Cerebus said:

ZombieKitten said:

Well there's no saying exactly what would happen. Each case is different and all that. I've only known a few women who have gone through menopause and they were all very happy once it was over. But they all went through it naturally and I suppose that makes a difference.

Not really. The only difference is the age at which it happens - and how abrupt the onset is. Some women sail through it any age (bitches ), others have more trouble.

I'm seeing a lot of women go through a difficult time. And with both my mom and grandmother having had hot flashes for years, I'm not taking any chances. I'm getting it handled.

Genesia said:

Cerebus said:

Well there's no saying exactly what would happen. Each case is different and all that. I've only known a few women who have gone through menopause and they were all very happy once it was over. But they all went through it naturally and I suppose that makes a difference.

Not really. The only difference is the age at which it happens - and how abrupt the onset is. Some women sail through it any age (bitches ), others have more trouble.

I'm seeing a lot of women go through a difficult time. And with both my mom and grandmother having had hot flashes for years, I'm not taking any chances. I'm getting it handled.

I want to do that too, I've seen my mum suffering for too long.

ZombieKitten said:

Genesia said:

HRT isn't necessarily bad. But, like any medical treatment, it can be improperly administered.

For example, giving women hormones derived from the urine of pregnant mares (Premarin), which are not the kind of hormones they make naturally, is bad.

Not properly assessing a woman's risk factors for breast cancer before giving her estrogen is bad.

Starting women on non-bioidentical estrogen after they're well into menopause and have developed heart disease is bad. (Those are the women who suffered heart attacks and strokes from HRT.)

do you remember the time I mean though?

the day it was announced in the news that HRT significantly increased the risk of breast cancer and women all over panicked. In my mum's case she'd been taking it kind of beyond the age where her menopause might have started and it was time to be weaned off it.

I do remember. What I'm saying is that all that hoopla was based on a study in which a lot of women were started on HRT long after they should have been. Giving estrogen (especially) can cause tumors to grow faster and can cause women who have heart disease to throw blood clots.

The key is to give the right kinds of hormones (bio-identical), in as small a dose as a woman can manage on, and to start them before menopause and administer them for a long time (at least 10 years).

ZombieKitten said:

Genesia said:

Not really. The only difference is the age at which it happens - and how abrupt the onset is. Some women sail through it any age (bitches ), others have more trouble.

I'm seeing a lot of women go through a difficult time. And with both my mom and grandmother having had hot flashes for years, I'm not taking any chances. I'm getting it handled.

I want to do that too, I've seen my mum suffering for too long.

You might want to explore it sooner rather than later. It could also be the solution to your bleeding issues. Progesterone can definitely lighten up your period.

Genesia said:

ZombieKitten said:

do you remember the time I mean though?

the day it was announced in the news that HRT significantly increased the risk of breast cancer and women all over panicked. In my mum's case she'd been taking it kind of beyond the age where her menopause might have started and it was time to be weaned off it.

I do remember. What I'm saying is that all that hoopla was based on a study in which a lot of women were started on HRT long after they should have been. Giving estrogen (especially) can cause tumors to grow faster and can cause women who have heart disease to throw blood clots.

The key is to give the right kinds of hormones (bio-identical), in as small a dose as a woman can manage on, and to start them before menopause and administer them for a long time (at least 10 years).

Of course, I realised the headline was a statement taken out of context by the media

To me, sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, cause I can't be fuckin' 24/7. I got other shit to do, lol! I prefer to establish an emotional/spiritual connection first and then worry about the physical stuff later, as I'm sure many others like to do. I don't know about your friend and her husband (as you stated, we don't necessarily know his side of the story), but if that's the kind of deal they have, good for them. Different strokes for different folks, isn't it?

ZombieKitten said:

Genesia said:

I do remember. What I'm saying is that all that hoopla was based on a study in which a lot of women were started on HRT long after they should have been. Giving estrogen (especially) can cause tumors to grow faster and can cause women who have heart disease to throw blood clots.

The key is to give the right kinds of hormones (bio-identical), in as small a dose as a woman can manage on, and to start them before menopause and administer them for a long time (at least 10 years).

Of course, I realised the headline was a statement taken out of context by the media

No way! That never happens!

Not wanting your husband to pester you for sex is definaitely below having a good sexual relationship but it is unfortunately above being pestered for sex by someone who you are unfortunately stuck with... which is a hell of a lot better than being alone... sometimes... etc ...

Genesia said:

ZombieKitten said:

Of course, I realised the headline was a statement taken out of context by the media

No way! That never happens!

I read the headline "men need hugs more than women" last month

the REAL eye opener in that article was that for happiness in long term relationships women lean towards sexual satisfaction not that I didn't know that, but if I listen to all the guys lament about how they never get any, it makes me wonder

“There are so many popular stereotypes, caricatures and jokes about women and sex, but this study is saying that, for the average couple, sex is important and maybe it’s even a tad more important for female partners,” said study co-author Dr. Raymond Rosen of New England Research Institutes.

I suppose "men need hugs" is more sensational than women need GOOD QUALITY SEX

In a relationship with a woman who really wants it, one who has a serious sex drive, I think it is more important for them. For men, maybe, sex is just, ya know, sex. We like to have it, some of us like to have it a lot, but maybe it isn't so much of a "need", just a want, because sex is fun and feels damn good. ...if that makes any sense. I don't think I'm saying anything that hasn't been said before, and probably better.

However, I can tell you without the slightest bit of doubt that I would much rather have a good session than get flippin' hug.

For me it's about trust.

Most of my boyfriends have been utterly and completely stupid and cannot be trusted with anything.

Thank God that is over.

Unfortunately, so was I... and bored as hell... which is why we dated and yes, drinking was often involved.

I think it's just instinct. I just *SO* did *NOT* want to be stuck with them and did not want to be knocked up with their semen. This of course being near the end of the relationship when I wanted nothing to do with them but wasn't quite ready for them to go away because they had grown on me and I was bored.

...and then there are some people who are just complacent and both have accepted it... to salvage the friendship because the friendship is better than nothing. Unfortunately some couples just cannot remain sexually active. Everyone is afraid of it, I think... but it happens to more people than just those who choose it.

[Edited 7/27/11 20:59pm]

dJJ said:

ZombieKitten said:

Serious said: Me too if I don't feel desired, I'm not happy

Yep. The key to continuous good sex.

If it's allways just about his dick, I think he better just go to a club and pay for it to get his needs met. If I'm not cherished physically, I loose interest.

dJJ and Zombie: Give me an example (or ten) of what your man does specifically that makes you feel desirable or "cherished physically".

Spanky said:

dJJ said:

Yep. The key to continuous good sex.

If it's allways just about his dick, I think he better just go to a club and pay for it to get his needs met. If I'm not cherished physically, I loose interest.

dJJ and Zombie: Give me an example (or ten) of what your man does specifically that makes you feel desirable or "cherished physically".

I will try!!!!

Just now, he called me just to tell me he loves me (he is worried about me because I've been going through some health issues)

A major one that has happened, is that he is quitting his full time job so he can help me raise OUR kids - I reached breaking point 3 weeks ago (long story many orgers know )

He grabs my ass when he hugs me

He lets me catch him staring when I get undressed

He sits on the couch and pats the seat next to him and sends the kids to another room

He trims his bush regularly

He says WOW when I wear a tight shirt

He told me he is proud of me when he saw the pdf of my portfolio that I was sending a new client

He always asks for my opinion and considers what I think when he needs to make a decisions (can't do it without you! he says)

He says "HOT!!!" to my photos on facebook

You will notice some of these things are not about sex or naughtiness. When I feel that warm glow inside me because of something kind and thoughtful he does, I WANT him. (I know that he always wants me, he told me that) when I feel important and appreciated in our partnership, I WANT him.

I've had 11 years to get more used to motherhood, and it's taken my husband just as long to realise I can't do it ALL.

There is something else but I'd have to orgnote you this, you will be flabbergasted.

Spanky said:

dJJ said:

Yep. The key to continuous good sex.

If it's allways just about his dick, I think he better just go to a club and pay for it to get his needs met. If I'm not cherished physically, I loose interest.

dJJ and Zombie: Give me an example (or ten) of what your man does specifically that makes you feel desirable or "cherished physically".

- Touching me whenever he can. Showing that he thinks I'm sexy

- Telling me I'm sexy/hot/turn on (when it's not genuine, don't say it. That's a major turn off)

- Enjoying kissing/licking/cherishing my body. It's hunger for touching that can't be faked, it's a look in your eyes and about the soft/intense way hands touch.

- Foreplay, building up tension, longing and desire by caressing, massage, play with the right music/food/atmosphere.

- Concerned about my joy and pleasure during sex, not just busy with attaining his own orgasm.

- Sometimes giving me pleasure, without him getting an orgasm (and vice versa).

- Opening up during conversations, trusting me enough to be vulnerable (vice versa).

- Consult together when it comes to planning/decisions and take into account both our needs. This for little things (what's for diner and what shall we do with our lives next 5 years?).

- listen without interpretation from yourself. Truly listen.

ZombieKitten said:

jaimestarr79 said:

I've never heard a man say " damn my wife wants it all the time". I do think a lot of women use the bait and switch technique to find a man. Women often times screw their man's brains out while they are dating and cut off the sex soon after marriage....Very sad...but it happens all the time. Your friend is probably a bait and switcher

see I don't even believe in that

I think in the beginning when a guy is "new" her juices run. It's just the novelty might wear off faster in some somen.

Well, perhaps for some woman...but lets face it - many women are simply not interested in sex...for whatever reason. How many women look at sex as a chore or just a wifely duty to keep their man?

However, they know that to snag a husband they need to be as attractive as possible and letting them have it whenever they want is one of their best tactics.

If you're reading this and are all like, "well, I'm not that type of woman", awesome...but I can tell you that from experiences with my female friends (who fully admit this) and my male friends (who complain about this) this shit is totally common.

JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:

see I don't even believe in that

I think in the beginning when a guy is "new" her juices run. It's just the novelty might wear off faster in some somen.

Well, perhaps for some woman...but lets face it - many women are simply not interested in sex...for whatever reason. How many women look at sex as a chore or just a wifely duty to keep their man?

However, they know that to snag a husband they need to be as attractive as possible and letting them have it whenever they want is one of their best tactics.

If you're reading this and are all like, "well, I'm not that type of woman", awesome...but I can tell you that from experiences with my female friends (who fully admit this) and my male friends (who complain about this) this shit is totally common.

All that.

ZombieKitten said:

Spanky said:

dJJ and Zombie: Give me an example (or ten) of what your man does specifically that makes you feel desirable or "cherished physically".

I will try!!!!

Just now, he called me just to tell me he loves me (he is worried about me because I've been going through some health issues)

A major one that has happened, is that he is quitting his full time job so he can help me raise OUR kids - I reached breaking point 3 weeks ago (long story many orgers know )

He grabs my ass when he hugs me

He lets me catch him staring when I get undressed

He sits on the couch and pats the seat next to him and sends the kids to another room

He trims his bush regularly

He says WOW when I wear a tight shirt

He told me he is proud of me when he saw the pdf of my portfolio that I was sending a new client

He always asks for my opinion and considers what I think when he needs to make a decisions (can't do it without you! he says)

He says "HOT!!!" to my photos on facebook

You will notice some of these things are not about sex or naughtiness. When I feel that warm glow inside me because of something kind and thoughtful he does, I WANT him. (I know that he always wants me, he told me that) when I feel important and appreciated in our partnership, I WANT him.

I've had 11 years to get more used to motherhood, and it's taken my husband just as long to realise I can't do it ALL.

There is something else but I'd have to orgnote you this, you will be flabbergasted.

ADORABLE!

JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:

see I don't even believe in that

I think in the beginning when a guy is "new" her juices run. It's just the novelty might wear off faster in some somen.

Well, perhaps for some woman...but lets face it - many women are simply not interested in sex...for whatever reason. How many women look at sex as a chore or just a wifely duty to keep their man?

However, they know that to snag a husband they need to be as attractive as possible and letting them have it whenever they want is one of their best tactics.

If you're reading this and are all like, "well, I'm not that type of woman", awesome...but I can tell you that from experiences with my female friends (who fully admit this) and my male friends (who complain about this) this shit is totally common.

that's HORRIBLE

and I don't know how many women, because I'm sure they would never admit it!

HotGritz said:

ZombieKitten said:

I will try!!!!

Just now, he called me just to tell me he loves me (he is worried about me because I've been going through some health issues)

A major one that has happened, is that he is quitting his full time job so he can help me raise OUR kids - I reached breaking point 3 weeks ago (long story many orgers know )

He grabs my ass when he hugs me

He lets me catch him staring when I get undressed

He sits on the couch and pats the seat next to him and sends the kids to another room

He trims his bush regularly

He says WOW when I wear a tight shirt

He told me he is proud of me when he saw the pdf of my portfolio that I was sending a new client

He always asks for my opinion and considers what I think when he needs to make a decisions (can't do it without you! he says)

He says "HOT!!!" to my photos on facebook

You will notice some of these things are not about sex or naughtiness. When I feel that warm glow inside me because of something kind and thoughtful he does, I WANT him. (I know that he always wants me, he told me that) when I feel important and appreciated in our partnership, I WANT him.

I've had 11 years to get more used to motherhood, and it's taken my husband just as long to realise I can't do it ALL.

There is something else but I'd have to orgnote you this, you will be flabbergasted.

ADORABLE!

damn he sounds good on paper

ZombieKitten said:

HotGritz said:

ADORABLE!

damn he sounds good on paper

Methinks you looooove that guy.

Cerebus said:

ZombieKitten said:

damn he sounds good on paper

Methinks you looooove that guy.

you don't have idea how hard this was! My list of grievances is OUT THE DOOR!!!!

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

Methinks you looooove that guy.

you don't have idea how hard this was! My list of grievances is OUT THE DOOR!!!!

Well don't be goin' and turnin' the thread all around now.

Cerebus said:

ZombieKitten said:

you don't have idea how hard this was! My list of grievances is OUT THE DOOR!!!!

Well don't be goin' and turnin' the thread all around now.

don't worry, I'll be pestering him for sex all weekend!

ZombieKitten said:

JustErin said:

Well, perhaps for some woman...but lets face it - many women are simply not interested in sex...for whatever reason. How many women look at sex as a chore or just a wifely duty to keep their man?

However, they know that to snag a husband they need to be as attractive as possible and letting them have it whenever they want is one of their best tactics.

If you're reading this and are all like, "well, I'm not that type of woman", awesome...but I can tell you that from experiences with my female friends (who fully admit this) and my male friends (who complain about this) this shit is totally common.

that's HORRIBLE

and I don't know how many women, because I'm sure they would never admit it!

Oh no, they totally admit it....like they think all women are like that and it's totally normal and acceptable.

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

Well don't be goin' and turnin' the thread all around now.

don't worry, I'll be pestering him for sex all weekend!

Let him hold the camera! I mean... uhh... cool!

JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:

that's HORRIBLE

and I don't know how many women, because I'm sure they would never admit it!

Oh no, they totally admit it....like they think all women are like that and it's totally normal and acceptable.

ugh

nobody tells me about their sex life, and it's a good thing too

JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:

that's HORRIBLE

and I don't know how many women, because I'm sure they would never admit it!

Oh no, they totally admit it....like they think all women are like that and it's totally normal and acceptable.

Sex as a weapon. The concept is as old as sex itself.

Cerebus said:

JustErin said:

Oh no, they totally admit it....like they think all women are like that and it's totally normal and acceptable.

Sex as a weapon. The concept is as old as sex itself.

Exactly.

Cerebus said:

JustErin said:

Oh no, they totally admit it....like they think all women are like that and it's totally normal and acceptable.

Sex as a weapon. The concept is as old as sex itself.

so how can guys tell if their lady really likes sexytime?

WHY don't women like sex?????

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

Sex as a weapon. The concept is as old as sex itself.

so how can guys tell if their lady really likes sexytime?

WHY don't women like sex?????

If she takes in the ass....odds are she's into sex.

Just kidding...I haven't a clue. People tend to be fake asses in general when looking for a mate.

And I dunno why women don't like sex. Upbringing? Not familiar with their own body? I dunno...

[Edited 7/28/11 19:22pm]