JuliePurplehead said:

I have crop dusted a time or two but only accidentally. Sometimes a squeak will come out when I cough or sneeze really loudly.

I was in a waiting area in the hospital last week reading a magazine, and the receptionist farted, and I looked up at her and she giggled and said "Oh my, that one just snuck out of me!" I had to giggle myself, then I walked away briskly!

JuliePurplehead said:

Ottensen said:

Farting has always been my weapon of choice when trying to repel odd men who try to flirt with me on the street, particularly the ones who refuse to leave me be . When the old listening to my i-pod or talking on my phone so I'm too distracted to hear you schtick doesn't work- a good obnoxious belch or flatus bomb works wonders in driving the persistent ones away with great ease

OMG... I am truly shocked. That's brilliant. I might have to do that.

I must say, when I am angry I can do anything. Even fart on command.

I never fart in public if I can help it. I tend to fart loudly at home during my usual morning "gorillas".

One time I was pissed because my son's father kept complaining about how our son (8 at the time) stepped into his oh so precious brand new jaguar with a soiled shoe. My son didn't know he stepped in dog poo, but once he realized he did, he quickly jumped out the car and took off his shoes, placed them in his bag and then helped his dad clean the carpet.My son apologized over and over and his father yelled and screamed at him until the boy sobbed uncontrollably.

Well, weeks later when babydaddy gave us a ride, he bitched and moaned the entire time about how his precious car stunk of dog shit. This asshole wouldn't stop until he made his son cry. I was so pissed when he dropped us off I told him he was an asshole and I am glad his car stunk because he cared more for that car than he did for his own son. So as I stepped out his car I let one rip and slammed the car door shut. Babydaddy was double-parked and he had to jump out his car open all the doors while he choked on my ass air. Funniest shit ever, my son felt better and me and my son still laugh about that to this day.

Follow through exists. It happened to a friend of mine (Not me) once when he had the stomach flu, and it was horrible.

I've done it. So what? Where do you think aromatherapy came from?

muirdo said:

I totally got caught letting rip in the pub a few weeks ago.I waited until the next song started on the jukebox and let one go.It was only when everyone turned to look at me that I remembered I was listening to my Ipod.

paintedlady said:

I must say, when I am angry I can do anything. Even fart on command.

I never fart in public if I can help it. I tend to fart loudly at home during my usual morning "gorillas".

One time I was pissed because my son's father kept complaining about how our son (8 at the time) stepped into his oh so precious brand new jaguar with a soiled shoe. My son didn't know he stepped in dog poo, but once he realized he did, he quickly jumped out the car and took off his shoes, placed them in his bag and then helped his dad clean the carpet.My son apologized over and over and his father yelled and screamed at him until the boy sobbed uncontrollably.

Well, weeks later when babydaddy gave us a ride, he bitched and moaned the entire time about how his precious car stunk of dog shit. This asshole wouldn't stop until he made his son cry. I was so pissed when he dropped us off I told him he was an asshole and I am glad his car stunk because he cared more for that car than he did for his own son. So as I stepped out his car I let one rip and slammed the car door shut. Babydaddy was double-parked and he had to jump out his car open all the doors while he choked on my ass air. Funniest shit ever, my son felt better and me and my son still laugh about that to this day.

EmeraldSkies said:

I usually don't fart in public,just cause I just don't usually have to,but when I do

I will usually find an empty isle in the store,and let it go! I then leave quickly,so that the next person that enters that isle doesn't know it was me.

I do that too.

I have a funny fart story: My mom and I were at the airport, sitting watching planes take off and leave. A group of people walked by us to look out the window, and there was an old guy with them. He let out this loud fart in public, and then just kept walking like nothing happened. My mom was not impressed, in fact, I think she was pretty disgusted.

later i will hate myself for posting this idea but someone should invent farty pants. a garment one could wear to make it so farting in public is finally cool. soundproof, odorless... farty pants. they'd go well with a snuggie

I have a friend that has co-worker that breaks wind whenever. Meetings, at her desk, walking down the hall, whenever. I guess she was in a meeting with a client and two other co-workers and she ripped one.

i'm like, seriously? Seriously, she broke wind whenever. My friend called her "Fart Girl to idenitify her in conversation. She was eventually let go...due to "downsizing", but I'd imagine her gas didn't help.

ZombieKitten said:

I was in a line the other day, bent down to adjust my shoe and someone must have just farted and my face just happened to be right at ass level, I nearly DIED!

paintedlady said:

I must say, when I am angry I can do anything. Even fart on command.

I never fart in public if I can help it. I tend to fart loudly at home during my usual morning "gorillas".

One time I was pissed because my son's father kept complaining about how our son (8 at the time) stepped into his oh so precious brand new jaguar with a soiled shoe. My son didn't know he stepped in dog poo, but once he realized he did, he quickly jumped out the car and took off his shoes, placed them in his bag and then helped his dad clean the carpet.My son apologized over and over and his father yelled and screamed at him until the boy sobbed uncontrollably.

Well, weeks later when babydaddy gave us a ride, he bitched and moaned the entire time about how his precious car stunk of dog shit. This asshole wouldn't stop until he made his son cry. I was so pissed when he dropped us off I told him he was an asshole and I am glad his car stunk because he cared more for that car than he did for his own son. So as I stepped out his car I let one rip and slammed the car door shut. Babydaddy was double-parked and he had to jump out his car open all the doors while he choked on my ass air. Funniest shit ever, my son felt better and me and my son still laugh about that to this day.

why did i read this in a liz taylor "cat on a hot tin roof" voice?

KatSkrizzle said:

psychodelicide said:

EmeraldSkies said:

I usually don't fart in public,just cause I just don't usually have to,but when I do

I will usually find an empty isle in the store,and let it go! I then leave quickly,so that the next person that enters that isle doesn't know it was me.

I do that too.

I have a funny fart story: My mom and I were at the airport, sitting watching planes take off and leave. A group of people walked by us to look out the window, and there was an old guy with them. He let out this loud fart in public, and then just kept walking like nothing happened. My mom was not impressed, in fact, I think she was pretty disgusted.

XxAxX said:

later i will hate myself for posting this idea but someone should invent farty pants. a garment one could wear to make it so farting in public is finally cool. soundproof, odorless... farty pants. they'd go well with a snuggie

Put on your fartypants and a snuggy and pay a quick visit to Walmart for some Doritos. I bet you'd be dressed better than anyone there.

EmeraldSkies said:

psychodelicide said:

I do that too.

I have a funny fart story: My mom and I were at the airport, sitting watching planes take off and leave. A group of people walked by us to look out the window, and there was an old guy with them. He let out this loud fart in public, and then just kept walking like nothing happened. My mom was not impressed, in fact, I think she was pretty disgusted.

i've never farted in front of anyone except when i had to shit out the bus window.

my friend can do fanny farts.. 4 the non brits, that's farting from her vag. it's her party piece, she calls it 'walking in the mud'

XxAxX said:

later i will hate myself for posting this idea but someone should invent farty pants. a garment one could wear to make it so farting in public is finally cool. soundproof, odorless... farty pants. they'd go well with a snuggie

HobbesLeCute said:

XxAxX said:

later i will hate myself for posting this idea but someone should invent farty pants. a garment one could wear to make it so farting in public is finally cool. soundproof, odorless... farty pants. they'd go well with a snuggie

Put on your fartypants and a snuggy and pay a quick visit to Walmart for some Doritos. I bet you'd be dressed better than anyone there.

buy me some doritos, gummi worms, diet pop and twizzlers. git back home in time to lay up on the couch and watch the jerry springer show

tinaz said:

XxAxX said:

later i will hate myself for posting this idea but someone should invent farty pants. a garment one could wear to make it so farting in public is finally cool. soundproof, odorless... farty pants. they'd go well with a snuggie

oh. my. god!! someone DID invent farty pants....~!

XxAxX said:

tinaz said:

oh. my. god!! someone DID invent farty pants....~!

paintedlady said:

I must say, when I am angry I can do anything. Even fart on command.

I never fart in public if I can help it. I tend to fart loudly at home during my usual morning "gorillas".

One time I was pissed because my son's father kept complaining about how our son (8 at the time) stepped into his oh so precious brand new jaguar with a soiled shoe. My son didn't know he stepped in dog poo, but once he realized he did, he quickly jumped out the car and took off his shoes, placed them in his bag and then helped his dad clean the carpet.My son apologized over and over and his father yelled and screamed at him until the boy sobbed uncontrollably.

Well, weeks later when babydaddy gave us a ride, he bitched and moaned the entire time about how his precious car stunk of dog shit. This asshole wouldn't stop until he made his son cry. I was so pissed when he dropped us off I told him he was an asshole and I am glad his car stunk because he cared more for that car than he did for his own son. So as I stepped out his car I let one rip and slammed the car door shut. Babydaddy was double-parked and he had to jump out his car open all the doors while he choked on my ass air. Funniest shit ever, my son felt better and me and my son still laugh about that to this day.

oh my damn

I refuse to talk about this subject. lalalalalallalalallala!!!! ugh!!!!

BUT, if I were to ever let one go in front of someone, I will absolutely die.

JuliePurplehead said:

I have crop dusted a time or two but only accidentally. Sometimes a squeak will come out when I cough or sneeze really loudly.

I've trained myself to squeeze my ass cheeks tight when I sneeze. Just in case...

formallypickles said:

paintedlady said:

I must say, when I am angry I can do anything. Even fart on command.

I never fart in public if I can help it. I tend to fart loudly at home during my usual morning "gorillas".

One time I was pissed because my son's father kept complaining about how our son (8 at the time) stepped into his oh so precious brand new jaguar with a soiled shoe. My son didn't know he stepped in dog poo, but once he realized he did, he quickly jumped out the car and took off his shoes, placed them in his bag and then helped his dad clean the carpet.My son apologized over and over and his father yelled and screamed at him until the boy sobbed uncontrollably.

Well, weeks later when babydaddy gave us a ride, he bitched and moaned the entire time about how his precious car stunk of dog shit. This asshole wouldn't stop until he made his son cry. I was so pissed when he dropped us off I told him he was an asshole and I am glad his car stunk because he cared more for that car than he did for his own son. So as I stepped out his car I let one rip and slammed the car door shut. Babydaddy was double-parked and he had to jump out his car open all the doors while he choked on my ass air. Funniest shit ever, my son felt better and me and my son still laugh about that to this day.

why did i read this in a liz taylor "cat on a hot tin roof" voice?

I love Liz Taylor!

dannyd5050 said: