Spinlight said:

johnart said:

OOH I Know one to avoid!!!

"You remind me of Carol Channing."

I nearly choked on my Evian.

MyJobIz2beCute said:

armpit said:

I think my execution falls apart when it comes to my facial expressions and tone of voice and stuff. I'm pretty innately dramatic in a way and that probably comes across when I compliment people and they read that as over-the-top and thus, insincere.

I don't think omitting the critique is a bad thing to do either or even dishonest, because obviously, I like the color they used or like something about the makeup, so I don't see saying "I like your makeup" as being a lie when I do like it, even if I'm not crazy about how they applied it. I see leaving out the critique as actually being the more polite and humane thing to do because they didn't ask for it in the first place and, all it will do is just offend them anyway.

^-

-If someone asks you, "Do you like my hair style?," then you can critique but if not, then one should comment on something they do like instead or not say anything at all.

-If you want to learn the art of social graces, it is just like anything else in life, we have to learn the correct way.

If I am asked a question like that, I always answer with something like, "Well, it's not my style."

This way I'm still being honest.

JustErin said:

MyJobIz2beCute said:

^-

-If someone asks you, "Do you like my hair style?," then you can critique but if not, then one should comment on something they do like instead or not say anything at all.

-If you want to learn the art of social graces, it is just like anything else in life, we have to learn the correct way.

If I am asked a question like that, I always answer with something like, "Well, it's not my style."

This way I'm still being honest.

"What matters is that you like it!"

johnart said:

kewlschool said:

Well done Johnart. <---------compliment

I enjoy how you did the same thing I did. I mean, it's exactly the same, yet feels so fresh.

...compliment.

JustErin said:

MyJobIz2beCute said:

^-

-If someone asks you, "Do you like my hair style?," then you can critique but if not, then one should comment on something they do like instead or not say anything at all.

-If you want to learn the art of social graces, it is just like anything else in life, we have to learn the correct way.

If I am asked a question like that, I always answer with something like, "Well, it's not my style."

This way I'm still being honest.

My mum is always asking me what I think of the new pants she buys, and they all look the same to me!!!

armpit said:

MyJobIz2beCute said:

^-

-If someone asks you, "Do you like my hair style?," then you can critique but if not, then one should comment on something they do like instead or not say anything at all.

-If you want to learn the art of social graces, it is just like anything else in life, we have to learn the correct way.

I didn't say lie and say you like something if you don't.

What I'm saying is, if someone gets their hair cut and dyed, and you like the color but you don't like the cut, if you say "Your hair looks nice", to me that's not a lie because you do actually like some aspect of how their hair looks. I'd rather just be general and mention what I do like rather than start giving them advice about what I don't like, unless they specifically ask me. What I'm saying is focus on what's positive and build them up rather than tear them down.

^-

-A compliment should be free and sincere.

-I don't waste my time on things that tear down.

Spinlight said:

JustErin said:

If I am asked a question like that, I always answer with something like, "Well, it's not my style."

This way I'm still being honest.

"What matters is that you like it!"

ZombieKitten said:

JustErin said:

If I am asked a question like that, I always answer with something like, "Well, it's not my style."

This way I'm still being honest.

My mum is always asking me what I think of the new pants she buys, and they all look the same to me!!!

I am pretty bad at giving compliments and pretty bad at taking them.

I need to remember to tell my parents how badly they fucked me up.

MyJobIz2beCute said:

armpit said:

I didn't say lie and say you like something if you don't.

What I'm saying is, if someone gets their hair cut and dyed, and you like the color but you don't like the cut, if you say "Your hair looks nice", to me that's not a lie because you do actually like some aspect of how their hair looks. I'd rather just be general and mention what I do like rather than start giving them advice about what I don't like, unless they specifically ask me. What I'm saying is focus on what's positive and build them up rather than tear them down.

^-

-A compliment should be free and sincere.

-I don't waste my time on things that tear down.

What's not sincere about saying you like it if there is a part of it that you genuinely do like? And trust me, when I give compliments I expect nothing in return for them.

And honestly - unsolicited advice on the end of a compliment, usually does offend people and in a small way, does tear them down. If they come right up to you and ask you like, tell me exactly what you think of my hair, then that's different, but if you're going up to someone unasked, with the intent to compliment them it is a bit of a slap in the face to go, I like your haircolor but the cut is all wrong for you.

I don't believe in telling people every last thing that's on your mind in the spirit of honesty unless they ask for your opinion and I believe it's actually the selfish thing to do - saying the totality of what you think to people just so you can feel good and tell yourself you're honest, even if it hurts them. If we were talking about something vitally important that's different, then people need honesty and for people to tell them when they're wrong, but when it's something that's subjective and essentially meaningless like hairstyles makeup clothes or something, I'm a big believer in just keeping whatever negativity I have to myself unless I'm asked for brutal honesty.

[Edited 8/12/11 23:56pm]

kewlschool said:

ZombieKitten said:

My mum is always asking me what I think of the new pants she buys, and they all look the same to me!!!

Like, what's the belt for?

armpit said:

MyJobIz2beCute said:

^-

-A compliment should be free and sincere.

-I don't waste my time on things that tear down.

What's not sincere about saying you like it if there is a part of it that you genuinely do like? And trust me, when I give compliments I expect nothing in return for them.

And honestly - unsolicited advice on the end of a compliment, usually does offend people and in a small way, does tear them down. If they come right up to you and ask you like, tell me exactly what you think of my hair, then that's different, but if you're going up to someone unasked, with the intent to compliment them it is a bit of a slap in the face to go, I like your haircolor but the cut is all wrong for you.

I don't believe in telling people every last thing that's on your mind in the spirit of honesty unless they ask for your opinion and I believe it's actually the selfish thing to do - saying the totality of what you think to people just so you can feel good and tell yourself you're honest, even if it hurts them. If we were talking about something vitally important that's different, then people need honesty and for people to tell them when they're wrong, but when it's something that's subjective and essentially meaningless like hairstyles makeup clothes or something, I'm a big believer in just keeping whatever negativity I have to myself unless I'm asked for brutal honesty.

[Edited 8/12/11 23:56pm]

^-

-Your life experience is different than mine.

-I enjoy giivng compliments. When the words come out of my mouth, people, especially women appreciate my sincerity.

JustErin said:

kewlschool said:

Like, what's the belt for?

To create an even bigger muffin top.

JustErin said:

kewlschool said:

Like, what's the belt for?

style, baby. style

Fauxie said:

What if someone has a generally, all-round pleasing face? Can't I just say they have a nice face?

you should definitely qualify it with a comparison to someone--but when they were chubbier

Fauxie said:

What if someone has a generally, all-round pleasing face? Can't I just say they have a nice face?

That just means: I sincerely want to fu*k the taste out of your mouth.

If you say nice top to a lady. That just means nice tits.

NDRU said:

Fauxie said:

What if someone has a generally, all-round pleasing face? Can't I just say they have a nice face?

you should definitely qualify it with a comparison to someone--but when they were chubbier

But only if you've established already that you like the person you're comparing them with, right? Otherwise it could seem rude, I'm thinking.

That hairstyle really accentuates your chins.

I wish I had breasts that hid my waist the way yours do.

MyJobIz2beCute said:

armpit said:

What's not sincere about saying you like it if there is a part of it that you genuinely do like? And trust me, when I give compliments I expect nothing in return for them.

And honestly - unsolicited advice on the end of a compliment, usually does offend people and in a small way, does tear them down. If they come right up to you and ask you like, tell me exactly what you think of my hair, then that's different, but if you're going up to someone unasked, with the intent to compliment them it is a bit of a slap in the face to go, I like your haircolor but the cut is all wrong for you.

I don't believe in telling people every last thing that's on your mind in the spirit of honesty unless they ask for your opinion and I believe it's actually the selfish thing to do - saying the totality of what you think to people just so you can feel good and tell yourself you're honest, even if it hurts them. If we were talking about something vitally important that's different, then people need honesty and for people to tell them when they're wrong, but when it's something that's subjective and essentially meaningless like hairstyles makeup clothes or something, I'm a big believer in just keeping whatever negativity I have to myself unless I'm asked for brutal honesty.

[Edited 8/12/11 23:56pm]

^-

-Your life experience is different than mine.

-I enjoy giivng compliments. When the words come out of my mouth, people, especially women appreciate my sincerity.

Of course, everybody's life experiences are different.

As I said before when I give compliments I truly do mean them. Just because I don't mention the parts I don't find flattering doesn't mean I'm lying to them so much as trying to take the other person's feelings into account.

Maybe the women you know have no problem with it, but in my life whenever I've witnessed anyone give that particular style of compliment, all I've ever seen come out of it is anger and/or hurt feelings, which is pretty much exactly the opposite of what complimenting someone is supposed to do. No one I've ever encountered in the course of my life, is particularly appreciative of unsolicited critiques and advice, especially on the back end of what is supposed to be a compliment.

Fauxie said:

NDRU said:

you should definitely qualify it with a comparison to someone--but when they were chubbier

But only if you've established already that you like the person you're comparing them with, right? Otherwise it could seem rude, I'm thinking.

yes I think so "like a young chubby Carol Channing"

fuck, I never thought Carol Channing was funny in the slightest and now she is the funniest thing I can imagine

NDRU said:

Fauxie said:

But only if you've established already that you like the person you're comparing them with, right? Otherwise it could seem rude, I'm thinking.

yes I think so "like a young chubby Carol Channing"

...a not so near death Carol Channing.

kewlschool said:

Fauxie said:

What if someone has a generally, all-round pleasing face? Can't I just say they have a nice face?

That just means: I sincerely want to fu*k the taste out of your mouth.

If you say nice top to a lady. That just means nice tits.

Not when I say it. It means nice face or nice top. Breasts can be complimented specifically, I think. I used to compliment a female friend of mine on her breasts all the time. She used to wear a banana coloured top that pushed them up. She just recently got in touch with us again after 2 years of no contact.

NDRU said:

Fauxie said:

But only if you've established already that you like the person you're comparing them with, right? Otherwise it could seem rude, I'm thinking.

yes I think so "like a young chubby Carol Channing"

I think it depends more on the person you're giving that compliment to - like, if they aren't into Carol Channing, you might not want to compare them to her but instead think of someone similar that you know they don't mind and then compare them to that person. At least that's what I'd do.

armpit said:

NDRU said:

yes I think so "like a young chubby Carol Channing"

I think it depends more on the person you're giving that compliment to - like, if they aren't into Carol Channing, you might not want to compare them to her but instead think of someone similar that you know they don't mind and then compare them to that person. At least that's what I'd do.

Yes, if you can confirm they are doing something that they are trying to do, or compare to something that they value highly, it probably means more to them than if you compare it to something you value

armpit said:

NDRU said:

yes I think so "like a young chubby Carol Channing"

I think it depends more on the person you're giving that compliment to - like, if they aren't into Carol Channing, you might not want to compare them to her but instead think of someone similar that you know they don't mind and then compare them to that person. At least that's what I'd do.

Yeah, that's just simply too much work for me.

johnart said:

That hairstyle really accentuates your chins.

I wish I had breasts that hid my waist the way yours do.

"You're homely enough that I'm fairly confident I can get you to sleep with me tonight, if needs must, but probably attractive enough if not that I wouldn't off the bat rule out raping you over going home alone"

NDRU said:

armpit said:

I think it depends more on the person you're giving that compliment to - like, if they aren't into Carol Channing, you might not want to compare them to her but instead think of someone similar that you know they don't mind and then compare them to that person. At least that's what I'd do.

Yes, if you can confirm they are doing something that they are trying to do, or compare to something that they value highly, it probably means more to them than if you compare it to something you value

It's a fucking compliment. Overanalyzing it sucks allllll the meaningjuice out of it. Social graces are for the birds. If you like something on/in/around/about/regarding someone/something/somewhere/somewho then just say it.

And if the bitch sounds like fucking Carol Channing, then she deserves to know that rather than someone say "YA SOUND LIKE RATHBERRIETH. ISN'T THAT CUTE!!! THAT'S SO CUTE."

Fauxie said:

kewlschool said:

That just means: I sincerely want to fu*k the taste out of your mouth.

If you say nice top to a lady. That just means nice tits.

Not when I say it. It means nice face or nice top. Breasts can be complimented specifically, I think. I used to compliment a female friend of mine on her breasts all the time.

Nice top Fauxie.