http://womenshealth.about...dysfun.htm

not the actual article I read, but the article DID touch on hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD)

There are a LOT of unhappy women out there and a lot of TIRED ones

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

I think its true and false both ways. I've known couples who don't have sex after a few months and I've known some who have been married for 20 years and would still run to the bathroom for a quickie whenever they got a chance.

of course the exceptions are always exceptional

I am about to google to try and find the article I read about female libido

I just found this on the search page, a book called "Why Women Have Sex" According to psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss, there are 237 reasons why women have sex -- and love isn't at the top of the list.

Well, true. OK, so, speaking for myself at almost 40, if I'm with a woman who wants to have sex all the time, great! I'm down. But if I'm with one who wants to have sex once a week, that's fine too, so long as we get along the rest of the time. I don't actually have that inner drive to get laid anymore, even though sex is a pretty damn fabulous thing. So I guess I can understand how your friend would think her husband not pestering her for sex all the time would be a good thing if she felt the same way.

Cerebus said:

ZombieKitten said:

of course the exceptions are always exceptional

I am about to google to try and find the article I read about female libido

I just found this on the search page, a book called "Why Women Have Sex" According to psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss, there are 237 reasons why women have sex -- and love isn't at the top of the list.

Well, true. OK, so, speaking for myself at almost 40, if I'm with a woman who wants to have sex all the time, great! I'm down. But if I'm with one who wants to have sex once a week, that's fine too, so long as we get along the rest of the time. I don't actually have that inner drive to get laid anymore, even though sex is a pretty damn fabulous thing. So I guess I can understand how your friend would think her husband not pestering her for sex all the time would be a good thing if she felt the same way.

as long as they are both OK with it, it's a good thing I suppose.

I don't talk to any of my girlfriends about sex I don't really want to know so it was surprising to me she told me this, and I now feel I DEFINITELY can't tell her about how things are at my house

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

Well, true. OK, so, speaking for myself at almost 40, if I'm with a woman who wants to have sex all the time, great! I'm down. But if I'm with one who wants to have sex once a week, that's fine too, so long as we get along the rest of the time. I don't actually have that inner drive to get laid anymore, even though sex is a pretty damn fabulous thing. So I guess I can understand how your friend would think her husband not pestering her for sex all the time would be a good thing if she felt the same way.

as long as they are both OK with it, it's a good thing I suppose.

I don't talk to any of my girlfriends about sex I don't really want to know so it was surprising to me she told me this, and I now feel I DEFINITELY can't tell her about how things are at my house

Well that's what we're here for, silly!

ZombieKitten said:

vainandy said:

My grandmother was a neat freak. But then again, no room in the house was going to be messy because she was going to clean it up and bitch about it if you messed it up. My uncle was, and still is, the biggest slob I've ever met and that's because he never had to clean up after himself when she was alive.

I stayed with my grandmother every weekend, every summer, and every holiday vacation. In other words, if school was out, I was at her house. She was my second mother and I had my own room over at her house which was right across the hall from her room. I do remember late one night though, I heard her holler....."Aaaaaah!!!! You get out of here you old goat!".....and then I heard my grandfather cuss at her and go back down the hall to the other end of the house to his room. I asked her what happened the next morning and she said that he got up in the middle of the night to go to the restroom and wandered into her room in the dark by mistake. I thought it was strange though considering that his room was on the complete other end of the house and he had a bathroom in his bedroom. I was young though and couldn't put two and two together yet.

you were probably young enough to accept the story that an actual real GOAT wandered into the house and into her room

No, I knew who she was hollering at. She called him an old goat all the time...."Why do you get in there and shave you old goat!"...."Go back down to the other end of house with that stinking cigar you old goat!".....And he would always say...."Ahhhh, shut up you goofy bitch you!"....

If you've ever seen "All In The Family", my grandparents were Archie and Edith. The looked exactly like them, their voices sounded just like them, and they interacted with each other just like them. When I watch that show, I feel like I'm actually watching my grandparents.

Cerebus said:

ZombieKitten said:

as long as they are both OK with it, it's a good thing I suppose.

I don't talk to any of my girlfriends about sex I don't really want to know so it was surprising to me she told me this, and I now feel I DEFINITELY can't tell her about how things are at my house

Well that's what we're here for, silly!

I talk to what is probably a congregation of people with high sex drives here, and forget the real world is kind of… different! I guess too here people can exaggerate about their bravado, knowing we will never see that they never leave the house or talk to people, let alone actually have sex with someone

vainandy said:

ZombieKitten said:

you were probably young enough to accept the story that an actual real GOAT wandered into the house and into her room

No, I knew who she was hollering at. She called him an old goat all the time...."Why do you get in there and shave you old goat!"...."Go back down to the other end of house with that stinking cigar you old goat!".....And he would always say...."Ahhhh, shut up you goofy bitch you!"....

If you've ever seen "All In The Family", my grandparents were Archie and Edith. The looked exactly like them, their voices sounded just like them, and they interacted with each other just like them. When I watch that show, I feel like I'm actually watching my grandparents.

no never have

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

Well that's what we're here for, silly!

I talk to what is probably a congregation of people with high sex drives here, and forget the real world is kind of… different! I guess too here people can exaggerate about their bravado, knowing we will never see that they never leave the house or talk to people, let alone actually have sex with someone

What?! Are you serious!? I would never imagine ANYBODY doing that! I try to be as honest as possible about such things, even if it makes me appear uninteresting to some. I had a lot of good years (great ones, even), but now I'm just not really worried about it anymore. I have friends and I go out, but most of them are just friends (in whom I have no sexual interest or have already tested those waters) or they're married (and Cerebus is not going there again ). If I meet someone who I want to spend time with, then we can move on to the sex. But the sex doesn't come first anymore. I think I did a pretty good bit of learnin' during those "good years", though.

Cerebus said:

ZombieKitten said:

I talk to what is probably a congregation of people with high sex drives here, and forget the real world is kind of… different! I guess too here people can exaggerate about their bravado, knowing we will never see that they never leave the house or talk to people, let alone actually have sex with someone

What?! Are you serious!? I would never imagine ANYBODY doing that! I try to be as honest as possible about such things, even if it makes me appear uninteresting to some. I had a lot of good years (great ones, even), but now I'm just not really worried about it anymore. I have friends and I go out, but most of them are just friends (in whom I have no sexual interest or have already tested those waters) or they're married (and Cerebus is not going there again ). If I meet someone who I want to spend time with, then we can move on to the sex. But the sex doesn't come first anymore. I think I did a pretty good bit of learnin' during those "good years", though.

really? you don't think people sometimes say a bunch of bullshit on here to make themselves look like studs?

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

What?! Are you serious!? I would never imagine ANYBODY doing that! I try to be as honest as possible about such things, even if it makes me appear uninteresting to some. I had a lot of good years (great ones, even), but now I'm just not really worried about it anymore. I have friends and I go out, but most of them are just friends (in whom I have no sexual interest or have already tested those waters) or they're married (and Cerebus is not going there again ). If I meet someone who I want to spend time with, then we can move on to the sex. But the sex doesn't come first anymore. I think I did a pretty good bit of learnin' during those "good years", though.

really? you don't think people sometimes say a bunch of bullshit on here to make themselves look like studs?

No way! Nobody would EVER do that.

Cerebus said:

ZombieKitten said:

really? you don't think people sometimes say a bunch of bullshit on here to make themselves look like studs?

No way! Nobody would EVER do that.

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

No way! Nobody would EVER do that.

Ay yo! Why youa puncha my eye?! What I do? Methinks you took my humor the wrong way... or maybe you didn't. Maybe you just felt like punching me in the eye.

Cerebus said:

ZombieKitten said:

Ay yo! Why youa puncha my eye?! What I do? Methinks you took my humor the wrong way... or maybe you didn't. Maybe you just felt like punching me in the eye.

I love that smiley

ZombieKitten said:

WTF!

This is what a friend of mine told me. It made me VERY sad.

This thread is about the female libido. I know we have a ton of hornbags on here (myself included ) who just can't get enough, but if what the married guys on here are all complaining about is true, then their wives hardly ever put out, and horny orgladies are more exceptions than the rule.

What is up with that?

Married here. I'll speak not to air dirty laundry (y'all don't know my address anyway!), but to give a POV of a married guy who comes (pardon the pun) up against this all the time. It seems that ever since we had a baby my wife is in fact "tired" 90% of the time I am trying to initiate some loving. On average we do it once a week. But, girls, it HURTS when 9 times out of ten you get the "no", "I'm tired", "not tonight". It hurts so bad that the 10th time you almost don't want to bother to keep from getting shut down. Then when you do get to have some loving you don't last very long because you're pent up. I have gone two weeks once and I felt like I was 18 again because I busted so fast. When I was single and dating I was much better because I had sex (not to toot my own horn) 3-4 times a week so I had lots of practice. The only reason I didn't have it every night was because its a fuck load of work keeping a handful of girls in rotation but that was the game I was playing. Cut to now, I feel like a self centered asshole because I feel like I am always begging and the one time I get it per week I am so excited I don't last long and thus give no incentive to my wife to want more. It's a vicious circle and it sucks. I am no cheater, but it seems like marriage, if this is truly what it turns into for everyone, should include a sexual free pass once a month, or even sex at will with whoever you want because it seems like sex isn't that important to females once they're married anyway. I mean if my wife is "tired" all the time and the one time we make love I feel like I am pressuring her, then why is sex a part of marriage save for procreation? We should be able to fuck whoever we want so we can be sexually satisfied (your friend would be happy right, Zombie Ktten?) and save sexless partnership for marriage. As long as the outside the marriage sex doesn't interfere with the time you spend with your family why not? "The kids are asleep, I'm going to meet my sex partner for a little fun for about an hour. I'll be home by 10." Would my wife tell me she's going to bed while I go out and fuck? No. You bet your ass her pants would be around her ankles in two seconds as she screamed, "No baby! Stay here! I love you!" I'm being facetious obviously about the sex partner outside of marriage thing. But My point is, that is why some men cheat. I personally feel my wife doesn't put as much value on sex as i do and eventually my hurt is going to turn into resentment and by the time it does, it may be too late. And that sucks. God, why did you make man and woman so fucked up?

Spanky said:

ZombieKitten said:

WTF!

This is what a friend of mine told me. It made me VERY sad.

This thread is about the female libido. I know we have a ton of hornbags on here (myself included ) who just can't get enough, but if what the married guys on here are all complaining about is true, then their wives hardly ever put out, and horny orgladies are more exceptions than the rule.

What is up with that?

Married here. I'll speak not to air dirty laundry (y'all don't know my address anyway!), but to give a POV of a married guy who comes (pardon the pun) up against this all the time. It seems that ever since we had a baby my wife is in fact "tired" 90% of the time I am trying to initiate some loving. On average we do it once a week. But, girls, it HURTS when 9 times out of ten you get the "no", "I'm tired", "not tonight". It hurts so bad that the 10th time you almost don't want to bother to keep from getting shut down. Then when you do get to have some loving you don't last very long because you're pent up. I have gone two weeks once and I felt like I was 18 again because I busted so fast. When I was single and dating I was much better because I had sex (not to toot my own horn) 3-4 times a week so I had lots of practice. The only reason I didn't have it every night was because its a fuck load of work keeping a handful of girls in rotation but that was the game I was playing. Cut to now, I feel like a self centered asshole because I feel like I am always begging and the one time I get it per week I am so excited I don't last long and thus give no incentive to my wife to want more. It's a vicious circle and it sucks. I am no cheater, but it seems like marriage, if this is truly what it turns into for everyone, should include a sexual free pass once a month, or even sex at will with whoever you want because it seems like sex isn't that important to females once they're married anyway. I mean if my wife is "tired" all the time and the one time we make love I feel like I am pressuring her, then why is sex a part of marriage save for procreation? We should be able to fuck whoever we want so we can be sexually satisfied (your friend would be happy right, Zombie Ktten?) and save sexless partnership for marriage. As long as the outside the marriage sex doesn't interfere with the time you spend with your family why not? "The kids are asleep, I'm going to meet my sex partner for a little fun for about an hour. I'll be home by 10." Would my wife tell me she's going to bed while I go out and fuck? No. You bet your ass her pants would be around her ankles in two seconds as she screamed, "No baby! Stay here! I love you!" I'm being facetious obviously about the sex partner outside of marriage thing. But My point is, that is why some men cheat. I personally feel my wife doesn't put as much value on sex as i do and eventually my hurt is going to turn into resentment and by the time it does, it may be too late. And that sucks. God, why did you make man and woman so fucked up?

That was very much the situation my boyfriend had in his last relationship and that was one of the reasons why they broke up eventually IMO. Feeling rejected by somebody you love hurts a lot.

For me as a woman it is essential that I feel loved and desired by the man I am with. I feel sorry for the men and women who are in relationships like the one described by the OP.

ZombieKitten said:

Cerebus said:

Well, true. OK, so, speaking for myself at almost 40, if I'm with a woman who wants to have sex all the time, great! I'm down. But if I'm with one who wants to have sex once a week, that's fine too, so long as we get along the rest of the time. I don't actually have that inner drive to get laid anymore, even though sex is a pretty damn fabulous thing. So I guess I can understand how your friend would think her husband not pestering her for sex all the time would be a good thing if she felt the same way.

as long as they are both OK with it, it's a good thing I suppose.

I don't talk to any of my girlfriends about sex I don't really want to know so it was surprising to me she told me this, and I now feel I DEFINITELY can't tell her about how things are at my house

I need to watch what I tell you from now on .

Husbands never pester there wives 4 sex.....There 2 busy pestering other women..(marriage) If u love sex then dont get married...if ur horny then dont get married...

Serious said:

Serious said:

I don't understand that either.

There's got to be something wrong. Maybe he just isn't doing it the way she wants it.

"if you don't fuck the way they want to be fucked, someone else will"

Spanky said:

ZombieKitten said:

armpit said:

Yeah, but if she doesn't want it, isn't asked for it, and that makes her happy, then why does it make you upset?

because SEX IS AWESOME!!!

I don't know about the husband, but maybe he used to pester her for sex and gave up? don't know (don't want to know!) more details.

I do realise sex isn't everything, but it's such an enjoyable and CORE part of a relationship, that without it (for me) the rest of it would feel hollow.

...Yeah, but different strokes for different folks. You love sex and think it's great and awesome, so for you that kind of marriage would be bad; but she's different. The way things are right now, makes her happy. So be happy for her.

armpit said:

ZombieKitten said:

armpit said:

...Yeah, but different strokes for different folks. You love sex and think it's great and awesome, so for you that kind of marriage would be bad; but she's different. The way things are right now, makes her happy. So be happy for her.

I know I haven't said anything to her just nodded sympathetically when she said it.

Why sympathetically though when she's not sad about it at all? Give her a high-five lmao.

armpit said:

ZombieKitten said:

armpit said:

Why sympathetically though when she's not sad about it at all? Give her a high-five lmao.

Omg

I laugh, sure, but I was actually kinda serious. As long as she's happy - and she appears to be - everything is good.

armpit said:

i can't possibly imagine a scenario where the man is OK with this.

ZombieKitten said:

OK everyone she ISN'T complaining!!!! My friend is REJOICING!!! THAT is the sad part to me!

that ain't natural, imo. they're both missing out