===============

Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the numbers 7274.
Customer: Is the 7274 in capital letters?

===============

Customer: I can't open Yahoo calendar.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Yes... five stars.

===============

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Hotmail.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program..
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.

===============

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: ....Who the hell transferred this call to me???

===============

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

===============

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that's a good point. The guy sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."

===============

And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now hit the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

those r hilarious:falloff:

True Tech Support Stories

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any
   Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls
   asking where the "Any" key is.
   
   
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her
   mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover
   turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
   
   
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man
   complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing
   files from his old diskettes. After trouble- shooting for
   magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was
   found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled
   them into the typewriter to type the labels.
   
   
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her
   defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the
   customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
   
   
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled
   floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer
   asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone
   down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to
   his room.
   
   
6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his
   computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of
   trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was
   trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
   monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
   
   
7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new
   program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local
   Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends, "the customer
   replied. When told Egghead was a software store, the man
   said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of
   geeks."
   
   
8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his
   keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up
   his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a
   day, then removing all the keys and washing them
   individually.
   
   
9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was
   enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and
   an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad
   command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken
   personally.
   
   
10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support
    couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring
    the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what
    happened when she pushed the power button. Her response,
    "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
    happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's
    mouse.
    
    
11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her
    brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked
    the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for
    something to happen. When asked what happened when she
    pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
    
    
12. This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied" message
    every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and
    password in capital letters.
    
    Tech Support: "OK, let's try once more, but use lower-case letters."
    
    Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."
    
    
    
13. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
    
    Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
    
    Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
    
    Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within
    my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
    
    Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
    
    Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
    
    Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's
    because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional,
    at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it
    have any trademark on it?"
    
    Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything
    about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point the
    Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand
    it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM
    drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!
    
    
    
14. Illegal Operations
    
    A good friend of mine in Los Angeles is somewhat computer illiterate.
    She recently called me here (Italy) with a problem she was having with
    her new computer:
    
    "Simon, something's wrong with the Internet thing, it doesn't work."
    
    "What does the computer say?"
    
    "Well, it just told me that the program had performed an 'illegal
    operation' and that it was going to be shut down."
    
    I paused, about to respond that it was nothing to worry about and all
    she had to do was restart the computer, when I thought of something.
    
    "You think it means the police are going to come and shut down your
    computer, don't you?"
    
    A trans-Atlantic pause....
    
    "Umm, it doesn't then?"
    
    "No!"

http://www.digitaldreamdo...iches.html

I hate people.

number 4 made me crack up until I got to number 13, I think I slipped out my chair.

morningsong said:

number 4 made me crack up until I got to number 13, I think I slipped out my chair.

Yeah that was a prime case of WTF

Ever heard of Mozarella Firefox? I did

that one ................

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Hotmail.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program..
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.

that's totally me

when i connected the internet at home 4 the 1st time ever i spent over an hour on the fone with this poor tech support guy, after we (he) got it 2 work he told me he'll be on leave the next day, when i asked him why he's telling me this he said just in case i call again!!!!