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PrintableMauve said:
I met my husband 6 years ago, spring of '05. We started dating Sept 22. 6 months later we found out that he had stage 4 cancer. He fought hard. He loved his mother and his kids. He married me on 8/28/10. He was so strong. Then he got sick when it got cold. I saw him every day and did not see he was dying. He had his up and downs but always bounced back. This time was different. April 7 we got the new that the cancer had spread to his liver and bones (spine mostly) I was fired from my job on the 13th. That was God letting be with him for the last two weeks of his life. He thought he had time. I convinced him to let his mom come from out of state, but really she should have come earlier. From Christmas to April he had lost 45 lbs, he didn't want her to see him like that. But I convinced him to come after Easter and stay for mothers day, she would help me nurse him back, put on weight and make him strong. But I waited too long. By the time she got here he was keep in the hospital after a routine weekly doctor visit. Mom flew in early but after one day he had stopped talking. I should have seen him getting weaker and got his family there, but the doctor said, " sure a visit would be nice But he's not that bad"
Now he had 3 children, 2 came for the first time to visit the week before he died and his oldest that he hadnt seen in years got here 1-2 before he died, on her 18th birthday. By then he was at home with hospice care. He was not speaking when he came home from the hospital. We were not prepared for his downward sprial. We didnt think to have something like a good bye letter for the children. For that my heart breaks for them, they loved their dad. He did his best to take care of them. He visited them, sent them presents, played with them and loved them. He was not a dead beat dad.
My husband became my world. I see him in all the things we did. I believed he would beat the cancer. But because of that I robbed His Mother and Children of important time they could have spent with their Father. I know it wasn't my fault, I truly believe he would not lose the battle, but he did. My husband was a proud man, a Navy man,just like my dad. He just didnt want them to see him so sick, and I went along with it.
you were right, saying these thing outloud, facing the misplaced guilt does help, THANK YOU You loved him so much. You are a wonderful person, I'm so glad you know it's not your fault. | |
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it will sound like I am running for Miss America, but:
No war For humans to conserve the Earth's natural resources No poverty My Legacy
http://prince.org/msg/8/192731 | |
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I'd like to be more aggressive too. Not mean or nasty, just to go for the things I really want and to be more confident.
I'd like for my band to find success (which might require some aggression from me)
I'd like to procrastinate less [Edited 7/25/11 21:54pm] My Legacy
http://prince.org/msg/8/192731 | |
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AYEEEE time flies. | |
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Actually I've been waiting for someone to post;
...I wish we all were nude, I wish there were no black or white, I wish there were no rules. By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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I wish I had all the self-discipline back (that I had when I was 18-20) about certain things. I wish my Thai family would be ok health-wise. I know we all get sick at times and nobody can live forever, but I mean be 'ok', ya know? Not struggling and suffering so much. I wish I could provide for everybody I love, all my family, blood and extended.
MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!! | |
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For the selfish elite to kindly rid the planet of themselves. For the selfish elite to kindly rid the planet of themselves. For the selfish elite to kindly rid the planet of themselves. | |
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Eye think u may b talking about being more assertive???....u can do that there r even classes u can go on that would help u Pickles...goodluck... Dave Is Nuttier Than A Can Of Planters Peanuts...(Ottensen) | |
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I wish I had a time machine.
I wish I knew the answer to the mysteries of the universe.
I wish I could fly. | |
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I wish I would have left all those original Star Wars toys I bought in their original packages instead of playing with them. All good things they say never last... | |
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By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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What I'd wish for:
No war No hate No famine
For myself; I wish I was in Louisville, Kentucky right now. | |
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You'll need to elaborate on that. By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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I forgot to add; as long as I'm back the next day.
OK...but what is there in Louisville? By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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A guy I like | |
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OK...and here I thought there was something cool happening down there, like a special horserace or cultural event.
Carry on then! By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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the neverending nature of it. At some point in your life....after having spent a small mint on razors, U will wish U had never gotten facial hair. | |
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I wish a muthafucka would be in my seat! We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves. | |
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I wish that The Org was more fun like it used to be. I know I know, be a part of the solution and not the problem | |
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1: Replecator a la Star Trek
2: Teleport.... or a holo-deck even
3: I honestly do, with my own 2 eyes, wish to have a gaze upon the earth from the Moon or Mars. | |
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I also wish I could teleport, driving to canberra or taking the train there takes soooo long and finding a carpark at work is ampain in the ass And costs $7 per day! I wish every time I went to pay for something, I'd reach into my wallet and find exactly the right change.
By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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Genesia said: I wish a muthafucka would be in my seat! :lol:  | |
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I'm just not all that fun. | |
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*hearing everybody who know me agree wholeheartedly* Thanks bastids! 
You took my list!
No, seriously- I wish similar things. "Love Hurts. Your lies, they cut me. Now your words don't mean a thing. I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..." -Cher, "Woman's World" | |
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Aww chile...great minds think alike I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince. | |
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MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!! | |
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Hi ya stranger | |
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Hello!! Happy is he who finds out the causes for things.Virgil (70-19 BC). Virgil was such a lying bastard! | |
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O MacDaddy ur Insatiable....... Dave Is Nuttier Than A Can Of Planters Peanuts...(Ottensen) | |
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