SeventeenDayze said:

MyNameIsPiper said:

Call me crazy but I think it's good that you wait because it leaves a bit of mystery. I wonder if a lot of guys lose interest in a chick because she put out too soon. So, if I'm into a guy but want him to be a bit patient, what can I do to show him I'm not a prude but I'm not down with a three date rule or waiting a few meaningless weeks before putting out. There's also a significant age gap between us (he's 18 years older than me).

My longest relationship, over six years, was with a woman I had sex with two days after I met her. Would have had sex the first night but she was trippin' balls on acid and puked on herself (I held her hair ). So, yeah, I don't really think this has anything to do with people staying together. If you click, you click. And like spinlight said (in slightly different words), sex is only part of a relationship. If the rest doesn't work the sex won't matter anyway.

MyNameIsPiper said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Call me crazy but I think it's good that you wait because it leaves a bit of mystery. I wonder if a lot of guys lose interest in a chick because she put out too soon. So, if I'm into a guy but want him to be a bit patient, what can I do to show him I'm not a prude but I'm not down with a three date rule or waiting a few meaningless weeks before putting out. There's also a significant age gap between us (he's 18 years older than me).

Wait until you are comfortable. There's no need to rush things, but there's also no need to wait if you truly feel it's right, and make sure you've vetted him thoroughly before that. Me personally, I'm waiting because I know (after several experiences, mind you) that it's right for me. If I was truly ready, I would've done it by now.

Talk it out and be completely honest. Tends to separate the men from the boys (even "old" boys) if you're looking for something serious.

Yeah that's good advice, I guess it helps not to put myself in a situation where I might let my hormones get the best of me! LOL!

SeventeenDayze said:

MyNameIsPiper said:

Wait until you are comfortable. There's no need to rush things, but there's also no need to wait if you truly feel it's right, and make sure you've vetted him thoroughly before that. Me personally, I'm waiting because I know (after several experiences, mind you) that it's right for me. If I was truly ready, I would've done it by now.

Talk it out and be completely honest. Tends to separate the men from the boys (even "old" boys) if you're looking for something serious.

Yeah that's good advice, I guess it helps not to put myself in a situation where I might let my hormones get the best of me! LOL!

Totally agree about waiting until you're both ready and talking about it. But as far as it seperating "men from boys", absolute nonsense. Honestly, that makes no kind of sense at all.

Cerebus said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Yeah that's good advice, I guess it helps not to put myself in a situation where I might let my hormones get the best of me! LOL!

Totally agree about waiting until you're both ready and talking about it. But as far as it seperating "men from boys", absolute nonsense. Honestly, that makes no kind of sense at all.

Are you man enough to respect a woman's decision to wait (if she so chooses) or are you not?

Makes plenty of sense to me.

MyNameIsPiper said:

Cerebus said:

Totally agree about waiting until you're both ready and talking about it. But as far as it seperating "men from boys", absolute nonsense. Honestly, that makes no kind of sense at all.

Are you man enough to respect a woman's decision to wait (if she so chooses) or are you not?

Makes plenty of sense to me.

That has nothing to do with being a man. And if you really think it does then you need to find a better dating pool.

I'm not trying to be a dick about it, either. But I am quite serious. That ain't what being a man is about.

Cerebus said:

MyNameIsPiper said:

Are you man enough to respect a woman's decision to wait (if she so chooses) or are you not?

Makes plenty of sense to me.

That has nothing to do with being a man. And if you really think it does then you need to find a better dating pool.

I'm not trying to be a dick about it, either. But I am quite serious. That ain't what being a man is about.

Man, I ain't worried about dating right now. The swamp they dare call a "dating pool" in my city is full of a bunch of immature punks who like to talk a bunch of shit and call you unnecessary names whenever you don't put out. Reminds me of high school boys, and I don't have time to wade through the bullshit.

Respecting that decision is one of the qualities I look for in a guy, and that, along with several other positive qualities, makes me see him as a man instead of a boy. Not saying anyone has to agree with me; that's just how I personally feel.

[Edited 8/21/11 21:06pm]

MyNameIsPiper said:

Cerebus said:

That has nothing to do with being a man. And if you really think it does then you need to find a better dating pool.

I'm not trying to be a dick about it, either. But I am quite serious. That ain't what being a man is about.

Well, you're right about one thing. The swamp they dare call a "dating pool" in my city contains more than a few immature punks who like to talk a bunch of shit and call you unnecessary names whenever you don't put out. Reminds me of high school boys.

[Edited 8/21/11 20:58pm]

Yeah I think I've reached the point now where I'm starting to think that guys who are single over a certain age have some serious issue with them. For the sake of not hurting anyone's feelings, I won't say what the "certain age" is but it seems like they have a bigger pool of women to choose from at that age since there' s always more single women than men. So, if a guy can't find himself if a stable relationship after a certain age, I will really think something's wrong with him. It's not like when you're a woman (say over 25 or so) who hopefully has a bit of common sense and then finds herself having to deal with guys who are morons or used to having women pay for everything for them....In other words, it's not surprising that a woman these days is single but very surprising that a guy is single, given how they have so many options it seems...

Sorry if I sound bitter, pathetic or too cynical, lol, just writing how I feel

And another thing, I met this dude online and we've been talking on the phone a few weeks and haven't met in person yet but he brings up sex a lot (amongst other things). He said the only reason we haven't met in person is a back injury that's got him in pain (um...ok). I call at different times at night pretty late so I can tell he doesn't live with anyone. I feel like an idiot but I hope it's worth waiting a few more weeks to meet this dude! Maybe it's better this way, who knows.

SeventeenDayze said:

MyNameIsPiper said:

Well, you're right about one thing. The swamp they dare call a "dating pool" in my city contains more than a few immature punks who like to talk a bunch of shit and call you unnecessary names whenever you don't put out. Reminds me of high school boys.

[Edited 8/21/11 20:58pm]

Yeah I think I've reached the point now where I'm starting to think that guys who are single over a certain age have some serious issue with them. For the sake of not hurting anyone's feelings, I won't say what the "certain age" is but it seems like they have a bigger pool of women to choose from at that age since there' s always more single women than men. So, if a guy can't find himself if a stable relationship after a certain age, I will really think something's wrong with him. It's not like when you're a woman (say over 25 or so) who hopefully has a bit of common sense and then finds herself having to deal with guys who are morons or used to having women pay for everything for them....In other words, it's not surprising that a woman these days is single but very surprising that a guy is single, given how they have so many options it seems...

Sorry if I sound bitter, pathetic or too cynical, lol, just writing how I feel

And another thing, I met this dude online and we've been talking on the phone a few weeks and haven't met in person yet but he brings up sex a lot (amongst other things). He said the only reason we haven't met in person is a back injury that's got him in pain (um...ok). I call at different times at night pretty late so I can tell he doesn't live with anyone. I feel like an idiot but I hope it's worth waiting a few more weeks to meet this dude! Maybe it's better this way, who knows.

See, I believe that "stable" is subjective, and not all people are cut out for relationships. That's why I'm all about honesty; if you're honest, you can find someone who likes "unstable" relationships or are just trying to shoot the breeze and not define things. Somebody for everybody, right?

Even if the dating pool were improved, I'd still choose to remain single right now because I'm trying to start my life and career and I don't need any distractions.

If you really want to pursue something with this guy, get a thorough background check (SCNDLS can help you out with that ), meet somewhere public, see if you like him. If you do, repeat process minus the background check. Don't get yourself involved with a creeper/stalker/sex maniac (unless you're into that).

I'm sorry, but online dating just gives me the willies. LOL, that's just me!

There are tens of millions of teenagers who would wait to have sex with you. There are probably just as many 60 year olds who would do the same. Pretty sure there's a LARGE number of creeper/stalker/sex machines who would also wait as long as you wanted. None of that has anything to do with being a man.

A man pays his bills on time, takes good care of his kids if he has any, treats his mother with respect and is otherwise mannerly, keeps himself and his home clean, is responsible for his actions and on time for appointments, generally - a man is just TCB.

If a guy isn't willing to wait to have sex with you its not because he's not "a man", its because he doesn't really like you.

Cerebus said:

There are tens of millions of teenagers who would wait to have sex with you. There are probably just as many 60 year olds who would do the same. Pretty sure there's a LARGE number of creeper/stalker/sex machines who would also wait as long as you wanted. None of that has anything to do with being a man.

A man pays his bills on time, takes good care of his kids if he has any, treats his mother with respect and is otherwise mannerly, keeps himself and his home clean, is responsible for his actions and on time for appointments, generally - a man is just TCB.

If a guy isn't willing to wait to have sex with you its not because he's not "a man", its because he doesn't really like you.

THIS.

Cerebus said:

There are tens of millions of teenagers who would wait to have sex with you. There are probably just as many 60 year olds who would do the same. Pretty sure there's a LARGE number of creeper/stalker/sex machines who would also wait as long as you wanted. None of that has anything to do with being a man.

A man pays his bills on time, takes good care of his kids if he has any, treats his mother with respect and is otherwise mannerly, keeps himself and his home clean, is responsible for his actions and on time for appointments, generally - a man is just TCB.

If a guy isn't willing to wait to have sex with you its not because he's not "a man", its because he doesn't really like you.

Can't argue with most of that; those are the several other qualities that I was talking about.

Does this answer Seventeen's question? Does he like you more if you don't put out right away? Or did he like you so much in the first place that the sex thing is small potatoes?

AND, if he doesn't actually like you, why pretend for weeks, months, even years? A simple "I'm only interested in sex" at the beginning would make things a lot less difficult. Like I said before, some woman out there is feeling the exact same way he is.

[Edited 8/21/11 22:47pm]

[Edited 8/21/11 22:55pm]

Cerebus said:

There are tens of millions of teenagers who would wait to have sex with you. There are probably just as many 60 year olds who would do the same. Pretty sure there's a LARGE number of creeper/stalker/sex machines who would also wait as long as you wanted. None of that has anything to do with being a man.

A man pays his bills on time, takes good care of his kids if he has any, treats his mother with respect and is otherwise mannerly, keeps himself and his home clean, is responsible for his actions and on time for appointments, generally - a man is just TCB.

If a guy isn't willing to wait to have sex with you its not because he's not "a man", its because he doesn't really like you.

Totally.

ZombieKitten said:

The master wanted to wait. He told his friend I was the one and thought our first time should be special. When he told me that I started a drunken sulk it's a wonder he even asked out a second time

Sorry for being dumb but what does this quote mean? LOL!

WE decided together and chose to "wait" ... close to 3 months into our dating life

Spinlight said:

Dave1992 said:

I love hesitating and waiting for the moment. I keep the relationship cute and honest with a little bit of natural distance, so that there´s always some raw eroticism in the air, but that it isn´t talked about at all. You think you know what´s on the other person´s mind, but you can´t be sure. Until, one afternoon, night or morning all this lust that built up will make someone explode, no matter how ready the other one is. The longer this erotic and emotional distance between two people lasts, the better the sex is after that.

That's BS.

If I wait 2 weeks to fuck you, saving up my jizz, and refraining from touching my overreactive crotch, and you turn out to be the most boring fucking lay beyond the fact you got me off, then I am going to be really pissed.

Of course one can't generalise, but most of the time you can sense whether the other person fucks well or not. At least I can. If they don't, there usually isn't any eroticism in the air at all and I lose interest way before I have sex with that person. Then again, it's because if the person is uninteresting, a good fuck won't make up for that, because it's usually the person that gets me off, not just the crotch, ass or throat.

Dave1992 said:

Spinlight said:

That's BS.

If I wait 2 weeks to fuck you, saving up my jizz, and refraining from touching my overreactive crotch, and you turn out to be the most boring fucking lay beyond the fact you got me off, then I am going to be really pissed.

Of course one can't generalise, but most of the time you can sense whether the other person fucks well or not. At least I can. If they don't, there usually isn't any eroticism in the air at all and I lose interest way before I have sex with that person. Then again, it's because if the person is uninteresting, a good fuck won't make up for that, because it's usually the person that gets me off, not just the crotch, ass or throat.

Does that only work if you are attracted sexually to that person or can you also tell that about somebody you are not interested in? Because I'd like to know what your guess is about me ?

Serious said:

Dave1992 said:

Of course one can't generalise, but most of the time you can sense whether the other person fucks well or not. At least I can. If they don't, there usually isn't any eroticism in the air at all and I lose interest way before I have sex with that person. Then again, it's because if the person is uninteresting, a good fuck won't make up for that, because it's usually the person that gets me off, not just the crotch, ass or throat.

Does that only work if you are attracted sexually to that person or can you also tell that about somebody you are not interested in? Because I'd like to know what your guess is about me ?

Well, I would have to have had sex with everybody I took a guess on, but I usually sleep with people who I feel sexually attracted to only, so I wouldn't know for sure whether my guess is correct or not.

Still, I think, due to my fairly good knowledge of human nature and eye for detail (the way people walk, the way people move, their smell/perfume, the way people dress, the words they use to express themselves, how and how often they look into your face/eyes etc.) I think that I can at least picture how they behave in bed. Whether they're good or bad is relative, because of the different strokes for different folks thing, but I'm quite sure I can at least tell whether a person is "free" or not.

You definitely are.

SeventeenDayze said:

ZombieKitten said:

The master wanted to wait. He told his friend I was the one and thought our first time should be special. When he told me that I started a drunken sulk it's a wonder he even asked out a second time

Sorry for being dumb but what does this quote mean? LOL!

it's not a quote! it's my LIFE! (the master is my husband)

Needed a smilie

[Edited 8/23/11 3:46am]

SeventeenDayze said:

How long should a girl make a guy wait before having sex with him? Will he "like her more" the longer she makes him wait?

I didn't know there were any rules on "making a guy wait"

Are you still single?

Dave1992 said:

Serious said:

Does that only work if you are attracted sexually to that person or can you also tell that about somebody you are not interested in? Because I'd like to know what your guess is about me ?

Well, I would have to have had sex with everybody I took a guess on, but I usually sleep with people who I feel sexually attracted to only, so I wouldn't know for sure whether my guess is correct or not.

Still, I think, due to my fairly good knowledge of human nature and eye for detail (the way people walk, the way people move, their smell/perfume, the way people dress, the words they use to express themselves, how and how often they look into your face/eyes etc.) I think that I can at least picture how they behave in bed. Whether they're good or bad is relative, because of the different strokes for different folks thing, but I'm quite sure I can at least tell whether a person is "free" or not.

You definitely are.

Tremolina said:

SeventeenDayze said:

How long should a girl make a guy wait before having sex with him? Will he "like her more" the longer she makes him wait?

I didn't know there were any rules on "making a guy wait"

Are you still single?

Yeah I don't have any STD's Thanks for asking

SeventeenDayze said:

Tremolina said:

I didn't know there were any rules on "making a guy wait"

Are you still single?

Yeah I don't have any STD's Thanks for asking

It only takes one time to get an STD and even condoms don't save you then.

Spinlight said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Yeah I don't have any STD's Thanks for asking

It only takes one time to get an STD and even condoms don't save you then.

Spin, do you wake up in a horrible mood everyday? geez....nevermind lol

SeventeenDayze said:

Tremolina said:

I didn't know there were any rules on "making a guy wait"

Are you still single?

Yeah I don't have any STD's Thanks for asking

Uh okay, thanks for the info, I guess.

So that means that you think you won't get any std's when you make a guy wait?

Ladies....doesn't it depend on the guy?

Graycap23 said:

Ladies....doesn't it depend on the guy?

No, it depends on the ladies comfort level with the guy.

Some guys think they have it like that though.... but they tend to go for women who are "at the club and looking".

paintedlady said:

Graycap23 said:

Ladies....doesn't it depend on the guy?

No, it depends on the ladies comfort level with the guy.

That is what I meant.......

Graycap23 said:

paintedlady said:

No, it depends on the ladies comfort level with the guy.

That is what I meant.......

Then yes. If a women really likes a guy panties are flung off... in most cases. I think its harder for a woman to deny herself than it is for a man.

paintedlady said:

Graycap23 said:

That is what I meant.......

Then yes. If a women really likes a guy panties are flung off... in most cases. I think its harder for a woman to deny herself than it is for a man.

That reminds of this woamn I met some years ago.

She was going on and on about being a woman of God, and there will be no sex....etc.

The woman damn near raped me 5 minutes after the 1st time I ever stepped inside her house.