NDRU said:

It's a handshake. I don't really figure I have a person's entire personality figured out based on it.

In this day and age with so many traditions changing and becoming obsolete, i wonder is this one thing will be one of them. So many people with their own personal phobias and whatnot.

A handshake is considered an intergral part of certain situations. Such as, two friends casually meeting each other in the street, when you're introduced to a new person in a formal manner, or at a business meeting. They all mean something different, but in every situation keeping your hands in your pockets in order to give someone the cold shoulder (so to speak) makes you the strange, rude person in the room.

If you think their hands are dirty, hang out in a public restroom or kitchen at your place of work for an hour. Watch what people do without washing their hands, pay attention to everything they touch afterwards. Then consider how many times you've touched those things. Then multiply that by all the people in your city doing the same thing and think about how many times you touch somebody elses ass, crotch, greasy food, etc. on a regular basis. Sure, hands are dirty. That's what Purel is for.

As far as them squeezing too hard, man up (so to speak) and tell them its too hard. Now, as Genesia mentioned, if you're one of those limp risted, cold fish, touch and pull people - that's your problem. Also as has been mentioned, many women these days find it a sign of respect that they are given a firm handshake, the same as a man would get. But that doesn't mean there aren't some clueless ass men out there who don't know that they're using your hand as exercise equipment. I have strong hands and a firm grip, but there has still been quite a few occasions when I've jokingly told another guy, "Wow. If I'd known we were having a contest I would have tried harder", or something to that affect after they've nearly crushed three of my fingers to a pulp. It is OK to say something, particularly if you think you're going to have to shake their hand again. .... but only if you aren't one of those touch and pull people. *shivers*

FauxReal said:

It's a handshake. I don't really figure I have a person's entire personality figured out based on it.

There are people who would vehemently disagree with you on that. Firm/loose. Moist/dry. Long/short. One hand/two hand. Eye contact and/or smile included. Handshakes can say a lot about a person.

Cerebus said:

FauxReal said:

It's a handshake. I don't really figure I have a person's entire personality figured out based on it.

There are people who would vehemently disagree with you on that. Firm/loose. Moist/dry. Long/short. One hand/two hand. Eye contact and/or smile included. Handshakes can say a lot about a person.

maybe, but reading too much into small things can lead to false assumptions

NDRU said:

Cerebus said:

There are people who would vehemently disagree with you on that. Firm/loose. Moist/dry. Long/short. One hand/two hand. Eye contact and/or smile included. Handshakes can say a lot about a person.

maybe, but reading too much into small things can lead to false assumptions

Maybe. Depends on the situation for me. If its business related I think its really important to have a good handshake. It does affect the way I look at a person in that regard.

Cerebus said:

NDRU said:

maybe, but reading too much into small things can lead to false assumptions

Maybe. Depends on the situation for me. If its business related I think its really important to have a good handshake. It does affect the way I look at a person in that regard.

yes, and that is true of a lot of people.

but say you shook my hand and it was sweaty, you might think I was nervous, and maybe I am, but it might not be because I am unqualified or untrustworthy, it might be because my hands are sweaty and it makes me uncomfortable

I understand a handshake and look in the eye might set some at ease, and it't a good idea to have a good one, but don't you think every sleazy politician liar has a fantastic handshake? I think the whole thing is a little superstitious.

NDRU said:

Cerebus said:

Maybe. Depends on the situation for me. If its business related I think its really important to have a good handshake. It does affect the way I look at a person in that regard.

yes, and that is true of a lot of people.

but say you shook my hand and it was sweaty, you might think I was nervous, and maybe I am, but it might not be because I am unqualified or untrustworthy, it might be because my hands are sweaty and it makes me uncomfortable

I understand a handshake and look in the eye might set some at ease, and it't a good idea to have a good one, but don't you think every sleazy politician liar has a fantastic handshake? I think the whole thing is a little superstitious.

I would absolutely think you were nervous if your hand was sweaty, because that's generally considered a fact. However, I would never judge someones qualifications on their nervousness or lack thereof (a lot of very confident and qualified people are still nervous in a situation that would require a first handshake). But! If they had a sweaty palm, loose grip and didn't make eye contact during the process it is very likely that I would not want to have further dealings with them no matter how qualified they may be. That interaction is part of reading someones personality for me and its telling, so it really does make a difference.

Cerebus said:

NDRU said:

yes, and that is true of a lot of people.

but say you shook my hand and it was sweaty, you might think I was nervous, and maybe I am, but it might not be because I am unqualified or untrustworthy, it might be because my hands are sweaty and it makes me uncomfortable

I understand a handshake and look in the eye might set some at ease, and it't a good idea to have a good one, but don't you think every sleazy politician liar has a fantastic handshake? I think the whole thing is a little superstitious.

I would absolutely think you were nervous if your hand was sweaty, because that's generally considered a fact. However, I would never judge someones qualifications on their nervousness or lack thereof (a lot of very confident and qualified people are still nervous in a situation that would require a first handshake). But! If they had a sweaty palm, loose grip and didn't make eye contact during the process it is very likely that I would not want to have further dealings with them no matter how qualified they may be. That interaction is part of reading someones personality for me and its telling, so it really does make a difference.

can't really argue with what you're saying, except to note that people who make a great first impression are often the people I hate most down the road

But in business, often a first impression is the most important, so...it I guess it depends on the situation as you said.

thread gone crazy

i actually have a nice firm handshake and love the eye contact

i've just been there 2 long and i know when the taps r not turned on in the toilets as the pipes vibrate when the taps are used. b4 the meeting they all need 2 go ... because they know they r going 2 be in there for at least 2 hours

vibrating pipes are a rarity

and i like 2 b clean

and i know men dont sit n pee... they hold it, they give it a jiggle and then they tuck it in

so that is why i dont like shaking their hands ~ so haters dont hate

i rather wave, wink or even hug them

sorry i cant respond to all the comments, but Genesia its very obvious that u like picking on me and i guess if it makes u happy, then it all good, if i cared about u then i'd care about what u have to say... but oh well

NDRU said:

Cerebus said:

I would absolutely think you were nervous if your hand was sweaty, because that's generally considered a fact. However, I would never judge someones qualifications on their nervousness or lack thereof (a lot of very confident and qualified people are still nervous in a situation that would require a first handshake). But! If they had a sweaty palm, loose grip and didn't make eye contact during the process it is very likely that I would not want to have further dealings with them no matter how qualified they may be. That interaction is part of reading someones personality for me and its telling, so it really does make a difference.

can't really argue with what you're saying, except to note that people who make a great first impression are often the people I hate most down the road

But in business, often a first impression is the most important, so...it I guess it depends on the situation as you said.

Yes! Exactly. I totally agree with your first statement, because that's personal. I've always been really up front about first impressions meaning nothing in that arena because you aren't really going to know a person until sometime down the road when you get in a fight, or need their help, or they get drunk and act a fool. But in a business context where everything is going to stay professional and be about how you interact with another person on that level, first impressions definitely mean something different. And the handshake is the beginning of that process.

FuzzyWitch said:

and i know men dont sit n pee... they hold it, they give it a jiggle and then they tuck it in

I haven't peed without washing my hands in, like, uhhh... 20 years. 25 years. And if I'm in a public restroom I use a the paper towel I dried my hands with to open the door. Not to mention the fact that most people show everyday. A guy touching his dork and then shaking your hand is nowhere NEAR the grossest thing you could touch during such an interaction.

Cerebus said:

FuzzyWitch said:

and i know men dont sit n pee... they hold it, they give it a jiggle and then they tuck it in

I haven't peed without washing my hands in, like, uhhh... 20 years. 25 years. And if I'm in a public restroom I use a the paper towel I dried my hands with to open the door. Not to mention the fact that most people show everyday. A guy touching his dork and then shaking your hand is nowhere NEAR the grossest thing you could touch during such an interaction.

I think Vince Vaughn said something about a dick sitting in your pants untouched by the outside world, and how it really is not dirty

Our hands probably get cleaner from touching it simply by transferring some of their germs to it.

Cerebus said:

FuzzyWitch said:

and i know men dont sit n pee... they hold it, they give it a jiggle and then they tuck it in

I haven't peed without washing my hands in, like, uhhh... 20 years. 25 years. And if I'm in a public restroom I use a the paper towel I dried my hands with to open the door. Not to mention the fact that most people show everyday. A guy touching his dork and then shaking your hand is nowhere NEAR the grossest thing you could touch during such an interaction.

i hate public toiles ~ i open dunny doors with paper 2, i also use tissues to turn on the taps when i need 2 ... but the shopping centre where i live has automatic taps and automatic doors

i am the only woman there r 12 men... i can cope with one man's hand shake after not hearing the pipes vibrate, but not 12!!!!!!!!!!!!

all i do is have horrid images of dribbles and number 2's

NDRU said:

Cerebus said:

I haven't peed without washing my hands in, like, uhhh... 20 years. 25 years. And if I'm in a public restroom I use a the paper towel I dried my hands with to open the door. Not to mention the fact that most people show everyday. A guy touching his dork and then shaking your hand is nowhere NEAR the grossest thing you could touch during such an interaction.

I think Vince Vaughn said something about a dick sitting in your pants untouched by the outside world, and how it really is not dirty

Our hands probably get cleaner from touching it simply by transferring some of their germs to it.

r u trying reverse psychology on me?????????????????

[Edited 9/16/11 23:33pm]

Cerebus said:

FauxReal said:

It's a handshake. I don't really figure I have a person's entire personality figured out based on it.

There are people who would vehemently disagree with you on that. Firm/loose. Moist/dry. Long/short. One hand/two hand. Eye contact and/or smile included. Handshakes can say a lot about a person.

I'm okay with them disagreeing with me. If they wanna base their business dealings on something that is so easily faked, go for it. I just refuse to believe that everyone that comes in with a well-practiced handshake is the cream of the crop.

That said, I feel like you can usually tell what kind of handshake the person is coming in for and I adjust to that. I am not gonna give a super-firm ass handshake to someone whose hand practically floats to me. And if someone comes at me grimacing like Hercules in the midst of his 12 labors...I give a little more in my shake.

I'm borderline germaphobic when it comes to my hands, not quite ocd but about one step down. I loathe handshaking.

mynameisnotsusan said:

I'm borderline germaphobic when it comes to my hands, not quite ocd but about one step down. I loathe handshaking.

oh wait!!!!! did i hear your pipes????????????????????? i mean is it safe 2 hi5??????????

that was a clean freak joke!!!!

[Edited 9/17/11 3:16am]

I suppose I do shake hands with ppl sometimes, when they initiate, but it doesn't come naturally to me anymore because I'm use to doing the Thai 'wai' and not having so much physical contact when greeting. I don't really kiss women on the cheek when greeting or parting either, and that feels more strange to me now than hand-shaking, like when seeing relatives and I think 'oh yeah, ppl do that' . I hug sometimes though. Most of the time when meeting up with ppl I'll just say 'hi', 'how are you?', 'have you eaten?', and depending on who it is maybe 'wai' them.

Fauxie said:

I suppose I do shake hands with ppl sometimes, when they initiate, but it doesn't come naturally to me anymore because I'm use to doing the Thai 'wai' and not having so much physical contact when greeting. I don't really kiss women on the cheek when greeting or parting either, and that feels more strange to me now than hand-shaking, like when seeing relatives and I think 'oh yeah, ppl do that' . I hug sometimes though. Most of the time when meeting up with ppl I'll just say 'hi', 'how are you?', 'have you eaten?', and depending on who it is maybe 'wai' them.

Now we're getting into a whole 'nother area - hugging, kissing, etc.

I grew up in a pretty non-demonstrative family, so when I got involved in theatre, it was a total culture shock - folks hugging and kissing "hello" all the time. At first I was like, "Why are these people touching me?!"

But you go to such deep emotional and (sometimes) physical places with your fellow actors - more so than with your own family (at least, more so than with my family ) - that it seems appropriate, somehow.

If people try to hug me at work, though? I'm still I just don't want to know them that well.

Shorty said:

I absolutely HATE it when a man shakes my hand "gently" because I'm a woman. Or they attempt that move where they somehow grab your fingers only and turn it as if in the old day where they might kiss the top of your hand. ok...IF a fine gentleman were to actually kiss the top of my hand (NOT in a work enviroment!) that might be ok depending on the circumstances.

but at work...in a meeting or something of that matter......Just shake my fucking hand already! you don't have to crush my bones but you don't have to act like I'm made of thin glass either.

all this germaphobia too...makes me mental. hand sanatizer every minute...ugh! get over it already! give your body a germ or 2...it's OK, it may even make you stronger.

ok..I'm done.

i like that, as long as they dont actually kiss my hand. unless its like some really formal occasion or whatever.

DexMSR said:

Well, I get my first impression of a man by their handshake. The overbearing tight grip tells me they have a confidence or inferiority complex and are making up for it by showing some initial form of over exertion to make a point that I really do not care about.

The "quick grip" that doesn't allow for a firm fitted shake tells me they are pretty much of the same fabric of the guy described above and want to keep an unspoken advantage over you for "whatever" reason.

The "limp grip" is the one I abhore to no end!! That tells me they are just that....LIMP!!! WEAK, SOFT A PUSHOVER!!

The finely inserted "thumbweb" 2 "thumbweb" handshake with a firm confident grip and shake is what shows me "this is a person I want on my team"!! Confidence abound! Disciplined in the ways of "Man-Laws" and the like!! LOL!!

Those who deny or do not offer up a shake.....well, they seem neurotic to me, obsessive compulsive or a germaphobe!

yes.