ConsciousContact said:

MarySharon said:

When one is considered as a threat you steer clear of it right then and there. You don't "pretend", you don't play the game of friendship during 8 years and you don't make fun of the person behind her back. Maybe I would have been the one to run away first If I had known but I wasn't in the best condition to distinguish what was real friendship and what wasn't.

This thread explains it partly

http://prince.org/msg/100/367543

linking edit

[Edited 9/30/11 7:41am]

People pretend all the time. Another hallmark of a mind that wants to dominate another is that it is inauthentic.

I just don't get it. Probably never will.

Ofcourse...

1- being mixed

2- I'm a women

sunflower7 said:

Ofcourse...

1- being mixed

2- I'm a women

Because I'm mixed too, I've been called quite a few racial slurs over my life of nationalities I am not whatsoever

Tittypants said:

sunflower7 said:

Ofcourse...

1- being mixed

2- I'm a women

Because I'm mixed too, I've been called quite a few racial slurs over my life of nationalities I am not whatsoever

I'm sick of the... are you's

sunflower7 said:

Tittypants said:

Because I'm mixed too, I've been called quite a few racial slurs over my life of nationalities I am not whatsoever

I'm sick of the... are you's

Yup, me too. It shouldn't matter what races we're mixed with, should it?

Tittypants said:

sunflower7 said:

I'm sick of the... are you's

Yup, me too. It shouldn't matter what races we're mixed with, should it?

Nope...

sunflower7 said:

Tittypants said:

Yup, me too. It shouldn't matter what races we're mixed with, should it?

Nope...

I wouldn't change what I'm mixed with all.

PurpleJedi said:

MarySharon said:

As a childfree, minimum wage, exuberant, loose, flirty, real, self-qualified girl I experienced the worst and most hypocritical form of prejudice and rejection from people defining their identity from their job, from their companies or from their resume and erecting having kids, getting married, graduated and close to family as a norm. I thought those people liked me for what I really am and looked further than appearances, they didn't. It affected me so much that I wanted to die.

...but you're beautiful, so all is right in the world.

Thanks But I lost a lot of self-confidence afterwards. And beauty has never been a guarantee for happiness.

Hmm What about when you have a "foreign" accent and people assume that if English is not your first language, then you are incompetant?

DysregulatedToxicity said:

Hmm What about when you have a "foreign" accent and people assume that if English is not your first language, then you are incompetant?

Very Good One! I've never even thought about that one. I'm happy you brought that up!

Tittypants said:

sunflower7 said:

Nope...

I wouldn't change what I'm mixed with all.

Tittypants said:

DysregulatedToxicity said:

Hmm What about when you have a "foreign" accent and people assume that if English is not your first language, then you are incompetant?

Very Good One! I've never even thought about that one. I'm happy you brought that up!

I would feel ..out of place.. in someone else's country 2..

sunflower7 said:

Tittypants said:

Very Good One! I've never even thought about that one. I'm happy you brought that up!

I would feel ..out of place.. in someone else's country 2..

Especially a country that doesn't speak my language at all....

Dating is hard as a gay black man. Either people only want me so I can be their flavor of the night, of to fulfill some fantasy based on stereoptypes. I love Asian men, but they jump over me to get to my room mate, just because he's White. I don't understand the whole Asian worship of White people, but when you look at their movies, the White man is always the villain. Someone once told me that an Asian person doesn't feel like they've arrived in America unless they have a White person on their arm. It's kind of hard for me to show people that I'm more than just my skin color. I've noticed that when I talk and interact with people and they get to see who I am as a person, then I gain some kind of leverage in the dating world. I'm not trying to blame my ethnicity or skin color for anything, because I'm proud of who and what I am. It's just a bother that I have to deal with other people's ignorance.

ScarletScandal said:

Dating is hard as a gay black man. Either people only want me so I can be their flavor of the night, of to fulfill some fantasy based on stereoptypes. I love Asian men, but they jump over me to get to my room mate, just because he's White. I don't understand the whole Asian worship of White people, but when you look at their movies, the White man is always the villain. Someone once told me that an Asian person doesn't feel like they've arrived in America unless they have a White person on their arm. It's kind of hard for me to show people that I'm more than just my skin color. I've noticed that when I talk and interact with people and they get to see who I am as a person, then I gain some kind of leverage in the dating world. I'm not trying to blame my ethnicity or skin color for anything, because I'm proud of who and what I am. It's just a bother that I have to deal with other people's ignorance.

Some Asians seem to have this perception of black people for some reason. I don't get it myself....I've even seen some pretty racist recent movies scenes of Japanese people making fun of black people & Obama....

Tittypants said:

sunflower7 said:

I would feel ..out of place.. in someone else's country 2..

Especially a country that doesn't speak my language at all....

Yep!! but by then, I would b relying on universal hand signals

sunflower7 said:

Tittypants said:

Especially a country that doesn't speak my language at all....

Yep!! but by then, I would b relying on universal hand signals

sunflower7 said:

Tittypants said:

Very Good One! I've never even thought about that one. I'm happy you brought that up!

I would feel ..out of place.. in someone else's country 2..

Yeah? Interesting...I do sometimes. Then again, I am also a foreign whenever I visit my country of origin. Some of my fellow countrymen/women feel I have betrayed my culture, and many people here in the States feel I have not totally adapted.

sunflower7 said:

Tittypants said:

Especially a country that doesn't speak my language at all....

Yep!! but by then, I would b relying on universal hand signals

Universal hand signals like these?

DysregulatedToxicity said:

sunflower7 said:

Yep!! but by then, I would b relying on universal hand signals

Universal hand signals like these?

...yep!!

I have a man that tells me he how much he likes the texture of my hair... the shade of my skin... the shade of my eyes....

he also tells me that if I didn't have what I have... he WOULD NOT be with me.

So to me prejudices affect me even if I try to not let them... because even the very man I am attracted to is with me only because I do not look like him. I would love to have the beautiful dark skin he does, eyes like his that look as dark as coal, and nap to my hair like his tightly curled naps that I find so soft and nice to run my fingers through....

or.... maybe I wouldn't like him so much if he didn't look the way he did too.

spell edits

[Edited 10/1/11 21:58pm]

[Edited 10/1/11 22:00pm]

• the way my husband and i get looked at in certain places because i'm white and he's brazilian.
• the way i get treated for being over weight, i really notice it i think because before i had my son i was really skinny, and when i was skinny i was treated so much better by people. i always got a job when i interviewed for it, and was told i was pretty all of the time. now things are so different. it annoys me, but i know most people judge by looks.
• where i used to live it was a social difference, i was considered poor, and the wealthy people in my neighborhood wanted nothing to do with me, because my husband didn't work for google, facebook, or standford.

well for some weird reason since HS I faced prejudice against my skin tone, which affected my dating life and ultimately I was the only person who went to prom without a date. I never imagined in a million years the answer to all this but I got a rude awakening when it hit the fan and the truth came out...

Unfortunately, this continued in college and I formed the insecurity that being chocolate in my generation meant you wouldn't get nobody because light skin was better, it affected my world greatly, but I conquered it and I still battle with a little up until now. Getting a little personal, but hey just wanted to share the truth. lol

paintedlady said:

I have a man that tells me he how much he likes the texture of my hair... the shade of my skin... the shade of my eyes....

he also tells me that if I didn't have what I have... he WOULD NOT be with me.

So to me prejudices affect me even if I try to not let them... because even the very man I am attracted to is with me only because I do not look like him. I would love to have the beautiful dark skin he does, eyes like his that look as dark as coal, and nap to my hair like his tightly curled naps that I find so soft and nice to run my fingers through....

or.... maybe I wouldn't like him so much if he didn't look the way he did too.

But when it comes to attraction it's not so much PREJUDICE as it is PREFERENCE.

kimrachell said:

• the way my husband and i get looked at in certain places because i'm white and he's brazilian.
• the way i get treated for being over weight, i really notice it i think because before i had my son i was really skinny, and when i was skinny i was treated so much better by people. i always got a job when i interviewed for it, and was told i was pretty all of the time. now things are so different. it annoys me, but i know most people judge by looks.
• where i used to live it was a social difference, i was considered poor, and the wealthy people in my neighborhood wanted nothing to do with me, because my husband didn't work for google, facebook, or standford.

A while back some newsprogram ran a story where they set up two people - one very attractive and one fugly - in the same exact situation;

- they had two women on the side of the road with car problem: the pretty one got multiple offers for help within minutes, while the ugly one was out there for like 15 or 20 minutes before an old man finally pulled over to help.

- they had two guys apply for the same job with similar resumes and even dressed similarly: the handsome guy was offered the job and the interview was casual & relaxed, while the ugly guy's interview was short and not as positive.

- AND just to prove a point, they had a "substitute teacher" give a lesson to some elementary school kids (same class). Both "teachers" gave a similar lesson. Afterwards the kids were asked 'which teacher was smarter?' and almost all of them picked the pretty one. Then they were asked 'which one is nicer?' and they picked the pretty one...even though BOTH ladies gave their lessons with similar tones and everything.

Humans are vain.

IamFunkay7 said:

well for some weird reason since HS I faced prejudice against my skin tone, which affected my dating life and ultimately I was the only person who went to prom without a date. I never imagined in a million years the answer to all this but I got a rude awakening when it hit the fan and the truth came out...

Unfortunately, this continued in college and I formed the insecurity that being chocolate in my generation meant you wouldn't get nobody because light skin was better, it affected my world greatly, but I conquered it and I still battle with a little up until now. Getting a little personal, but hey just wanted to share the truth. lol

i have encountered it many times esp since i work in a male dominated industry

but i just do my job and work to my best ability and often prove them wrong - this has actually helped me become more successful

Neither black or white, but I'm the palest one in the family, and though I get complimented for my looks or get asked all the time by others if I'm mixed with some kind of European, a dominating feature on my face is my nose. Though it's not bad, kids made fun of me at school as a kid, and I developed insecurity about it that took years to fully get over. I never realized it for years, and though it doesn't have to be limited to an ethnic feature, I feel that if anyone ever brings it up outside my race, they are attacking who I am instead of me personally and now it goes beyond me and says more about them and their prejudices. And if girls do that kind of thing to other girls, something about beauty standards plays a role I believe.

[Edited 10/1/11 23:58pm]

DysregulatedToxicity said:

Hmm What about when you have a "foreign" accent and people assume that if English is not your first language, then you are incompetant?

I haven't thought about it before but it does make sense

I remember prejudices about race and religion too mostly when I was younger, and though I'm proud of mine, I relate to being Canadian more, though it's also annoying to explain everything so I just dumb it down to avoid questions. And it's annoying if someone starts to make assumptions cause of my ethnicity about whether "our kind can date" and stuff like that.

[Edited 10/2/11 2:16am]