FuzzyWitch said:

u r prob sick of hearing it

and rather hear works like

u rock

u r awesome

u r great

u r 2 good

hot stuff

etc etc etc

cause that's what it means

Oh yeah lol

I figured that out a while ago. People tend to place the insecurity and anger they have on with themselves on others. It sucks. I just realized how much I could have accomplished by now, if there wasn't that little voice in the back of my head saying "Hold it back now....you don't want to do TOO good"

kewlschool said:

ScarletScandal said:

You're right about that. But I just hate how that negative aspect is placed on achieving.

The negative aspect-could be a projection of their own lack of achievement. I have found that teachers can teach you how to be better-but that can't teach you as an artist to find your "voice" with in your work. The teachers attempt to, but cannot achieve this goal, you and you alone can only do that. As for the tone it down to make others look better-I'd call that bulls**t and asked them in what way is that helping me become a better artist?

I've never had a problem knowing who I was/am artistically, it's been the people in the position to help me focus my talent who have been the ones saying I need to "hold back" and what not. I've only had 2 teachers that allowed me to go fucking nuts with my creativity, and not care what anybody else thought. I just think a lot that I could be so much farther along in things if I didn't have that ingrained thought that I was going to be "too good". It all started with that art contest in first grade. I never got an apology or anything, but I've let it go. That teacher passed away

TheFreakerFantastic said:

^ God the lack of modesty among you yanks is bloody sickening...pass me the bucket...

Had the original OP talked about being a natural at plumbing or brick laying would it have made you sick? Why is it that Dr's, Lawyers, bankers, bricklayers, truckdrivers and farmers can talk confidently about their skill and we expect them to, but people in the "arts" are always suppose to downplay their abilities? Would you put your child in a school where the teachers say " We are O.K. teachers... I guess" ? No! You want your mechanic, Doctor, Dentist and more to speak with confidence and conviction about their abilities. Do you want a lawyer who claims "Well I am average, I guess, nothing special. I don't want to get your hopes up high"?

We have a tendency to either over praise or over critisize artists of any kind and the only ones who can actually make a go of it financially are the ones who don't care if people take their confidence as cockyness.

Deadflow3r said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

^ God the lack of modesty among you yanks is bloody sickening...pass me the bucket...

Had the original OP talked about being a natural at plumbing or brick laying would it have made you sick? Why is it that Dr's, Lawyers, bankers, bricklayers, truckdrivers and farmers can talk confidently about their skill and we expect them to, but people in the "arts" are always suppose to downplay their abilities? Would you put your child in a school where the teachers say " We are O.K. teachers... I guess" ? No! You want your mechanic, Doctor, Dentist and more to speak with confidence and conviction about their abilities. Do you want a lawyer who claims "Well I am average, I guess, nothing special. I don't want to get your hopes up high"?

We have a tendency to either over praise or over critisize artists of any kind and the only ones who can actually make a go of it financially are the ones who don't care if people take their confidence as cockyness.

It was more triggered by the way Genesia was saying "I'm a high achiever", it just seemed rather immodest to me and amusing.

Modesty is overrated. People are always going to try to belittle what you have so they can feel better about themselves. If you don't think you're the bomb dot com, all that chatter from others will get to you.

just1lousydime said:

Modesty is overrated. People are always going to try to belittle what you have so they can feel better about themselves. If you don't think you're the bomb dot com, all that chatter from others will get to you.

^ Disagree. In my experience the people with the most talent and ability tend to be the most modest as they feel secure enough in themselves and therefore the talent shines through, they don't NEED to boast.

[Edited 8/12/11 13:13pm]

Being an Over-Achiever is only an issue if you are torturing everyone in your known universe with your obsession to over-achieve or if you actually aren't achieving anything because you are trying to achieve everything

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Being an Over-Achiever is only an issue if you are torturing everyone in your known universe with your obsession to over-achieve or if you actually aren't achieving anything because you are trying to achieve everything

What if you are achieving but not trying to?

TheFreakerFantastic said:

just1lousydime said:

Modesty is overrated. People are always going to try to belittle what you have so they can feel better about themselves. If you don't think you're the bomb dot com, all that chatter from others will get to you.

^ Disagree. In my experience the people with the most talent and ability tend to be the most modest as they feel secure enough in themselves and therefore the talent shines through, they don't NEED to boast.

[Edited 8/12/11 13:13pm]

I'm not talking about bragging, I'm talking about confidence. You don't need to brag about your abilities if you're confident, but if you aren't confident, then the things people say about you will make you feel bad.

I'll use Prince as an example. When he receives awards, he thanks God, but doesn't go on and on about how great he is. But in his music, his lyrics express his confidence and security in his own abilities.

just1lousydime said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

^ Disagree. In my experience the people with the most talent and ability tend to be the most modest as they feel secure enough in themselves and therefore the talent shines through, they don't NEED to boast.

[Edited 8/12/11 13:13pm]

I'm not talking about bragging, I'm talking about confidence. You don't need to brag about your abilities if you're confident, but if you aren't confident, then the things people say about you will make you feel bad.

I'll use Prince as an example. When he receives awards, he thanks God, but doesn't go on and on about how great he is. But in his music, his lyrics express his confidence and security in his own abilities.

I see what you mean but boasting means bragging. Thinking that you are 'da bomb' is not being boastful, it means you have high self-esteem which is fine - what you feel about yourself is a personal matter not boasting.

ScarletScandal said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Being an Over-Achiever is only an issue if you are torturing everyone in your known universe with your obsession to over-achieve or if you actually aren't achieving anything because you are trying to achieve everything

What if you are achieving but not trying to?

If you are an over-achiever who is only achieving then wouldn't you be an under-achiever?

just1lousydime said:

Modesty is overrated. People are always going to try to belittle what you have so they can feel better about themselves. If you don't think you're the bomb dot com, all that chatter from others will get to you.

Thank you.

There is also a not-so-slight chance that a person who offers an opinion on her own level of ability on a thread of exactly that topic does not go around tooting her own horn, in general.

ScarletScandal said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Being an Over-Achiever is only an issue if you are torturing everyone in your known universe with your obsession to over-achieve or if you actually aren't achieving anything because you are trying to achieve everything

What if you are achieving but not trying to?

Then people are just projecting and you are simply manifesting!

mcmeekle said:

ScarletScandal said:

What if you are achieving but not trying to?

If you are an over-achiever who is only achieving then wouldn't you be an under-achiever?

I think the term is used to describe having the the above average ability to achieve. Well, either way I don't like the term at all.

I learned very early on in life that the things that were lickety-split easy for me, others struggled with, and that I was different. And that my adeptness might embarrass, threaten, and pretty much scare people off. I learned to be alone with my intelligence.

Hence I began a lifetime of suppressing myself. I kept everything inside and showed nothing. Luckily that did not translate to schoolwork, and I had the support structure to excel in school and extracurricular activities.

But because of my emotional issues with being gifted and the isolation I felt around it, I fell into the camp of under-achiever in my adult life. It's been a long road to own my gifts and not be ashamed of them. Because I am quiet and shy, people would often condescend to me. Now I fight back the moment I recognize that happening and I correct them, especially men. Now I relish academic thought and conversation, and artistic skill and I surround myself with the smartest, most intelligent people I can find. In the big world (as opposed to grade shool or even grad school), people don't always see or acknowledge talent. I'm getting better at advertising mine with confidence because I want the good jobs, good salaries and grants. Why let someone else step ahead? I think it's harder for women to show their stuff. So many societal messages discourage it. But I don't care anymore. I've turned the tables. If someone bores me to tears because they can't have an intelligent conversation, I move on, rather than try to conform to their level. I'm so much happier now.

heartbeatocean said:

I learned very early on in life that the things that were lickety-split easy for me, others struggled with, and that I was different. And that my adeptness might embarrass, threaten, and pretty much scare people off. I learned to be alone with my intelligence.

Hence I began a lifetime of suppressing myself. I kept everything inside and showed nothing. Luckily that did not translate to schoolwork, and I had the support structure to excel in school and extracurricular activities.

But because of my emotional issues with being gifted and the isolation I felt around it, I fell into the camp of under-achiever in my adult life. It's been a long road to own my gifts and not be ashamed of them. Because I am quiet and shy, people would often condescend to me. Now I fight back the moment I recognize that happening and I correct them, especially men. Now I relish academic thought and conversation, and artistic skill and I surround myself with the smartest, most intelligent people I can find. In the big world (as opposed to grade shool or even grad school), people don't always see or acknowledge talent. I'm getting better at advertising mine with confidence because I want the good jobs, good salaries and grants. Why let someone else step ahead? I think it's harder for women to show their stuff. So many societal messages discourage it. But I don't care anymore. I've turned the tables. If someone bores me to tears because they can't have an intelligent conversation, I move on, rather than try to conform to their level. I'm so much happier now.

aMEN!! I feel you on that!! I live in Los Angeles, and people out here are obsessed with celebrities, while I'm really not. It annoys me when people say "i know/met/hung out with *insert celebrity flavor of the moment here* blah blah blah* I'd rather brag about meeting someone who actually brings something artistic and intelligent to the table of society, then someone who's just a symbol of a lifestyle other people want.

ScarletScandal said:

heartbeatocean said:

I learned very early on in life that the things that were lickety-split easy for me, others struggled with, and that I was different. And that my adeptness might embarrass, threaten, and pretty much scare people off. I learned to be alone with my intelligence.

Hence I began a lifetime of suppressing myself. I kept everything inside and showed nothing. Luckily that did not translate to schoolwork, and I had the support structure to excel in school and extracurricular activities.

But because of my emotional issues with being gifted and the isolation I felt around it, I fell into the camp of under-achiever in my adult life. It's been a long road to own my gifts and not be ashamed of them. Because I am quiet and shy, people would often condescend to me. Now I fight back the moment I recognize that happening and I correct them, especially men. Now I relish academic thought and conversation, and artistic skill and I surround myself with the smartest, most intelligent people I can find. In the big world (as opposed to grade shool or even grad school), people don't always see or acknowledge talent. I'm getting better at advertising mine with confidence because I want the good jobs, good salaries and grants. Why let someone else step ahead? I think it's harder for women to show their stuff. So many societal messages discourage it. But I don't care anymore. I've turned the tables. If someone bores me to tears because they can't have an intelligent conversation, I move on, rather than try to conform to their level. I'm so much happier now.

aMEN!! I feel you on that!! I live in Los Angeles, and people out here are obsessed with celebrities, while I'm really not. It annoys me when people say "i know/met/hung out with *insert celebrity flavor of the moment here* blah blah blah* I'd rather brag about meeting someone who actually brings something artistic and intelligent to the table of society, then someone who's just a symbol of a lifestyle other people want.

I've gotten much better lately at winnowing out unwanted conversations like that. Or at least knowing and accepting what things interest me as opposed to what interests others. It's been a long process toward self-knowledge and self-acceptance. But with self-acceptance, confidence gets solid.

Shouldn't U universally talented fucknuggets be off somewhere being geniuses instead of wasteing your time with us on here?! Be off and excell at something, go on!!

SexLovely said:

Shouldn't U universally talented fucknuggets be off somewhere being geniuses instead of wasteing your time with us on here?! Be off and excell at something, go on!!

No, we're emotionally starved. But now I'll turn my attention to George Bernard Shaw.

SexLovely said:

Shouldn't U universally talented fucknuggets be off somewhere being geniuses instead of wasteing your time with us on here?! Be off and excell at something, go on!!

Oh every once and a while, we like to descend from Valhalla and examine you basic people and see how far along you've come without us

SexLovely said:

Shouldn't U universally talented fucknuggets be off somewhere being geniuses instead of wasteing your time with us on here?! Be off and excell at something, go on!!

LOL

I've never been labled as an over-achiever but wherever I work I always do the best I can and my employers tend to depend on me a lot and expect so much more from me and give me more work to do that it can sometimes not be a fair or good thing.

Genesia said:

just1lousydime said:

Modesty is overrated. People are always going to try to belittle what you have so they can feel better about themselves. If you don't think you're the bomb dot com, all that chatter from others will get to you.

Thank you.

There is also a not-so-slight chance that a person who offers an opinion on her own level of ability on a thread of exactly that topic does not go around tooting her own horn, in general.

I think the point of the original post is that Scarlet was made to feel uncomfortable about his abilities; which led to a feeling that he should hide or mask his gifts. That leads to not using your gifts to the fullest and usually some sort of depression follows.

I know that Genesia was also someone persuaded by her family to ditch her artistic ambitions for something more "practical" and sooner or later she'd "grow-up and get over that phase". But her love for theater didn't go away.

Anyway, I see this as a thread about uncovering your artistic abilities that you may have safely locked away to avoid unwanted comments etc. I don't see it as a thread as Scarlet and others wishing simply to blow their own horn all over the internet and in general.

Deadflow3r said:

Genesia said:

Thank you.

There is also a not-so-slight chance that a person who offers an opinion on her own level of ability on a thread of exactly that topic does not go around tooting her own horn, in general.

I think the point of the original post is that Scarlet was made to feel uncomfortable about his abilities; which led to a feeling that he should hide or mask his gifts. That leads to not using your gifts to the fullest and usually some sort of depression follows.

I know that Genesia was also someone persuaded by her family to ditch her artistic ambitions for something more "practical" and sooner or later she'd "grow-up and get over that phase". But her love for theater didn't go away.

Anyway, I see this as a thread about uncovering your artistic abilities that you may have safely locked away to avoid unwanted comments etc. I don't see it as a thread as Scarlet and others wishing simply to blow their own horn all over the internet and in general.

Thank You.

I didn't make this thread to brag about anything. Hell, because of my complex I'm trying to get over, I really don't have anything to brag about anyway lol

I just told those stories to give some back story as to why I developed this way of mind, that's all. It's also stunted my creativity tremendously, and usually when I'm doing something, there's ALWAYS that little voice in the back of my mind telling me "you can do better than this..." and this endless pursuit begins of me trying to unlock this creative potential that I was brought up to supress.

heartbeatocean said:

I learned very early on in life that the things that were lickety-split easy for me, others struggled with, and that I was different. And that my adeptness might embarrass, threaten, and pretty much scare people off. I learned to be alone with my intelligence.

Hence I began a lifetime of suppressing myself. I kept everything inside and showed nothing. Luckily that did not translate to schoolwork, and I had the support structure to excel in school and extracurricular activities.

But because of my emotional issues with being gifted and the isolation I felt around it, I fell into the camp of under-achiever in my adult life. It's been a long road to own my gifts and not be ashamed of them. Because I am quiet and shy, people would often condescend to me. Now I fight back the moment I recognize that happening and I correct them, especially men. Now I relish academic thought and conversation, and artistic skill and I surround myself with the smartest, most intelligent people I can find. In the big world (as opposed to grade shool or even grad school), people don't always see or acknowledge talent. I'm getting better at advertising mine with confidence because I want the good jobs, good salaries and grants. Why let someone else step ahead? I think it's harder for women to show their stuff. So many societal messages discourage it. But I don't care anymore. I've turned the tables. If someone bores me to tears because they can't have an intelligent conversation, I move on, rather than try to conform to their level. I'm so much happier now.

TheFreakerFantastic said:

^ God the lack of modesty among you yanks is bloody sickening...pass me the bucket...

Sounds like a jealous underachiever to me.

PurpleRighteous1 said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

^ God the lack of modesty among you yanks is bloody sickening...pass me the bucket...

Sounds like a jealous underachiever to me.

Not true...i just don't need to boast

TheFreakerFantastic said:

PurpleRighteous1 said:

Sounds like a jealous underachiever to me.

Not true...i just don't need to boast

Dont hold back eh FF!?

SexLovely said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

Not true...i just don't need to boast

Dont hold back eh FF!?

Why should I eh?

ScarletScandal said:

Deadflow3r said:

I think the point of the original post is that Scarlet was made to feel uncomfortable about his abilities; which led to a feeling that he should hide or mask his gifts. That leads to not using your gifts to the fullest and usually some sort of depression follows.

I know that Genesia was also someone persuaded by her family to ditch her artistic ambitions for something more "practical" and sooner or later she'd "grow-up and get over that phase". But her love for theater didn't go away.

Anyway, I see this as a thread about uncovering your artistic abilities that you may have safely locked away to avoid unwanted comments etc. I don't see it as a thread as Scarlet and others wishing simply to blow their own horn all over the internet and in general.

Thank You.

I didn't make this thread to brag about anything. Hell, because of my complex I'm trying to get over, I really don't have anything to brag about anyway lol

I just told those stories to give some back story as to why I developed this way of mind, that's all. It's also stunted my creativity tremendously, and usually when I'm doing something, there's ALWAYS that little voice in the back of my mind telling me "you can do better than this..." and this endless pursuit begins of me trying to unlock this creative potential that I was brought up to supress.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I cannot stand labels. Being labeled gifted actually isolated me from the majority as I went through elementary, middle and high school. I'm African American and I was in class with the majority of Caucasion or Asian kids. I was teased relentlessly for speaking proper, for being different, and not being "black". It made me hide who I really am because I wanted to be accepted and not seen as different.

Plus, I saw being gifted as a curse growing up. In my family they expected me to be perfect because I was gifted. I HATED that!!! I began piano lessons at age eight. By twelve (I'll never forget) I was visiting my family in South Carolina and played a piece by Beethoven (Fur Elise). Well, I messed up and my aunt from NY told me there are no excuses for messing up because I've been taking lessons too long. I grew to hate playing the piano. After taking lessons for 10 years I quit when I turned 18 (cause Momma couldn't make me do it anymore). But what happened was I grew up to be a perfectionist, that led me to depression when I fell short of what I felt was great. My standards for myself were so high that it took me YEARS (until two years ago) to realize that I am not, nor will I ever be perfect. I feel so much better now, though I still strive for the best. I'm in graduate school and classmates tell me to relax, that as long as I get a B I will graduate with honors. That's not good enough for me, I want my A's! If that sounds like I'm bragging, I'm not. It's just that I know what I am capable of and I will feel bad if I do not reach that marker. Maybe, it's mixed with growing up with high expectations from family members and not wanting to let them down and now it's part of who I am. One thing that remains, like childhood, it's difficult for me to fit in with my peers. I find myself changing my speech to fit those around me quite often. My professors are the only ones that have the bigger picture of who I am because I express it in my work. I was chosen to speak in front of a panel during American Education Week last year and my classmates were stunned when they found out. Not me, quiet me, that sits in the back of the classroom and offers nothing unless asked. I submitted an essay on Education Meeting the Needs of the 21st Century and was chosen among many other applicants to share it before Department heads of various cities, professors, students, and others. This drew unwanted attention to me because I am generally a behind the scenes individual. However, I am proud of myself for finding that balance with loving and accepting me and sharing a part of me and what I care about with those who will listen. That is the beauty of being me. I don't care about the "gifted" "perfectionist" label anymore. At my age, I refuse to hide who I am to make others feel better about themself.

Plus, my sons were both identified gifted in elementary school and I worked hard to make sure that they remained humble and self assured with that label. I never placed unwarranted pressure on my sons to GO GO GO because that will be a hindrance in the long run. My oldest (turned 18 today) went to college at 15. Recently he told me he was burnt out and wanted to take a year off from college. I said, "cool". He has a part time job and is traveling this summer. I'm happy for him.

ScarletScandal, when your mind and your heart connects all of your creative potential will be unleashed. Allow it to merge and endless possibilities will flow, I promise you!