i think most everyone has had to deal with a bully at some point during their life. maybe it was during your childhood at school, or in highschool. even some people deal with it at their work place as an adult, or within their own family....how have you dealt with bullies in your life, what works best for you? my son has been bullied at school this past week, so it really made me think about this topic. here is a website i read on the subject for kids. http://kidshealth.org/kid...llies.html

[Edited 9/19/11 8:51am]

Haven't clicked on the site, but I pretty much ignored them and blended into the background.

When I did become the subject of taunts, I would offer a deadpan reply like, "Yeah I know, so what else is new?" and the lack of agitation or any other form of emotion from me would get them to move on to the next victim.

A few times the taunts were so bad that I would shut down completely. Just a handful.

Once in 9th grade, the class hoodlum (looked like a 21-year old boxer while I looked like a 12-year old mathematician) sat behind me in class and decided to poke my neck with a ruler.

I don't recall my madness at the time, but the ignoring bit didn't work, so I went for the extreme and swatted his hand away and turned around and yelled "STOP IT".

The teacher of course moved him to a different seat, I pretended to go on business as usual while images of my face being used as a punching bag pretty much occupied the rest of the day and a few days after that.

He kind'a laughed, and probably thought I wasn't worth the effort 'cuz he never came after me.

My mini-me is the subject of taunts in school and I've tried to impart the "never let them see you sweat" mentatily on him. But he is a little feistier than me and has gotten into 1 or 2 minor scuffles. Not bad though. He's in the honors program so he doesn't mingle with the hoodrats in school.

I hope he makes it through high school relatively intact.

Lately a lot of harmful things like school shootings and suicides have been attributed to bullying pushing a victim to extreme psychological states. I think the the schools themselves need to encourage reporting of bullying and quickly discipline it the same way they would cheating or vandalism.

As it is, within the student culture, bullying is considered just a part of a kind of hazing, and it's generally overlooked as anything critical for certain poeple to get picked on. It's always happened, and always will happen, and there's a certain attitude of reporting being bullying not even entering a victims mind. (I know that when I was in middle school and encountered a bully or two, I never even thought about telling a teacher or principal). Maybe it's because they will be labeled a "tattletale", or feel they will suffer further increased ridicule. It's up to the school to put some effort into countering this mindset, and clamping down on bullying.

Kicked their ass in front of a whole bunch of people.

After that.....smooth sailing.

[Edited 9/19/11 10:47am]

ufoclub said:

Lately a lot of harmful things like school shootings and suicides have been attributed to bullying pushing a victim to extreme psychological states. I think the the schools themselves need to encourage reporting of bullying and quickly discipline it the same way they would cheating or vandalism.

As it is, within the student culture, bullying is considered just a part of a kind of hazing, and it's generally overlooked as anything critical for certain poeple to get picked on. It's always happened, and always will happen, and there's a certain attitude of reporting being bullying not even entering a victims mind. (I know that when I was in middle school and encountered a bully or two, I never even thought about telling a teacher or principal). Maybe it's because they will be labeled a "tattletale", or feel they will suffer further increased ridicule. It's up to the school to put some effort into countering this mindset, and clamping down on bullying.

This is my humble opinion and not based on any data...but doesn't it seem like our children are les able to cope with real life nowadays in general?

Bullying has been a part of school for as long as children have been assembled in one spot for education purposes. In fact, at a field trip with my son's class last year, we visited a colonial schoolhouse and they told us that schoolteachers used to be tough men because they needed to control the older kids who not only could beat on the smaller kids but on the teachers themselves!

IMO, society nowdays coddles our youth so that they can't deal with any type of rejection or negativity. Like a Disneyworld version of reality. Teachers can't barely give a kid a bad grade without parents threatening to sue. I see it with the upper middle class offspring of my co-workers...who need therapy & meds because OMG high school is over and they need to come to grips with the fact that they need to do their own laundry.

i e-mailed my sons teacher about this issues, and she replied that she would get to the bottom of it, and get back to me. i'm not trying to make a big deal about it, because i know my son needs to be able to deal with all different types of people and personality issues in his life, but at the same time, he shouldn't have to go to school everyday nervous if he's going to be beat up. he already was hit and injured in his eye, and punched in the stomach. so i just can't let it go....my son is a very cheerful, friendly, social kid, and also a very good student that makes good grades, and loves to read. i don't want to see his learning effected by a bully.

[Edited 9/19/11 10:46am]

PurpleJedi said:

ufoclub said:

Lately a lot of harmful things like school shootings and suicides have been attributed to bullying pushing a victim to extreme psychological states. I think the the schools themselves need to encourage reporting of bullying and quickly discipline it the same way they would cheating or vandalism.

As it is, within the student culture, bullying is considered just a part of a kind of hazing, and it's generally overlooked as anything critical for certain poeple to get picked on. It's always happened, and always will happen, and there's a certain attitude of reporting being bullying not even entering a victims mind. (I know that when I was in middle school and encountered a bully or two, I never even thought about telling a teacher or principal). Maybe it's because they will be labeled a "tattletale", or feel they will suffer further increased ridicule. It's up to the school to put some effort into countering this mindset, and clamping down on bullying.

This is my humble opinion and not based on any data...but doesn't it seem like our children are les able to cope with real life nowadays in general?

Bullying has been a part of school for as long as children have been assembled in one spot for education purposes. In fact, at a field trip with my son's class last year, we visited a colonial schoolhouse and they told us that schoolteachers used to be tough men because they needed to control the older kids who not only could beat on the smaller kids but on the teachers themselves!

IMO, society nowdays coddles our youth so that they can't deal with any type of rejection or negativity. Like a Disneyworld version of reality. Teachers can't barely give a kid a bad grade without parents threatening to sue. I see it with the upper middle class offspring of my co-workers...who need therapy & meds because OMG high school is over and they need to come to grips with the fact that they need to do their own laundry.

I'm not belittling bullying by any means. I think depending on what's going on with your son (kimrachell) maybe the standing up for himself route might be the best one to take...when they see he is no victim they may move on to the next kid. that's a sad outcome too though. Def. inform the teachers of who the kids are and what they are doing.

as a kid, i had a few different kids (both male and female) that tried to bully me, and i put up with it for a short while, because i was always shy. but with me the stress and anger builds up until i explode, which is what happened, after that i was never bothered again. i really never had serious issues during my school years. i would say i've had more problems being bullied by other adults in my own family. (my mom, etc.)

I scare the shit out of them

I was bullied and sexually harrassed quite a bit while I was in middle school. The only way that it stopped was when I stood up for myself and unfortunately, got physical. I'm guessing they didn't think I'd fight back, but I could't take anymore

i was being bullied n the 8th grade. one day i had enough and socked the chick n her face. we were sent 2 the priciples office and i cried but she never bothered me again.

I usually took the 8 Mile approach to bullies which was make fun of myself before they got a chance to do it. As far as the sexual bullies in grade school, I had to start kicking them in the balls. It was quite effective until some of the boys started enjoying it.

Bullying seems to start earlier and earlier.

run away.

Sucker Punch!!!

Then kick their ass really....."REALLY" bad!!! I'm talking hitting them with chairs, a brick, kicks all over....then spit on them and walk away!!!

Hope for the best ......

DexMSR said:

Sucker Punch!!!

Then kick their ass really....."REALLY" bad!!! I'm talking hitting them with chairs, a brick, kicks all over....then spit on them and walk away!!!

I received detention for much less than that. Just for defending myself while being bullied.

traded places with them...

I told them that if it came down to me having to fight them, I'd just have to go ahead and kill them because I could never live with the humiliation of getting my ass beat in public. Then I told them that I'd piss on their corpse afterwards. That would never work these days though because times are different and kids aren't bluffing and actually are killing each other.

MarySharon said:

DexMSR said:

Sucker Punch!!!

Then kick their ass really....."REALLY" bad!!! I'm talking hitting them with chairs, a brick, kicks all over....then spit on them and walk away!!!

I received detention for much less than that. Just for defending myself while being bullied.

The school wanted to suspend me after I defended myself. My mom ended that with the quickness. She was like "Take one look at her body and you tell me why she kicked that boy in the nuts. Perhaps if your teachers would do their job during recess my daughter wouldn't have to push boys off of her. Can I go back to work now?"

kimrachell said:

i e-mailed my sons teacher about this issues, and she replied that she would get to the bottom of it, and get back to me. i'm not trying to make a big deal about it, because i know my son needs to be able to deal with all different types of people and personality issues in his life, but at the same time, he shouldn't have to go to school everyday nervous if he's going to be beat up. he already was hit and injured in his eye, and punched in the stomach. so i just can't let it go....my son is a very cheerful, friendly, social kid, and also a very good student that makes good grades, and loves to read. i don't want to see his learning effected by a bully.

[Edited 9/19/11 10:46am]

I honestly don't know what to tell you. From my experience, when a teacher was told, it made it worse because then you're a "snitch". It would be horrible for him to possibly get beaten up, especially in front of other kids, so I wouldn't suggest encouraging him to fight them. I'd love to suggest telling him to pick up the biggest stick he can find and beat the hell out of them with it. It always feels good to hit somebody with a stick and they can't hit you back. They hurt like hell, but you still feel good. But no, I would never suggest telling a child to do that either.

It would be good if there was some kind of way to inform the teacher to let her be aware of it but also for her to not confront the bullies with it. It would be good if there was some kind of way that she could simply just walk up on them and catch them bullying him as if she just accidently stumpled upon it. Then, she could snatch the little devils up and make it damn clear that she's got her eye on them, threaten them with the worst punishment imaginable, and dare them to continue the bullying.

.

.

.

[Edited 9/19/11 13:23pm]

On the street eye knock them the shit out!!!!!!On the org when there hiding behind there pc i either get banned or log off............Ive noticed that the streets r quite safe 4 me!!!!Its the bullies on the org that eye cant get 2 that frustrates me!!!!

JuliePurplehead said:

MarySharon said:

I received detention for much less than that. Just for defending myself while being bullied.

The school wanted to suspend me after I defended myself. My mom ended that with the quickness. She was like "Take one look at her body and you tell me why she kicked that boy in the nuts. Perhaps if your teachers would do their job during recess my daughter wouldn't have to push boys off of her. Can I go back to work now?"

Your mum were great!

vainandy said:

I told them that if it came down to me having to fight them, I'd just have to go ahead and kill them because I could never live with the humiliation of getting my ass beat in public. Then I told them that I'd piss on their corpse afterwards. That would never work these days though because times are different and kids aren't bluffing and actually are killing each other.

Yeah that's sort of what I thought about. For me, way back when, what worked was picking one and laying in to them so hard until some damage was done, which ended up getting me backup from others if the "gang" tried to jump me later on which never happened. My kids, seemed to get through it, joining school team activites, and I guess it didn't hurt having a good friend or two who liked to fight. Not very diplomatic, sorry. I'd think you'd have to get very involved with the school, it seems to me that kids who have parents that have a heavy involved presence at school get bullied the least.

LionsAndTigers said:

I was bullied and sexually harrassed quite a bit while I was in middle school. The only way that it stopped was when I stood up for myself and unfortunately, got physical. I'm guessing they didn't think I'd fight back, but I could't take anymore

U fought back.......

I remembre when I was in school the teachers were talking to us about it when they learned that it was happening to one or two girls in our class. I think that made everybody realize that it was wrong and IMO it was a good thing the teacher talked to us about it. But then again that was a long time ago and we were a class with only girls, so nobody was ever beaten up or anything like that. So I cannot really give you any advice, but just hope that things will get better for your son very soon .

Serious said:

I remembre when I was in school the teachers were talking to us about it when they learned that it was happening to one or two girls in our class. I think that made everybody realize that it was wrong and IMO it was a good thing the teacher talked to us about it. But then again that was a long time ago and we were a class with only girls, so nobody was ever beaten up or anything like that. So I cannot really give you any advice, but just hope that things will get better for your son very soon .

For a minute there I was imagining a reply from you along the lines of; "Yeah some girls were messing with me so I slapped some Vaseline on my face, took my jewelry off, ripped off my skirt, and pounded both bitches to the ground with my fists of fury."

But your actual response is more in line with the peace-loving Austrian that we all adore.

PurpleJedi said:

Serious said:

I remembre when I was in school the teachers were talking to us about it when they learned that it was happening to one or two girls in our class. I think that made everybody realize that it was wrong and IMO it was a good thing the teacher talked to us about it. But then again that was a long time ago and we were a class with only girls, so nobody was ever beaten up or anything like that. So I cannot really give you any advice, but just hope that things will get better for your son very soon .

For a minute there I was imagining a reply from you along the lines of; "Yeah some girls were messing with me so I slapped some Vaseline on my face, took my jewelry off, ripped off my skirt, and pounded both bitches to the ground with my fists of fury."

But your actual response is more in line with the peace-loving Austrian that we all adore.

Austria is not only the the country of the Sound Of Music, but also of Hitler and Schwarzenegger .......

I must admit I vaguely remember that I once got in a physical fight with a girl from another class. It was the only fight I remember that ever took place in my school .

Serious said:

PurpleJedi said:

For a minute there I was imagining a reply from you along the lines of; "Yeah some girls were messing with me so I slapped some Vaseline on my face, took my jewelry off, ripped off my skirt, and pounded both bitches to the ground with my fists of fury."

But your actual response is more in line with the peace-loving Austrian that we all adore.

Austria is not only the the country of the Sound Of Music, but also of Hitler and Schwarzenegger .......

I must admit I vaguely remember that I once got in a physical fight with a girl from another class. It was the only fight I remember that ever took place in my school .

A-HA!!! See? I knew there was an edge to you in there somewhere!

Details! You beat her down, didn't you? Then went after the Principal and tried to choke the bitch with your Lederhosen, didn't you?

Uh-huh...we know how you roll...

PurpleJedi said:

Serious said:

Austria is not only the the country of the Sound Of Music, but also of Hitler and Schwarzenegger .......

I must admit I vaguely remember that I once got in a physical fight with a girl from another class. It was the only fight I remember that ever took place in my school .

A-HA!!! See? I knew there was an edge to you in there somewhere!

Details! You beat her down, didn't you? Then went after the Principal and tried to choke the bitch with your Lederhosen, didn't you?

Uh-huh...we know how you roll...

The only time I wore Lederhosen was for some kind of a schooldancing/play and I hated it as they were my (male) cousins and I would have preferred to wear a Dirndl, but I had to be a boy .

I just remember that I won and that the teachers never found out about it.

As much as I am seen as a nice, charming girl by everyone I always got a very strong personality ever since I was little

Well I was tease at times probably why i'm very no nonsense now as an adult.