I am really bummed about this. K's been cutting my hair for over 7 years - she gave me a great cut under huge stress (two days before my play opened - when the director suddenly decided she wanted a different look and I couldn't get in to my regular stylist), but for the last 6 months to a year, she just ain't gettin' it done.

I don't know whether she needs glasses and doesn't realize it (or won't admit it) or if she is just losing it, but her attention to detail has totally gone in the shitter. The haircut - while it looks great - isn't even. I have brought it to her attention time and time again - and it isn't getting any better.

And then, last night, I got home and Sweetie said, "What's that spot on the back of your neck?" Well, it was color. Color she'd schmutzed on my neck and not gotten off. After about five minutes of scrubbing (I don't keep color remover at home), he got it to a point where it isn't noticeable. But what if he hadn't been home last night? (He travels a lot.) I'd've been walking around with haircolor on my neck for gawd knows how long.

To her credit, she is always cheerful about making it right. But I just don't have time to keep running across town to fix a haircut that should be right to begin with. And I really like her as a person, but to quote a wise man, "this is a bidness." I just don't know what to do - how to fire her or how to go about hiring somebody new.

shave ur head

darlin i wish you were closer i would love to do your hair !!!

Make an appointment somewhere else? :confused: Is there some part of this question Cerebus is not understanding? Is it a test.... could we please have multiple choice options....

A Hairdresser would only have one chance to mess up my hair and that would be all it would take to make appointments elsewhere ... The "breakup" would happen as soon as I felt not good about MY hair ...

Cerebus said:

Make an appointment somewhere else? :confused: Is there some part of this question Cerebus is not understanding? Is it a test.... could we please have multiple choice options....

To be honest, this is something a lot of guys don't get. Most women have a relationship with their hair (and, by extension, their hairdressers) that men just don't.

insatiable3 said:

darlin i wish you were closer i would love to do your hair !!!

I'd probably give you a shot at it!

You just go to some other place and provided that you live in a big enough city you'll never have to even see your current one?

This was actually a pretty tough issue for me as a teenager because mine always give me a discount due to knowing that I didn't come from a very wealthy family and she also knew that I also wanted to have some type of "rock" hair instead of a "bloke" haircut. I didn't have to explain to her that I didn't want to look like most of the other guys - which was a real problem with the other "barbers" at the time.

Haven't been to one in 10 years though. You should just date someone that can do it for you.

Genesia said:

insatiable3 said:

darlin i wish you were closer i would love to do your hair !!!

I'd probably give you a shot at it!

novabrkr said:

You just go to some other place and provided that you live in a big enough city you'll never have to even see your current one?

This was actually a pretty tough issue for me as a teenager because mine always give me a discount due to knowing that I didn't come from a very wealthy family and she also knew that I also wanted to have some type of "rock" hair instead of a "bloke" haircut. I didn't have to explain to her that I didn't want to look like most of the other guys - which was a real problem with the other "barbers" at the time.

Haven't been to one in 10 years though. You should just date someone that can do it for you.

Sweetie already cleaned the haircolor off the back of my neck and razored me where she got sloppy. That's as far as he goes.

The other thing is that her prices are reasonable. (Not cheap - but not at the level of a full-priced salon and spa.) I know that if I go to someone else, I'm going to have sticker shock for awhile.

Genesia said:

Cerebus said:

Make an appointment somewhere else? :confused: Is there some part of this question Cerebus is not understanding? Is it a test.... could we please have multiple choice options....

To be honest, this is something a lot of guys don't get. Most women have a relationship with their hair (and, by extension, their hairdressers) that men just don't.

No, I get that. But in fairness, that's not really what you asked. You asked how to "breakup" with him. My answer stands: make an appointment with somebody else. I can't help you with your breakup guilt. That's on you.

To be honest, at this point, I just want to make an appointment with someone else to have them "check" the haircut - just to verify that I'm not crazy in thinking it's off.

It's just hard for me to believe she can't see the problem even when it's pointed out to her.

As for your current hairdresser, just quit showing up. Either it won't even enter her mind amid juggling all her other customers or it'll strike her enough to perhaps phone you one day... and that'd be your cue to air concerns without it coming off as an offensive. She may benefit from it.

As for finding a new hairdresser in the meantime, I got nothing. I know how tough that is.

Just stop making appointments. That is what I'm about 2 do with my dentist.

Lammastide said:

As for your current hairdresser, just quit showing up. Either it won't even enter her mind amid juggling all her other customers or it'll strike her enough to perhaps phone you one day... and that'd be your cue to air concerns without it coming off as an offensive. She may benefit from it.

As for finding a new hairdresser in the meantime, I got nothing. I know how tough that is.

That's the hardest part of the whole thing. Having hair that always looks great is one of my "things." It scares the bejeezuz out of me to take a chance on someone I don't know.

Tell her you're going on an extended vacation. While on your vacation, see another stylist.

Either that or tell her you've got a contagious scalp condition and have to decline her services for an indeterminate amount of time.

HotGritz said:

Tell her you're going on an extended vacation. While on your vacation, see another stylist.

Either that or tell her you've got a contagious scalp condition and have to decline her services for an indeterminate amount of time.

Great. So my choices are: unethical or gross.

Genesia said:

HotGritz said:

Tell her you're going on an extended vacation. While on your vacation, see another stylist.

Either that or tell her you've got a contagious scalp condition and have to decline her services for an indeterminate amount of time.

Great. So my choices are: unethical or gross.

we are living in dark times

I think you just gotta do it. Rip off the band-aid; it sucks but you'll feel better about it afterward if you're just upfront and honest with her. You've been seeing her a while, you have a good relationship at this point, and you probably like her. I think you owe her a conversation where you just honestly say that you haven't been happy with your last few cuts and you're going to see someone else. It might even be a favor to her: Maybe it'll help her shape up and stop her from losing other clients.

Efan said:

I think you just gotta do it. Rip off the band-aid; it sucks but you'll feel better about it afterward if you're just upfront and honest with her. You've been seeing her a while, you have a good relationship at this point, and you probably like her. I think you owe her a conversation where you just honestly say that you haven't been happy with your last few cuts and you're going to see someone else. It might even be a favor to her: Maybe it'll help her shape up and stop her from losing other clients.

That last part is truer than you know - she's already lost my sister and niece. (No, we are not a family of hair-obsessed malcontents. )

You're right, of course. It's just that - contrary to the conventional wisdom - I really am pretty non-confrontational.

I'm a bad client...I just stopped going to my hairdresser of about 10 years and didn't even tell her why . I feel so bad, cause I hate when people ditch me without warning, but I decided to stop having my hair straightened, and I just don't think she would know what to do with me now that I'm turning into Scary Spice.

I usually just leave and start a new life at a different salon.

I had to do this with the lady that did our hair before we moved. She gave a great haircut (I think I might have posted about this) but it took her for-fuckin-everrrrrrrrrr. I would try not to engage in conversation, as much as I liked her, because the instruments would immediately leave my head til she was done talking. She just couldnt' do both at once.

At the place we go now, (a regular ole haircuttery ) we've been cheating on our regular lady with Antonio, because she just hasn't been there when it's worked out for us.

But we're fixin to up and move again. We want to go somewhere a bit more upscale (for lack of a better word) where one of us could do manni-peddi while the other gets his haircut, since we usually end up with the same stylist and go at the same time.

johnart said:

I usually just leave and start a new life at a different salon.

I had to do this with the lady that did our hair before we moved. She gave a great haircut (I think I might have posted about this) but it took her for-fuckin-everrrrrrrrrr. I would try not to engage in conversation, as much as I liked her, because the instruments would immediately leave my head til she was done talking. She just couldnt' do both at once.

At the place we go now, (a regular ole haircuttery ) we've been cheating on our regular lady with Antonio, because she just hasn't been there when it's worked out for us.

But we're fixin to up and move again. We want to go somewhere a bit more upscale (for lack of a better word) where one of us could do manni-peddi while the other gets his haircut, since we usually end up with the same stylist and go at the same time.

Ooh, there's a men's salon like that in New York on the East Side (I'm sure there are several, but this is the only one I've been to). They offer you a drink when you come in (the reception area is shaped like a bar) and they have a mani-pedi station behind all the salon chairs. It was a fun place to go.

I've never even gone to a hairdresser enough for this type of thing to be an issue because I hate hair salons. You end up in there all day and you have to sit still doing absolutely nothing for long periods of time, it's a pain in the ass. Plus I've never really come out of there liking what they've done to my hair.

My advice would be to just stop showing up, just start going someplace else lol.

Efan said:

johnart said:

I usually just leave and start a new life at a different salon.

I had to do this with the lady that did our hair before we moved. She gave a great haircut (I think I might have posted about this) but it took her for-fuckin-everrrrrrrrrr. I would try not to engage in conversation, as much as I liked her, because the instruments would immediately leave my head til she was done talking. She just couldnt' do both at once.

At the place we go now, (a regular ole haircuttery ) we've been cheating on our regular lady with Antonio, because she just hasn't been there when it's worked out for us.

But we're fixin to up and move again. We want to go somewhere a bit more upscale (for lack of a better word) where one of us could do manni-peddi while the other gets his haircut, since we usually end up with the same stylist and go at the same time.

Ooh, there's a men's salon like that in New York on the East Side (I'm sure there are several, but this is the only one I've been to). They offer you a drink when you come in (the reception area is shaped like a bar) and they have a mani-pedi station behind all the salon chairs. It was a fun place to go.

You said the magic word.

Genesia said:

Efan said:

Ooh, there's a men's salon like that in New York on the East Side (I'm sure there are several, but this is the only one I've been to). They offer you a drink when you come in (the reception area is shaped like a bar) and they have a mani-pedi station behind all the salon chairs. It was a fun place to go.

You said the magic word.

Oh who am I kidding?

johnart said:

I usually just leave and start a new life at a different salon.

I had to do this with the lady that did our hair before we moved. She gave a great haircut (I think I might have posted about this) but it took her for-fuckin-everrrrrrrrrr. I would try not to engage in conversation, as much as I liked her, because the instruments would immediately leave my head til she was done talking. She just couldnt' do both at once.

At the place we go now, (a regular ole haircuttery ) we've been cheating on our regular lady with Antonio, because she just hasn't been there when it's worked out for us.

But we're fixin to up and move again. We want to go somewhere a bit more upscale (for lack of a better word) where one of us could do manni-peddi while the other gets his haircut, since we usually end up with the same stylist and go at the same time.

I'm going to have to say something because I still have one more appointment booked with her - and I won't just not show up. Luckily, her phone system is voicemail only - so it never rings in the "salon." (She has a single-chair space in a building that is all single-operator mini salons.)

johnart said:

Genesia said:

You said the magic word.

Oh who am I kidding?

I astounded you kept a straight face even that long.

Genesia said:

johnart said:

I usually just leave and start a new life at a different salon.

I had to do this with the lady that did our hair before we moved. She gave a great haircut (I think I might have posted about this) but it took her for-fuckin-everrrrrrrrrr. I would try not to engage in conversation, as much as I liked her, because the instruments would immediately leave my head til she was done talking. She just couldnt' do both at once.

At the place we go now, (a regular ole haircuttery ) we've been cheating on our regular lady with Antonio, because she just hasn't been there when it's worked out for us.

But we're fixin to up and move again. We want to go somewhere a bit more upscale (for lack of a better word) where one of us could do manni-peddi while the other gets his haircut, since we usually end up with the same stylist and go at the same time.

I'm going to have to say something because I still have one more appointment booked with her - and I won't just not show up. Luckily, her phone system is voicemail only - so it never rings in the "salon." (She has a single-chair space in a building that is all single-operator mini salons.)

Then just be honest. Just say it hasn't been the same. Maybe being aware of it will make her get back on her game...since you were happy with her to begin with. And if it doesn't, you've laid it out so it's not like she didn't have a chance at keeping a client.