blackbob said:

Was at a funeral yesterday with my girlfriend and I overheard her talking to some loser who had lost his wife and family by losing everything on heavy gambling and was now living with his mum.....he asked my girlfriend how it was where she lived and she replied ' its a shithole...I hate it '....now I know we don't live in the best area in the world but its far from the the worst...I have bust my ass doing the house we have up and we have spend thousands And thousands on it......am I right to be annoyed that she is saying this to people?

yeah! geesh! did you bring it up to her? (afterwards I mean) I think I'd be more upset at that's how she felt about the place and you didn't even know it.

[Edited 8/24/11 11:29am]

And you didnt say anything to her?

tinaz said:

And you didnt say anything to her?

Why should he? Ask the internet!!!!

ludwig said:

tinaz said:

And you didnt say anything to her?

Why should he? Ask the internet!!!!

ludwig said:

tinaz said:

And you didnt say anything to her?

Why should he? Ask the internet!!!!

Was that comment necessary?

Dude, no disrespect, this is only based on the many threads about your girlfriend you've posted here.

She sounds like a major bitch.

i didnt bring it up because it was one of her best friends that had died so i thought i'd better leave it....she has her good side but i dont understand her sometimes..

.i said today when i came in from work that she shouldnt be saying that to people but she just said that i am always moaning at her so she is in a huff...i am just not sure sometimes if its ME that is overreacting to her actions...thats why i post these things on here because i question myself about them and i need other people's opinions on it to make sure i am not going off my head...

it annoyed me because the guy she was saying this too left his wife and his 3 kids with nothing after gambing his house and everything away... he is obviously living in a respectable area with his mum while i am busting my ass working and decorating so she can say these things to losers like him..!!

.

Bob, no offense, but it might be time for you to re-evaluate if this is the right relationship and person for you for the long term. I would hope that you'd like to be in a relationship where your partner builds you up, and is a compliment to you emotionally, spiritually, physically, and yes, financially. If she is dissatisfied with the life and environment you two share together, then she should have the balls to discuss it with you personally, and then be woman enough to contribute constructive ideas for how you two can progress in a constructive, positive, and unified direction.

A relationship should be about having each other's back- not tearing each other down because of unmet (and usually non-vocalized) expectations.

Ottensen said:

Bob, no offense, but it might be time for you to re-evaluate if this is the right relationship and person for you for the long term. I would hope that you'd like to be in a relationship where your partner builds you up, and is a compliment to you emotionally, spiritually, physically, and yes, financially. If she is dissatisfied with the life and environment you two share together, then she should have the balls to discuss it with you personally, and then be woman enough to contribute constructive ideas for how you two can progress in a constructive, positive, and unified direction.

A relationship should be about having each other's back- not tearing each other down because of unmet (and usually non-vocalized) expectations.

you seem more annoyed that she said this to some loser...when to me, you should be concerned that she feels that way at all....especially if you didn't know she thought she lived in a shit hole.

she may have just been saying that cuz the guy died, to make him feel better. but perhaps saying, it's alright, or it's not wonderful would be better

i suppose you live in scotland, which is a shithole, so she isn't really wrong. plus you live in glasgow, which is a shithole within a shithole. so if you live in a shit area of glasgow, she's probably speaking the truth

just slap her about a bit and call her a cunt, whilst drinking special brew and buckie and make the most of your shitty existance

any more life tutoring and you know where i am ya bass

Shorty said:

you seem more annoyed that she said this to some loser...when to me, you should be concerned that she feels that way at all....especially if you didn't know she thought she lived in a shit hole.

I'm guessing he's feeling something of a ripple effect and feeling attacked on all sorts of fronts; the disillusion with her view of their living circumstances, the shock in accidentally discovering her feelings, and the embarrassment and feelings of betrayal from hearing her say this someone else, and someone who he feels is kinda dodgy on top of it all. Only Bob really knows for sure if any of that is applicable to his situation or not- it's just a hunch on my part.

unique said:

You could always help her pack, move out and into her own shithole ...

Machaela said:

You could always help her pack, move out and into her own shithole ...

This!

Machaela said:

You could always help her pack, move out and into her own shithole ...

Exactly. And tell her to not let the door hit her in the ass on the way out.

Machaela said:

You could always help her pack, move out and into her own shithole ...

I like that too!

don't forget to tell her your keeping the kid.

i know we dont live in the best place...i am under no illusion about that...but i have lived in far worse places ...i would never say to anyone that i live in a shithole....its demeaning and paints everyone who lives there with the same brush...plenty of good hard working people live in poor areas due to various reasons and where we live aint that bad...

i know what she was doing...she was trying to make out to this guy that the area we live in is beneath her...believe me..she didnt come from any posh suburb so i dont know what she was talking about...

anyway ..thanks for the replys guys..i always appreciate them..

.

blackbob said:

Was at a funeral yesterday with my girlfriend and I overheard her talking to some loser who had lost his wife and family by losing everything on heavy gambling and was now living with his mum.....he asked my girlfriend how it was where she lived and she replied ' its a shithole...I hate it '....now I know we don't live in the best area in the world but its far from the the worst...I have bust my ass doing the house we have up and we have spend thousands And thousands on it......am I right to be annoyed that she is saying this to people?

Maybe you're the loser. That's why you are with her.

ConsciousContact said:

blackbob said:

Was at a funeral yesterday with my girlfriend and I overheard her talking to some loser who had lost his wife and family by losing everything on heavy gambling and was now living with his mum.....he asked my girlfriend how it was where she lived and she replied ' its a shithole...I hate it '....now I know we don't live in the best area in the world but its far from the the worst...I have bust my ass doing the house we have up and we have spend thousands And thousands on it......am I right to be annoyed that she is saying this to people?

Maybe you're the loser. That's why you are with her.

I don't think so. From reading his posts (esp as of late @ the GF), Bob seems like a hella nice guy. I'm with the naysayers on this one. SHE needs to hit the bricks methinks.

Yes this isn't the first time she's been disrespectful and self-centred from what you've said.

My advice is if you don't have kids with her then get out or kick her out (if its your place).

Life is too short to be stuck in shit relationships....you've given it a good innings, talk to her see what she feels, you need to make it clear how much those comments hurt and if she loves you she should respect that, if she doesn't respect that then its time to take control and say its time to call it a day.

Much easier said than done but it may be for the best in the long run. There are plenty of single women out there at your age that would kill for a nice honest guy like you.

If you have kids with her, stay with.....for the kids if nothing else...

[Edited 8/24/11 14:37pm]

[Edited 8/24/11 14:49pm]

But Glasgay is a beautiful city, whatever can she mean?

Ottensen said:

Bob, no offense, but it might be time for you to re-evaluate if this is the right relationship and person for you for the long term. I would hope that you'd like to be in a relationship where your partner builds you up, and is a compliment to you emotionally, spiritually, physically, and yes, financially. If she is dissatisfied with the life and environment you two share together, then she should have the balls to discuss it with you personally, and then be woman enough to contribute constructive ideas for how you two can progress in a constructive, positive, and unified direction.

A relationship should be about having each other's back- not tearing each other down because of unmet (and usually non-vocalized) expectations.

Nice.

Lammastide said:

Ottensen said:

Bob, no offense, but it might be time for you to re-evaluate if this is the right relationship and person for you for the long term. I would hope that you'd like to be in a relationship where your partner builds you up, and is a compliment to you emotionally, spiritually, physically, and yes, financially. If she is dissatisfied with the life and environment you two share together, then she should have the balls to discuss it with you personally, and then be woman enough to contribute constructive ideas for how you two can progress in a constructive, positive, and unified direction.

A relationship should be about having each other's back- not tearing each other down because of unmet (and usually non-vocalized) expectations.

Nice.

That was really well said. one thing that IS a little un-clear from Bob's post here is exactly how much honest & repectful dialogue about the feelings involved is taking place beween these two. Seems like maybe some constructive dialogue might be worth a shot.

Bob seems to be doing an awful lot on behalf of his relationships (his kids included), just seems like there might be some hope here if they could just REALLY talk everything over.

ConsciousContact said:

blackbob said:

Was at a funeral yesterday with my girlfriend and I overheard her talking to some loser who had lost his wife and family by losing everything on heavy gambling and was now living with his mum.....he asked my girlfriend how it was where she lived and she replied ' its a shithole...I hate it '....now I know we don't live in the best area in the world but its far from the the worst...I have bust my ass doing the house we have up and we have spend thousands And thousands on it......am I right to be annoyed that she is saying this to people?

Maybe you're the loser. That's why you are with her.

your girlfriend kinda sounds mean

blackbob said:

Was at a funeral yesterday with my girlfriend and I overheard her talking to some loser who had lost his wife and family by losing everything on heavy gambling and was now living with his mum.....he asked my girlfriend how it was where she lived and she replied ' its a shithole...I hate it '....now I know we don't live in the best area in the world but its far from the the worst...I have bust my ass doing the house we have up and we have spend thousands And thousands on it......am I right to be annoyed that she is saying this to people?

maybe she said it to make that person feel better about his situation

blackbob said:

i know we dont live in the best place...i am under no illusion about that...but i have lived in far worse places ...i would never say to anyone that i live in a shithole....its demeaning and paints everyone who lives there with the same brush...plenty of good hard working people live in poor areas due to various reasons and where we live aint that bad...

i know what she was doing...she was trying to make out to this guy that the area we live in is beneath her...believe me..she didnt come from any posh suburb so i dont know what she was talking about...

anyway ..thanks for the replys guys..i always appreciate them..

.

you don't have to apologize for not being rich, having a Big White Mansion. besides, if you get started apologizing i'll have to join you because i've lived in tons of shitholes. but you know what? that's not what counts. (okay, yeah it does to some degree but that's relative), what counts is it's home. be it ever so humble there's no place like it.