PDogz said:

I met most of my closest adulthood friends through various jobs I've held. And most of them annoyed the Hell out of me before becoming friends, lol. Initially, my reaction to many of them was like: "Oh no, here comes THIS guy/girl again", lol. Then over time, many of them setup shop in my heart, lol. The irony of this is that many of these friends are gone now, and I miss them dearly.

The lesson I've learned? Be more mindful of those that annoy me.

I've had that with a friend too! Then we did a project together, and we really liked eachother. Had great fun working with her.

CM7 said:

That's a damn good question.

that's a lousy answer.

Genesia said:

I have friends I met in college, friends I worked with at some point, and friends I met doing theatre.

I have no close friends that I've known for less than 20 years.

Really? So, you're not interested in meeting new people, or don't you just bother anymore?

Or do you need at least 20 years to grow a friendship?

kpowers said:

At the Hall of Justice

What happened?

vainandy said:

I only have two left now.

One is a straight guy that I've been friends with since the sixth grade. He's a work-a-holic though and I usually just talk to him on the phone every now and then. Hell, if he's awake, he's at work.

The other is a guy that I met in the gay clubs back in the early 1990s and we've been best friends for years. I see him probably once every two or three weeks or so. I work days now and he works nights as security in that same gay club that has now become too boring to go to. Every once in a while, we get together on either a Saturday or a Sunday and go have lunch together somewhere and then come back to my apartment and hang out for a few hours. Or every blue moon he might come over on a Friday or Saturday night and hang out for a little while before he has to go to work but that's not very often.

Two of my other best friends have moved out of town and another one died back in 2008. All the rest of the people in my life have been simply just acquaintances, I really wouldn't call them good friends. And they have all either died of AIDS, been killed by rough trade, or have moved out of town.

Since my mother's passing in 2007, my brother has been mainly the person that I hang out and drink with on a lot of Friday nights.

As for the club scene these days, that's about as fun as a damn Lawrence Welk concert so I have no desire to get back into it. Now, if good music were to come back, I'd be all up in the clubs. But that ain't never gonna happen. Shit hop has got these folks tastes slower than an opera these days and trance has them overspeeded up like fucking rabbits on speed.

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[Edited 7/28/11 1:35am]

whistle said:

i haven't got any friends.

Well, when you assume that everybody is a fruit & nutcase, I can imagine that you would not want any friends

When I was 11, I met my best friend when I bitchslapped her little sister for talking crap about my mother.

She had a rep in the neighborhood for being lil' miss badass. I was the neighborhood wimp that kept her inhalor in her pompom sock. So, despite being terrified I walked right up to her and said ....

"I hit you sister for talking about my mother, if you need to beat me up for that right now... I understand, so here I am."

We became instant friends because my friend though her little sister was a pain in the ass too.

We are still the best of friends 29 years later. He little sister is STILL a pain in the ass, not much has changed.

I don't have very many friends.

I love the ladies I work with, we get together outside of work sometimes, but they hang out more with each other, or other friends, than me.

My husband has a TON of friends from all over, from all times in his life. I call him a "keeper". He keeps people. It's a gift he has.

I am not that way. I grew up as an Air Force Brat, then I married a sailor. Up until we moved here, and we've lived here 12 years now, I'd never lived anywhere longer than 5-6 years. We'd move, I'd call and write, not get much response if any and let people go.

Now we've lived in this same place 12 years and in this time I made one really great friend, just in the last 3-ish years. I'd known her through my husband's work for a couple of years, but she always looked at me like I was crazy or something. Then she and her husband were in a bad car accident and I dropped everything to go help them. They thought I was crazy because we weren't friends, but that didn't matter to me, they needed help. They've never let me go since. Turns out she's a HUGE Prince fan. We use to watch the Superbowl together taking turns at each other's house. The year Prince played the Half-time show, she hosted it at her house, made a symbol cake, we had a blast. After that she got a symbol tatoo on her arm. I love it. We also went to LV to a 3121 show.

But now they've moved out of state

I'd like to have more friends, but I'm not the easiest to get along with and I don't click with most people. Guess I am crazy.

PDogz said:

That's very sad.

I had a similar experience with my buddy John that passed away last year. The difference being; although he called every single night, at least we'd have really interesting conversations (up to 2 or 3 hours a night). But still, I'm like you in that I really don't enjoy being on the phone that much. Nevertheless, we talked every night for about the past 6 or 7 years, and had known each other since 1989.

You spend many hours on the phone, eventhough you'r not a phone person. That prooves that you gave him your best and a lot attention and friendship.

John was much older than I (he was in his early 70's when he passed), and lived alone in Hawaii. I didn't realize it until he was gone that he was probably fearful of dying (...and of being alone). And like with you and Boris, sometimes I would just stay on the phone with him until I'd hear him snoring.

So, you were truly a good friend

Something I'm having trouble forgiving myself for; is like you, I began letting my answering service pickup when he'd call. I did this for about a month or so before he seemed to get the message and stopped trying as often.

At that moment you didn't have the energy/time/strength or whatever for the long phone calls. You did not do this because you intentionally wanted to hurt him. You probably needed to protect your own time and energylevel. You didn't know at that time that he would die in two months. It's judging yourself based on hindsight information. Based on the info you had at that time, in the condition you were in at that time, you made that move. Very humane. It doesn't sound to me you wanted to hurt him at all.

Then, after the second month of not answering the phone, he called and I picked up. We talked for about 2 hours about really deep, meaningful things. He talked about what a great friend I had been to him, and I shared about how much I appreciated his friendship as well, and how he had been there for me when no one else was.

It's great that he wanted to let you know how much he had allways apreciated you. And according to his standards and needs he stated you were a great friend to him. So, don't be hard on yourself and beat yourself up, by judging yourself harshly by your own strict standards. How would you have judged him if it would have been the other way around?

Then, about a week later (on July 18, 2010) I sent him a text message to inform him that my oldest nephew had just passed away that morning unexpectedly, but John didn't respond. 5 days later, I got a text message back from his phone, but it was his son Jorge sending it. The text informed me that his Dad, my buddy, had passed away... ON JULY 18, 2010 - the same day my nephew passed away, the same day I had sent him the text.

And now I can't forgive myself. When my long-time buddy and mentor needed me the most, all he got was an answering machine. I can't imagine how extra-lonely he must have felt, and fearful. And now, night after night, my phone is silent.

You have been there for him for a long time. Maybe not in the last two months of his life, however, he clearly did cherish your friendship and you probably have been a great support for him during many months more than the times you couldn't be there for him.

Again, do you think he would want you to be so unforgiving to yourself or do you think he would want you to think back about a beautiful warm friendship that you both cherished and both were present at the best of your abilities?

dJJ said:

kpowers said:

At the Hall of Justice

What happened?

We fought the Legion of Doom

kpowers said:

dJJ said:

What happened?

We fought the Legion of Doom

Do you still have friends then, or did they die at that fight?

Did they just show up or had you already met them befor you all started fighting the Legion of Doom?

dJJ said:

PDogz said:

That's very sad.

I had a similar experience with my buddy John that passed away last year. The difference being; although he called every single night, at least we'd have really interesting conversations (up to 2 or 3 hours a night). But still, I'm like you in that I really don't enjoy being on the phone that much. Nevertheless, we talked every night for about the past 6 or 7 years, and had known each other since 1989.

You spend many hours on the phone, eventhough you'r not a phone person. That prooves that you gave him your best and a lot attention and friendship.

John was much older than I (he was in his early 70's when he passed), and lived alone in Hawaii. I didn't realize it until he was gone that he was probably fearful of dying (...and of being alone). And like with you and Boris, sometimes I would just stay on the phone with him until I'd hear him snoring.

So, you were truly a good friend

Something I'm having trouble forgiving myself for; is like you, I began letting my answering service pickup when he'd call. I did this for about a month or so before he seemed to get the message and stopped trying as often.

At that moment you didn't have the energy/time/strength or whatever for the long phone calls. You did not do this because you intentionally wanted to hurt him. You probably needed to protect your own time and energy level. You didn't know at that time that he would die in two months. It's judging yourself based on hindsight information. Based on the info you had at that time, in the condition you were in at that time, you made that move. Very humane. It doesn't sound to me you wanted to hurt him at all.

Then, after the second month of not answering the phone, he called and I picked up. We talked for about 2 hours about really deep, meaningful things. He talked about what a great friend I had been to him, and I shared about how much I appreciated his friendship as well, and how he had been there for me when no one else was.

It's great that he wanted to let you know how much he had always apreciated you. And according to his standards and needs he stated you were a great friend to him. So, don't be hard on yourself and beat yourself up, by judging yourself harshly by your own strict standards. How would you have judged him if it would have been the other way around?

Then, about a week later (on July 18, 2010) I sent him a text message to inform him that my oldest nephew had just passed away that morning unexpectedly, but John didn't respond. 5 days later, I got a text message back from his phone, but it was his son Jorge sending it. The text informed me that his Dad, my buddy, had passed away... ON JULY 18, 2010 - the same day my nephew passed away, the same day I had sent him the text.

And now I can't forgive myself. When my long-time buddy and mentor needed me the most, all he got was an answering machine. I can't imagine how extra-lonely he must have felt, and fearful. And now, night after night, my phone is silent.

You have been there for him for a long time. Maybe not in the last two months of his life, however, he clearly did cherish your friendship and you probably have been a great support for him during many months more than the times you couldn't be there for him.

Again, do you think he would want you to be so unforgiving to yourself or do you think he would want you to think back about a beautiful warm friendship that you both cherished and both were present at the best of your abilities?

Thanks for your compassionate & insightful response. In many ways, you almost sound like him, lol. And no, he'd absolutely NOT want me beating myself up. You've said many of the things I've needed to hear, and you've given me a lot to think about. Thanks for all that.

University

Work

Highschool

the dance club

through other friends

through boyfriends

at the gym and yoga class but i don't really kick it with those bitches like i used to.

dJJ said:

whistle said:

i haven't got any friends.

Well, when you assume that everybody is a fruit & nutcase, I can imagine that you would not want any friends

yep. good point. not everyone likes granola! !!

dJJ said:

ZombieKitten said:

oh! and one of my friends I met on TV!

elaborate....

she won!!!

School, work, friends of friends/bfs.

ZombieKitten said:

dJJ said:

elaborate....

she won!!!

Are you wearing makeup?

sextonseven said:

ZombieKitten said:

she won!!!

Are you wearing makeup?

yeah, they spend over an hour with me in make-up

They did my hair too, not that you can tell

ZombieKitten said:

sextonseven said:

Are you wearing makeup?

yeah, they spend over an hour with me in make-up

They did my hair too, not that you can tell

i remember that episode!!!!!!!

i wrote all this crazy shit but they ignored it

and u looked very very very good

but.... i actually thought the boy should have won i remember thinking he looks like he needs a holiday

[Edited 7/28/11 21:36pm]

FuzzyWitch said:

i remember that episode!!!!!!!

i wrote all this crazy shit but they ignored it

and u looked very very very good

but.... i actually thought the boy should have won i remember thinking he looks like he needs a holiday

you entered too!!!

yeah, he did

sextonseven said:

so you think I should wear make-up

I don't really have friends, except for my ex-boyfriend.

ZombieKitten said:

FuzzyWitch said:

i remember that episode!!!!!!!

i wrote all this crazy shit but they ignored it

and u looked very very very good

but.... i actually thought the boy should have won i remember thinking he looks like he needs a holiday

you entered too!!!

yeah, he did

YES of course i did... and i even ignored the fact that i did not have a current passport!!!!

i wrote all this stuff about loving Prince and i even said that if they let me go i would fuck Pete Helliar

ZombieKitten said:

sextonseven said:

so you think I should wear make-up

You look great normally of course. It's just that I've never seen you like that before. It reminds me of NDRU's advice to Dani about changing appearences every so often.

making the most of a double post....

i sill have friends from school... going back to Kindi

other friends i have met from work, and social events

i also made friends with mums from school and kids sporting activities

and you lot

[Edited 7/28/11 22:05pm]

Anywhere and everywhere.

sextonseven said:

ZombieKitten said:

so you think I should wear make-up

You look great normally of course. It's just that I've never seen you like that before. It reminds me of NDRU's advice to Dani about changing appearences every so often.

I don't know what Andy said to her

FuzzyWitch said:

if they let me go i would fuck Pete Helliar

man that's desperate

ZombieKitten said:

FuzzyWitch said:

if they let me go i would fuck Pete Helliar

man that's desperate

yes and can u believe it didnt work!!! i mean u would think he had a lill say on who gets in!!!!

i know i should have said Rove but i didnt want them to think i was weird or anything