So, here's the deal. I'm making a wedding web site to help inform our guests about you know, the typical wedding stuff. When, where and all that. I also wanted to include some info that is important to me, albeit not a requirement. Some of these things are, if your kids are crying during the ceremony, please leave the sanctuary so they can calm down, and if you bring snacks for small kids, please clean up after them.

It seems like commonsense, but I am going to be so miffed if I'm watching my wedding video and I hear kids screaming in the background. You trust people to be polite and know that they should leave the sanctuary, but I wish there was some tactful way I could convey this info on the wedding web site.

Is it possible for me to mention this without sounding like a total bridezilla? I mean really, am I just being anal and paranoid? UGH!

The81Kid said:

I'd suggest you don't invite any children. That way all the adults (esp. the parents) can get blootered and everyone has a good time!

mcmeekle said:

That's what I would do, that way, you avoid all issues about it and can just focus on your day.

Please say you haven't already sent the invites out...

Haven't sent out the invites yet, but I really do want the kids to be there. I don't mind that kids cry and stuff, if I was a kid and had to sit through a wedding ceremony, I'd hate it too. However, if I were a parent I'd know better than to just sit there and let the kids keep screaming.



So let's say I don't invite the kids, exactly how do I say that? I can't just say 'no kids' without sounding like a total Scrooge.

The81Kid said:

When you send the invites, you write the precise names of who you want to come along. Then, people will wonder if the children are invited and your guests will talk among themselves. They will guess what is happening and someone will be nominated to come forward to ask you. You can then say that it is an adults only wedding. Saying it like that means that you don't have have to mention the word children at all.

Good luck.

Therapy, I see what you mean. You write the names of those invited on the inner envelope. That's cool, I'll try it, but I'm going to go under the assumption that they're bringing their kids.

If only I could give the kids laughing gas for the ceremony, or heck, just give them a spanking and tell them to keep their traps shut.

I'm joking!

(sort of)

Perhaps, if budget allows you should have a supervised area for the children at a safe distance from the adults, with child-directed food and entertainment...I was at a friends wedding and this arrangement worked out well...as all possible mess and noise was at least marginally contained lol.

I'm afraid you're going to have to suck it up.

Now that you're married, more and more children will play a necessary role in these kinds of gatherings.

It's probably better to suffer it rather than risk pissing people off or having them whisper behind your back in order to determine your intentions.

Or just learn to appreciate the cry of a child!

I've never seen directions for parents on how to handle their kids printed on a wedding invitation. (I could be wrong about that). Do you realy want to set that precedent...

I would look if it's possible to organize the ceremonie also for children, if there are any families around. For what do "we" marrie? To ground a family, is the first concept. And you do talk about it, to let children out from the ceremonie?

Maybe the preacher, the chirch, or the place you'll marrie, is open for your ideas.

Why don't let the children during the ceremonie, being at the top front and with a view to the couple? - A marriage is also form them a very special event and they may have a dream we should them let lieve. The girl want to be once there and also the boy. As exemple.
[This message was edited Sun Feb 16 6:11:47 PST 2003 by Sataninas]

I was married nearly 8 years ago now and I have a child.
I recently had an invite to my close friend's wedding - stating clearly NO CHILDREN.

This has caused a problem as we have to travel to the wedding overnight - that means finding someone to look after my daughter for the weekend.
Thats not that easy when no family live near!!

I do understand that the bride and groom might want peace and serenity on their day but one thing to remember...

Marriage is all about the love of a couple and bringing that together to make a family to grow in love...

with that in mind I suppose children should be included.

Perfection of an hour or so out of your life means very little if there is nothing much to talk or laugh about!!

Peace and Blessings for your day
x

Thanks for the advice everyone, I'm going to invite the kids and have my Matron of Honor to pass, through word of mouth, that there will be a room available for kids who become restless with toys, snacks, and the like.

Seems like there's no way to tactfully say, "shut your kid up while I'm getting hitched!" I wish there was, I understand your concern. Problem is it's all about the parents - some parents are conscious of such things & will excuse themselves (& the kid) out of respect for the ceremony, being embarrassed, not wanting to draw attention, etc. Other parents are so used to the fucking noise they act like they don't notice it or they just deal with it, clearly disturbing everyone around them.

I dunno, think about the kind of parents you're inviting, lol. How are they @ home w/ their kids? If their house is complete & total ruckus, that's how they'll be @ your wedding I'm afraid...

The81Kid said:

That sounds like a good idea.

The81Kid said:

does sound like a good solution - and you would get to have the 'orderly' kids involved in the ceremony. My partner and I got married last september and the only kid there was ours, so not much hope of excluding her! she was great (considering she was 18months old at the time) and I wouldn't have missed having her standing beside the minister and grinning out at our guests/witnesses for all the world.

hope yours goes as perfectly as ours.

maybe you can have kids section away from the sanctuary but you'll need someone willing to miss the ceremony. Or just make it adults only.

You might want to ask your ushers to keep an eye out for kids, and give them authority to ask their parents to leave if the kids cry. Somebody has to do it.

Also, in the same veim, you could appoint someone else (maid of honor, or example) to ask the parents in the audience to keep their kids quiet. Or if you have a wedding coordinator, she could do it. It's not like she's worried about being friends with everyone after the ceremony, and people will understand that the kids need to be quiet. Then you could have the ushers keep an eye on the kids.

As far as the wedding website, you could have a special announcement on some page everyone will see, and just make a small note.
[This message was edited Mon Feb 17 9:18:59 PST 2003 by tommyalma]