Hey there org, this is my first thread! (But I've been watching your crazyness for awhile)

Anyway, I was seeing this guy, we went out 4 times, and I never got so much as a peck on cheek.

I like him otherwise, we get along well and have tons in common, and I'm sure what we have could easily develope into something more.

Unfortunatly he goes to college in another town, and he just left for the summer. He said he wanted to see me again when he comes back for thanksgiving. We've been texting each other since then, and I miss him. I just feel terribly confused.

Yes, I'm sure these were "dates" we were going on... he paid, planned most of them out, acted very gentlemanly the whole time.

He is very reserved, and he's a strong Catholic too. But I know he's had relatioships in the past.

I guess I'm just looking for some org-ly advice. Is there anything I'm doing wrong?

Thanks all.

AmandaWint3r said:

Hey there org, this is my first thread! (But I've been watching your crazyness for awhile)

Anyway, I was seeing this guy, we went out 4 times, and I never got so much as a peck on cheek.

I like him otherwise, we get along well and have tons in common, and I'm sure what we have could easily develope into something more.

Unfortunatly he goes to college in another town, and he just left for the summer. He said he wanted to see me again when he comes back for thanksgiving. We've been texting each other since then, and I miss him. I just feel terribly confused.

Yes, I'm sure these were "dates" we were going on... he paid, planned most of them out, acted very gentlemanly the whole time.

He is very reserved, and he's a strong Catholic too. But I know he's had relatioships in the past.

I guess I'm just looking for some org-ly advice. Is there anything I'm doing wrong?

Thanks all.

So, you think he is set to live along strong Catholic rulse and postponing physical contact because of his religion and not because he's not atracted to you?

I don't know, if I read your signature, I wonder if the guy really suits you. What do you have in common? What values and morals do you have in common? What hobbies or interests?

Why did you not ask him about it?

Four dates and he never tried to kiss you? Hmmm. I know this may sound judgmental, but I think that's very odd.

Unless this meshes with your own views on dating--and just reading your signature, I'm guessing it does not--I would head for the hills on this one.

i kissed my husband on our first date.

kissing on the first date is completely acceptable. four dates? he's gay.

JerseyKRS said:

kissing on the first date is completely acceptable. four dates? he's gay.

I thought the same.

paintedlady said:

JerseyKRS said:

kissing on the first date is completely acceptable. four dates? he's gay.

I thought the same.

But then why would he go out with me?

AmandaWint3r said:

paintedlady said:

I thought the same.

But then why would he go out with me?

If he's gay and conflicted about it (for religious or any other reason), then he doesn't want people to know he's gay, so he could be trying to cover up by having a girlfriend. The "girlfriend in a different city" story is one of the oldest tricks in the closet. I did that when I was in college. In theory, it throws people off so they don't ask why you're not going after any girls, and you don't have the pesky problem of actually having a girlfriend around.

Alternatively, maybe he really wants to be straight and is seeing you in the hopes that it will click with him.

Efan said:

AmandaWint3r said:

But then why would he go out with me?

If he's gay and conflicted about it (for religious or any other reason), then he doesn't want people to know he's gay, so he could be trying to cover up by having a girlfriend. The "girlfriend in a different city" story is one of the oldest tricks in the closet. I did that when I was in college. In theory, it throws people off so they don't ask why you're not going after any girls, and you don't have the pesky problem of actually having a girlfriend around.

Alternatively, maybe he really wants to be straight and is seeing you in the hopes that it will click with him.

Couldn't of said it better myself.

paintedlady said:

Efan said:

If he's gay and conflicted about it (for religious or any other reason), then he doesn't want people to know he's gay, so he could be trying to cover up by having a girlfriend. The "girlfriend in a different city" story is one of the oldest tricks in the closet. I did that when I was in college. In theory, it throws people off so they don't ask why you're not going after any girls, and you don't have the pesky problem of actually having a girlfriend around.

Alternatively, maybe he really wants to be straight and is seeing you in the hopes that it will click with him.

Couldn't of said it better myself.

Thanks guys... gives me something to think about. Never even crossed my mind before, but you could be right.

paintedlady said:

JerseyKRS said:

kissing on the first date is completely acceptable. four dates? he's gay.

I thought the same.

Me too.

Although...

You don't say how old YOU are. He just left for college. Are you still in high school? Maybe he thought you were nice to hang out with, but kissing was "too much" with a young girl.

[Edited 8/27/11 14:09pm]

chocolate1 said:

paintedlady said:

I thought the same.

Me too.

Or bad breath. You never know.

U went out 4 times and not even a peck on the cheek.....What do u look like..... .......Did u attemp 2 kiss him....On my nites out with a woman she better get ready 4 some tongue action...4 days wow!!! That aint normal....Didnt u touch at all?

chocolate1 said:

paintedlady said:

I thought the same.

Me too.

Although...

You don't say how old YOU are. He just left for college. Are you still in high school? Maybe he thought you were nice to hang out with, but kissing was "too much" with a young girl.

[Edited 8/27/11 14:09pm]

I am in highschool, in fact.

dJJ said:

chocolate1 said:

Me too.

Or bad breath. You never know.

I had breath mints... so not from my end.

U had so much in common yet after 4 dates no kiss..........May eye suggest alittle more sexual aggression from u next time u see him if it bothers u so much!

I think the very wise and astute Chocolate1 has zeroed in on something.

After the 3rd date... you should be gettin somethin. 4 dates and nothin.... well maybe just be friends and see what happens.

4 dates and no kiss is weird as hell.

you're supposed to be boning after 3 dates, at the latest.

4 dates and no kiss seems a bit odd Have you tried kissing him? Maybe he's not sure you want to Or maybe it's what everyone else said

Efan said:

I think the very wise and astute Chocolate1 has zeroed in on something.

She's in HIGH SCHOOL people!

Maybe he was trying to not take advantage of a minor!

Amanda, he may a girlfriend at college...

chocolate1 said:

Efan said:

I think the very wise and astute Chocolate1 has zeroed in on something.

She's in HIGH SCHOOL people!

Maybe he was trying to not take advantage of a minor!

Amanda, he may a girlfriend at college...

But if he has a girlfriend at college and still trying to go out with her, he might not be concerned about kissin' other girls or taking advantage of a minor in the first place...

You didn't get a peck??? I'm pretty conservative, but I've at least given/gotten pecks by the second date.

[Edited 8/27/11 22:04pm]

I always expect a kiss on the first date, if I'm into him. Maybe he just wants to go slow? Or be friends?

JerseyKRS said:

kissing on the first date is completely encouraged. four dates? he's gay.

Fixed it.

So because he's different, and has chosen to not plant a kiss on someone after only 4 dates (regardless of how the thread starter may look), dude is most likely homosexual.....That's pretty absurd. And I don't automatically assume it's because he's not truly interested in her (as a heterosexual) either.

To the thread starter: I doubt you've done anything "wrong" since he apparently wants to continue talking and texting with you in a romantic manner. Maybe he was too unsure of how you would react, and didn't want to risk making you uncomfortable by trying to kiss so soon. Or, since you mentioned he's a "strong Catholic," his beliefs regarding morality may prevent him from being too initimate too quickly. Or, he could even be germophobic, and felt that he didn't know you enough yet. You also said he's "very reserved," so that kind of explains itself: He may be too shy (physically) or self-conscious to initiate a kiss so fast. Who knows. Since the situation is confusing to you, maybe you should inquire about his kissing history. Turn the topic into a simple discussion. He probably will tell the reason(s) for why he hasn't tried to share one with you so far, which would hopefully make you feel better. But, if he seems strange or resistant while you're trying to talk with him about it, and doesn't give you any clear answers or is hypocritical, then I would agree with you feeling suspicious, 'cause at that point he'd be showing that he's hiding something and/or misleading you, in my opinion.

WaterInYourBath said:

So because he's different, and has chosen to not plant a kiss on someone after only 4 dates (regardless of how the thread starter may look), dude is most likely homosexual.....That's pretty absurd. And I don't automatically assume it's because he's not truly interested in her (as a heterosexual) either

A sense of humor is, simply put, the ability to be amused. Most people have one, and are able to laugh at jokes, humorous situations, and a variety of other potential sources of amusement. In humans, it develops at a very early age, and is often considered to be a vital part of human development. Some animals also appear to find things funny, with the ability to enact jokes and comedies of their own.

The sense of humor appears to be an important part of human survival. The ability to laugh can dispel tension, for example, while an understanding of complex situations can help people to make good decisions. People with a well-developed sense of humor appear to be happier in psychological studies, and some are healthier as well, suggesting that it may just be good for you.

Not everyone has a sense of humor. People with autism, Asperger's syndrome, and a variety of developmental disabilities sometimes lack one, or have a very strange one. For some people, this can be very awkward, as it plays a vital role in human interactions. An autistic, for example, might have a very well-developed personal sense of humor, but an inability to understand why a knock-knock joke is funny. People without one may find themselves belittled, mocked, or treated as stupid, leading to anxiety and depression.

AmandaWint3r said:

Hey there org, this is my first thread! (But I've been watching your crazyness for awhile)

Anyway, I was seeing this guy, we went out 4 times, and I never got so much as a peck on cheek.

I like him otherwise, we get along well and have tons in common, and I'm sure what we have could easily develope into something more.

Unfortunatly he goes to college in another town, and he just left for the summer. He said he wanted to see me again when he comes back for thanksgiving. We've been texting each other since then, and I miss him. I just feel terribly confused.

Yes, I'm sure these were "dates" we were going on... he paid, planned most of them out, acted very gentlemanly the whole time.

He is very reserved, and he's a strong Catholic too. But I know he's had relatioships in the past.

I guess I'm just looking for some org-ly advice. Is there anything I'm doing wrong?

Thanks all.

I'm not understanding something....Does he live in another town nearby or another State? I mean, if he lives nearby why is he having to wait another 2 months to see you or Vice-Versa? He can drive-up to see you sometimes on the weekends & you can go see him..Are we talking about maybe a 30min or 1hr drive?

If he's going to school in another State that's a different story...

Cerebus said:

WaterInYourBath said:

So because he's different, and has chosen to not plant a kiss on someone after only 4 dates (regardless of how the thread starter may look), dude is most likely homosexual.....That's pretty absurd. And I don't automatically assume it's because he's not truly interested in her (as a heterosexual) either

A sense of humor is, simply put, the ability to be amused. Most people have one, and are able to laugh at jokes, humorous situations, and a variety of other potential sources of amusement. In humans, it develops at a very early age, and is often considered to be a vital part of human development. Some animals also appear to find things funny, with the ability to enact jokes and comedies of their own.

The sense of humor appears to be an important part of human survival. The ability to laugh can dispel tension, for example, while an understanding of complex situations can help people to make good decisions. People with a well-developed sense of humor appear to be happier in psychological studies, and some are healthier as well, suggesting that it may just be good for you.

Not everyone has a sense of humor. People with autism, Asperger's syndrome, and a variety of developmental disabilities sometimes lack one, or have a very strange one. For some people, this can be very awkward, as it plays a vital role in human interactions. An autistic, for example, might have a very well-developed personal sense of humor, but an inability to understand why a knock-knock joke is funny. People without one may find themselves belittled, mocked, or treated as stupid, leading to anxiety and depression.

Gee, you've somehow got your posts mixed up. Peculiar. Perhaps you were viewing two different threads in separate tabs in your browser, or something, and obviously put this unrelated reply here by mistake. Whatever the reason, double-check topic titles before you add any responses next time, to avoid this type of odd error.

He may just be shy....it may be his first kiss so he may be scared, or maybe you don't give the signals that you'd like him to kiss you.

It could be the strict upbringing too.

The fact you've been on many dates means he IS interested. You don't go on dates again if there is nothing there.

Give him the signals and if you are shy too, just hold hands or something, that may lead into it. Also maybe ask him what he feels about things....it could be he sees this as a friendship...but the sooner you find out the better I guess as you know where you stand...

[Edited 8/28/11 2:22am]

idk thats a good question, I've always wondered?