JustErin said:

Fauxie said:

You inspired it.

I'm glad you have great hair.

Really.

I hate you.

Really? I think you like me but struggle to find the right compliments.

Fauxie said:

armpit said:

Or just say "Nice makeup".

I usually end up going into this long debate with myself in my head over whether or not I should even give a compliment to people before I do it because I know that my delivery is apparently fucked up and that people immediately assume I'm going to ask them for something after I say it .

I don't do that, but was wondering if maybe I should, but JohnArt's saying just do it!

Yeah, don't do what I do I'm socially awkward as fuck lol. Now that I think about it, that's probably why my compliment-execution is so shitty in the first place.

JustErin said:

MyJobIz2beCute said:

^-

Good example. So you compliment the form, the technique and the utensil used to draw the eyeshadow. Then you can add the better color by saying, "Blue would make your eyes pop out more and you can have those Bette Davis eyes."

[Edited 8/12/11 23:13pm]

Let's be honest here. Saying that would piss the person off. They know exactly what you're saying...that what they have done looks like shit.

^-

-Some people don't look good with a smokey eye look, they look better with a fresher look.

-Some know how to apply makeup, some don't.

-Some know what they are doing, some don't.

FauxReal said:

Fauxie said:

So sometimes I notice other people do cool things or are dressed up nicely, or kind, friendly or whatever, and I want to tell them something nice to make them feel good and let them know they're appreciated.

Have you got any tips?

Heard any particularly nice compliments lately?

Are there any words you shouldn't use when giving a compliment?

Are there certain people you shouldn't compliment about certain things?

What's the nicest compliment you've ever received?

I want to brush up on my skills because I do like saying nice things to ppl but I think sometimes what comes out can be a bit clunky or even possibly inappropriate.

I suck at compliments. For me it's because I am so boring and safe with the compliments. For instance, I generally don't use the words: hot, fine, beautiful, awesome...extremes like that. People look nice. Or they look good. Or they're pretty. Or they're cool. So there's not much to differentiate someone who is pretty, for instance, from someone who is absolutely, ridicuously attractive.

I sometimes get complimented on the shirts I wear to work. Nothing special, it's really a more relative thing than anything. The co-workers often make it easy.

I don't compliment people on sh*t they already have a big head about. If they're already complimenting themselves or if I feel they are fishing for a compliment...I don't cater to that sh*t. Even if they go the self-pity route. "Oh...I feel so ugly. Oh my hair is so ____." and so on. I just kind of stay quiet and let them pretend to hate themselves.

One of the nicest compliments I ever got was from a gay man, about 3 years ago, at a birthday party for a friend. A bunch of folks were dancing and stuff, and he had started speaking to me, and was offering general compliments, which initially I appreciated (it later got to be a bit much, like too persistent I guess). He asked me if I was seeing anyone all that, and I explained the situation with my ex-wife letting it be known I was straight. (His partner of 17 years was there, upstairs, so that made me uncomfortable, honestly). Anyhow, a bunch of us got to talking about dancing. I don't dance, though I was asked by some of the women there to do so. He asked me why not. I jokingly said "I'm too tall and uncoordinated for all that. One wrong move, I'd knock out half the damn room." Without missing a beat, he replied "Well it'd be a beautiful accident."

Have to give him credit, that was probably smoother and more flattering than any sh*t a woman has ever said to me.

That's cool. I think that's a great compliment!

I have dropped a spontaneous compliment here and there and really meant it and nothing bad happened!

MyJobIz2beCute said:

Fauxie said:

The problem with that as I see it though is that it sounds terrible.

^-

Then you did not like how the person put on their makeup, so just don't say anything.

-Compliments are given if it is 'born' in you to say you like something.

-If someone puts effort in their appreance and you dig it, then put effort in telling them so.

-Half the truth is a lie.

That's deep. By that I mean I don't really understand it.

MyJobIz2beCute said:

JustErin said:

Let's be honest here. Saying that would piss the person off. They know exactly what you're saying...that what they have done looks like shit.

^-

-Some people don't look good with a smokey eye look, they look better with a fresher look.

-Some know how to apply makeup, some don't.

-Some know what they are doing, some don't.

That's why you just make the comment general and just say 'your makeup looks good'. It isn't technically inaccurate because there is something that you like about it. Taking the critique aspect out of it makes it less of a backhanded compliment.

MyJobIz2beCute said:

JustErin said:

Let's be honest here. Saying that would piss the person off. They know exactly what you're saying...that what they have done looks like shit.

^-

-Some people don't look good with a smokey eye look, they look better with a fresher look.

-Some know how to apply makeup, some don't.

-Some know what they are doing, some don't.

Right, but I don't know if it's a good idea to be that presumptuous. Unless you really know a person very well (and I am getting the gist of this thread is that you don't know the person v well initially, hence the awkwardness), it's safe to say that you should likely stick far away from anything that could be seen as you telling them what to do because in most cases it immediately means you feel superior. If I saw someone and thought, "Man, she looks good with the purple but I bet blue would be better." then I would wait for the day she wore blue to say, "I wanna get up inside of that."

armpit said:

MyJobIz2beCute said:

^-

-Some people don't look good with a smokey eye look, they look better with a fresher look.

-Some know how to apply makeup, some don't.

-Some know what they are doing, some don't.

That's why you just make the comment general and just say 'your makeup looks good'. It isn't technically inaccurate because there is something that you like about it. Taking the critique aspect out of it makes it less of a backhanded compliment.

^-

That is why you are failing in the execution.

-I rather pin point in details. Details will always be everything that is essential in giving compliments.

Spinlight said:

MyJobIz2beCute said:

^-

-Some people don't look good with a smokey eye look, they look better with a fresher look.

-Some know how to apply makeup, some don't.

-Some know what they are doing, some don't.

Right, but I don't know if it's a good idea to be that presumptuous. Unless you really know a person very well (and I am getting the gist of this thread is that you don't know the person v well initially, hence the awkwardness), it's safe to say that you should likely stick far away from anything that could be seen as you telling them what to do because in most cases it immediately means you feel superior. If I saw someone and thought, "Man, she looks good with the purple but I bet blue would be better." then I would wait for the day she wore blue to say, "I wanna get up inside of that."

^-

-It is about what you like on that person and telling them so if you know them or not.

-I have seen people who I don't even know compliment me random like, "I like your car" or "that lipstick shade is so 60's."

MyJobIz2beCute said:

Spinlight said:

Right, but I don't know if it's a good idea to be that presumptuous. Unless you really know a person very well (and I am getting the gist of this thread is that you don't know the person v well initially, hence the awkwardness), it's safe to say that you should likely stick far away from anything that could be seen as you telling them what to do because in most cases it immediately means you feel superior. If I saw someone and thought, "Man, she looks good with the purple but I bet blue would be better." then I would wait for the day she wore blue to say, "I wanna get up inside of that."

^-

-It is about what you like on that person and telling them so if you know them or not.

-I have seen people who I don't even know compliment me random like, "I like your car" or "that lipstick shade is so 60's."

But would they say, "I like your car. You should really get a corvette though." or "That lipstick shade is so 60's! Shouldn't you stick with a more 90's look?"

I told a girl she looked like Utada Hikaru around the period she was making the 'Heart Station' album when her face was a bit chubbier.

Wait a minute. Is this about giving compliments or advice on room for improvement?

Spinlight said:

MyJobIz2beCute said:

^-

-It is about what you like on that person and telling them so if you know them or not.

-I have seen people who I don't even know compliment me random like, "I like your car" or "that lipstick shade is so 60's."

But would they say, "I like your car. You should really get a corvette though." or "That lipstick shade is so 60's! Shouldn't you stick with a more 90's look?"

^-

-No one can go wrong with a corvette, even I know that, I even took one for my hs prom:lol:

-60's look or 90's look can both look good, if you know which shade works best.

MyJobIz2beCute said:

armpit said:

That's why you just make the comment general and just say 'your makeup looks good'. It isn't technically inaccurate because there is something that you like about it. Taking the critique aspect out of it makes it less of a backhanded compliment.

^-

That is why you are failing in the execution.

-I rather pin point in details. Details will always be everything that is essential in giving compliments.

I think my execution falls apart when it comes to my facial expressions and tone of voice and stuff. I'm pretty innately dramatic in a way and that probably comes across when I compliment people and they read that as over-the-top and thus, insincere.

I don't think omitting the critique is a bad thing to do either or even dishonest, because obviously, I like the color they used or like something about the makeup, so I don't see saying "I like your makeup" as being a lie when I do like it, even if I'm not crazy about how they applied it. I see leaving out the critique as actually being the more polite and humane thing to do because they didn't ask for it in the first place and, all it will do is just offend them anyway.

MyJobIz2beCute said:

JustErin said:

Let's be honest here. Saying that would piss the person off. They know exactly what you're saying...that what they have done looks like shit.

^-

-Some people don't look good with a smokey eye look, they look better with a fresher look.

-Some know how to apply makeup, some don't.

-Some know what they are doing, some don't.

Oh yeah, totally.

However, my point is that no matter how you word it. They are going to take it badly.

To offer improvement tips with a compliment to someone you don't know is better known as a "backhanded" compliment.

There always the classic compliment:

I sincerely want to fu*k the taste out of your mouth.

Cuz, that's always a compliment.

Fauxie said:

I told a girl she looked like Utada Hikaru around the period she was making the 'Heart Station' album when her face was a bit chubbier.

You're hopeless.

JustErin said:

MyJobIz2beCute said:

^-

-Some people don't look good with a smokey eye look, they look better with a fresher look.

-Some know how to apply makeup, some don't.

-Some know what they are doing, some don't.

Oh yeah, totally.

However, my point is that no matter how you word it. They are going to take it badly.

because you're not meant to NOTICE make-up, it's supposed to make you look naturally beautiful!

johnart said:

Wait a minute. Is this about giving compliments or advice on room for improvement?

ZombieKitten said:

JustErin said:

Oh yeah, totally.

However, my point is that no matter how you word it. They are going to take it badly.

because you're not meant to NOTICE make-up, it's supposed to make you look naturally beautiful!

Yeah.

But let's also be honest. It also totally depends on who is giving this "compliment".

armpit said:

MyJobIz2beCute said:

^-

That is why you are failing in the execution.

-I rather pin point in details. Details will always be everything that is essential in giving compliments.

I think my execution falls apart when it comes to my facial expressions and tone of voice and stuff. I'm pretty innately dramatic in a way and that probably comes across when I compliment people and they read that as over-the-top and thus, insincere.

I don't think omitting the critique is a bad thing to do either or even dishonest, because obviously, I like the color they used or like something about the makeup, so I don't see saying "I like your makeup" as being a lie when I do like it, even if I'm not crazy about how they applied it. I see leaving out the critique as actually being the more polite and humane thing to do because they didn't ask for it in the first place and, all it will do is just offend them anyway.

^-

-If someone asks you, "Do you like my hair style?," then you can critique but if not, then one should comment on something they do like instead or not say anything at all.

-If you want to learn the art of social graces, it is just like anything else in life, we have to learn the correct way.

Fauxie said:

johnart said:

Wait a minute. Is this about giving compliments or advice on room for improvement?

It's taken a bit of a turn. It was supposed to be about giving compliments. I think I may have derailed it myself though.

OH OK.

You did that splendidly. <---compliment

OOH I Know one to avoid!!!

"You remind me of Carol Channing."

johnart said:

Fauxie said:

It's taken a bit of a turn. It was supposed to be about giving compliments. I think I may have derailed it myself though.

OH OK.

You did that splendidly. <---compliment

Well done Johnart. <---------compliment

kewlschool said:

johnart said:

OH OK.

You did that splendidly. <---compliment

Well done Johnart. <---------compliment

I enjoy how you did the same thing I did. I mean, it's exactly the same, yet feels so fresh.

...compliment.

MyJobIz2beCute said:

armpit said:

I think my execution falls apart when it comes to my facial expressions and tone of voice and stuff. I'm pretty innately dramatic in a way and that probably comes across when I compliment people and they read that as over-the-top and thus, insincere.

I don't think omitting the critique is a bad thing to do either or even dishonest, because obviously, I like the color they used or like something about the makeup, so I don't see saying "I like your makeup" as being a lie when I do like it, even if I'm not crazy about how they applied it. I see leaving out the critique as actually being the more polite and humane thing to do because they didn't ask for it in the first place and, all it will do is just offend them anyway.

^-

-If someone asks you, "Do you like my hair style?," then you can critique but if not, then one should comment on something they do like instead or not say anything at all.

-If you want to learn the art of social graces, it is just like anything else in life, we have to learn the correct way.

I didn't say lie and say you like something if you don't.

What I'm saying is, if someone gets their hair cut and dyed, and you like the color but you don't like the cut, if you say "Your hair looks nice", to me that's not a lie because you do actually like some aspect of how their hair looks. I'd rather just be general and mention what I do like rather than start giving them advice about what I don't like, unless they specifically ask me. What I'm saying is focus on what's positive and build them up rather than tear them down.

johnart said:

OOH I Know one to avoid!!!

"You remind me of Carol Channing."

I nearly choked on my Evian.

JustErin said:

Fauxie said:

I told a girl she looked like Utada Hikaru around the period she was making the 'Heart Station' album when her face was a bit chubbier.

You're hopeless.

I think that's harsh. I'd already established that I really like Utada Hikaru. I think she took it ok because she didn't leave immediately.