jaimestarr79 said:

ZombieKitten said:

WTF!

This is what a friend of mine told me. It made me VERY sad.

This thread is about the female libido. I know we have a ton of hornbags on here (myself included ) who just can't get enough, but if what the married guys on here are all complaining about is true, then their wives hardly ever put out, and horny orgladies are more exceptions than the rule.

What is up with that?

I've never heard a man say " damn my wife wants it all the time". I do think a lot of women use the bait and switch technique to find a man. Women often times screw their man's brains out while they are dating and cut off the sex soon after marriage....Very sad...but it happens all the time. Your friend is probably a bait and switcher

see I don't even believe in that

I think in the beginning when a guy is "new" her juices run. It's just the novelty might wear off faster in some somen.

sextonseven said:

ZombieKitten said:

I would add as long as THEY are happy. I don't know his side of the story! I hope he isn't like spanky and just got to the point where he realized not trying anymore is better than constant rejection!

Or maybe, as the first reply pointed out, the husband is getting it somewhere else. Late 50s (as you suspected is his age) doesn't mean his sex drive is completely gone. If your friend is happy knowing her husband is seeing another woman for sex so she's not bothered anymore, then give her the high five.

maybe he is seeing a blind woman

30peacessilver said:

ZombieKitten said:

WTF!

This is what a friend of mine told me. It made me VERY sad.

This thread is about the female libido. I know we have a ton of hornbags on here (myself included ) who just can't get enough, but if what the married guys on here are all complaining about is true, then their wives hardly ever put out, and horny orgladies are more exceptions than the rule.

What is up with that?

she may not be getting her sexual needs met. there are women in their 50s that have never had an orgasm!? many women dont share what they want and like in bed. that confuses me. i feel bad for both of them. not a healthy relationship. as a friend buy her a vibrator tell her to get her engine started. but im one of those horny orgers. the more im satisfied the more i want personnaly

I'm not THAT close a friend

I think you might be on to something in your first point if you never get off, sex would be totally boring!

ZombieKitten said:

WTF!

This is what a friend of mine told me. It made me VERY sad.

This thread is about the female libido. I know we have a ton of hornbags on here (myself included ) who just can't get enough, but if what the married guys on here are all complaining about is true, then their wives hardly ever put out, and horny orgladies are more exceptions than the rule.

What is up with that?

maybe she has pelvic prolapse. just learned about that. ya veejayjay falls out and hangs there..possibly a result of having too many babies or just getting old. low libido could be the cause but she can take hormones for that - easy fix.

HotGritz said:

ZombieKitten said:

WTF!

This is what a friend of mine told me. It made me VERY sad.

This thread is about the female libido. I know we have a ton of hornbags on here (myself included ) who just can't get enough, but if what the married guys on here are all complaining about is true, then their wives hardly ever put out, and horny orgladies are more exceptions than the rule.

What is up with that?

maybe she has pelvic prolapse. just learned about that. ya veejayjay falls out and hangs there..possibly a result of having too many babies or just getting old. low libido could be the cause but she can take hormones for that - easy fix.

she did tell me for years she had recurrent thrush (and NO medications would get rid of it until she started with pro-biotics) and back then he WAS pestering her for sex but it was painful - raw and inflamed. She screamed at him, forced him to look at her vulva "YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THIS???????" he probably never asked her ever ever again

I knew you were a freak Zombie. lol

2freaky4church1 said:

I knew you were a freak Zombie. lol

I have made an ex cry because according to him I was pawing at him for sex too much

Well, I guess some women like sex all the time and some aren't really into it. I know at least two woman who said sex was not exactly the most pleasurable experience for them and prefer to go without.

As for me, it depends on how I'm feeling and the time of month. If I'm stressed, or overworked, I'm really not thinking about sex, nor do I really have the drive for it. Then again, there are times lust is so blinding that I can't sleep at night. Thankfully, that only lasts about 3-4 days a month.

Normally though, I think I have a rather healthy libido for a girl my age who's single. If I was in a relationship, things would be different. But hey, I ain't complainin'

ZombieKitten said:

HotGritz said:

maybe she has pelvic prolapse. just learned about that. ya veejayjay falls out and hangs there..possibly a result of having too many babies or just getting old. low libido could be the cause but she can take hormones for that - easy fix.

she did tell me for years she had recurrent thrush (and NO medications would get rid of it until she started with pro-biotics) and back then he WAS pestering her for sex but it was painful - raw and inflamed. She screamed at him, forced him to look at her vulva "YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THIS???????" he probably never asked her ever ever again

I MEAN Poor thing.

My doc wants to give me an IUD - one of the side effects is lowered libido

I have to choose from:

Mirena IUD

NovaSure

hysterectomy

great

HotGritz said:

ZombieKitten said:

WTF!

This is what a friend of mine told me. It made me VERY sad.

This thread is about the female libido. I know we have a ton of hornbags on here (myself included ) who just can't get enough, but if what the married guys on here are all complaining about is true, then their wives hardly ever put out, and horny orgladies are more exceptions than the rule.

What is up with that?

maybe she has pelvic prolapse. just learned about that. ya veejayjay falls out and hangs there..possibly a result of having too many babies or just getting old. low libido could be the cause but she can take hormones for that - easy fix.

No, hormones aren't an "easy fix." How do I know? Because I am currently working with my doctor to develop a bio-identical hormone regimen for myself.

To start with, it took me five years to find a doctor who had any experience with bio-identical hormones - and who was willing to work with me on this. A lot of doctors have been scared off by all the problems with hormone replacements like Premarin and Prempro - which were one-size-fits-all and not really appropriate for most women.

For the last year, I've been seeing my doctor every three months while we tinker with my progesterone. The amount I need changes constantly, as my own hormone levels fall. I have permission from my doctor to play with the dosage - more if my sleep is bad, I start waking up with palpitations, or I'm feeling "on edge," less if I'm doing better. I'm also varying the dosage based on where I am in my cycle - which is sort of a guess, at this point, because I have one burned out ovary and thus, a 50 to 60-day cycle that is actually two cycles.

And I haven't even started with estrogen yet. That'll be a whole 'nother issue.

My libido is pretty good, but as you get older, sex becomes less comfortable. I won't belabor the point, but trust me - you can spend a small fortune on lube.

Personally, I wouldn't want to let it go - but I can totally understand why some women might.

ZombieKitten said:

My doc wants to give me an IUD - one of the side effects is lowered libido

I have to choose from:

Mirena IUD

NovaSure

hysterectomy

great

Why does he want you to have an IUD? Can you do something like Norplant (not sure if that's like novasure)? Are BC pills out of the question? What about tubal ligation? Don't let them fuck your sex drive up zombie....:thumbsdown:

Genesia said:

to develop a bio-identical hormone regimen

I know you're having a hard time with all this so I don't want you to think I'm making light of the situation, because I'm not. But those words right there sound pretty cool to a sci-fi geek like me.

HotGritz said:

ZombieKitten said:

My doc wants to give me an IUD - one of the side effects is lowered libido

I have to choose from:

Mirena IUD

NovaSure

hysterectomy

great

Why does he want you to have an IUD? Can you do something like Norplant (not sure if that's like novasure)? Are BC pills out of the question? What about tubal ligation? Don't let them fuck your sex drive up zombie....:thumbsdown:

She

it's not for birth control it's because I'm bleeding too much, and my iron levels get dangerously low

Cerebus said:

Genesia said:

to develop a bio-identical hormone regimen

I know you're having a hard time with all this so I don't want you to think I'm making light of the situation, because I'm not. But those words right there sound pretty cool to a sci-fi geek like me.

she needs a Q39 intergalactic space modulator

This thread is very interesting.

I was going to ask why you didn't just go with the hysterectomy, but then I went and read up on the possible side affects and I think I answered my own question.

Cerebus said:

Genesia said:

to develop a bio-identical hormone regimen

I know you're having a hard time with all this so I don't want you to think I'm making light of the situation, because I'm not. But those words right there sound pretty cool to a sci-fi geek like me.

Thanks. It is pretty cool, actually - if occasionally frustrating. I'm very lucky to have found a Harvard-educated, female doctor who's dealt with this in her own life. (She underwent surgical menopause after her hysterectomy.) She's very relaxed and gives me credit for being relatively intelligent - which helps a lot. (I've had a lot of doctors and physician's assistants treat me like an idiot - you know how I react to that.)

On the geek front, you know that, someday, they'll have a hypospray that can fix this in one shot.

Cerebus said:

This thread is very interesting.

I was going to ask why you didn't just go with the hysterectomy, but then I went and read up on the possible side affects and I think I answered my own question.

thank you!

I know, it seems simplest. However it's major surgery (the most invasive of the 3) and although I have yet to read about the side effects myself, all the docs say that is a last resort.

My friend (the star of this thread) said her sister had the same problem as me, agreed to a hysterectomy and is now suffering through early menopause

[Edited 7/27/11 17:06pm]

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

I know you're having a hard time with all this so I don't want you to think I'm making light of the situation, because I'm not. But those words right there sound pretty cool to a sci-fi geek like me.

she needs a Q39 intergalactic space modulator

*cough* or the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.

I love Marvin.

"The Earth? The Earth will be gone in just a few seconds."

ZombieKitten said:

HotGritz said:

Why does he want you to have an IUD? Can you do something like Norplant (not sure if that's like novasure)? Are BC pills out of the question? What about tubal ligation? Don't let them fuck your sex drive up zombie....:thumbsdown:

She

it's not for birth control it's because I'm bleeding too much, and my iron levels get dangerously low

Oh ok. And no tumors right? Definitely have to get those iron levels back within range for your overall health. You should do some online research to make sure there are no other options to consider. You probably did already.

Perhaps the low libido side effect is not common. Maybe you will be one of the lucky ones.

HotGritz said:

ZombieKitten said:

She

it's not for birth control it's because I'm bleeding too much, and my iron levels get dangerously low

Oh ok. And no tumors right? Definitely have to get those iron levels back within range for your overall health. You should do some online research to make sure there are no other options to consider. You probably did already.

Perhaps the low libido side effect is not common. Maybe you will be one of the lucky ones.

I can only hope. tablets have my iron back up, but you can't take tablets forever according to the doc.

The thing is I have already reacted badly to several other hormonal BC weight gain, moodiness, depression, low sex drive, HUGE tender breasts I would die if my boobs got bigger!

Pelvic ultrasounds show now growths, no cysts etc, but my endometrial lining is too thick, so that's something they need to watch as it's a precursor to uterine cancer

I'm researching non-stop

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

This thread is very interesting.

I was going to ask why you didn't just go with the hysterectomy, but then I went and read up on the possible side affects and I think I answered my own question.

thank you!

I know, it seems simplest. However it's major surgery (the most invasive of the 3) and although I have yet to read about the side effects myself, all the docs say that is a last resort.

My friend (the star of this thread) said her sister had the same problem as me, agreed to a hysterectomy and is now suffering through early menopause

Early menopause is one of the possible listed side effects.

I actually found the Wiki pretty interesting, although it includes a lot of information related to removing other parts and pieces as well. And the possible side effects are different depending on how much you're having taken out.

Hysterectomy Wiki - warni...y pictures

Cerebus said:

ZombieKitten said:

thank you!

I know, it seems simplest. However it's major surgery (the most invasive of the 3) and although I have yet to read about the side effects myself, all the docs say that is a last resort.

My friend (the star of this thread) said her sister had the same problem as me, agreed to a hysterectomy and is now suffering through early menopause

Early menopause is one of the possible listed side effects.

I actually found the Wiki pretty interesting, although it includes a lot of information related to removing other parts and pieces as well. And the possible side effects are different depending on how much you're having taken out.

Hysterectomy Wiki - warni...y pictures

The average onset age of menopause in those who underwent hysterectomy is 3.7 years earlier than average even when the ovaries are preserved.^[31] This has been suggested to be due to the disruption of blood supply to the ovaries after a hysterectomy or due to missing endocrine feedback of the uterus. The function of the remaining ovaries is significantly affected in about 40% women, some of them even require hormone replacement treatment. Surprisingly, a similar and only slightly weaker effect has been also observed for endometrial ablation which is often considered as an alternative to hysterectomy.

I'm only 40!!!

Genesia said:

Cerebus said:

I know you're having a hard time with all this so I don't want you to think I'm making light of the situation, because I'm not. But those words right there sound pretty cool to a sci-fi geek like me.

Thanks. It is pretty cool, actually - if occasionally frustrating. I'm very lucky to have found a Harvard-educated, female doctor who's dealt with this in her own life. (She underwent surgical menopause after her hysterectomy.) She's very relaxed and gives me credit for being relatively intelligent - which helps a lot. (I've had a lot of doctors and physician's assistants treat me like an idiot - you know how I react to that.)

On the geek front, you know that, someday, they'll have a hypospray that can fix this in one shot.

Woot! Yeah, and the doctor would just scan you to find out what's wrong. I wish I believed we were going to make it that long as a species, though. Sadly, I don't.

Yes, I do know how you react to that. Honestly, I've had the same problem with doctors and that's why mine is female. I also try to find female specialists if I need one (my doctor knows this now, too, which makes it a little easier). Over the years I've found them to be much easier to talk to. Even if they just say, "no, this is actually what's happening", or "this is what would be best", at least they LISTEN first.

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

The average onset age of menopause in those who underwent hysterectomy is 3.7 years earlier than average even when the ovaries are preserved.^[31] This has been suggested to be due to the disruption of blood supply to the ovaries after a hysterectomy or due to missing endocrine feedback of the uterus. The function of the remaining ovaries is significantly affected in about 40% women, some of them even require hormone replacement treatment. Surprisingly, a similar and only slightly weaker effect has been also observed for endometrial ablation which is often considered as an alternative to hysterectomy.

I'm only 40!!!

Well there's no saying exactly what would happen. Each case is different and all that. I've only known a few women who have gone through menopause and they were all very happy once it was over. But they all went through it naturally and I suppose that makes a difference.

Cerebus said:

ZombieKitten said:

Well there's no saying exactly what would happen. Each case is different and all that. I've only known a few women who have gone through menopause and they were all very happy once it was over. But they all went through it naturally and I suppose that makes a difference.

my mum had a hysterectomy at age 35 because she had uterine fibroids that haemorrhaged one day she was on HRT until they announced HRT was BAD.

I can do more or less, within reason. Thankfully the woman I've been with now for 10 years has a similar libido to mine so it works well. The quote in the OP is a little sad, to me. I think sex is important in a relationship. It's a pretty cool feeling to have my wife pester me for sex.

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

Well there's no saying exactly what would happen. Each case is different and all that. I've only known a few women who have gone through menopause and they were all very happy once it was over. But they all went through it naturally and I suppose that makes a difference.

my mum had a hysterectomy at age 35 because she had uterine fibroids that haemorrhaged one day she was on HRT until they announced HRT was BAD.

HRT isn't necessarily bad. But, like any medical treatment, it can be improperly administered.

For example, giving women hormones derived from the urine of pregnant mares (Premarin), which are not the kind of hormones they make naturally, is bad.

Not properly assessing a woman's risk factors for breast cancer before giving her estrogen is bad.

Starting women on non-bioidentical estrogen after they're well into menopause and have developed heart disease is bad. (Those are the women who suffered heart attacks and strokes from HRT.)

Genesia said:

ZombieKitten said:

my mum had a hysterectomy at age 35 because she had uterine fibroids that haemorrhaged one day she was on HRT until they announced HRT was BAD.

HRT isn't necessarily bad. But, like any medical treatment, it can be improperly administered.

For example, giving women hormones derived from the urine of pregnant mares (Premarin), which are not the kind of hormones they make naturally, is bad.

Not properly assessing a woman's risk factors for breast cancer before giving her estrogen is bad.

Starting women on non-bioidentical estrogen after they're well into menopause and have developed heart disease is bad. (Those are the women who suffered heart attacks and strokes from HRT.)

do you remember the time I mean though?

the day it was announced in the news that HRT significantly increased the risk of breast cancer and women all over panicked. In my mum's case she'd been taking it kind of beyond the age where her menopause might have started and it was time to be weaned off it.

if this thread were titled "my husband is great, he NEVER pesters me for anal sex", then i'd understand...