WTF!

This is what a friend of mine told me. It made me VERY sad.

This thread is about the female libido. I know we have a ton of hornbags on here (myself included ) who just can't get enough, but if what the married guys on here are all complaining about is true, then their wives hardly ever put out, and horny orgladies are more exceptions than the rule.

What is up with that?

He has no drive or he's cheating.

SoLiDiFy said:

He has no drive or he's cheating.

This thread isn't about HIM

(he's an old guy, he's not a particularly healthy specimen, in and out of hospital etc - he is excused)

I'm focused on her seeming relief that he never asks for sex.

ZombieKitten said:

SoLiDiFy said:

He has no drive or he's cheating.

This thread isn't about HIM

(he's an old guy, he's not a particularly healthy specimen, in and out of hospital etc - he is excused)

I'm focused on her seeming relief that he never asks for sex.

Sorry. I can only give a mans point of view.

SoLiDiFy said:

ZombieKitten said:

This thread isn't about HIM

(he's an old guy, he's not a particularly healthy specimen, in and out of hospital etc - he is excused)

I'm focused on her seeming relief that he never asks for sex.

Sorry. I can only give a mans point of view.

so… give me a summary of your experience with a long term female partner. Does she want it as much as you do?

|

V

[Edited 7/26/11 19:05pm]

dyvrdown said:

SoLiDiFy said:

He has no drive or he's cheating.

or maybe hes just trying too hard not to bug her about sex.

I take it you're not a man.

[Edited 7/26/11 19:05pm]

OK everyone she ISN'T complaining!!!! My friend is REJOICING!!! THAT is the sad part to me!

ZombieKitten said:

SoLiDiFy said:

Sorry. I can only give a mans point of view.

so… give me a summary of your experience with a long term female partner. Does she want it as much as you do?

It was always even at first. Then after about three years it would slip to 60(me)/40(her). Never less than that. I attract horny ones and try to keep em that way.

SoLiDiFy said:

ZombieKitten said:

so… give me a summary of your experience with a long term female partner. Does she want it as much as you do?

It was always even at first. Then after about three years it would slip to 60(me)/40(her). Never less than that. I attract horny ones and try to keep em that way.

so you aren't currently in a long term relationship?

I think that is the pattern, at FIRST it's very even and then there's a drop-off

ZombieKitten said:

OK everyone she ISN'T complaining!!!! My friend is REJOICING!!! THAT is the sad part to me!

It ssems to me like there are some serious behind-the-scenes issues going on in this relationship. Either she's not attracted to her husband like she used to be and she's relieved that he isn't acting on his desires for sex with her, or he's cheating on her, or she may be cheating on him and is relieved he isn't asking for sex from her so she doesn't have to reveal her true inetntions. Then again, maybe she does have a very low libido, but I'm sure even this won't sit well with her husband for very long.

728huey said:

ZombieKitten said:

OK everyone she ISN'T complaining!!!! My friend is REJOICING!!! THAT is the sad part to me!

It ssems to me like there are some serious behind-the-scenes issues going on in this relationship. Either she's not attracted to her husband like she used to be and she's relieved that he isn't acting on his desires for sex with her, or he's cheating on her, or she may be cheating on him and is relieved he isn't asking for sex from her so she doesn't have to reveal her true inetntions. Then again, maybe she does have a very low libido, but I'm sure even this won't sit well with her husband for very long.

is that boff for me?

like I said, he's old and frail and I would expect he is past the age where testosterone levels drop. He probably has a low libido himself.

I agree that she probably ISN'T attracted to him any more I know I wouldn't be!

I have read time and time again, that 20 years into a marriage, it's so common place to hear that it's a sexless marriage, marriage of convenience, like brother and sister, friends living together. Separate bedrooms etc

How old are they?

I have read that some women lose their libido as they get older, but I would think that wouldn't hit till at least mid 40's. It's often worse after menopause, etc.

I can't imagine it myself, but hormones are crazy things.

CarrieMpls said:

How old are they?

I have read that some women lose their libido as they get older, but I would think that wouldn't hit till at least mid 40's. It's often worse after menopause, etc.

I can't imagine it myself, but hormones are crazy things.

she is mid 40s he looks about 60 to me, but he could be as young as 55

oh god I hope that doesn't happen to me

I'd never marry a frigid woman

the line "You're great, you never pester me for sex" is the worst thing a wife could say to me...

JoeTyler said:

I'd never marry a frigid woman

the line "You're great, you never pester me for sex" is the worst thing a wife could say to me...

like Solidify says though, the libido tapers off after some years. You'd have to be with her quite a while before you find out and JustErin always says how those women PRETEND to like sex at first to snare themselves a husband. But is that true? Or do they legitimately lose their libido after time?

ZombieKitten said:

CarrieMpls said:

How old are they?

I have read that some women lose their libido as they get older, but I would think that wouldn't hit till at least mid 40's. It's often worse after menopause, etc.

I can't imagine it myself, but hormones are crazy things.

she is mid 40s he looks about 60 to me, but he could be as young as 55

oh god I hope that doesn't happen to me

Oh, I forgot, her husband may be a closet homosexual. That may be why he doesn't pester her for sex.

BTW, my father married a much younger woman when I was growing up. My mother had died a few years earlier, and my father was 61 when he married my stepmother, who was only 28 at that time. And from my stepmother's recollections, my father had quite a healthy libido even at that age, and it stayed that way until the last year of his life, when he developed a rare but ultimately fatal autoimmune disorder that crippled him by squeezing out the arteries in his extermities, then his legs, than his internal organs and ultimately his heart.

But on a much lighter note, I put the boff emoticon there next to the disapproving emoticon to go with the theme of this thread. But if you want, I can put some more boffing emoticons just for you.

728huey said:

ZombieKitten said:

she is mid 40s he looks about 60 to me, but he could be as young as 55

oh god I hope that doesn't happen to me

Oh, I forgot, her husband may be a closet homosexual. That may be why he doesn't pester her for sex.

BTW, my father married a much younger woman when I was growing up. My mother had died a few years earlier, and my father was 61 when he married my stepmother, who was only 28 at that time. And from my stepmother's recollections, my father had quite a healthy libido even at that age, and it stayed that way until the last year of his life, when he developed a rare but ultimately fatal autoimmune disorder that crippled him by squeezing out the arteries in his extermities, then his legs, than his internal organs and ultimately his heart.

But on a much lighter note, I put the boff emoticon there next to the disapproving emoticon to go with the theme of this thread. But if you want, I can put some more boffing emoticons just for you.

thank you!

anyway, if I was her and found the husband attractive, I would be DEVASTATED and furious if he acted all platonic with me! a sexless marriage to me would last less than a week. But my friend is very happy about it!

I could be in Australia in about two months, maybe four once I renew my passport, get a visa, money and a palne ticket if any lady needs sexual releif, I'm here to serve. I don't expect to have any takers but the offer is out there.

..... and with that I'm back in GD, ohh the humanity.

ZombieKitten said:

OK everyone she ISN'T complaining!!!! My friend is REJOICING!!! THAT is the sad part to me!

Yeah, but if she doesn't want it, isn't asked for it, and that makes her happy, then why does it make you upset?

Sounds like Thelma Harper on "Mama's Family"....

Ellen: Mama, how would you like it if daddy was seeing another woman?

Thelma: Like it? Hell, I would have given him bus fare!

I've noticed a lot of women from the older generation feel this way. My grandmother and two of her sisters (my great aunts) all had separate bedrooms from their husbands. They had a bedroom and their husbands had a bedroom across the hall. Hell, my grandfather's bedroom was on the complete other end of the house. Another one of my great aunts slept in the same bed with her husband. She was the only one of the sisters that didn't have separate bedrooms and her husband was a minister of all things. I used to think she and her husband were the oddballs of the bunch because I just had never been around old people that even slept in the same bed together so you know they weren't having sex.

UncleGrandpa said:

I could be in Australia in about two months, maybe four once I renew my passport, get a visa, money and a palne ticket if any lady needs sexual releif, I'm here to serve. I don't expect to have any takers but the offer is out there.

..... and with that I'm back in GD, ohh the humanity.

awesome

Nothinbutjoy said:

This thread is talking in very general terms...horndog...frigid... What are we talking about here? Horndog wants/has sex 5 times a day? Frigid no more than once a month? I also find it sad that as in this case it sounds like the wife doesn't want to have sex with her husband. However, if the labido ratio is very different, the low ratio partner wanting less sex is valid. Every couple is different, but wanting less sex doesn't always mean a lack of love, affection or passion, it just means wanting less sex. It would appear that there are other factors involved in the case of Zombie's friend and every relationship is different. What's important is respect and communication, because a person's sexuality changes over the years and what matters is being able to share these changes with the one you love.

Yes that's the sad part to me!

It's nearly impossible too to define WHAT is a normal amount of sex.

I'm thinking for the long term relationship folks 2-3 times a week is a fair bit, I'd hazard a guess that a lot consider themselves lucky if they get it once a week and unlucky if it's less than once a month, and then you are usually talking about bigger discrepancies between the 2 partners where one is disgruntled and resentful because their advances are regularly rejected or resentful and hurt because they get "pestered for sex" too often.

armpit said:

ZombieKitten said:

OK everyone she ISN'T complaining!!!! My friend is REJOICING!!! THAT is the sad part to me!

Yeah, but if she doesn't want it, isn't asked for it, and that makes her happy, then why does it make you upset?

because SEX IS AWESOME!!!

I don't know about the husband, but maybe he used to pester her for sex and gave up? don't know (don't want to know!) more details.

I do realise sex isn't everything, but it's such an enjoyable and CORE part of a relationship, that without it (for me) the rest of it would feel hollow.

vainandy said:

Sounds like Thelma Harper on "Mama's Family"....

Ellen: Mama, how would you like it if daddy was seeing another woman?

Thelma: Like it? Hell, I would have given him bus fare!

I've noticed a lot of women from the older generation feel this way. My grandmother and two of her sisters (my great aunts) all had separate bedrooms from their husbands. They had a bedroom and their husbands had a bedroom across the hall. Hell, my grandfather's bedroom was on the complete other end of the house. Another one of my great aunts slept in the same bed with her husband. She was the only one of the sisters that didn't have separate bedrooms and her husband was a minister of all things. I used to think she and her husband were the oddballs of the bunch because I just had never been around old people that even slept in the same bed together so you know they weren't having sex.

They probably sneak into each others rooms at night though As soon as one of the kids move out I want my own room and my own bed and it's got nothing to do with sex and everything to do with a nice quiet haven that's clean and tidy without his crap in it

ZombieKitten said:

vainandy said:

Sounds like Thelma Harper on "Mama's Family"....

Ellen: Mama, how would you like it if daddy was seeing another woman?

Thelma: Like it? Hell, I would have given him bus fare!

I've noticed a lot of women from the older generation feel this way. My grandmother and two of her sisters (my great aunts) all had separate bedrooms from their husbands. They had a bedroom and their husbands had a bedroom across the hall. Hell, my grandfather's bedroom was on the complete other end of the house. Another one of my great aunts slept in the same bed with her husband. She was the only one of the sisters that didn't have separate bedrooms and her husband was a minister of all things. I used to think she and her husband were the oddballs of the bunch because I just had never been around old people that even slept in the same bed together so you know they weren't having sex.

They probably sneak into each others rooms at night though As soon as one of the kids move out I want my own room and my own bed and it's got nothing to do with sex and everything to do with a nice quiet haven that's clean and tidy without his crap in it

My grandmother was a neat freak. But then again, no room in the house was going to be messy because she was going to clean it up and bitch about it if you messed it up. My uncle was, and still is, the biggest slob I've ever met and that's because he never had to clean up after himself when she was alive.

I stayed with my grandmother every weekend, every summer, and every holiday vacation. In other words, if school was out, I was at her house. She was my second mother and I had my own room over at her house which was right across the hall from her room. I do remember late one night though, I heard her holler....."Aaaaaah!!!! You get out of here you old goat!".....and then I heard my grandfather cuss at her and go back down the hall to the other end of the house to his room. I asked her what happened the next morning and she said that he got up in the middle of the night to go to the restroom and wandered into her room in the dark by mistake. I thought it was strange though considering that his room was on the complete other end of the house and he had a bathroom in his bedroom. I was young though and couldn't put two and two together yet.

ZombieKitten said:

WTF!

This is what a friend of mine told me. It made me VERY sad.

This thread is about the female libido. I know we have a ton of hornbags on here (myself included ) who just can't get enough, but if what the married guys on here are all complaining about is true, then their wives hardly ever put out, and horny orgladies are more exceptions than the rule.

What is up with that?

I think its true and false both ways. I've known couples who don't have sex after a few months and I've known some who have been married for 20 years and would still run to the bathroom for a quickie whenever they got a chance.

vainandy said:

ZombieKitten said:

They probably sneak into each others rooms at night though As soon as one of the kids move out I want my own room and my own bed and it's got nothing to do with sex and everything to do with a nice quiet haven that's clean and tidy without his crap in it

My grandmother was a neat freak. But then again, no room in the house was going to be messy because she was going to clean it up and bitch about it if you messed it up. My uncle was, and still is, the biggest slob I've ever met and that's because he never had to clean up after himself when she was alive.

I stayed with my grandmother every weekend, every summer, and every holiday vacation. In other words, if school was out, I was at her house. She was my second mother and I had my own room over at her house which was right across the hall from her room. I do remember late one night though, I heard her holler....."Aaaaaah!!!! You get out of here you old goat!".....and then I heard my grandfather cuss at her and go back down the hall to the other end of the house to his room. I asked her what happened the next morning and she said that he got up in the middle of the night to go to the restroom and wandered into her room in the dark by mistake. I thought it was strange though considering that his room was on the complete other end of the house and he had a bathroom in his bedroom. I was young though and couldn't put two and two together yet.

you were probably young enough to accept the story that an actual real GOAT wandered into the house and into her room

Cerebus said:

ZombieKitten said:

WTF!

This is what a friend of mine told me. It made me VERY sad.

This thread is about the female libido. I know we have a ton of hornbags on here (myself included ) who just can't get enough, but if what the married guys on here are all complaining about is true, then their wives hardly ever put out, and horny orgladies are more exceptions than the rule.

What is up with that?

I think its true and false both ways. I've known couples who don't have sex after a few months and I've known some who have been married for 20 years and would still run to the bathroom for a quickie whenever they got a chance.

of course the exceptions are always exceptional

I am about to google to try and find the article I read about female libido

I just found this on the search page, a book called "Why Women Have Sex" According to psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss, there are 237 reasons why women have sex -- and love isn't at the top of the list.