JustErin said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

to the sensitive, probably

And here's the thing, no one is saying that being sensitive is bad or wrong...just that if you're going to put yourself out there, be prepared to get ANY type of response. If you can't deal with that, it's best not to participate.

But why do some people feel the need to put others down? And why do they just have to express it? Can't they just stfu about it and think it in their own head? What good does it do the open community to put others down just for the sake of being mean? Cause you can't tell me that they don't do it to be mean.

Fauxie said:

imago said:

ok, after reading some of these comments,....

I've had my picture posted by other orgers then teased about all sorts of things about my looks.

Fat, "orange", hideous, gross--you name it. Sometimes, they're trying to get a reaction out of you.

I know it hurts, but if you're posting your photos online for validation, some of that

"feedback" isn't going to be positive. Sometimes, it's not even about the way you

look, and more about the fact they are annoyed by you or don't like you for

whatever reason.

The Internet is a mean, mean place. If you want to play on it, being crushed by

a few comments from somebody you don't know or will never meet is only

going to ruin your experience.

My advice: Stop posting pictures for validation with the expectation that all

you're going to get are compliments.

What thread was this anyways? I'm shit for following yall anymore.

Wait, this ^^^ is the post that ppl are taking issue with? Taking it as a whole this all sounds like good, rational advice to me, and given the first part empathizes with the OP I don't see how is being seen as anything like a 'verbal assault' or 'underhanded stab'. There's some sensible, home truths in there but I don't know how anyone would get 'mean' from it. It's obviously sympathetic to the OP's situation.

Probably because the underlying tone is acceptance that someone is bullying another person. It's funny because I know you have spoken out about how vitriolic it is around these parts nowadays. Well, this is an example of vitriolic behavior. It's not about whether or not a person posts for validation. Some of you GD regulars feel very, very safe around each other and you speak up for each other.

That's not to say you wouldn't give each other tough love (purplemookiebut?) or something, but let's be honest. It's not really that much to expect that people don't act like a damn fool about someone's picture. Is it a possibility? Perhaps, in some venues. But that doesn't absolve the asshole from his assholish behavior.

And additionally, waxing condescending about people's self esteem when they express that something hurt their feelings is a little insensitive and victim-blaming.

I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish...but my ass had one of the best Insatiables of all time! ONE OF THE BEST INSATIABLES OF ALL TIMEEEEE

Spinlight said:

Fauxie said:

Wait, this ^^^ is the post that ppl are taking issue with? Taking it as a whole this all sounds like good, rational advice to me, and given the first part empathizes with the OP I don't see how is being seen as anything like a 'verbal assault' or 'underhanded stab'. There's some sensible, home truths in there but I don't know how anyone would get 'mean' from it. It's obviously sympathetic to the OP's situation.

Probably because the underlying tone is acceptance that someone is bullying another person. It's funny because I know you have spoken out about how vitriolic it is around these parts nowadays. Well, this is an example of vitriolic behavior. It's not about whether or not a person posts for validation. Some of you GD regulars feel very, very safe around each other and you speak up for each other.

That's not to say you wouldn't give each other tough love (purplemookiebut?) or something, but let's be honest. It's not really that much to expect that people don't act like a damn fool about someone's picture. Is it a possibility? Perhaps, in some venues. But that doesn't absolve the asshole from his assholish behavior.

And additionally, waxing condescending about people's self esteem when they express that something hurt their feelings is a little insensitive and victim-blaming.

I don't think it's absolving the asshole of assholish behaviour though. Everyone seems to agree that the banning was the right thing to do and that punishment was warranted. Reminding someone that mean responses to their photos can and likely at some point will happen doesn't automatically make someone an apologist for that behaviour. Everyone could show as much indignation as they like but it's still going to happen. I think the above advice might actually be at least as helpful as someone saying 'he was an asshole, you didn't deserve that', or 'you're pretty, be yourself', and maybe more.

Fauxie said:

Spinlight said:

Probably because the underlying tone is acceptance that someone is bullying another person. It's funny because I know you have spoken out about how vitriolic it is around these parts nowadays. Well, this is an example of vitriolic behavior. It's not about whether or not a person posts for validation. Some of you GD regulars feel very, very safe around each other and you speak up for each other.

That's not to say you wouldn't give each other tough love (purplemookiebut?) or something, but let's be honest. It's not really that much to expect that people don't act like a damn fool about someone's picture. Is it a possibility? Perhaps, in some venues. But that doesn't absolve the asshole from his assholish behavior.

And additionally, waxing condescending about people's self esteem when they express that something hurt their feelings is a little insensitive and victim-blaming.

I don't think it's absolving the asshole of assholish behaviour though. Everyone seems to agree that the banning was the right thing to do and that punishment was warranted. Reminding someone that mean responses to their photos can and likely at some point will happen doesn't automatically make someone an apologist for that behaviour. Everyone could show as much indignation as they like but it's still going to happen. I think the above advice might actually be at least as helpful as someone saying 'he was an asshole, you didn't deserve that', or 'you're pretty, be yourself', and maybe more.

Perhaps it doesn't absolve him, but it does seem to sort of cast her in a fairly pathetic light despite the fact she tried to explain why she reacted the way she did. I think it's fair to take a person at their word about their own feelings and perhaps try to move on from the event.

I'm sure she regrets even making this thread now.

INSATIABLE said:

I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish...but my ass had one of the best Insatiables of all time! ONE OF THE BEST INSATIABLES OF ALL TIMEEEEE

Spinlight said:

Fauxie said:

I don't think it's absolving the asshole of assholish behaviour though. Everyone seems to agree that the banning was the right thing to do and that punishment was warranted. Reminding someone that mean responses to their photos can and likely at some point will happen doesn't automatically make someone an apologist for that behaviour. Everyone could show as much indignation as they like but it's still going to happen. I think the above advice might actually be at least as helpful as someone saying 'he was an asshole, you didn't deserve that', or 'you're pretty, be yourself', and maybe more.

Perhaps it doesn't absolve him, but it does seem to sort of cast her in a fairly pathetic light despite the fact she tried to explain why she reacted the way she did. I think it's fair to take a person at their word about their own feelings and perhaps try to move on from the event.

I'm sure she regrets even making this thread now.

Quite possibly, but you know, when you start a thread in a public forum on the internet, sometimes........

has anybody mentioned me yet?

Fauxie said:

paintedlady said:

Uh, no. There was nothing "wanna-be" about Mutha. That "uber-troll" told the truth to much dismay and without apology. Pissed many off and punked all the wanna-be-thugs that threatened women in P&R ... it was a joy to see too. He was a total nuisance in the basketball threads and made them fun the read. You can remember those days how ever YOU want to though... what ever helps you feel better about those exchanges.

If you're gonna talk shit... make sure you keep it real. Now let those giants sleep.

I don't know about in P&R but in GD he was a trolling twat who routinely got exposed as such and rightly laughed at, until he could no longer hang. He was quite amusing though, but almost entirely unwittingly. It seems we disagree though.

You dregging up old shit about a banned orger that has forgotten all about you says much about how much he had your ass shook. He could not hang? Naw.. its more like you worked HARD to have him banned because you couldn't hang with him and got pissed and ran to mods at every given moment. ONLY Rodeoshro and Graycap could hang with his brand of discussion on basketball and sports. Mutha was relentless and that made him hated in many threads. People saw him as a total pain in the ass, but he was funny as hell.

Shit happened years ago Fauxie... its OK to let it go now.

Apparently, it OK to talk total shit about orgers in the past and that are no longer here to defend themselves....

I wish people would let old shit go.

paintedlady said:

Fauxie said:

I don't know about in P&R but in GD he was a trolling twat who routinely got exposed as such and rightly laughed at, until he could no longer hang. He was quite amusing though, but almost entirely unwittingly. It seems we disagree though.

You dregging up old shit about a banned orger that has forgotten all about you says much about how much he had your ass shook. He could not hang? Naw.. its more like you worked HARD to have him banned because you couldn't hang with him and got pissed and ran to mods at every given moment. ONLY Rodeoshro and Graycap could hang with his brand of discussion on basketball and sports. Mutha was relentless and that made him hated in many threads. People saw him as a total pain in the ass, but he was funny as hell.

Shit happened years ago Fauxie... its OK to let it go now.

I remember disagreeing with him and having a few spats, but I don't remember reporting him. I didn't know that's what happened (was on a break possibly?). I didn't mind his being here, as it's good to have all sorts. I just thought he was a troll and a bit of a self-aggrandizing idiot, is all. Anyway, he's not here anymore, which is pudding proof he couldn't hang one way or another. Social skills are important, if you want to stay. If you want to troll then I guess it's no biggie.

.

[Edited 8/14/11 17:30pm]

paintedlady said:

Apparently, it OK to talk total shit about orgers in the past and that are no longer here to defend themselves....

I wish people would let old shit go.

Ok, ok, fair enough. It's not fair since he's not here. I'm sorry.

first off let me thank everyone for there responces to this thread.. i really have read every single responce... i just wanna say that everyone has said something that was positive and heart felt and just damn good advice.. there are people that were straight up in there responces and i admire them for that.. nothing that has been said that has hurt my feelings... i really do and did need a reality check in the taking what others say about me to heart department ( i promise im gonna try and work on it) its just that all my life ive felt insecure about me (but i guess it my own fault i gotta try to believe in me better)

i dont regret making this thread it felt GOOD to just be able to write down my feelings and share..(i always bottle things up that bother me and it just keeps clawing at me till i have a melt down about it)

i truly didnt even realize how many people care for me on this forum..

im kinda aww struck by it..

i just wanna let you guys know

im gonna try to take some of this advice and run with it

all of you

p.s. some of these replys have really touched my heart

ive never had people tell me such nice things

thank you again,

cortney (insatiable3)

INSATIABLE said:

I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish...but my ass had one of the best Insatiables of all time! ONE OF THE BEST INSATIABLES OF ALL TIMEEEEE

ok this made me fall over a die of laughter !! love it!! and

Teacher said:

JustErin said:

And here's the thing, no one is saying that being sensitive is bad or wrong...just that if you're going to put yourself out there, be prepared to get ANY type of response. If you can't deal with that, it's best not to participate.

But why do some people feel the need to put others down? And why do they just have to express it? Can't they just stfu about it and think it in their own head? What good does it do the open community to put others down just for the sake of being mean? Cause you can't tell me that they don't do it to be mean.

People act that way for any number of reasons...trying to figure out why they do it doesn't change anything. People do what they do and in turn you simply have to deal with it.

Vendetta1 said:

I wished I had post before this thread got weird but anywho......

For the longest time, I was one of the super-sensitive people on these boards. To this day, I still have people make fun of me for it. I will not apologize for who I am. You have a lot of internet punks and bullies here Cortney, none of who would dare say the things they say to you online to your face. Even though I am sure most of us are at least over 21, I don't get the whole "poking fun" at people. Sure, some folks can take it. Some cannot. If I don't like someone here, I've learned to just ignore them.

Never show weakness sweetie. A lot of people will tell you not to worry about it or get over it because it's not them. I believe this thread is fodder for bad Org behavior to continue.

Lastly, the org is very much like real life: it shows the shallow callous nature of human beings. It allows people to say mean things to each other because that person gets to remain anonymous and makes that person feel good about his or her self.

I know know outside of this place and you are wonderful. You can't let one ignorant asshole shake who I know you are.

ty ivy i think your wonderful too

insatiable3 said:

INSATIABLE said:

I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish...but my ass had one of the best Insatiables of all time! ONE OF THE BEST INSATIABLES OF ALL TIMEEEEE

ok this made me fall over a die of laughter !! love it!! and

please don't encourage her...

[Edited 8/15/11 2:00am]

JustErin said:

Teacher said:

But why do some people feel the need to put others down? And why do they just have to express it? Can't they just stfu about it and think it in their own head? What good does it do the open community to put others down just for the sake of being mean? Cause you can't tell me that they don't do it to be mean.

People act that way for any number of reasons...trying to figure out why they do it doesn't change anything. People do what they do and in turn you simply have to deal with it.

no, but it's nice to stand back and think that when they do it it's because of their own insecurities and personality defects, it's not YOU, it's THEM

ZombieKitten said:

JustErin said:

People act that way for any number of reasons...trying to figure out why they do it doesn't change anything. People do what they do and in turn you simply have to deal with it.

no, but it's nice to stand back and think that when they do it it's because of their own insecurities and personality defects, it's not YOU, it's THEM

agree. there are those who hang here who are anything BUT mentally intact. it is very important to remember that the person posting next to you might not be quite right in the head.

imo, anyone who takes this board seriously enough to want to do something retaliatory about another person's posts, or opinions in real life, needs psychiatric HELP.

^ yes kitty and dean, i'm talking about YOU

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

JustErin said:

Actually, they aren't because the end result is the same.

to the sensitive, probably

JustErin said:

Teacher said:

But why do some people feel the need to put others down? And why do they just have to express it? Can't they just stfu about it and think it in their own head? What good does it do the open community to put others down just for the sake of being mean? Cause you can't tell me that they don't do it to be mean.

People act that way for any number of reasons...trying to figure out why they do it doesn't change anything. People do what they do and in turn you simply have to deal with it.

Oh it does change things. Understanding why a person acts like an asshole reveals a great many things about them. Then it's easier dealing with them on a daily basis.

Deadflow3r said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

to the sensitive, probably

This was possibly the most profound thing I have ever said on the org!

Actually I had typed out quite a bit and it got lost. Maybe it needed to. Anyway I see things the same way Supa does and I believe he is just trying to get people to proceed with caution. Anything you post or say can come back to haunt you. Any pic you post can be lifted and used whichever way the person who lifted it pleases. Know how sensative you are; there is no perfect point to be on the scale of 1 being very sensative and 10 being having the hide of a rhino. The need is to know your OWN skin.