Fauxie said:

RenHoek said:

best.segue.ever.

I'm so conflicted. I know if I give her what she wants she'll be happy and have won, which as a husband is the last thing I want, but dammit if that woman doesn't deserve to have the shit pounded out of her.

I didn't want to come in here and seem insensitive, but since other orgers have beat me to it...

What kind of institution do you attend that every girl buys a vase in preparation of receiving flowers?

It's been a bit since I was in college . Is this a new thing??

Also, 2 bouquets from her boyfriend annnnnd other dudes coming around with soup??

You're roomate clearly does anal.

vainandy said:

Damn a boyfriend, they ain't shit anyway. All they're good for is a dick. Hell, you don't need a boyfriend for that and since you're a woman, it's very easy to get all the dick you want. Just walk into a room full of men and say..."I want some dick and which one of you motherfuckers is going to give it to me"....and watch how many hands go up. As for flowers and teddy bears, fuck that shit. Flowers die and teddy bears are for children so you have no reason to be jealous of your roommate because she ain't got shit out those men but some little petty bullshit. Hell, that's a cheap lay. If she was all that, she'd be getting paid.

I think I just pissed my pants...

JustErin said:

Fauxie said:

I'm so conflicted. I know if I give her what she wants she'll be happy and have won, which as a husband is the last thing I want, but dammit if that woman doesn't deserve to have the shit pounded out of her.

I don't picture any other couples having grudge-fucks on their honeymoon.

Bear in mind this isn't unusual, but describes how more than half of our nights out go. We once argued in the taxi at around 3am on the way home about what had been the best value thing to buy in Subway. We'd ended up not buying anything after a stand-off in the restaurant. We argued in the street until a taxi came and continued the 20 mins until we were home. Then I fucked her and came on her face.

I figure I won but did I? I'm always worried that my wife might be enjoying herself. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

.

[Edited 8/30/11 22:53pm]

I will be 23 in a week and some days and I never dated or anything, I graduate in December from college, and... uhhhh thats just life. Idk I felt like maybe I was an alien or something because.. I just dont do well with dating.. never been on a date.. I'm just a bit odd when it comes to the dating deal. I love myself and really when it comes down to it, you just got to love yourself. Look at yourself through the eyes of the creator, not through the foggy mirrors of others. you certainly are not alone, but thats okat because in the end, its all good. Yeah sometimes it depression depending on what angle you look at it from. I.. dont have much to say about it. I mean just know you arent alone.

Y'know what really impresses a guy? Proper punctuation and knowing how to write in paragraphs.

namepeace said:

tinaz said:

So its not OK for us to tell it like it is, but yet you can demean what we have to say and tell her to not listen to us because YOU feel we picked her apart...ands thats perfectly OK, and thats not saying anything about YOU??

Hit dogs holler.

I guess you saw some of yourself in my remark.

The original poster was a young lady. 18. I took the time to check that out before I responded. Some of the responses -- telling it "like it is" -- were not constructive responses to her question. Graycap -- never one to not "tell it like it is" -- had the best response: honest, terse and constructive.

Yours?

You had no less than two choices: draw on your experience to help a girl through a problem, or offer flippant responses disguised as advice. You chose the latter. On top of suggesting she was a fraud and joking around about off-topic matters having nothing to do with the question.

I took her at her word and encouraged her to ignore negativity. I'm fine with what that says about me. you feel good about what you've said to the girl, fine. Our posts offer a glimpse of who we really are. Yours tells me you like piling on a girl young enough to be your daughter, and dealing with depression to boot. Among other things.

But outing yourself as a victimizer to accuse me of the same conduct takes initiative.

Kudos.

[Edited 8/30/11 21:17pm]

I guess if the OP wasnt totally laughable I may just feel a tinge of guilt for joking around, but come on! If she is always coddled her whole life and never told she is being a whiny baby then she will never learn how to properly communicate with men in order to land herself one..

I couldnt draw on my experience because at 18 I was nothing like her... I wasnt even like that at 16... I dont understand that mentality...

My whole point was the approach... You wanna play with the grown ups, then act like one...

Genesia said:

Efan said:

This thread reminded me of one of my favorite Sex and the City quotes: "You are knock-knock-knocking on sad gal door. And nobody likes a sad gal."

Also...you draw to yourself what you put out. So unless you're looking for a whiny, pathetic guy to go with your whiny, pathetic self, buck the hell up.

Okay, Genesia...you know I was with you until you kept throwing out the word pathetic.

Remember... power of the tongue

With the exception of the p-word, I'm all good with your & Efan's points. Sometimes a gal just has to put on her big girl panties, buckle up on concentrate on fufilling herself in other ways without depending on love to do that for them.

[Edited 8/31/11 6:27am]

Serious said:

Okay here is my crazy advice: the easiest thing for you would be to pretend... charisma and vibes ... you can "fake" those. When they find out that you are not that happy and self confident they already fell for you... by pretending you might even get more happy and self confident with time.

oh dear.

RodeoSchro said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

A closet hetero? A gay man too afraid to confess to being hetero?!?! Never heard of that?!

Well once upon a time, for three days Imago listed me as his boo in his signature.

I guess that's as close as I've ever gotten to the closet side of things. Please don't take that away from me.

Ottensen said:

Genesia said:

Also...you draw to yourself what you put out. So unless you're looking for a whiny, pathetic guy to go with your whiny, pathetic self, buck the hell up.

Okay, Genesia...you know I was with you until you kept throwing out the word pathetic.

Remember... power of the tongue

With the exception of the p-word, I'm all good with your & Efan's points. Sometimes a gal just has to put on her big girl panties, buckle up on concentrate on fufilling herself in other ways without depending on love to do that for them.

And you need to check the actual meaning of pathetic, without projecting your own ideas of what I "might" mean.

IamFunkay7 said:

I will be 23 in a week and some days and I never dated or anything, I graduate in December from college, and... uhhhh thats just life. Idk I felt like maybe I was an alien or something because.. I just dont do well with dating.. never been on a date.. I'm just a bit odd when it comes to the dating deal. I love myself and really when it comes down to it, you just got to love yourself. Look at yourself through the eyes of the creator, not through the foggy mirrors of others. you certainly are not alone, but thats okat because in the end, its all good. Yeah sometimes it depression depending on what angle you look at it from. I.. dont have much to say about it. I mean just know you arent alone.

You lack confidence, and I'm guessing that's why you haven't dated. You're entire post goes from one side of the argument to the other, and contains some clear contradictions. Its nice that you're trying to be supportive, but you "don't do well with dating" is not the same as you've "never been on a date." Just... never mind...

johnart said:

I didn't want to come in here and seem insensitive, but since other orgers have beat me to it...

What kind of institution do you attend that every girl buys a vase in preparation of receiving flowers?

It's been a bit since I was in college . Is this a new thing??

Also, 2 bouquets from her boyfriend annnnnd other dudes coming around with soup??

You're roomate clearly does anal.

Genesia said:

Ottensen said:

Okay, Genesia...you know I was with you until you kept throwing out the word pathetic.

Remember... power of the tongue

With the exception of the p-word, I'm all good with your & Efan's points. Sometimes a gal just has to put on her big girl panties, buckle up on concentrate on fufilling herself in other ways without depending on love to do that for them.

And you need to check the actual meaning of pathetic, without projecting your own ideas of what I "might" mean.

Really, now?

Well perhaps you might wanna pump ya breaks for a second, Girlie: for real.

I don't need to check anything, Genesia- I've already studied Greek & know the roots to the word pathetic very well, and recall that I also have a pretty good SAT verbal score. In my estimation, I'm good. But thanks for the suggestion

In all sincerity, what I wanted to express in that post is that in today's society the connotation of the word pathethic is very negative . Would you deny that this isn't true in many cases where the word is casually used today? Given the nature of the thread I was honestly considering the connotation of the words we use when dispensing advice, especially as older women with more seasoned experience in life, and how those words impact others- nothing more, nothing less.

That being said, let me clear: I'm not projecting shit ...so let's not do that dance, mmmm'kay?

There is no need to insult nor condescend in your posts to me, so, for future reference, please don't. It's not necessary.

If you have a problem with what I've just written, I advise you to move it to orgnotes henceforth.

Otherwise I stand by what I said before; I agree with your post that states a person attracts what they put out, but I disagree with referring to the OP as pathetic- for what I thought were obvious reasons. Punto e basta.

Ottensen said:

Genesia said:

And you need to check the actual meaning of pathetic, without projecting your own ideas of what I "might" mean.

Really, now?

Well perhaps you might wanna pump ya breaks for a second, Girlie: for real.

I don't need to check anything, Genesia- I've already studied Greek & know the roots to the word pathetic very well, and recall that I also have a pretty good SAT verbal score. In my estimation, I'm good. But thanks for the suggestion

In all sincerity, what I wanted to express in that post is that in today's society the connotation of the word pathethic is very negative . Would you deny that this isn't true in many cases where the word is casually used today? Given the nature of the thread I was honestly considering the connotation of the words we use when dispensing advice, especially as older women with more seasoned experience in life, and how those words impact others- nothing more, nothing less.

That being said, let me clear: I'm not projecting shit ...so let's not do that dance, mmmm'kay?

There is no need to insult nor condescend in your posts to me, so, for future reference, please don't. It's not necessary.

If you have a problem with what I've just written, I advise you to move it to orgnotes henceforth.

Otherwise I stand by what I said before; I agree with your post that states a person attracts what they put out, but I disagree with referring to the OP as pathetic- for what I thought were obvious reasons. Punto e basta.

You are a piece of work. You come in here and, instead of replying to the OP, proceed to lecture and condescend to me. You need to back the fuck up - and take your own advice about taking something to orgnotes if you have a problem.

I think it's pretty clear who went there first.

Im sorry that i didn't know i had to tell my feelings in the form of a college dissertation.

Im also sorry that I didn't spell check, proofread, look for comma splices, run-ons and indent when I was suppose too. I hope I can make up the grade in extra credit.

[Edited 8/31/11 8:45am]

Efan said:

Hey, we're all here to help you and whenever I come across girls around your age and in their early 20's who say similar things like feeling they want a boyfriend just cause they are done school now or don't have a job yet and things like that, I tell them it's so important to learn to love yourself and focus on enhancing your own life, and most of all, developing self-respect. A good guy will find THAT attractive. Also, someone said earlier guys will get turned off if you throw yourselves onto them and chase them away, but you also have to look out for yourself, cause some guys can easily take advantage of you and your needs. I believe I had similar thoughts when I was 15 going on 16 feeling pressured to have a boyfriend by my 16th birthday cause I felt left out when seeing my friends having them(and not realizing this pressure was intense after a death in the family), and after a difficult death I dealt with 2 years ago, I started to feel alone again though this time I had to focus on doing things for myself, and gave people the same advice I'm giving you, though it eventually led to a bad relationship I'm no longer in. I think you need to sit down with yourself and figure out what voids you are trying to fill in your life. Is it lonliness? Is it feelings of inferiority? Low confidence and self-esteem? Worrying over grades? And believe me, a relationship is like having a job and requires too much energy, consider yourself lucky for having other opportunities in your life. Oh, and buy teddies for your bed, and flowers for your table, you deserve it for yourself! And if people your age are pressuring you, tell them to focus on their own life. I get very irritated if people approach me and say I should date this guy or that guy or whatever or feel shocked I'm not with someone just cause I'm 28 and in their eyes, good looking. Just cause they are happy with having someone doesn't mean it's for everyone.

[Edited 8/31/11 10:23am]

babyjubilation said:

Im sorry that i didn't know i had to tell my feelings in the form of a college dissertation.

Im also sorry that I didn't spell check, proofread, look for comma splices, run-ons and indent when I was suppose too. I hope I can make up the grade in extra credit.

[Edited 8/31/11 8:45am]

Don't worry about that. You'll be fine

babyjubilation said:

Im sorry that i didn't know i had to tell my feelings in the form of a college dissertation.

Im also sorry that I didn't spell check, proofread, look for comma splices, run-ons and indent when I was suppose too. I hope I can make up the grade in extra credit.

[Edited 8/31/11 8:45am]

Don't worry, some people on here have nothing better to do in life than nitpick, it's usually because they don't have anything worth saying.

I hope some of the more sensible responses have comforted you, just hang in there, its something we all have gone through at that kind of age....

[Edited 8/31/11 10:47am]

The government is messing with my post..

[Edited 8/31/11 11:12am]

I like you BJ but, if you got mad at what these people said you need to toughen up girl. :lol:

I'm learning day by day that the world doesn't owe you shat! Not a boyfriend, not some shitty roses, not a sensitive comment...

formallypickles said:

I like you BJ but, if you got mad at what these people said you need to toughen up girl. :lol:

I'm learning day by day that the world doesn't owe you shat! Not a boyfriend, not some shitty roses, not a sensitive comment...

You get what you're willing to give.

It's not about what is owed to anyone.

The girl reached out, and y'all call yourselves giving out tough love, but it comes across as bitterness. Bitter ain't tough.

tinaz said:

namepeace said:

Hit dogs holler.

I guess you saw some of yourself in my remark.

The original poster was a young lady. 18. I took the time to check that out before I responded. Some of the responses -- telling it "like it is" -- were not constructive responses to her question. Graycap -- never one to not "tell it like it is" -- had the best response: honest, terse and constructive.

Yours?

You had no less than two choices: draw on your experience to help a girl through a problem, or offer flippant responses disguised as advice. You chose the latter. On top of suggesting she was a fraud and joking around about off-topic matters having nothing to do with the question.

I took her at her word and encouraged her to ignore negativity. I'm fine with what that says about me. you feel good about what you've said to the girl, fine. Our posts offer a glimpse of who we really are. Yours tells me you like piling on a girl young enough to be your daughter, and dealing with depression to boot. Among other things.

But outing yourself as a victimizer to accuse me of the same conduct takes initiative.

Kudos.

[Edited 8/30/11 21:17pm]

I guess if the OP wasnt totally laughable I may just feel a tinge of guilt for joking around, but come on! If she is always coddled her whole life and never told she is being a whiny baby then she will never learn how to properly communicate with men in order to land herself one..

I couldnt draw on my experience because at 18 I was nothing like her... I wasnt even like that at 16... I dont understand that mentality...

My whole point was the approach... You wanna play with the grown ups, then act like one...

She wasn't playing with you. She was asking for help. I thought she made that clear. And I wasn't aware you knew her to make that judgment about her.

Old folks ain't always grown ups. This thread has proven that.

[Edited 8/31/11 12:14pm]

namepeace said:

formallypickles said:

I like you BJ but, if you got mad at what these people said you need to toughen up girl. :lol:

I'm learning day by day that the world doesn't owe you shat! Not a boyfriend, not some shitty roses, not a sensitive comment...

You get what you're willing to give.

It's not about what is owed to anyone.

The girl reached out, and y'all call yourselves giving out tough love, but it comes across as bitterness. Bitter ain't tough.

^ Totally agree.

namepeace said:

tinaz said:

I guess if the OP wasnt totally laughable I may just feel a tinge of guilt for joking around, but come on! If she is always coddled her whole life and never told she is being a whiny baby then she will never learn how to properly communicate with men in order to land herself one..

I couldnt draw on my experience because at 18 I was nothing like her... I wasnt even like that at 16... I dont understand that mentality...

My whole point was the approach... You wanna play with the grown ups, then act like one...

She wasn't playing with you. She was asking for help. I thought she made that clear. And I wasn't aware you knew her to make that judgment about her.

Old folks ain't always grown ups. This thread has proven that.

[Edited 8/31/11 12:14pm]

EXACTLY!!

So this whole thread is pointless because according to you "I" dont know her so why would she even come on a board full of total strangers and ask US why boys dont like her... How are we supposed to know.. We dont know her.... How are we supposed to tell her how to fix a problem that we have no idea what it involves..

It was a rant, plain and simple, she wasnt asking for help... She was simply disgusted at the point in her life and probably by now realizes it was silly... A RANT, plain and simple... I was never mean to her in the first place so I think your barking up the wrong tree...

I can tell when someone genuinely needs help with a problem, and when someone is just spouting off because they are frustrated... And if people cant take MULTIPLE difference's of opinions, then they ought not ask for them...

^ You've dug yourself an even bigger hole now....just bury it and leave the poor girl alone.

How on earth can you tell if someone is genuine or isn't through an internet forum, its a mad statement to make.

If you or the other negative posters have nothing constructive to say don't say it and move on...leave her to the people that do want to help a fellow human being.

Have some sympathy i'm sure you've had some rough times like that in the past especially when you were a teenager...

[Edited 8/31/11 13:07pm]

To the OP: I don't have much advice but I can say that at least you're young so you have plenty of time to find a boyfriend, that is if the boyfriend doesn't find you first!

And if shyness or something like that is keeping you from meeting someone at least you have a better chance being female since it's kinda expected for guys to take the first step.

I'm 28, will be 29 next month - I'm rather shy and I've never had a girlfriend - closest thing was a 6 months long friends-with-benefits situation last year. And I don't know if I'll find someone, be it a friend with benefits or a girlfriend, anytime soon.

So at least you have 10 MORE years than me to find a S.O.