordeal first began, in lieu of Xanax. Didn't really do what I expected. Just wound up dwelling on all the shit swirling in my head until the break of dawn.

Then I have done it (allegedly) a few times "recreationally" but I wind up getting sleepy. Not much fun.

Serious said:

Do NOT shave the head !

Yeah...I only considered it BRIEFLY cuz all the dudes in the gym seem to have a shaved head nowadays...but I think it'd be weird on me.

Empress said:

XxAxX said:

do not change a single thing. you are groovio just the way you are dear

I totally agree! You look great!

And, don't get any tattoos. It's so "sheep like".

Thanks you two!

I seriously considered a tattoo when the soon-to-be-ex told me that it would be "hot" (anyone remember my tattoo thread?)...but I no longer want to do it for her (obviously)...if I decide to do it, I'll go to Brooklyn where my buddy got his and get an awesome one that means something to ME.

PurpleJedi said:

imago said:

Look, there is nothing gay about what I just posted, ok?

I'm totally straight right now.

Please believe me.

^^^ ...we need to inspect your closet to make sure that you have properly vacated the premises.

Well, I'm working on the gut which is not-quite fitted shirt-ready. But I did leave the house in a fitted tank top (going to the beach) on Saturday, which is a big step.

"Carry myself w/ pride" - yeah I am working on that...switch my "married-with-bills shuffle" for something more appealing; I mean, there's the "cocky swagger" gait, the "look I have no neck" musclehead waddle with arms perpetually flexed, the "upturned nose" I'm too sexy for this joint slow-walk...the choices are ENDLESS!

Thanks though!

omg

babynoz said:

Maaan, if you shave that beard imma havta smack ya!

Hmmm, I could imagine you with longer hair...experimenting with different eyeglass frames might be fun too.

But being cute and having good hairruh, I'd say there ain't no real need change much unless it's just for fun.

I bought a new frame (black Pearsol's that "fell off the truck") that I need to get lenses for. Look just like this;

Those will be my "fall/winter" frames.

PurpleJedi said:

InternationalLover82 said:

You seem fun!! I personally LOVE the beard. Don't change yourself, be yourself and have fun . You really smoke?

I tried it (finally) when my ordeal first began, in lieu of Xanax. Didn't really do what I expected. Just wound up dwelling on all the shit swirling in my head until the break of dawn.

Then I have done it (allegedly) a few times "recreationally" but I wind up getting sleepy. Not much fun.

I see, well everyone is different. Oh and right back at ya

imago said:

PurpleJedi said:

^^^ ...we need to inspect your closet to make sure that you have properly vacated the premises.

Well, I'm working on the gut which is not-quite fitted shirt-ready. But I did leave the house in a fitted tank top (going to the beach) on Saturday, which is a big step.

"Carry myself w/ pride" - yeah I am working on that...switch my "married-with-bills shuffle" for something more appealing; I mean, there's the "cocky swagger" gait, the "look I have no neck" musclehead waddle with arms perpetually flexed, the "upturned nose" I'm too sexy for this joint slow-walk...the choices are ENDLESS!

Thanks though!

omg

InternationalLover82 said:

PurpleJedi said:

I tried it (finally) when my ordeal first began, in lieu of Xanax. Didn't really do what I expected. Just wound up dwelling on all the shit swirling in my head until the break of dawn.

Then I have done it (allegedly) a few times "recreationally" but I wind up getting sleepy. Not much fun.

I see, well everyone is different. Oh and right back at ya

I was (allegedly) told to try it when I'm having fun or out somewhere having a good time...we'll see...

PurpleJedi said:

babynoz said:

Maaan, if you shave that beard imma havta smack ya!

Hmmm, I could imagine you with longer hair...experimenting with different eyeglass frames might be fun too.

But being cute and having good hairruh, I'd say there ain't no real need change much unless it's just for fun.

I bought a new frame (black Pearsol's that "fell off the truck") that I need to get lenses for. Look just like this;

Those will be my "fall/winter" frames.

I likes...

babynoz said:

PurpleJedi said:

I bought a new frame (black Pearsol's that "fell off the truck") that I need to get lenses for. Look just like this;

Those will be my "fall/winter" frames.

I likes...

I think your look is fine - with the exception of your shoes. Ditch the sneakers (except when working out) and get yourself some "grown man" shoes. There are styles galore these days that are comfortable, yet polished.

Serious said:

babynoz said:

I likes...

...new reason to photowhore...

Genesia said:

I think your look is fine - with the exception of your shoes. Ditch the sneakers (except when working out) and get yourself some "grown man" shoes. There are styles galore these days that are comfortable, yet polished.

Yeah...I agree. Those ARE actually my workout sneakers!

Actually...I took that pic in Florida, and only after I was miles away from home did I remember that my bag of shoes/sneakers were sitting in my living room.

Ordinarily I wear black Converse for everyday.

I guess I should crop that pic if I decide to post...

1. Change the shoes. Wear some Stacy Adams or Toms. Men shouldn't wear running shoes after a certain age.

2. Do some Yoga

3. Buy some Ray-Bans.

4. Don't get any tattoos, your going to regret it.

5. Grow your hair out, and get a 5'o clock shadow.

ahaha Then you'll be extra cool.

PurpleJedi said:

Genesia said:

I think your look is fine - with the exception of your shoes. Ditch the sneakers (except when working out) and get yourself some "grown man" shoes. There are styles galore these days that are comfortable, yet polished.

Yeah...I agree. Those ARE actually my workout sneakers!

Actually...I took that pic in Florida, and only after I was miles away from home did I remember that my bag of shoes/sneakers were sitting in my living room.

Ordinarily I wear black Converse for everyday.

I guess I should crop that pic if I decide to post...

I like the new frames, too. The ones in your match.com shot are...how do I put this...a little "mature" looking.

TylerHippie said:

1. Change the shoes. Wear some Stacy Adams or Toms. Men shouldn't wear running shoes after a certain age.

2. Do some Yoga

3. Buy some Ray-Bans.

4. Don't get any tattoos, your going to regret it.

5. Grow your hair out, and get a 5'o clock shadow.

ahaha Then you'll be extra cool.

See my reply to Genesia re: gym shoes.

Looking into Restorative Yoga classes actually.

If I get contacts, then I can buy cool Ray-Ban sunglasses.

Conflicted about tats (see earlier post).

I was told before to grow my hair out. Trying to actually. Will need to photowhore once it's "in".

PurpleJedi said:

InternationalLover82 said:

I see, well everyone is different. Oh and right back at ya

I was (allegedly) told to try it when I'm having fun or out somewhere having a good time...we'll see...

For me it makes me feel good. Like nothing makes me sad or mad lol.

Genesia said:

PurpleJedi said:

Yeah...I agree. Those ARE actually my workout sneakers!

Actually...I took that pic in Florida, and only after I was miles away from home did I remember that my bag of shoes/sneakers were sitting in my living room.

Ordinarily I wear black Converse for everyday.

I guess I should crop that pic if I decide to post...

I like the new frames, too. The ones in your match.com shot are...how do I put this...a little "mature" looking.

Oh man...so I'm wearing old man glasses?

Does that mean I should get rid of the Dockers khakis as well?